@fitlady21 I'm still nursing....and pumping. But I've cut down to 2-20 min pumps. I only want to nurse at wake up and bed time so I try to give her a bottle or sippy cup on the weekend. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. At her one year check up the DR said she only needs 15 oz of milk. So that would translate to probably 2 nursings and one bottle. She has been shunning the bottle during her week for the past month and only drinking one so it does make sense. She also drinks a good bit of water from her sippy. I have an oversupply of BM now so I'm hoping to go to one pump soon and then none. And cut nursing eventually also. My problem is I do t think she like the cocnut milk we've been giving her. While the DR said she technically said she doesn't need milk at all, I worry about that. I know she can get calcium from other foods but milk is easy. That got a little drawn out, but I do think you can stop pumping and still nurse on weekends as long as you have something to give her throughout the week.
@Ladybug2821 Is your LO allergic to dairy? I'm pumping once a day about 7-10 ounces. That's typically enough to get her through the next day but I have started adding 1 ounce of whole milk to each bottle so start that transition. I also have tons of breast milk in the freezer so she should be good with having breast milk while I'm at work until 18 months old. She's definitely drinking more than 15 ounces though.. she nurses 2-3 times overnight, when she wakes up, when I get home from work, and before bed. Not including the milk she gets during the day while I'm at work. Are you now offering food before milk?
S is all about her solids. She'd rather have food over milk. She eats 3 meals a day and Snacks throughout. I nurse when she wakes up then give her breakfast about an hour later. Than try for a bottle before her nap. If I'm home I'll try a bottle but sometimes she'll refuse so she'll nurse for a few mins (thinking it's more so for comfort). Then she eats lunch around 12 and dinner around 4-5. We try to give her a bottle in between that time. Then I nurse at bedtime. She doesn't do MOTN nursings for the most part because she STTN unless we have a random wake up. She just loves food more than milk now. She does have a dairy allergy that is why we are giving coconut milk. I think she is outgrowing it though because I have been able to consume dairy with no problems. Next is to give her something with dairy baked in to see how she reacts.
@Ladybug2821 girl my hair is all kinds of messed up lately. It's dry on the ends but Greasy in the middle and flaky dry dandruff on the top of my head. WTF. I have a Dr. Appt with a dermatologist tomorrow I believe I'm experiencing sebborhoic dermatitis. I will keep you posted. It's still thick an wavy curly but the greasy middle part doesn't wash out. It's so unnerving and I need a solution! So unfortunately I'm no hair goddess either and cannot give recommendations I also remember you asked how I was dealing with V's head banging behavior and honestly I'm just day by daying it and trying to ignore it and not make a night deal out of it so she knows it won't get a reaction. Easier said then done that's for sure. It seems to come and go, hopefully soon it will completely stop
@fitlady21 ugh I'm experiencing heavy regular bleeding too (wasn't a heavy bleeder pre pregnancy) and I've had my period for the last 5 months now. Hopefully yours eases up soon, oh the woes of womanhood.
Btw hats off to you Mama's still nursing and pumping, you are super moms!
@brzvice Have you tried using dawn dish soap on the greasy part? It could be a build up of something. I had used a keratin shampoo once that was just too much for my fine hair that it left a greasy build up. I stopped using it of course and used dawn a couple times and it took care of it. I've always had oily hair but during pregnancy it was perfect. Now it's even more oily than it was before. I need to do a baking soda wash with a vinegar rinse. That may also help with what you have going on.
Re: period. My period has been weird also. More so, that I keep spotting for almost a week after it's finished so I still feel like I have to wear something which is annoying. Recently, I've been having painfully ovulation. More than just the normal cramping I usually get.
@brzvice my hair/scalp has been a disaster since having Abigail too. I've always struggled with dandruff but now its like times a million and it seems way different. Plus I must itch it when I'm sleeping and it gets sore and sometimes bleedy. (Sorry tmi). It's so miserable. I use tea tree oil when its really bad but it seems like it only gives relief for a few days.
re:period I finally just went back on birth control just over a month ago. It made this months period so much more bearable now. Unfortunately my sex drive is back to non-existent but i think that is a combination of things.
*American lady living in Tanzania.
DH - Tanzanian Maasai
BFP #1 - MC Dec 2, 2015 (@ 9weeks) BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior. October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
Well second babysitter put in her 2 weeks notice. She is pregnant and needs to take it easy. She was really good too so this is unfortunate. Plus I don't want a ton of people in and out of Storm's life or my house. Only have 2 people to interview so hoping one of them works out. I feel like we can't catch a break.
@Ladybug2821 I hate that!! Does she have someone she would recommend? That's how we found our nanny after the first one moved.
She did but unfortunately that girl is now working full time at a daycare. Oh and I also found out she's still keeping another gig she has. I don't know the details but hope it's an older child that is less demanding. Otherwise, I would be a little pissed.
So I have sebborhoic dermatitis on my scalp which will never go away but can be managed by prescription shampoo and oil treatments. Thanks for all the help and support ladies I'm glad to know I'm not the only greasy flaky scalped broad out there! UGH @Ladybug2821 you can't catch a break on the babysitters fx you find a replacement that is Mary Poppins esque and more long term for S.
So.. I'm unemployed. I'm loving it right now but concerned about the financial aspect so have been penny pinching. Not ideal to have no job around the holidays but after almost 9 years with the company they royally hosed me like they have to so many others before me. I was naive and thought it would never happen to me. Basically they had a replacement for me in my position a "personal friend of the family" lined up and fired me over petty BS. I filed for unemployment but know they will fight me tooth and nail over benefits so we will see what happens. They are millionaires with high powered lawyers behind them so I'm just a mutt to them ready to stomp all over me . It's a damn shame.
Anyways off topic here bit does anyone else still using bottles? V gets two a day still of cow's milk and I'm going to try weaning her off her baba but Know it will be hard. She never used a paci so her baba is her comfort item.
We are still on bottles for cows milk. I would love to be done with them but I feel like I dont know how. I've started trying to have her use the 360 cup for water, but she still doesn't really seem to understand it.
Also, we officially have a walker after two months of her being a diva about it! Look out world.
*American lady living in Tanzania.
DH - Tanzanian Maasai
BFP #1 - MC Dec 2, 2015 (@ 9weeks) BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior. October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
@brzvice Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. FX the unemployment comes through. I went through something similar with a previous job and I was devastated because I had never been fired before. It ended up being the best thing that could happen because I ended up in banking which is so much better, and that company ended up cutting the pay to my position in half. Have you always had the scalp issue? Do you know what caused it?
Re bottles: S is taking on average just one bottle a day now. Sometimes 1.5-2. It's mixed with BM and coconut milk. She loves water from her sippy but the most milk I've been able to get her to drink out of it is 1 ounce. While I don't think it'll be that difficult dropping the bottle, I want her to drink The BM that I have been able to store the past couple weeks from giving her less to transition to coconut milk. So unless I can get her to drink it from the sippy, bottle it is. At her 1 yr check up, the DR told me she really didn't need milk anymore, that just water is ok because she's getting all her nutrients from food now.
@Ladybug2821 Uuuugh, I hate that for you! I can only imagine how stressful it is for you to have to try to find yet again, somebody new to care for S. I've also got my fingers crossed for your Mary Poppins to be!
@brzvice I don't know how unemployment works in your state, but if they fired you for reasons other than attendance, a major screw up, or insubordination they really shouldn't be able to deny you your unemployment. I was looking the direction of unemployment as well- my job is funded by DHS's ADvantage program, but our states financial situation has risked the program being completely cut, which means my job is gone, and all the assistance the program provides to disadvantaged disabled persons are kaput December 1st. Evicting the elderly and disabled right before Christmas: way to go, Oklahoma. But I digress. I was however, by some twist of fate, contacted Tuesday by a private grant funded agency to schedule an interview as a crisis interventionalist, had my interview yesterday, and they'd like to start me out part time on the weekends (which wwould actually be more hours than I work all week as a PCA so that works out alright.)
Bottles: Johnny has one left that he hasn't completely chewing on, and once its done for he is stuck with his cup, ready or not.
@kmolleltz I would say "Hooray Abigail!", but I know the stress level for mama doubles when those little legs get them from point A to point B (B being somewhere they don't belong) even quicker! Haha
My random: So I finally talked myself into doing some guided meditations even though I used to tell myself they were 'silly', but I really truly enjoy doing them now. It's a completely amazing feeling, and I highly recommend trying them. There are tons on YouTube. I got my sister into them, and we just feel so much more relaxed and less uptight lately.
@AllyTheKid I'm glad to hear that something else opened up for you at the right time. But that is really crappy that they are doing that to people. I may need to look into some meditation for myself. H is starting to give me anxiety with his hate the world and everything in it attitude. I just can't be pissed off all the time even if things aren't going my way. Recently I've just been really getting into Christmas. Looking at decorations at the store, listening to Christmas music, putting out apple and cinnamon scents. It's been helping a bit.
@ladybug2821 FI is kind of the same in regards to hating humanity as a whole. But I drop subtle hints and make sure to always point out the good stuff that happend. I used to be the same way honestly, until I started doing the job that I do. I work with a lot of less-than-savory characters, but when you get to know them you realize what they do may not be right, but 95% of the time its a product of their situation or raising, and all you can do is BE the example to follow. I don't hate these people. I think they are ignorant, not in an insulting way, they just truly don't KNOW any better. They haven't been educated in such a manner. And it just breaks my heart. So I talk to them, and I listen to them, and it has completely changed my own perspective for the better. I feel like my capacity for love and understanding and compassion has increased ten-fold.
Meditation is awesome. And honestly, even though this is totally going to sound like some annoying inspirational Pinterest quote, you truly start to realize you have all the answers to all your own questions if you just stop, clear your mind of everything but obe or two important thoughts, think deeply about them, and keep an open and well rounded mind about whatever comes to you. It's a very peaceful feeling if you accept it.
If you ever get some spare time (I know, what the heck is that anyway) check out some binaural beats on YouTube too, they are super relaxing. Eerily relaxing. I accidentally fell into super deep sleep listening to some last night after I put the kids down. I've been staying up, sometimes until 3:00a.m. with FI helping him with his English assignments, and last night I popped in my headphones and put on some beats with the intention of just relaxing and waiting until he asked me for some help, but I disappeared. I don't recall drifting off or anything, it just happened.
@AllyTheKid Honestly, I'm over being the person that always has to point out the good and remind him his life isn't so bad. I've been doing that for years now. He wasn't always like this, just within the last 5 years or so. He really needs more than I can give him as far as someone to talk to. He needs a neutral person but he won't do it. I'm very close to my wits end because I'm tired of how it's making me feel. It's very frustrating.
@Ladybug2821 That sounds so rough... I think A lot of the issue with FI was that he was dissatisfied with himself, so he just kind of took it out on everyone else and blamed the world for his unhappiness instead of taking responsibility for his own feelings and doing something about it. He is now A: In School, B: Quit abusing alcohol, C: Taking antidepressants and talking to a doctor, and he seems so much happier now. I honestly noticed a difference when he started school and was getting some intellectual stimulation. I think being involved with something other than your home life with your partner is so important. Be it school, groups, other friends, volunteer activities, whatever, just DO something and definitely talk to somebody, anybody, neutral (but on 'your level').
So I've been in a funk lately over my fertility. I've been struggling with the idea of getting a tubal because four children is plenty for us, but at the same time I feel like that would be "wasting" it. I'm only 27, I have roughly a 10 year window left of (safe) fertility. I went out on a limb and decided to become an egg donor. And honestly, signing up and knowing that I could help give a couple the little that they want so badly is almost like staring at your very own BFP in my opinion.
@AllyTheKid That's awesome! I've thought about becoming a surrogate since I had a super easy pregnancy and delivery. Only thing holding me back is the fact that I want another child so desperately (DH does not) and I think I would become too attached if I was pregnant with another persons child.
BFP #1 - MC Dec 2, 2015 (@ 9weeks) BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior. October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
Abigail is teething, (she has like 6-7 teeth coming in all at once, two of which are first molars), and she is just refusing basically all food. Also she decided I needed to hold her from 10 pm til 12:30 am last night. Every time I put her in bed she just screamed.
*American lady living in Tanzania.
DH - Tanzanian Maasai
BFP #1 - MC Dec 2, 2015 (@ 9weeks) BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior. October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
S has been a terror the past few days. Not wanting to take naps, not wanting to eat her normal foods, screaming, whining, and not listening. Maybe it's leap related but I'm not sure.
V popped one molar (upper left) last week after a couple restless night I discovered the culprit. 3 more on the way in and shes also been waking and wanting to be held throughout the night. The newborn amnesia is real because waking constantly used to be life but now even having to get up once throughout the night i'm like REALLY I CAN'T EVEN. How we all got through the newborn months I'll never know.
@brzvice molars are legit the worst. I've already decided.
Abigail has never slept thru the night so I haven't been blessed to have amnesia. Haha. I still long for that day
*American lady living in Tanzania.
DH - Tanzanian Maasai
BFP #1 - MC Dec 2, 2015 (@ 9weeks) BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior. October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
Is anyone still on 2 naps? We are but I'm wondering if she's ready to go to 1 and that's why her naps have been off. How did you know they were ready and how did you transition?
@Ladybug2821 I'm honestly not sure, I've only ever mandated 1 non-negotiable nap for the boys daily, whether or not they snooze afterwards some time before 5:30 is entirely up to themselves. After that they (and I) are SOL until bedtime because I absolutely will not sacrifice the established 8:30 bedtime for anything! Haha It has always worked out great for us too, by the way. So I would say try 1 scheduled nap a day, and then see whether or not she needs another. She'll make it painfully obvious if she does, which I'm sure I don't have to tell you!
I feel like watered down dog crap you guys. I went into a nice remission of whatever the eff it is that is burdening my central nervous system, but relapsed immediately after I had a TB test done for work on the 17th. Those two probably aren't related at all, but it was an annoying coincidence for sure. At first I thought it was just the TB test making my arm go numb, until it moved into my leg, bladder, bowels, and the left side of my face and eye again. This really blows. @brzvice How long did it take you to get a diagnosis, did you already say? My phone can't seem to load the pages when I try to read back. GP said if he had to bet money before I go to the Neurologist he'd say MS or something very similar, but decided against Lupus. At this point I don't really care what it is, I just want to know what I can do about it, because it feels so depressing and demoralizing feeling like I've lost control of my body and mind, and that there isn't a thing I can do about it right now.
@AllyTheKid I hurt just reading that, im so sorry your dealing with those horrifying symptoms. I was diagnosed with "cold feet" by the walk in clinic Dr. But knew that was BS so went to my GP who sent me for MRI and then I was referred to a nuerosurgeon for a possible nerve/ back injury who then referred me to nuerologist where I had an additional MRI, an EMG test and finally a spinal tap to confirm the diagnosis. The spinal tap and the lesions on my brain seen on the MRI were dead ringers for the MS diagnosis. Over all once I got to the right type of Dr. (Nuerologist) I was diagnosed in one week
Sorry for the impulsive break down ladies, it was a rough day. My GP sent a referral out for a neurologist, but my insurance dropped the ball and accidentally sent out a referral to a neurosurgeon, so I'm waiting for them to take care of that, then get the ball back to rolling. I had a CT scan and MRI of my head that they said came back clear, so I don't know what to expect. The only place with any kind of scar tissue is my optic nerves. I don't really know what to expect.GP says a lumbar puncture is pretty likely, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I just want to know how to feel better. I'm hoping for some swift answers like yours once I get in!
Since we only have 13 days left in the year (wait, Whaaat?), I think it would be pointless to make a new Randoms thread right now, so as the whiney-ass crybaby of the group I am once again reviving this thread to complain. I am dealing with some serious resentment issues right now. I can't put my finger on a particular reason other than I'm upset and sad that we as a couple can't go out and do normal adult couple things (i.e. go hang out with friends or go to dinner and have a few drinks or be anywhere that may have the temptation of adult beverages) because FI is a recovering alcoholic who has zero self control and is a belligerent monster when he drinks. He quit, and hasn't been drinking per my ultimatum that he quits alcohol or we quit being his family- and even though he's kept his nose clean ever since, I still get bothered when I can't enjoy a night out with him and cut loose or something because of "his problem", and when I think about that I dwell on past transgressions (which I know is wrong, unhealthy, and unfair). We are prisoners of our own home to avoid temptation. I'm not really a drinker usually, but a friend of mine has been asking to get together and have some wine which sounds lovely, and I'd like that very much simply because it sounds fun and it's different from my routine and I want to enjoy the company of another adult female- but then I think about FI wanting some wine if I have some, and what may come of that, and it ruins everything. I think I have PTSD or something. Or maybe I'm just being a paranoid, unforgiving jerk. I don't know. Whatever the case, is makes me incredibly unhappy, resentful, and I have no idea how to approach such a touchy issue. It just really stinks that we can't be "normal".
@AllyTheKid Can you not go out and drink with your friend while your husband stays at home? That way he isn’t tempted and you get to enjoy some time out. You can always Uber home.
@fitlady21 No We both have 4 kids, and her H works all day until mid evening. We just want to enjoy one glass of wine together (she's BFing) on Fridays and get the kids together to play. Maybe we can try to do it over at her house, just the kids and I. We'll see. Hopefully her H and my FI won't throw a fit about it, they might as well be the same person with their personalities.
Re: October Randoms
Btw hats off to you Mama's still nursing and pumping, you are super moms!
Re: period. My period has been weird also. More so, that I keep spotting for almost a week after it's finished so I still feel like I have to wear something which is annoying. Recently, I've been having painfully ovulation. More than just the normal cramping I usually get.
re:period I finally just went back on birth control just over a month ago. It made this months period so much more bearable now. Unfortunately my sex drive is back to non-existent but i think that is a combination of things.
BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior.
October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
UGH @Ladybug2821 you can't catch a break on the babysitters fx you find a replacement that is Mary Poppins esque and more long term for S.
So.. I'm unemployed. I'm loving it right now but concerned about the financial aspect so have been penny pinching. Not ideal to have no job around the holidays but after almost 9 years with the company they royally hosed me like they have to so many others before me. I was naive and thought it would never happen to me. Basically they had a replacement for me in my position a "personal friend of the family" lined up and fired me over petty BS. I filed for unemployment but know they will fight me tooth and nail over benefits so we will see what happens. They are millionaires with high powered lawyers behind them so I'm just a mutt to them ready to stomp all over me . It's a damn shame.
Anyways off topic here bit does anyone else still using bottles? V gets two a day still of cow's milk and I'm going to try weaning her off her baba but Know it will be hard. She never used a paci so her baba is her comfort item.
Also, we officially have a walker after two months of her being a diva about it! Look out world.
BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior.
October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
@kmolleltz Yay Abigail!
Re bottles: S is taking on average just one bottle a day now. Sometimes 1.5-2. It's mixed with BM and coconut milk. She loves water from her sippy but the most milk I've been able to get her to drink out of it is 1 ounce. While I don't think it'll be that difficult dropping the bottle, I want her to drink The BM that I have been able to store the past couple weeks from giving her less to transition to coconut milk. So unless I can get her to drink it from the sippy, bottle it is. At her 1 yr check up, the DR told me she really didn't need milk anymore, that just water is ok because she's getting all her nutrients from food now.
@brzvice I don't know how unemployment works in your state, but if they fired you for reasons other than attendance, a major screw up, or insubordination they really shouldn't be able to deny you your unemployment. I was looking the direction of unemployment as well- my job is funded by DHS's ADvantage program, but our states financial situation has risked the program being completely cut, which means my job is gone, and all the assistance the program provides to disadvantaged disabled persons are kaput December 1st. Evicting the elderly and disabled right before Christmas: way to go, Oklahoma. But I digress.
I was however, by some twist of fate, contacted Tuesday by a private grant funded agency to schedule an interview as a crisis interventionalist, had my interview yesterday, and they'd like to start me out part time on the weekends (which wwould actually be more hours than I work all week as a PCA so that works out alright.)
Bottles: Johnny has one left that he hasn't completely chewing on, and once its done for he is stuck with his cup, ready or not.
@kmolleltz I would say "Hooray Abigail!", but I know the stress level for mama doubles when those little legs get them from point A to point B (B being somewhere they don't belong) even quicker! Haha
My random: So I finally talked myself into doing some guided meditations even though I used to tell myself they were 'silly', but I really truly enjoy doing them now. It's a completely amazing feeling, and I highly recommend trying them. There are tons on YouTube. I got my sister into them, and we just feel so much more relaxed and less uptight lately.
Meditation is awesome. And honestly, even though this is totally going to sound like some annoying inspirational Pinterest quote, you truly start to realize you have all the answers to all your own questions if you just stop, clear your mind of everything but obe or two important thoughts, think deeply about them, and keep an open and well rounded mind about whatever comes to you. It's a very peaceful feeling if you accept it.
He is now A: In School, B: Quit abusing alcohol, C: Taking antidepressants and talking to a doctor, and he seems so much happier now.
I honestly noticed a difference when he started school and was getting some intellectual stimulation. I think being involved with something other than your home life with your partner is so important. Be it school, groups, other friends, volunteer activities, whatever, just DO something and definitely talk to somebody, anybody, neutral (but on 'your level').
I went out on a limb and decided to become an egg donor. And honestly, signing up and knowing that I could help give a couple the little that they want so badly is almost like staring at your very own BFP in my opinion.
BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior.
October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior.
October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
Abigail has never slept thru the night
BFP #2 - Feb 2, 2016 --EDD 10/10/16 --Abigail- October 6, 2016. Heart warrior.
October 2017- Began fostering to adopt T, (DOB:November 19, 2013)
So I would say try 1 scheduled nap a day, and then see whether or not she needs another. She'll make it painfully obvious if she does, which I'm sure I don't have to tell you!
@brzvice How long did it take you to get a diagnosis, did you already say? My phone can't seem to load the pages when I try to read back. GP said if he had to bet money before I go to the Neurologist he'd say MS or something very similar, but decided against Lupus.
At this point I don't really care what it is, I just want to know what I can do about it, because it feels so depressing and demoralizing feeling like I've lost control of my body and mind, and that there isn't a thing I can do about it right now.
I had a CT scan and MRI of my head that they said came back clear, so I don't know what to expect. The only place with any kind of scar tissue is my optic nerves. I don't really know what to expect.GP says a lumbar puncture is pretty likely, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I just want to know how to feel better. I'm hoping for some swift answers like yours once I get in!
I am dealing with some serious resentment issues right now. I can't put my finger on a particular reason other than I'm upset and sad that we as a couple can't go out and do normal adult couple things (i.e. go hang out with friends or go to dinner and have a few drinks or be anywhere that may have the temptation of adult beverages) because FI is a recovering alcoholic who has zero self control and is a belligerent monster when he drinks. He quit, and hasn't been drinking per my ultimatum that he quits alcohol or we quit being his family- and even though he's kept his nose clean ever since, I still get bothered when I can't enjoy a night out with him and cut loose or something because of "his problem", and when I think about that I dwell on past transgressions (which I know is wrong, unhealthy, and unfair). We are prisoners of our own home to avoid temptation.
I'm not really a drinker usually, but a friend of mine has been asking to get together and have some wine which sounds lovely, and I'd like that very much simply because it sounds fun and it's different from my routine and I want to enjoy the company of another adult female- but then I think about FI wanting some wine if I have some, and what may come of that, and it ruins everything. I think I have PTSD or something. Or maybe I'm just being a paranoid, unforgiving jerk. I don't know. Whatever the case, is makes me incredibly unhappy, resentful, and I have no idea how to approach such a touchy issue. It just really stinks that we can't be "normal".