Confused?

PrincessHarper · October 2017

Hello! So, I’ve read all the “read this first” forums and posts about what to do what not to.. (this is my second pregnancy and I was on here w the first 2 years ago and it’s so different... ) anyways, there is apparently certain things we talk about on certain days... Does this mean if I have a question about something non-related to that day, I can’t ask? I’m genuinly asking here... I am confused when this board got so formal and stopped becoming a place to just ask legitimate pregnancy questions, as they happened? I’m sure I’m wrong somehow in even asking this but im really confused... TIA!

offtoneverland · October 2017

If you have a question, you can absolutely ask it on the weekly questions thread or somewhere else that it seems to fit (STM check in or symptoms thread or something like that). The board has some structure only because there are soooo many people in the BMBs and if everyone started their own thread for everything, it would be super cluttered and no one would get their questions answered as they would constantly be bumped down the page.
Hope that makes sense! Also, it doesn't look like you've introed yet, so please introduce yourself on the introductions thread so everyone can get to know you!

izza2 · October 2017

Just to add to what @offtoneverland said: Just because a thread is started on one specific day doesn't mean you can't post on it later in the week. The point with having set days to start threads is so that they're not being started twice a week, every few weeks, or having all of the threads started on one day and having a lot of confusion.

mytinc · October 2017

Personally, if I see a question asked somewhere (anywhere) that I feel I can answer, I'll answer it. I'm okay with questions popping up outside the "Questions" thread, because I think that thread will get cluttered with such a large variety of questions that can be asked, if you think about it. A question can be anything including:

"What do you think of this boy/girl name?"
"What symptom do you have?"
"Should I call my doctor?"
"Where the heck do I ask this question?"
"What's the best prenatal?"
"What product do you like the best?"

Yes, we're going to see repeat threads, that's inevitable. But we don't need to be crazies about it. And I'm not sure why only some questions are being directed to a questions thread and others are not.

I agree that the boards have changed over the years, and some of that is likely due to a huge blow up that happened in late 2014 (I don't even recall what the reason was) when there was a huge exit of bumpies and admins from almost every board over to another site. I "think" the board regulation started more then.

Court11152325 · October 2017

@mytinc I was on the December 2015 board and we didn't have this much organization. We bitched when people posted their ultrasounds asking for advice about whether it was a boy or a girl and advice on names. However, I noticed this level of organization starting around February 2016 (so whenever they would be due) or so as I was lurking after dd was born.

Court11152325 · October 2017

@mytinc also I was just reading your signature area and I have a friend who gave birth to a son last friday with HLHS. He had his first surgery yesterday. What a scary time!

dinodna3 · October 2017

@PrincessHarper So what's your question?

mytinc · October 2017

Court11152325, The first few days (weeks, years) are certainly scary. My husband and I were just saying that we can't believe how far DS2 has come and if you didn't know his history you'd never know that he's technically "disabled" or a "make a wish child". He's now 3 years old, just started pre-school and thankfully has not had any developmental delays.

I pray for a smooth recovery for that baby. There is so much they can do for these kids these days. Were they aware of the issue prior to birth? If your friend isn't aware of any resources, let me know and I can point them in the right direction. There's an amazing group called Sisters by Heart that will send them a care package for the first surgery! It's a huge comfort to know you're not alone.

Court11152325 · October 2017

thanks @mytinc! I'll let her know about the Sisters by Heart. They did know prior to birth and have had an outpouring of support by friends and family. I think their GoFundMe had raised around $8k so far. They definitely have their own logistical issues because they have a son who is almost 2. I think balancing both has honestly been the hardest part so far.

Court11152325 · October 2017

@dinodna3 I think her questions were all followed by question marks in her post... and the first two responders answered them nicely.

Ash9614 · October 2017

mytinc said:

Personally, if I see a question asked somewhere (anywhere) that I feel I can answer, I'll answer it. I'm okay with questions popping up outside the "Questions" thread, because I think that thread will get cluttered with such a large variety of questions that can be asked, if you think about it. A question can be anything including:

"What do you think of this boy/girl name?"
"What symptom do you have?"
"Should I call my doctor?"
"Where the heck do I ask this question?"
"What's the best prenatal?"
"What product do you like the best?"

Yes, we're going to see repeat threads, that's inevitable. But we don't need to be crazies about it. And I'm not sure why only some questions are being directed to a questions thread and others are not.

I agree that the boards have changed over the years, and some of that is likely due to a huge blow up that happened in late 2014 (I don't even recall what the reason was) when there was a huge exit of bumpies and admins from almost every board over to another site. I "think" the board regulation started more then.

I agree. I love and appreciate organization but I think we are being a bit rigid. In a minute, we are going to have 10 threads, each with 54,668 pages to scroll through.

mytinc · October 2017

@Court11152325, DS1 was 16 months when DS2 was born, so I understand that completely. DS1 stayed with grandparents the majority of the time during DS2's surgeries. Thankfully DS2 was never inpatient longer than 3 weeks. Also, we were able to have DS1 with us at the Ronald McDonald house for a few visits, which helped.

doxiemoxie212 · October 2017

Ash9614 said:

mytinc said:

Personally, if I see a question asked somewhere (anywhere) that I feel I can answer, I'll answer it. I'm okay with questions popping up outside the "Questions" thread, because I think that thread will get cluttered with such a large variety of questions that can be asked, if you think about it. A question can be anything including:

"What do you think of this boy/girl name?"
"What symptom do you have?"
"Should I call my doctor?"
"Where the heck do I ask this question?"
"What's the best prenatal?"
"What product do you like the best?"

Yes, we're going to see repeat threads, that's inevitable. But we don't need to be crazies about it. And I'm not sure why only some questions are being directed to a questions thread and others are not.

I agree that the boards have changed over the years, and some of that is likely due to a huge blow up that happened in late 2014 (I don't even recall what the reason was) when there was a huge exit of bumpies and admins from almost every board over to another site. I "think" the board regulation started more then.

I agree. I love and appreciate organization but I think we are being a bit rigid. In a minute, we are going to have 10 threads, each with 54,668 pages to scroll through.

So funny you mention this since it's almost time to start new versions of most of the threads.

Also, yes, long threads do make it harder to be an AW, but they also foster community since everyone has to give to get.

krash_ · October 2017

Ash9614 said:

mytinc said:

Personally, if I see a question asked somewhere (anywhere) that I feel I can answer, I'll answer it. I'm okay with questions popping up outside the "Questions" thread, because I think that thread will get cluttered with such a large variety of questions that can be asked, if you think about it. A question can be anything including:

"What do you think of this boy/girl name?"
"What symptom do you have?"
"Should I call my doctor?"
"Where the heck do I ask this question?"
"What's the best prenatal?"
"What product do you like the best?"

Yes, we're going to see repeat threads, that's inevitable. But we don't need to be crazies about it. And I'm not sure why only some questions are being directed to a questions thread and others are not.

I agree that the boards have changed over the years, and some of that is likely due to a huge blow up that happened in late 2014 (I don't even recall what the reason was) when there was a huge exit of bumpies and admins from almost every board over to another site. I "think" the board regulation started more then.

I agree. I love and appreciate organization but I think we are being a bit rigid. In a minute, we are going to have 10 threads, each with 54,668 pages to scroll through.

The problem with questions that pop up outside of the questions thread is if they are A) specific to that person/situation and not something everyone can benefit from and B ) when the thread is titled "need advice" or "help please" because I don't know what that is about. It may be something we can all benefit from a discussion on but people will scroll past it because they don't know what its about.

The fact of the matter is that we are all experiencing pretty much the same thing. So the symptoms thread is repetitive. The questions thread is repetitive. They are pages long by mid week. Maybe we need to take step back before posting something there and ask "is this something new?" "is this something I should ask of my dr?" "is this facilitating in the discussion?"

mytinc · October 2017

@krashke, I'm not disputing that, but I do think it's harder to search a board for answers when in one week a questions thread could have 20 different topics (not to mention inevitable tangents - as happens in most threads). When a thread is appropriately labeled I don't see the harm in it.

Also, instead of just pointing everyone to questions threads, we should teach about how to appropriately use the search function. It's quicker.

llamamama14 · October 2017

mytinc said

@krashke, I'm not disputing that, but I do think it's harder to search a board for answers when in one week a questions thread could have 20 different topics (not to mention inevitable tangents - as happens in most threads). When a thread is appropriately labeled I don't see the harm in it.

Also, instead of just pointing everyone to questions threads, we should teach about how to appropriately use the search function. It's quicker.

This. It also makes the Bump more fun when you can pop on and see what new topics are being discussed.

doxiemoxie212 · October 2017

llamamama14 said:

mytinc said

@krashke, I'm not disputing that, but I do think it's harder to search a board for answers when in one week a questions thread could have 20 different topics (not to mention inevitable tangents - as happens in most threads). When a thread is appropriately labeled I don't see the harm in it.

Also, instead of just pointing everyone to questions threads, we should teach about how to appropriately use the search function. It's quicker.

This. It also makes the Bump more fun when you can pop on and see what new topics are being discussed.

But I think you're missing the point? If you want to foster community, making it easier for people to pop on and off is not the best way. If you just want to have the most people possible, regardless of level of engagement, posting then, uh, I guess so. But I think it's better to have people show a little effort, do the work, build the relationships. #filterthecrazies

llamamama14 · October 2017

I'm thinking more about ease of use for the regulars and better organization overall.

I have no desire to make it easier for the crazies.

Just advocating allowing appropriately labeled topic-specific threads that apply to everyone. (ie Being Social and When to Share the News, Best Prenatal Vitamins, even Flu Shot since those are all topics that apply to everyone.) I'm not advocating for lots of "Help!" "Need advice" type threads. I think I'm mainly saying we should allow some break out threads from the general questions thread. Just my 2 cents.

izza2 · October 2017

I don't know, I'd like to consider myself a "regular" as much as you can be after being pregnant for a week, and I have no issues with how it's set up now.
I'd 100% rather have it this way than have to scroll through 10 threads about morning sickness and what we're craving. I wasn't able to get on mobile yesterday, so I'm catching up today, and keeping it organized means I can go to the threads I want to make sure I catch up on no matter what, and can save the "extras" (i.e.: symptoms) for when I have free time. That's organized. I don't get how changing that would be more organized.

As it is, I've seen a few threads where responses were more to the tune of "can you change the title" so that everyone can participate and use it for their own related questions, versus just being "put this in questions". I'd hardly call that being sticklers or something.
I mean, hell. The one with the person asking about when to tell their work place has some pretty good responses, someone suggested changing the title so we could all respond/ask for advice if needed, and the OP hasn't been on since. Same with this OP. No introductions, no hellos, just literally starting their own threads for help, and so far, disappearing.

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