Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
CPR79
member
Re: Pumping Questions
I've also been using the Haaka to help boost my supply, it gets me at least an extra 2oz during feeds.
Do you have access to a lactation counselor? I took my pump to one of the free "baby cafe" things at my hospital and they helped me to problem solve to pump more. Turns out one of my nipples is 1mm bigger than the other, and using a different size flange upped my output by about half an ounce on that side. We also played with the suction strength.
I exclusively pump and I had issues with my supply at first. I tried power pumping and that helped a little but what really seemed to help was sitting on the couch and pumping 1 side during an episode of a favorite TV show (aprox 30 - 40 minutes). I did that and got a decent amount. The next time I pumped, I did my normal pumping time and I still got quite a bit
Married: 06-2024
TTC #1: Since November 2015
Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
due to previous issues.
***TW***
BFP: 11/4/2016
BFP: 07/17/2024
When you pump, do you get multiple let downs or should I just stop after the milk stops flowing the first time? I usually never get more than I do right at first. Which is still not very much, ugh. I might have to try pumping after a night time feeding when it's been 4-5 hours and maybe there's still more left in my breasts.
BFP September 2013 - MMC at 12 weeks
BFP February 2014 - early loss/CP at 4.5 weeks
BFP May 2014 - MMC/ complete molar pregnancy at 11 weeks
BFP December 2015 - DD born 8/18/2015
BFP November 2016 - pending...
I am a consultant and go to different facilities every day. Last week I had no issues in the buildings I was in. Had office space I could use. Today though...I am sitting on a toilet
Maybe call ahead to the facility to see if they can find a place for you before you go?
I used to have a job where I spent my week in different facilities and homes. Idk what I woukd have done. There is no way each of those places could have provided space for me.
I am traveling next week for work. I am planning on bringing my breast pump, but one of the days I am going to be at Universal Studios. Don’t really want to take my big pump around the park with me. Thoughts on a fairly easy (and not so expensive) portable pump? Freemie doesn’t work with the type of pump I have, so that’s out.
In the beginning, I could get about 3 oz total with each pump session (20 minutes), pumping 3x a day at work and making up the extra in the morning and evenings. However, I quickly wasn’t able to keep up and had to go into the freezer storage. My pumping output continues to dwindle, such that I’m not only getting 2 ounces each pump and I’m almost out of freezer supply. When I’m with him, he’s content after feeding and feeding the same frequency as daycare.
I’ve tried several different flange sizes, different pumps (we have a medella symphony at work and spectra at home), drinking lots of water, oatmeal for breakfast everyday, and fenugeek.
Any other things to try? I truly think this a pumping problem not a supply issue, as he seems to be very content, I just can’t seem to get the milk out!
I use the Medela PISA and have the Medela Easy Expressions pumping bra. Now I don’t use the pumping bra very often. I just wear nursing tanks or the sleeping bras and am able to place my flanges so they stay put, but I sometimes do need to reposition every once in a while in order to get all the milk out.
oh yeah and massaging during definitely makes a huge difference! also, how long are you pumping for? i went from 4 15 min sessions to 3 20 min sessions and got more.
That is the only other thing that I can think of. You have already tried several good things and gotten other good suggestion s.
I have found that I have to pump 4x, and every ~2-1/2hrs, to get the 3 bottles we need. If I space it further then my supply dips. Luckily I have a private office, so I can close the door and keep working while I pump. Some days I have to pump during my commute or after LO is in bed to make it work.
Lots of water and making sure I eat enough is important, too. And I eat oatmeal with flaxseed and brewers yeast most mornings, which is supposed to help.
In some women, fenugreek actually hurts supply, so you might try taking a break from that to see if it helps. I read somewhere to try moringa instead, but I have not tried it, personally.
Also, an IBCLC (lactation specialist) can help with pumping advice, too. Or a La Leche League mtg if there is one in your area. They can help check flange size and give advice about suction/speed settings.
The daycare would like to feed him 5 ounces every 2 hours, I only allow 4 ounces every 2 hours, but I think he only needs 4 ounces every 3 hours. They insist he’s “starving” but when I stay and watch, he’s happy and playing. I drop him off late and pick him up early and work at night to make up for the time missed at work because I can’t pump enough. They overfeed to help him take naps I think. I’m thinking about switching daycares if I can’t solve this which is sad as I think they take good care of him otherwise.
The location consultant through my pediatrician had little to add. I’m going to a local LaLeche league meeting this week, so I’ll let you know if I learn any good additional tips.
Thanks all!