Friend seemingly not happy about pregnancy — The Bump
Families and Friendships

Friend seemingly not happy about pregnancy

Hi everyone - I am wondering if anyone has encountered a situation like this. I know I shouldn't let this bother me in such a happy time, but my mind keeps drifting back to it. 

My best childhood friend who I talk to daily but don't see frequently (we live in different cities) seems to not be happy about my pregnancy. Not even a congratulations. Just a "how do you feel about that?" and switched the conversation back to things about herself - this hurt me deeply. It's been four days since I told her and she hasn't mentioned it again since, but is still texting me about her problems and what she has going on in her life. I have ALWAYS been here for her...when she needs me, I am always there to reassure her and help her. The more I think about it, the more I realize that the same cannot be said for her. I feel like our friendship has turned into a very one-sided relationship.

I'm sorry for the rant but has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? What did you do about it? 

Re: Friend seemingly not happy about pregnancy

  • I am sorry I do not have any help for you as I have not yet been pregnant but I might suggest posting this on the board for mother's due during your month, or maybe whatever trimester you are in. This board doesn't get much action in it.
  • Trust me, I was 17 when I had my first and only 1 friend stuck around. Maybe things are not going well for her and you just get the blunt of her being this way. If it's one sided I'd just stop talking to her for awhile, but that's just me, I don't like one sided friendships considering she expects you to be there for her and she's not for you.
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  • Well from some one who had children long before my friends did. You really know who your friends are when you're pregnant. It's like you have the plague. Most everyone vanishes. Don't feel bad for not talking. She will realize that it hurt and if she doesn't then she wasn't that good of a friend anyways. 
    annawesttandromedacorrine2
  • @amiranda1189  I have a friend like that - she never ever seemed to really care or be happy for me when things went well in my life. When I told her I was pregnant she acted the same way and even a few days later found something to pick a fight with me about.  It was actually the last straw for me - I told her she is stressing me out and it's not good for the baby and pretty much called it quits.  I'm not saying you need to bail on this friendship, but maybe you are nurturing a friendship daily that is only one sided.  Once that baby comes, I wonder if you will have time to do that and what she would do. How long do you think it would last if you weren't there to complain to everyday?

    Me: 31 | Husband: 32
    Married: September 2014!
    TTC #1: January 2016 BFP 5/16/16 Quinn Born 1/27/17 

  • So sorry to hear that. I think everyone has had a friend like that at one point in their lives. You could try confronting her, but you likely wont get the result you want :/
  • I'm sorry and I understand how this feels. When my best friend found out I was pregnant, she basically said that she wasn't happy for me, well she said "i'm not going to tell you congratulations." Just remember that there's a reason why people behave that way, and it's not you, it's something inside of them. Not that she's a bad person, she just doesn't know how to deal with the news. 
  • I know this post is kind of old, but I just saw it and wanted to offer a different perspective in case you were still dealing with this issue. *TW* I have a friend who became pregnant shortly after I miscarried my baby at 10 weeks. She never knew I was pregnant because I was waiting to share with everyone until after I'd reached the second trimester. I tried really hard to be happy for her, but I was still grieving. I say this only to say that you never know what's going on in someone's life, and maybe she should be given the benefit of the doubt.
    adiratjrm_14
  • My friend was this way. She stopped talking to me actually.. never said that was why. I knew her and her husband were trying as well.  Then i noticed when she found out she was expecting a few weeks after i told her she started contacting me but unfortunately she had a miscarrage. I text her and now she doesn't respond . I just have to focus on my pregnancy and not get caught up in how others feel. Its hard sometimes.
    onechoctawgirlAMCsquared
  • I think we all have had a friend like this at one point or another. Do you think she might be receptive to a conversation about how you're feeling? I know that sort of thing can be uncomfortable, but maybe she just needs to be called out on what she's doing?
  • I have a friend just like this. There is a group of 8 of us and she is the only one unmarried and I will be the 5th to have a baby. She basically told me that she has nothing in common with us anymore, nothing to add to our conversations and she needs to pull away. It annoys me because we've all been friends since high school (we are all just turning 30 now) and it seems that our friendship would be stronger than that, but at the same time this is the kind of person she has always been. Needs to be the center of attention, only asks you how your day was so you will ask about hers and she can go on forever. We've been having a struggle the past few years and at this point honestly, I'm over it and if she doesn't want to be in my life, I don't need her. That's how I look at it anyway. It is HER not YOU and you have every right to feel hurt when you've supported her for so long.
  • Girl!! Jealousy is a stinky perfume! 
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