This part really really sucks. I really wish I could come back here to join your grad board with a successful story and offer you ladies hope. But sadly that's not the case. After 3 losses, how do you ever find the strength to try again. Or when do you simply give up. After my first loss I knew I still had a good chance of being successful. After my second I figured I simply had really bad luck. But after my third, I know that this will never be easy for me. And how much heartbreak can one couple take. I'm now struggling with wondering if the two of us will ever be enough.
Oh @40momma I’m so sorry that you’re back here. There are no words that can really help when you have to deal with another loss, but you have whatever support here that you need. Unfortunately I don’t have the answers to your questions, but I hope that things can get better for you. Thinking of you.
Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN May 17: IUI #2 = BFN Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies) Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201 Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715
U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125! EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
Thank you ladies. As much as it sucks to be back here, its comforting to know there's a great group of ladies here that can understand and provide support. Before I got pregnant this last time I had an appt for a hysteroscopy to check my uterus for abnormalities but we didn't get to it yet. I'll go back to request this again. I've had a number of blood tests (all fine) and DH and I both had chromosome tests done (won't find results for some time). DH and I have had a few really great talks about where to go from here. He feels we haven't explored all of our options yet (mainly getting any answers from the hysteroscopy) so he hasn't given up hope yet.
@40momma I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I am also a RPL sufferer, as are too many of us on this board I think, so please know that we feel your pain and share in your frustration. Sounds like you have a supportive husband and a plan - let those things ground you.
@40momma I am so heartbroken to see you back here and so sorry for your loss. As someone with RPL myself, it is devastating and rips all the trust and happiness out of things. I am hopeful for you that the hysteroscopy will give you some answers with a clear path forward. Maybe it will end up being the septum, which has really good outcomes once removed. By the way this is msstephanielynn - I had to update my UN with Bump issues.
*Signature TW*
TTC#1 October 2014
BFP: November 2014, DS born via c-section July 2015
TTC#2 December 2016
BFP: 12/23/16- No heartbeat at 8 weeks, D&C 01/30/17
40momma I'm so sorry. I understand what you're going through, as I felt similarly. The first MC was "well, this actually happens a lot and doesn't mean anything." The second was "Well, 2 in a row doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem." The 3rd was upsetting, but at least I knew I'd qualify for testing. The 4th was devastating to me. Are you looking at doing any more testing? It's hard when all of the 'easy' stuff is ruled out, since after those tests, most of the time RPL is unexplained. It's a giant shite sandwich. Please take some time for yourself. Also, I know it helped me to look at what my life without babies would be like. This was incredibly hard for me at first, but once I pictured a happy life even without kids, I was better able to face that as a possible reality without sobbing every 5 seconds. Knowing that I could travel and do a million amazing things, that hopefully my sister will have kids and I could use my maternal instincts to be the best aunt in the entire world, that I have my dog/son that is the most amazing collie in the world and he is like my son to me... these things all help me to cope. (As does my AMAZING therapist... )
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
Re: Heartbroken to be here, again
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
TTC#1 October 2014
BFP: November 2014, DS born via c-section July 2015
TTC#2 December 2016
BFP: 12/23/16- No heartbeat at 8 weeks, D&C 01/30/17
BFP: 03/11/17- Chemical 03/15/2017
BFP: 04/17/17- Chemical 04/22/2017
05-10/2017 - RPL Testing/Septum Resection Surgery
11/2017-03/2018 3 Natural cycles / 2 TIC w/ trigger shot
BFP: 03/29/18, Rainbow Baby Boy Due late November/ early December 2018
Are you looking at doing any more testing? It's hard when all of the 'easy' stuff is ruled out, since after those tests, most of the time RPL is unexplained. It's a giant shite sandwich.
Please take some time for yourself. Also, I know it helped me to look at what my life without babies would be like. This was incredibly hard for me at first, but once I pictured a happy life even without kids, I was better able to face that as a possible reality without sobbing every 5 seconds. Knowing that I could travel and do a million amazing things, that hopefully my sister will have kids and I could use my maternal instincts to be the best aunt in the entire world, that I have my dog/son that is the most amazing collie in the world and he is like my son to me... these things all help me to cope. (As does my AMAZING therapist... )
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@40momma I am so so sorry to see your post this morning. Thinking about you and sending internet hugs.
***TW in siggy***
Me: 40 DH: 47
Married: 10/2015
DSD: 17
BFP #1: 6/2/15, ectopic, metho 7/15
BFP #2: 12/4/15, cp 12/7/15
BFP #3: 8/5/16, MMC discovered 9/1, Misoprostol 9/19
BFP #4: 5/10/17, EDD 1/20/2018
Baby boy born January 12, 2018, 6 lbs 3.3 oz, 20.5 in.