My UO (and it might just be because I’m newer) but I don’t get why the WTO/TWW thread is the most active one here and it seems all the BotB folks have ended up on TTGP. Seems backwards.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme We seem to have ebbs and flows in traffic on this board for some reason, while TTGP has heavy traffic, so posts will get more attention over there than over here. As for me, I don't really feel comfortable on TTGP (it seems more like an IF-lite board than TTGP, but that's my UO). I mostly just lurk over there and don't really post anything, preferring to post over here. I try to keep threads going here, but that doesn't always happen.
@dreamscapes_ definitely keep posting things here! I try to start threads occasionally. I think because we don’t really have as clear of a goal here on BotB it’s hard to get regular post updates. Obviously with WTO/TWW threads, you kind of have an update each day, so it naturally stays active.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I’ll add another one. I didn’t jive well with my new doctor last time I was in so I’m looking for a new family medicine type doc so I won’t have to switch again when I start TTC/get pregnant. Probably jumping the gun, but I hate all the new patient BS you have to go through.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I agree with what was said above, TTGP just has more traffic but I definitely don't feel as welcome there just yet until I actually start trying and can really contribute without feeling like an imposter.
Maybe my UO is I feel like there are too many rules? And I find I don't get as involved because I'm sure to make someone angry. I also could be super sensitive and a big baby. Probably the latter. When I was on here a few years ago every newbie created their own intro post. I get that things get too cluttered and crazy but those long intro posts get really lost once you're 2 or 3 pages in.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@meggyme I do like that our WTO/TWW is weekly, though. I find I don't really have much to say on a daily basis (but this is only my first cycle actively trying). I guess the goal of our board is "maintaining sanity"? I do think you need to jive with your doctor, especially with something like maternity care. I hope you find one you like!
@mermaidca I honestly agree with you. I'm very hesitant to post over there because I don't want to post something in the wrong place and end up upsetting someone. I was about to post in their TWW thread, but I saw someone saying that you shouldn't participate in it if it's your first try, and I'm sitting here like "Seriously?". So I mainly just lurk over there and observe and learn and all that. They all seem like decent people, I just don't want to do something that's going to hurt someone, even unintentionally.
@dreamscapes_ So strange that you can't post if it's your first try...? Isn't that the point? And the TWW used to be where I would look for all the BFPs!! Where else do you post those when you get them? The whole point of the wretched wait is to hopefully end up with a positive. Maybe I don't want to follow the rules because it means I can't join in hahaha.
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
I think I got a better UO (it's a slow day at work....)
I love baby showers, "Come and Meet Me Teas", sex reveals....genital reveals....ugh not good names you know what I mean, cut into a cake and see what colour it is or open a box to see the balloons. I'm all for baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, whatever kids as long as the mom isn't doing it for the gifts. Every baby should get a party! I will throw a themed party for any reason and a new baby is one of the best reasons!
Me: 31 H: 36 L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@mermaidca You're only allowed to post BFPs in the grad thread IF you're a contributing member (which seems to vary based on who the one posting is). Beyond that, only the "what does a positive test look like" thread or just moving along to your BMB.
@mermaidca@dreamscapes_ when I was on TTGP in 2015 they posted bfp’s in the TWW thread with a TW. It’s weird how much has changed in such a short time. I don’t remember as much bmb lurking either, but I must say it’s a new hobby of mine. Watching the new bmb drama unfold is pretty entertaining.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I like the way TTGP is run for the most part. I guess that's an UO over here! I do remember how it was back in 2015 with all the drive by posts and it was annoying. I totally get the impatience with people coming along, being an AW and then getting a BFP after barely participating in the community.
BOTB has never been a very active board, but it's always had consistent activity, unlike some of the boards on here which are totally dead. It's a shame the BGs ruined everything. I wasn't even here before the mass exodus, but you can tell things were more fun back then if you look at old threads.
I don't know what AW and BG mean. I don't mind the whole "put all posts together" thing, I just don't particularly feel like it's the right place for me personally. Larger boards like that tend to overwhelm me, and smaller ones like this feel more homey for me. I can get to know people more easily, you know?
@meggyme I enjoy lurking on certain boards, but that's usually just because I'm bored and want to see what else is happening. I am curious what exactly is the significance of noodling, though.
@dreamscapes_ AW= attention whore or just an attention seeking post BD= baby dance, or for mature adults, sex. Similarly you will see HIO (hump it out)
MUD= made up drama, occasionally you will see that on the crazier threads. QFP= quote for posterity/proof so people can still see what was said after the original poster dirty deletes (DD)
I haven’t seen the noodling one, but I think it refers to some poster that had an old wives tale about somehow using a noodle to determine pregnancy? I’ve seen the references, but not the original post.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Totally agree with the first two UOs on here! Too lazy to scroll back up to see who posted, lol.
I plan to post on TTGP once we start trying. I'll post from day one honestly, but I get not sharing a BFP on the first cycle. My issue is, someone could be super active those 4-5 weeks before a BFP, while others may post here and there just enough that their name is recognizable for multiple months and still be considered "contributing". I agree that TTGP seems more like an IF board, which is weird to me because there's literally a board called "Trouble TTC"!!
Totally agree with the first two UOs on here! Too lazy to scroll back up to see who posted, lol.
I plan to post on TTGP once we start trying. I'll post from day one honestly, but I get not sharing a BFP on the first cycle. My issue is, someone could be super active those 4-5 weeks before a BFP, while others may post here and there just enough that their name is recognizable for multiple months and still be considered "contributing". I agree that TTGP seems more like an IF board, which is weird to me because there's literally a board called "Trouble TTC"!!
But imagine you are starting out TTC, which no reason to think there is a problem. The months pass and you see people come and go. Before you know it the people left on TTGP are those having fertility issues. Why should they be forced to leave and go to another board? Especially one that isn't as active. I can totally see it from their perspective. If they're the only people that stick around, they make the board culture.
That’s was basically my experience last time on TTGP. TW previous pregnancy: I was an active member for the two months before I got my bfp, basically posting every day and they i ghosted for my bmb because even though I’d have loved to share it with them I was only there 2 months. End TW
I can see how it would be difficult to see a rotating cast of characters come for a couple months and then get pregnant and leave. That’s part of why I like being over there now, so hopefully in 6 months when I start TTC I will feel like I already know people and can share my journey instead of being the timid newbie.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I already know I have a very low AMH level of .31, so I do understand the whole not knowing you're going to have issues thing. I found out about that when I was getting that old diagnosis of PCOS re-evaluated (which was a misdiagnosis, as I do not have it). I was just saying that I don't feel comfortable posting over there and pretty much prefer to lurk. I don't want to accidentally upset someone, so I just won't say anything over there.
@dreamscapes_ I'm sad you feel like you have to keep this board going. I'll try and step in more. I've had a crazy busy past few weeks. Maybe we should try to do more daily GTKY since we don't have the traffic for daily WTO/TWW
@lalala2004 I was here before and during mass exodus. There was a lot more fun and openness back then. But it was a bit unorganized and the drive by/trolls was ridiculous and that resulted in a lot of unwelcome newbies. Some great and awesome people were jaded from all that and it was a bit to harsh at time IMHO. However that said I was in the BMB at the time that got branded as the mean and worst wives on the planet.
Totally agree with the first two UOs on here! Too lazy to scroll back up to see who posted, lol.
I plan to post on TTGP once we start trying. I'll post from day one honestly, but I get not sharing a BFP on the first cycle. My issue is, someone could be super active those 4-5 weeks before a BFP, while others may post here and there just enough that their name is recognizable for multiple months and still be considered "contributing". I agree that TTGP seems more like an IF board, which is weird to me because there's literally a board called "Trouble TTC"!!
But imagine you are starting out TTC, which no reason to think there is a problem. The months pass and you see people come and go. Before you know it the people left on TTGP are those having fertility issues. Why should they be forced to leave and go to another board? Especially one that isn't as active. I can totally see it from their perspective. If they're the only people that stick around, they make the board culture.
Yea that's true. I guess that I think it needs to be more open to people who don't have trouble conceiving. Not that I think drivebys should be supported, but someone getting their first BFP after only a month or two is still as excited as someone who's been trying longer. Both women are simply excited to be pregnant, regardless of how long or how they got there. Idk, maybe I'm wrong. I lurked the board a lot before coming to this board, and still lurk honestly. Maybe I'll feel differently once I join that board, but I agree that it is VERY intimidating, even if you do follow the rules!
I've been lurking all week since I've been busy and haven't gotten on my laptop to post... and have been enjoying following this conversation! I definitely understand why TTGP has the rules/expectations that they have, I've lurked a while and they make sense to me. I haven't decided whether I'll post over there once we are TTC or not - I don't find it intimidating as far as the rules go, but it might be too heavy traffic for me (maybe that's my UO?? haha). They have sooo many people who post daily, and since I'm stuck with mobile only during the day (can't access the boards at all from my work computer), I feel like I'd never be able to keep up with everything!
Totally agree with the first two UOs on here! Too lazy to scroll back up to see who posted, lol.
I plan to post on TTGP once we start trying. I'll post from day one honestly, but I get not sharing a BFP on the first cycle. My issue is, someone could be super active those 4-5 weeks before a BFP, while others may post here and there just enough that their name is recognizable for multiple months and still be considered "contributing". I agree that TTGP seems more like an IF board, which is weird to me because there's literally a board called "Trouble TTC"!!
But imagine you are starting out TTC, which no reason to think there is a problem. The months pass and you see people come and go. Before you know it the people left on TTGP are those having fertility issues. Why should they be forced to leave and go to another board? Especially one that isn't as active. I can totally see it from their perspective. If they're the only people that stick around, they make the board culture.
Yea that's true. I guess that I think it needs to be more open to people who don't have trouble conceiving. Not that I think drivebys should be supported, but someone getting their first BFP after only a month or two is still as excited as someone who's been trying longer. Both women are simply excited to be pregnant, regardless of how long or how they got there. Idk, maybe I'm wrong. I lurked the board a lot before coming to this board, and still lurk honestly. Maybe I'll feel differently once I join that board, but I agree that it is VERY intimidating, even if you do follow the rules!
Of course someone getting their BFP early on is excited. But people who have been around the block aren't going to be as excited for them. That's just reality. Someone with a BFP can excitedly go introduce themselves to their BMB. I don't see why that's a big deal.
**Dirty Lurker Alert** Hi Ladies!! I just couldn't stay away any longer!! @dreamscapes_ Keep up the good work on the posts. This board has ups and downs as far as postering traffic but I think it is important to keep it going Before TB implosion this board was pretty busy. It is sad how much that time period really changed TB as a whole. RE:TTGP I posted there briefly but not long enough to post a BFP. I just quietly left for my BMB board. I do think that it is a great board but I also get that it is not for everyone. You should post where you feel comfortable.
@lalala2004 - I think sometimes it is difficult because some people spent so long lurking that board that they forget that just because they feel like they 'know' people and their stories that they have only been posting a short time so they don't 'know' you the same way. If that makes sense. I am still not advocating for drive bys or agree that random one time posters should be waving BFP in people's faces but I do think that what I mentioned above could be the reasoning sometimes.
meggyme
member
Re: UO 11/2
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
My UO (and it might just be because I’m newer) but I don’t get why the WTO/TWW thread is the most active one here and it seems all the BotB folks have ended up on TTGP. Seems backwards.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
I can't think of a UO!
I agree with what was said above, TTGP just has more traffic but I definitely don't feel as welcome there just yet until I actually start trying and can really contribute without feeling like an imposter.
Maybe my UO is I feel like there are too many rules? And I find I don't get as involved because I'm sure to make someone angry. I also could be super sensitive and a big baby. Probably the latter. When I was on here a few years ago every newbie created their own intro post. I get that things get too cluttered and crazy but those long intro posts get really lost once you're 2 or 3 pages in.
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
@mermaidca I honestly agree with you. I'm very hesitant to post over there because I don't want to post something in the wrong place and end up upsetting someone. I was about to post in their TWW thread, but I saw someone saying that you shouldn't participate in it if it's your first try, and I'm sitting here like "Seriously?". So I mainly just lurk over there and observe and learn and all that. They all seem like decent people, I just don't want to do something that's going to hurt someone, even unintentionally.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
I think I got a better UO (it's a slow day at work....)
I love baby showers, "Come and Meet Me Teas", sex reveals....genital reveals....ugh not good names you know what I mean, cut into a cake and see what colour it is or open a box to see the balloons. I'm all for baby showers for 2nd, 3rd, whatever kids as long as the mom isn't doing it for the gifts. Every baby should get a party! I will throw a themed party for any reason and a new baby is one of the best reasons!
H: 36
L & N twin girls: 3yo. Born at 30 weeks. 2 month NICU stay
BFP Aug 2018: EDD April 2019
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
BOTB has never been a very active board, but it's always had consistent activity, unlike some of the boards on here which are totally dead. It's a shame the BGs ruined everything. I wasn't even here before the mass exodus, but you can tell things were more fun back then if you look at old threads.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
@meggyme I enjoy lurking on certain boards, but that's usually just because I'm bored and want to see what else is happening. I am curious what exactly is the significance of noodling, though.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
AW= attention whore or just an attention seeking post
BD= baby dance, or for mature adults, sex. Similarly you will see HIO (hump it out)
MUD= made up drama, occasionally you will see that on the crazier threads.
QFP= quote for posterity/proof so people can still see what was said after the original poster dirty deletes (DD)
I haven’t seen the noodling one, but I think it refers to some poster that had an old wives tale about somehow using a noodle to determine pregnancy? I’ve seen the references, but not the original post.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
Totally agree with the first two UOs on here! Too lazy to scroll back up to see who posted, lol.
I plan to post on TTGP once we start trying. I'll post from day one honestly, but I get not sharing a BFP on the first cycle. My issue is, someone could be super active those 4-5 weeks before a BFP, while others may post here and there just enough that their name is recognizable for multiple months and still be considered "contributing". I agree that TTGP seems more like an IF board, which is weird to me because there's literally a board called "Trouble TTC"!!
DS2 due 12/12/18
I can see how it would be difficult to see a rotating cast of characters come for a couple months and then get pregnant and leave. That’s part of why I like being over there now, so hopefully in 6 months when I start TTC I will feel like I already know people and can share my journey instead of being the timid newbie.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
DS2 due 12/12/18
Hi Ladies!! I just couldn't stay away any longer!!
@dreamscapes_ Keep up the good work on the posts. This board has ups and downs as far as postering traffic but I think it is important to keep it going
RE:TTGP I posted there briefly but not long enough to post a BFP. I just quietly left for my BMB board. I do think that it is a great board but I also get that it is not for everyone. You should post where you feel comfortable.
@lalala2004 - I think sometimes it is difficult because some people spent so long lurking that board that they forget that just because they feel like they 'know' people and their stories that they have only been posting a short time so they don't 'know' you the same way. If that makes sense. I am still not advocating for drive bys or agree that random one time posters should be waving BFP in people's faces but I do think that what I mentioned above could be the reasoning sometimes.