Does anyone else feel HUGE already??? I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and I feel like a whale lol!! I keep saying to DH, "You mean I was bigger than this with DS??"
I'm also starting the pregnancy way heavier. But I'm so self conscious about my body this time. Makes me sad
@justkeeptrying I get super self conscious around this time too. I also feel huge. I know FOR A FACT I wasn’t this big yet with P, because my baby shower was at 22 weeks and no one could even tell I was pregnant. I’m 20 weeks now and I am very much so obviously pregnant right now. I’m trying to stay off the scale, and focus on the love I have for the little girl growing in me. We have to remember to that we get bigger, faster, with subsequent pregnancies.
Im also breaking out terrible right now, which isn’t helping, and I feel like my legs are starting to get bigger. Last time my arms got a lot bigger and I never realized until I looked back at pictures of myself.
i feel stupid because I’ve always been, and still am honestly, “the small girl.” So I feel guilty for being self-conscious but pregnancy tends to have that effect on a lot of us.
@ShawnnaO, it's so different this time around for me. I felt so awesome with DS (not symptom wise, but appearance) so it's hard for me to compare. Last time I loved taking my weekly photo and this time I kind of dread it. But I also know I'll regret it if I don't.
And yes! I already prepped DH that I will be singing next week "Oooooh we're halfway there!!!"
Ok. Really needing a comfy maternity belt. I found a comfy one that isn't very supportive. I have a very supportive belt that doesn't allow for sitting or bending. Recommendations, please!
Edited to add: LuVee on Amazon is soooo comfy if you want light support, and cheap!
Definitely bigger this go around. The majority of my maternity tops now fit and with my last two pregnancies they were still “baggy” until about 26-28 weeks. Might have to size up with this one.
@justkeeptrying I started this pregnancy about 50 lbs heavier than I was with DS and I definitely feel huge. As in, already having trouble seeing my toes. Ha. But my body made and fed DS and is currently making another one so I’m trying to be proud of myself. I haven’t put on a ton of weight yet, and I’m hoping to keep it that way. Hugs. You are not the only one who feels like a whale.
I'm both glad that I'm not the only one but sad you guys feel weird about it, too. It's like I thought I would magically be okay with my body but it's just strange right now. I'm working a trade show this week and when I was packing, I tried on the official booth outfit. I didn't look pregnant. Just strange. I just looked sloppy because nothing fits quite right. Tuck shirt in, looks like crap. Untuck, not at all professional. Try a narrow belt under the boobs. Looked totally ridiculous. So I have a couple maternity dresses I'm going to wear. Then I tried on another shirt, looked in the mirror and said, "Holy crap! When did I get pregnant?!" And today I'm wearing a normal t-shirt. The cabbie had me put my own bag in her car because she doesn't want to lift heavy things. Then she offered to take me by the liquor store. And, how do people wear scarves and look cool? Any time I try to accessorize with one, it just looks ridiculous.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I just find I am carrying really awkwardly. With my first two it was a round belly...this one looks like a weird point. Like her bum is just sticking out. My non maternity shirts look like I am trying to conceal things in my shirt. Soooo maternity shirts in public, I don't need any "ma'am what's that under your shirt" questions.
Oh man. I echo your sentiments in that I'm sorry others are feeling this way but I am so glad to not be alone. I've gained 16lbs this pregnancy, which isn't terrible. But starting the pregnancy 40lbs heavier than with DS, I'm almost at the weight I was at when I gave birth to him. I keep telling myself I'll lose the weight after. But I really need to watch my weight (as I continue to eat my bagel with cream cheese for breakfast!)
For anyone not wearing maternity clothes yet, do it!!! They're so much comfier. I can't imagine still squeezing into my regular clothes.
@barrelocarol, I had the tingly letdown feeling the other day and it freaked me out. I started leaking around this time (19 weeks) with DS. So I'm totally preparing for that any day now. Ugh. So not looking forward to pulling out the breast pads.
@barrelocarol I am not nursing but I have noticed my chest and breasts are significantly more tender and painful this time. I keep getting the letdown feeling and my nipples are awful. I find that wearing a supportive bra constantly helps, even at night. I started using my beloved Motherlove nipple cream and it helped a ton. No other advice, but I’m here to commiserate with you
I'm also feeling pretty down on my bod at times (like while dressing for basically any social gathering, when I want to try and look "good"). Thankfully this vibe does not really apply to work, where I wear scrubs and occasionally get peed on so f*ck it, or home, where I prance around in my husband's t-shirts and he showers me in snuggles and belly rubs).
I haven't gained much weight on the scale (maybe 8 lbs so far), but I don't think this accounts for simultaneous muscle loss. I had athletic, thick legs prior to pregnancy which are very much doughy and not so muscular these days! It's dumb, but I can't get past it sometimes. I feel like the pregnancy jeggings I own just bolster this insecurity. Trying to comfort myself with some fact I read that babies make you store brown fat in your thighs for breast feeding fuel.
I'm with you ladies on the self consciousness. This is my first pregnancy and I knew to expect body changes but.. expecting and experiencing are two different things I guess.
On a different note, for all you stm+, how did you pick your pediatrician? And when should I start looking? I've found a few online that are in my network and have great reviews but, what do I need to do to get this process started?
@sarahhedger7 I never “picked” mine. I just scheduled my daughters apt with the hospital I go to and they assigned me a pediatrician. It’s very easy for us to request a different doctor should we not like the one we’re assigned to. I never felt the need to do any sort of vetting process.
@barrelocarol I’m feeling similar feelings. I had a follow up breast u/s for a biopsy I had done on a lump 6 weeks ago. The radiologist suggested I stop wearing regular bras for the time being and use a nice but comfy sports bra to give my boobs, ducts, tissue, and nerves a break because no matter how well a regular bra fits, something is likely going to be irritated. Not sure if that’s helpful or not, but you’re not alone.
Paint color question... we are going with a “rainbow” themed room. Pretty simple is my idea, with splashes of rainbow/color. That said.. is white going to seem like a padded room? How white do we go? I mean true white? Off white? Not white at all? Any suggestions? We have to get it done before carpet comes on Wednesday. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
@chasingroygbiv all the walls in our bouse are true white. I think once you get decor in there and have furniture, it doesn’t feel like a padded room or unfinished or anything. I think, given the theme of your room, you’re going to really appreciate those white walls so everything still feels pulled together and not messy.
I'm with everyone on the body insecurity. This being my third I thought I knew what was going to happen. I didn't start showing with either of my kids until about 6 months (DD) and around 5 months (DS) and it wasn't a slow gradual build it was like once second there really wasn't anything then hello bump! And it was pretty obvious that it was a pregnancy bump. This time I started showing a lot earlier (like around 2 months I noticed a difference) which makes sense with this being my third but since it started earlier on it just started to look like I had put on weight. I've always been on the skinnier side so looking like I put on weight really made me self conscious. All of my co-workers and family obviously knew what was going on but being out in public I felt uncomfortable. While I still fit into all of my normal clothing I still don't feel comfortable. Glad to know I'm not alone and not just being terribly vain about feeling uncomfortable with my body image.
@sarahhedger7 I never actually "picked" a pediatrician the first time around, I hadn't even thought about it as a FTM so I went with the office the hospital recommended which is about 10 minutes from my house (the hospital itself is about 30 minutes from my house) so unfortunately I'm not a big source of information on interviewing pediatricians. I do know that if you don't like the office you can always change it so I wasn't too concerned with the first appointment because I knew that if I didn't like them I could always go with another office. I was very lucky and I love all the drs at this practice and their scheduling is great, they have later days so working moms can make appointments for after they're done with work.
For choosing Pediatricians I would start with call your insurance and getting a list of in-network providers, reviewing them online and then possibly calling to set up interviews with your top 3 picks first. Go with your gut and you can always switch if need be. Honestly, though we didnt even call to see if our pediatrician was accepting new patients until our son was 2 days old. She’s the same ped DH and I both saw as kids so we already knew we would like her
@sarahhedger7, the process for picking a pediatrician probably depends on your area. For us, my OB gave us a list of available pediatricians once we got to 3rd trimester. Told me to tell me who I wanted at my next appointment and she'd set it up. The list only has maybe 10 available doctors. So I googled them, and then decided based on online rating, location, and personal experiences from friends. Worked out I got the same ped my sister uses for her kids. She's great!
@chasingroygbiv We did a really light blue in our master bedroom that is basically white but has a little color to avoid that. Light blue would complement rainbow, but white would be fine too.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@sarahhedger7 I never did the interview thing, either and most of the moms in my network didn't.
I think the interview is great, but it's so so limited.
Example: We chose this one pedi in the hospital. He said he was pro-breast feeding and holistic treatments He was humorous and we felt there was a good fit.
Fast forward to my hormonal, emotional early days...this DonkeyMD told me my breasts were too small to nurse effectively, he made fun of me for the questions I asked, made fun of me for using "old school" cloth diapers and gave zero alternatives when I asked for other routes besides Tylenol, which he always always prescribed.
We finally switched but an interview with him would have done nothing. Your experience on the spot with a baby, particularly during the first medical issue, will give you all the info you need.
@chasingroygbiv I have passive grey in my living areas, and am looking at nebulous white for the baby’s room. It’s in the same color family-so a cool white. I’m pretty sure I got the paint samples from Lowe’s and that they are Sherwin Williams colors.
@chasingroygbiv I recently did "antique white" in my family room and with white-white borders on the windows and doors, it honestly looks very warm and creamy, but still clean. I think warm whites look anything but padded-room/sterile! It sounds crazy to compare whites in the room, but they seriously look very different based on the light it gets. You can't go wrong with a warm undertone in a bedroom!
I'm 5ft10in and have always been lean, so at 19 weeks now (and some significant LBs over my forever normal weight), I feel like a big, shapeless blob... but because I'm so tall, I don't think I look pregnant to most people, just bigger. Rotten for self esteem, and my husband and mom both think I'm ridiculous when I comment on feeling chubby. I question if I'll feel less chubby when my bump looks more like a bump to everyone, but I'm not dealing very well with it either way.
Long rambling just to say that I hear you, girls. And I appreciate it must be much more so for STM+.
I am going to ask my dr tomorrow but how late are you allowed to travel? My DH Just found out they are having a yearly meeting for one of his groups in Cancun and spouses are being encouraged to go and paid for. But it's not until the end of January and my due date is March 9th so I am pretty sure it's a no go.
@megpeg I think most airlines officially say 36 weeks but it would depend a lot on how long of a flight it is... we moved internationally when I was pregnant with DS and my PCM told me he wouldn’t recommend doing a 10+ hour flight after 28 weeks because of the risk of blood clots and how uncomfortable I was going to be. I did fly home for ten days ((5 hour flights)) at 32 & 33 weeks but I don’t know that I would do that this pregnancy. Five hours is a long time and I’ve been stuck in my seat on too many of these flights due to turbulence so, I won’t travel as late as I did before. I also have a two year old now too. If you go, compression socks are a must.
@megpeg - Not sure about timing travel-wise, but you should check the Zika situation before going anywhere in Central America while pregnant. Zika's linked to birth defects that are more than a little scary. And a heads up that even if your husband goes alone, he could contract Zika and pass it on to you and baby. Not trying to be a fearmonger, just sharing what I know - Zika scares me so much, my husband and I cancelled our original honeymoon!
@chasingroygbiv I second the blue white! Benjamin Moore has a good true white. Do you live near an Orchard Supply Hardware? If you do...use them and become obsessed!!
Also, I grew up in all white houses. Our walls were just always white and I never even noticed color until embarrassingly late in life.
So, no, I def think it would look nice with all of the decor and additions as the focal points. Post pics when you're done!
Is anyone avoiding placing ipads etc. near their belly? I like to use my iPad to search Pinterest etc. while watching movies with my DH in the evenings. I placed a pillow on my belly while I use it now...am I being neurotic?
@barrelocarol I literally gasped when I read about your pediatrician. WOW. Forget you being hormonal and emotional - he sounds like a jerk!! Sorry you had to experience that, and glad you figured out early that he was not the doctor for you, or seemingly anyone for that matter.
@nancysimp, I feel like I should be more cautious about this, but I'm not. I remember my uncle (who's very paranoid) freaking out when I used my cell phone while pregnant with DS. I rolled my eyes at him. But I am aware of it when I'm watching tv with the iPad on my belly. I'm trying to avoid that. But I'm not doing a great job.
@kiki75 lol-ing at your post... my battles with the mirror are very similar, scarf included! I've been wearing some of my non-maternity loose fitting clothes and a lot of times they just look frumpy! I like my maternity clothes but don't have a ton of winter stuff so I need to either buy a few things or just accept I look frumpy and it's ok. @barrelocarol I didn't read all the responses but have you gone to motherhood and tried theirs on? I think when I went they had two different brands. I didn't find theirs to be super comfortable but it wasn't awful either. I would usually wear it when I was walking/standing for long periods and take it off when sitting for long periods.
@chasingroygbiv all the walls in our bouse are true white. I think once you get decor in there and have furniture, it doesn’t feel like a padded room or unfinished or anything. I think, given the theme of your room, you’re going to really appreciate those white walls so everything still feels pulled together and not messy.
All our walls are white too. I'm going to put up floating bookshelves of some kind with colorful covers of books showing and hand some bright art and curtains. I think the white will just be a non-noticeable backdrop.
Also, I'm so glad to hear I'm not alone in the body image issues, although of course I don't wish this on anyone. I was a bit overweight to begin with and now I already look truly pg, but I can still fit in my regular t-shirts and that makes feel like I just look a little fatter/ said at how I must have looked before. Also I had been working out before pg and feeling really strong and now I feel like awkward and not strong and that doesn't help. Seems this is a normal thing to go through in the first half of pg. Can't deny the changes now!
This is my first, so I can't compare to nursing, but last week I bought a bra that is much larger than the new one I got last summer. Gotta say, 1 holy wow they're huge. 2. I look a lot better! and this really helped w above issues.
Also, my nipples are dark and kinda... crusty looking? Is that normal?
@fatstagnation I have noticed that my nipples look chapped, so I'm hoping it's normal! I know darkening is normal, but I haven't noticed color changes yet.
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: May 2008 DD Born: March 2018 DS Born: April 2019 Due with #3 December 2020!
It used to be that when you open threads, it would take you to the first new-to-you unread post. Now it takes me to @barrelocarol's post asking about recommendations for a maternity belt every.single.time.
It's taken me a while to realize that it's the same post, not a new one every time. I was thinking, MAN, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP CAROL???
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Re: Weekly Questions ((29 October))
I'm also starting the pregnancy way heavier. But I'm so self conscious about my body this time. Makes me sad
Im also breaking out terrible right now, which isn’t helping, and I feel like my legs are starting to get bigger. Last time my arms got a lot bigger and I never realized until I looked back at pictures of myself.
i feel stupid because I’ve always been, and still am honestly, “the small girl.” So I feel guilty for being self-conscious but pregnancy tends to have that effect on a lot of us.
On the bride: half way there!
And yes! I already prepped DH that I will be singing next week "Oooooh we're halfway there!!!"
Edited to add: LuVee on Amazon is soooo comfy if you want light support, and cheap!
While I know that's normal, it still makes me feel...something. Not concerned, but something.
I'm both glad that I'm not the only one but sad you guys feel weird about it, too. It's like I thought I would magically be okay with my body but it's just strange right now. I'm working a trade show this week and when I was packing, I tried on the official booth outfit. I didn't look pregnant. Just strange. I just looked sloppy because nothing fits quite right. Tuck shirt in, looks like crap. Untuck, not at all professional. Try a narrow belt under the boobs. Looked totally ridiculous. So I have a couple maternity dresses I'm going to wear. Then I tried on another shirt, looked in the mirror and said, "Holy crap! When did I get pregnant?!" And today I'm wearing a normal t-shirt. The cabbie had me put my own bag in her car because she doesn't want to lift heavy things. Then she offered to take me by the liquor store.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
The only thing that actually works is sex and nursing - not things I can do all day long.
My poor midwife has no ideas for me other than the usual advice given to nursing moms.
Ideas on how to end the aching? I definitely didn't have this last time.
For anyone not wearing maternity clothes yet, do it!!! They're so much comfier. I can't imagine still squeezing into my regular clothes.
@barrelocarol, I had the tingly letdown feeling the other day and it freaked me out. I started leaking around this time (19 weeks) with DS. So I'm totally preparing for that any day now. Ugh. So not looking forward to pulling out the breast pads.
I haven't gained much weight on the scale (maybe 8 lbs so far), but I don't think this accounts for simultaneous muscle loss. I had athletic, thick legs prior to pregnancy which are very much doughy and not so muscular these days! It's dumb, but I can't get past it sometimes. I feel like the pregnancy jeggings I own just bolster this insecurity. Trying to comfort myself with some fact I read that babies make you store brown fat in your thighs for breast feeding fuel.
On a different note, for all you stm+, how did you pick your pediatrician? And when should I start looking? I've found a few online that are in my network and have great reviews but, what do I need to do to get this process started?
I'm with everyone on the body insecurity. This being my third I thought I knew what was going to happen. I didn't start showing with either of my kids until about 6 months (DD) and around 5 months (DS) and it wasn't a slow gradual build it was like once second there really wasn't anything then hello bump! And it was pretty obvious that it was a pregnancy bump. This time I started showing a lot earlier (like around 2 months I noticed a difference) which makes sense with this being my third but since it started earlier on it just started to look like I had put on weight. I've always been on the skinnier side so looking like I put on weight really made me self conscious. All of my co-workers and family obviously knew what was going on but being out in public I felt uncomfortable. While I still fit into all of my normal clothing I still don't feel comfortable. Glad to know I'm not alone and not just being terribly vain about feeling uncomfortable with my body image.
@sarahhedger7 I never actually "picked" a pediatrician the first time around, I hadn't even thought about it as a FTM so I went with the office the hospital recommended which is about 10 minutes from my house (the hospital itself is about 30 minutes from my house) so unfortunately I'm not a big source of information on interviewing pediatricians. I do know that if you don't like the office you can always change it so I wasn't too concerned with the first appointment because I knew that if I didn't like them I could always go with another office. I was very lucky and I love all the drs at this practice and their scheduling is great, they have later days so working moms can make appointments for after they're done with work.
Honestly, though we didnt even call to see if our pediatrician was accepting new patients until our son was 2 days old. She’s the same ped DH and I both saw as kids so we already knew we would like her
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Edit: I don't apprehensive support. I appreciate support, TB. Stop with the ridiculous auto incorrect.
I think the interview is great, but it's so so limited.
Example: We chose this one pedi in the hospital. He said he was pro-breast feeding and holistic treatments He was humorous and we felt there was a good fit.
Fast forward to my hormonal, emotional early days...this DonkeyMD told me my breasts were too small to nurse effectively, he made fun of me for the questions I asked, made fun of me for using "old school" cloth diapers and gave zero alternatives when I asked for other routes besides Tylenol, which he always always prescribed.
We finally switched but an interview with him would have done nothing. Your experience on the spot with a baby, particularly during the first medical issue, will give you all the info you need.
Long rambling just to say that I hear you, girls. And I appreciate it must be much more so for STM+.
Also, I grew up in all white houses. Our walls were just always white and I never even noticed color until embarrassingly late in life.
So, no, I def think it would look nice with all of the decor and additions as the focal points. Post pics when you're done!
Is anyone avoiding placing ipads etc. near their belly? I like to use my iPad to search Pinterest etc. while watching movies with my DH in the evenings. I placed a pillow on my belly while I use it now...am I being neurotic?
@barrelocarol I didn't read all the responses but have you gone to motherhood and tried theirs on? I think when I went they had two different brands. I didn't find theirs to be super comfortable but it wasn't awful either. I would usually wear it when I was walking/standing for long periods and take it off when sitting for long periods.
Seems this is a normal thing to go through in the first half of pg. Can't deny the changes now!
This is my first, so I can't compare to nursing, but last week I bought a bra that is much larger than the new one I got last summer. Gotta say, 1 holy wow they're huge. 2. I look a lot better! and this really helped w above issues.
Also, my nipples are dark and kinda... crusty looking? Is that normal?
Married: May 2008
DD Born: March 2018
DS Born: April 2019
Due with #3 December 2020!
It's taken me a while to realize that it's the same post, not a new one every time. I was thinking, MAN, WILL SOMEONE PLEASE HELP CAROL???