@mdfarmchick Obviously not BTDT but I agree on letting kids cry and self soothe. Some things need parental intervention (and sometimes parental apologies if appropriate. I learned a lot from the times my dad would come into my room and say, "I lost my cool and it wasn't okay. I'm sorry.") but sometimes they're just overstimulated or stressed or frustrated and need to let it out.
UO I actually liked a Bump ad I saw this morning. It was for Care Bears for Land of Nod. To which I gasped and said "I need you in my life!" But uhhhh they want $60 for a pair of booties. Lolololol. No. And the headbands are hideous.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I’m going to wear a button that says “don’t talk to me about my pregnancy or kids” to work from now on.
I really don’t want to hear you “oh he’ll be so much easier than your girls” or any more boy vs girl bs. He may be easier, one girl has been easier than the other so I’m not buying your boy vs girl argument (which insuppose is my UO). Kids will be who the are - period. I just had to tell someone to walk away from my desk because she wouldn’t let it go. She still managed a “just you wait”. (FYI she has one child so I don’t even know where all this “wisdom” is coming from).
Can we just ban the phrase "just you wait?" I have an employee who has used this on me at least once a week since I told her, from everything about how I don't really want to breastfeed, to how my baby will cry until he's 20 years old if I don't let him cry it out at night. She also said it to me every time her kids gave her a hard time over the years of us trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant, even after I told her that we were struggling and that it was hard for me when she asked why we didn't have kids yet constantly. I am feeling pretty cranky lately and can only keep it together for one or two more "just you wait!"s
@bettyvonsomethingstein For the most part, these are extended family members that I'm not particularly close with, but it's getting to the point where I really don't want to even end up in the same room as them (at a holiday function or whatnot). We've recently announced that we're pregnant and when I receive their congratulations my internal response is like, "oh, so you care about my unborn child? Try, yanno, believing in common sense, climate change, and basic human rights."
The one that hurts the most is my brother – just thought he was better than this. But he kept inserting his wacko opinions into my life against my expressed wishes, making it personal ... and now we basically have no relationship at all.
Yes to letting kids cry! Sometimes my toddler totally loses his shit and I have to put him in his crib until he has settled down enough for me to even attempt to find out what’s wrong. Kids have bad days, too
It’s okay to let your kid cry. Unless he is throwing such a huge massive fit that my nerves can’t handle it, sometimes he just needs to have his “moment.”
This is is especially unpopular when I am visiting my family because it is practically a crime for my child to be upset and make noise. Also, I don’t let him just lose his shizz in public and disturb other people. But he’s a kid. He’s allowed to be upset.
I could have written this. My parents can't bear to see my son cry so they distract him and get him to laugh. Ok...I let them have their grandparent fun.
My in laws give me advice, DURING the chaos of the tantrum. How could anyone think that's helpful? I don't blanket disregard them; we just have a different philosophy on kids. Like...I don't like to call kids bad or good. They're kids doing their thing. Our son has the option to do what we are asking of him or some other choice we present. Terminology and choice are important in our house.
@ShawnnaO Yes! I liked throwing our son his first party but that was for me, whatever that says about me. We didn't and haven't bought presents but we do take special time for experiences.
I get annoyed at the multiple birthday parties with gift registries. Your kid is 2. I was going to get a gift anyways and (undefiantly) it might be home made or not on the registry.
Add me to the it is okay to let your kid cry list. Also that is okay to not entertain your child 24/7. Kids can play alone - that is okay too. My sister tried to make me feel guilty about not playing with DD at all times. *insert eyeroll here* (Random Sidenote: This is the same sister who accused me of "trying the be the perfect parent" when I wouldn't put DD in her carseat in the top basket part of the cart.)
Cart and Carseat PSA:
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Just want to add...I didn't think you needed to write that part. You have a thought and philosophy just as valid as someone who has BTDT. I think most people on this board would agree you are very filled with thought and I always appreciate your response. I wouldn't discount you bc you "don't have a kid."
This ties in with the "just you wait" as if before kids makes you unable to have any opinion, thought, desire or philosophy.
@becausescience I cringe whenever I see parents do that! Ugh. Early confession time! I’m a total car seat safety nut. I hate seeing kids foreword face right at a year and I’m the one who always says something about an improperly buckled child.
@becausescience and @Gingermom15 im a car seat nut as well! We just switched my 5 year old to a high back booster (she meets height and weight and sits perfectly every time) but I keep going back and forth about the decision!
@Gingermom15, I will never understand the hurry to flip a kid from RF to FF. Maybe I'll understand it more once DS is FF. But I am in NO rush to turn him.
@Gingermom15 and @justkeeptrying I don’t know what the obsession is with flipping them! My parents harped on it so bad until I showed them those YouTube videos showing crash dummies rear facing vs forward facing. They finally understood! Once we switched at age 2 they started trying to tell me the straps were too tight... uh yea, that’s the point, to keep them in the seat! It never ends...
I plan on waiting until March baby is here and reevaluating. He will be almost 2 1/2, so we will see. If it’s easier to have one FF and one RF at that point, then I will think about it. But I’m in no rush
@Gingermom15 and @heatherdubrow, DS is 2.5 and still RF. This baby will be using our bucket seat for the first while. I'm hoping to get DS to 3.5/4 and then put him FF and this baby can use his current seat to be RF. So long as DS doesn't outgrow his seat by height in the next year, that's the plan!
@becausescience okay I knew bucket seats don’t go on top of target carts because they’re so flimsy, but I didn’t know they’re not supposed to go on top of ANY cart. Thank you for sharing!
@Gingermom15 and @heatherdubrow, DS is 2.5 and still RF. This baby will be using our bucket seat for the first while. I'm hoping to get DS to 3.5/4 and then put him FF and this baby can use his current seat to be RF. So long as DS doesn't outgrow his seat by height in the next year, that's the plan!
Ideally I want to get as close to 4 as possible, but I am open to flipping sooner only because we have a small car. He probably won’t be flipped before 3 though lol
@becausescience and @Gingermom15 im a car seat nut as well! We just switched my 5 year old to a high back booster (she meets height and weight and sits perfectly every time) but I keep going back and forth about the decision!
We still have our 7 and 5 year olds in 5pt harness seats. They may be switching when the baby comes (they are both the same size haha). I just want to keep them harnessed forever!
Team RF for longer than "current recommendations"! We kept DD RF until she was just over 3, and will probably do the same with DS. DD is pretty petite for her age, so we just felt better that way. Now that we are on baby #3, I think that timeline worked well and we'll do it with our other two, too. I love hearing all of you who are all about car seat safety! I have a lot of friends who hustled to flip their kids from RF to FF at 1!!!
Also, you guys are great and all, but what is going on?! Team no top sheet?! WHO ARE YOU?? #teamtopsheet4L
@ShawnnaO, yes! The reasoning is two-fold. Firstly, the car seat is heavy can easily imbalance the shopping cart causing it to tip! Secondly, when the bucket seat "locks" into the shopping cart, we really don't know what damage it's doing and if that's going to impact how effective the car seat becomes in locking into the base of the car seat. Thus it could wear the locking mechanism making it ineffective in a car accident!
So many people think car seats are supposed to go there since they appear to "lock" into the shopping car. Such a common misconception!
Also, I am fighting some “let them cry” people in my life right now, but I am talking about not letting a tiny baby cry, I am not at all against let a little kid have a freak out Here and there. Romeo will be the product of two emotional people and I am sure he will also have some strong feelings. Eta, the end of my post was cut off
Just as a side note, we had to flip DS after two to FF—which wasn’t our plan—because he was getting car sick every time we were in the car for more than 30 minutes. So sometimes all the plans in the world have to change because of things you didn’t plan on. I get car sick too so I felt horrible with him throwing up.
But my SIL is still using an expired infant bucket seat with my nephew. He was born last December and boy does it bother me!
GAH the top sheet discussion was driving me wild this morning and TB at work and on my app were refusing to let me comment or love tit.
You anti top sheet people are absolutely insane. You have to wash your top blanket way more often when you don't use a flat sheet. Or if you don't wash it you're just sleeping in dirty covers.
Also my UO from this morning: Turkey bacon is way better than Pork bacon.
GAH the top sheet discussion was driving me wild this morning and TB at work and on my app were refusing to let me comment or love tit.
You anti top sheet people are absolutely insane. You have to wash your top blanket way more often when you don't use a flat sheet. Or if you don't wash it you're just sleeping in dirty covers.
^^^This. Also I think we had this discussion early on in an UO thread...
And all bacon is delicious.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
GAH the top sheet discussion was driving me wild this morning and TB at work and on my app were refusing to let me comment or love tit.
You anti top sheet people are absolutely insane. You have to wash your top blanket way more often when you don't use a flat sheet. Or if you don't wash it you're just sleeping in dirty covers.
Also my UO from this morning: Turkey bacon is way better than Pork bacon.
@antoto I have 3 comforters and fitted sheets that we cycle through during the weeks. I love clean linens so we never go more than a couple of days between fresh. Do people go longer washing their blankets because of a top sheet? Is that it’s purpose? That’s kinda gross lol
@Gingermom15 eh I wouldn't say that's the purpose of the top sheet but that is a benefit of it. I use it mostly because I live in AZ and like being able to kick the cover on and off as the AC cycles through, but keep the sheet on because sleeping with nothing is weird. But yeah you don't wash the cover every week since your skin never really touches the cover, just the sheets.
Team rear face through Prom over here! No, but really, DD is 3 1/2 and still RF. She doesn’t complain, she knows no different, she’s comfortable, why turn her? That said, we will probably turn by 4 because of the weight/height limit of her seat. DS was in a 5 point harness until he was 6 1/2 and is still in a highback booster now at 8 1/2. He also doesn’t complain, so who cares?
My family has asked me when I “plan to turn” DD, my answer is always, “I don’t know, why?” Because seriously, why should I? She climbs in by herself, I just buckle her as I would if she were FF so I know she’s in properly.
@mdfarmchick yes! we kept our oldest RF until about 3 but her sister decided to start unbuckling herself the week before we moved from AZ to MA, I had to be able to easily see her so around she turned. I am a huge car seat nut and it killed me to do it but the two of us alone in a car (H and oldest were in his car) for 5 + days it was safer to know she was actually strapped in.
And ooooh, I have real UO! Meat is murder, and I am going out of town next weekend so I don’t have a nervous breakdown smelling the bacon festival happening in my town. We might as well be hosting the yulin dog meat festival as far as my heart is concerned. My husband eats meat and I love him, life is confusing.
And ooooh, I have real UO! Meat is murder, and I am going out of town next weekend so I don’t have a nervous breakdown smelling the bacon festival happening in my town. We might as well be hosting the yulin dog meat festival as far as my heart is concerned. My husband eats meat and I love him, life is confusing.
OMG have you seen Okja? It ruined my life and I had to swear off red meat and pork. Baby steps.
Re: UO Thursday - 10/19
UO I actually liked a Bump ad I saw this morning. It was for Care Bears for Land of Nod. To which I gasped and said "I need you in my life!" But uhhhh they want $60 for a pair of booties. Lolololol. No. And the headbands are hideous.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
The one that hurts the most is my brother – just thought he was better than this. But he kept inserting his wacko opinions into my life against my expressed wishes, making it personal ... and now we basically have no relationship at all.
I am so sorry. I don't even understand how that happens, but that has to hurt.
My in laws give me advice, DURING the chaos of the tantrum. How could anyone think that's helpful? I don't blanket disregard them; we just have a different philosophy on kids. Like...I don't like to call kids bad or good. They're kids doing their thing. Our son has the option to do what we are asking of him or some other choice we present. Terminology and choice are important in our house.
I get annoyed at the multiple birthday parties with gift registries. Your kid is 2. I was going to get a gift anyways and (undefiantly) it might be home made or not on the registry.
Cart and Carseat PSA:
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
This ties in with the "just you wait" as if before kids makes you unable to have any opinion, thought, desire or philosophy.
a car seat nut as well! We just switched my 5 year old to a high back booster (she meets height and weight and sits perfectly every time) but I keep going back and forth about the decision!
Also, you guys are great and all, but what is going on?! Team no top sheet?! WHO ARE YOU?? #teamtopsheet4L
So many people think car seats are supposed to go there since they appear to "lock" into the shopping car. Such a common misconception!
Eta, the end of my post was cut off
But my SIL is still using an expired infant bucket seat with my nephew. He was born last December and boy does it bother me!
You anti top sheet people are absolutely insane. You have to wash your top blanket way more often when you don't use a flat sheet. Or if you don't wash it you're just sleeping in dirty covers.
Also my UO from this morning: Turkey bacon is way better than Pork bacon.
And all bacon is delicious.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
My family has asked me when I “plan to turn” DD, my answer is always, “I don’t know, why?” Because seriously, why should I? She climbs in by herself, I just buckle her as I would if she were FF so I know she’s in properly.