2nd Trimester

Sonographer's remark

hi. My wife and I have decided not to find out the sex of our baby if possible. I would like t know but my wife doesn't and I respect that.

At our 20 week scan I asked the sonographer (who knew we prefer no to be told) if she herself could already tell if it was boy or girl. 

She said "well I thought I saw SOMETHING". Does that point to it being a boy??!

im interested in your speculation here!

Thank you. 

Re: Sonographer's remark

  • hi. My wife and I have decided not to find out the sex of our baby if possible. I would like t know but my wife doesn't and I respect that.

    At our 20 week scan I asked the sonographer (who knew we prefer no to be told) if she herself could already tell if it was boy or girl. 

    She said "well I thought I saw SOMETHING". Does that point to it being a boy??!

    im interested in your speculation here!

    Thank you. 
    Not necessarily.  I was told (We did not find out the sex) that the sex organs are not carefully studied and there is no note of boy or girl recorded in the report or in the medical file. They are looking for more important stuff like the health of the heart, liver, brain, proper proportions of legs, feet, correct number of fingers and toes, etc.  

    I would take what the tech said and assume that she may have seen the sex, but won't disclose due to wishes expressed.  Just my take on it.

    To be honest, my DH loved being team green.  We didn't have to know the sex of our child to bond through pregnancy.  There were so many ways He got to bond, and knowing the sex never deterred that. He loved being able to announce to the room that we had a girl, and it's one of the most precious moments he has had in his life. If we could have kids again, we would be team green again. 
  • Thank you. That's very interesting. I just thought that if she had seen "something" the. That would be more likely to be a penis than a vagina. 
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  • The "something" could be the penis or it could be the vagina as both have distinguishing characteristics on the ultrasound. By 20 weeks, it should be easy for the sonogrpher to tell, but, as PP said, it's not pertinent medical information, so she didn't need to investigate further to see as you told her you would prefer not to know.
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  • Of course she knows. One of the things they look at specifically is the urinary tract and bladder to make sure it's forming correctly. I expect she was hedging because you said you didn't want to know, but then with that kind of question, it sounds like maybe you do. I wouldn't read anything into it. 

    You all have decided not to find out, so if it were me, I would stop trying to read into something to try to get an idea. We didn't find out. Supposedly, a faster heart rate tends to be a girl. We did have that, I think, but I purposefully didn't look up the ranges for a boy vs. girl because we wanted it to be a surprise. And we did end up having a girl. 
  • Of course she knows. One of the things they look at specifically is the urinary tract and bladder to make sure it's forming correctly. I expect she was hedging because you said you didn't want to know, but then with that kind of question, it sounds like maybe you do. I wouldn't read anything into it. 

    You all have decided not to find out, so if it were me, I would stop trying to read into something to try to get an idea. We didn't find out. Supposedly, a faster heart rate tends to be a girl. We did have that, I think, but I purposefully didn't look up the ranges for a boy vs. girl because we wanted it to be a surprise. And we did end up having a girl. 
    Sorry, but an urinary tract and kidneys are not A penis or vagina.  My cousin said that when they asked about being a boy or girl the radiologist said that she couldn't tell, at that time, and that my cousin could come back and they would check for the sex again, but everything else that they needed for the scan turned out great ( the pictures and measurements she needed).

     So it was up to them, they went back a week later and found out it was a girl, nothing else needed to be done, as it was in the initial scan. So, no it is very possible that the radiologist may not have known boy or girl during the scan.
  • Thank you. I guess I was just wondering if "something" probably would indicate a penis?
  • Of course she knows. One of the things they look at specifically is the urinary tract and bladder to make sure it's forming correctly. I expect she was hedging because you said you didn't want to know, but then with that kind of question, it sounds like maybe you do. I wouldn't read anything into it. 

    You all have decided not to find out, so if it were me, I would stop trying to read into something to try to get an idea. We didn't find out. Supposedly, a faster heart rate tends to be a girl. We did have that, I think, but I purposefully didn't look up the ranges for a boy vs. girl because we wanted it to be a surprise. And we did end up having a girl. 
    Sorry, but an urinary tract and kidneys are not A penis or vagina.  My cousin said that when they asked about being a boy or girl the radiologist said that she couldn't tell, at that time, and that my cousin could come back and they would check for the sex again, but everything else that they needed for the scan turned out great ( the pictures and measurements she needed).

     So it was up to them, they went back a week later and found out it was a girl, nothing else needed to be done, as it was in the initial scan. So, no it is very possible that the radiologist may not have known boy or girl during the scan.
    Well, OK, but this has not been my experience. And while, yes, you could say the penis is not part of the urinary tract, the urethra that runs through it is, and so is quite a bit longer in males. 

    At my ultrasound, the sonographer/radiologist/whatever turned off the big screen while she looked at the urinary tract because she said even untrained people such as my husband and I could be able to tell from that view (we were not finding out). Additionally, I know she specifically looked at the genitals as one of the things along with the heart, brain, stomach, etc. to make sure they were forming correctly. 

    Thank you. I guess I was just wondering if "something" probably would indicate a penis?
    There is no way to know. And if you and your wife decided together to not find out, it seems a little shady to me that you're sort of trying to find out in a roundabout way. I'd be annoyed if my husband and I decided not to find out and he was secretly trying to. 

    I would not get your hopes up either way. We could all say, "yes, definitely means boy," and it may just be the way she phrased it and you could end up with a girl. 
  • I see someone has had the sense of humour bypass! Really, moralising about the.behaviour of people you don't know from behind the cloak of the internet is a little low...

    To attempt to explain, my wife and I really do understand that we are not going to get a definitive answer from what appeared to be a slip of the tongue by the sonographer (i.e. we are not stupid) so we have felt pretty safe speculating about it. There's nothing shady about it. But thanks for the guidance!
  • I see someone has had the sense of humour bypass! Really, moralising about the.behaviour of people you don't know from behind the cloak of the internet is a little low...

    To attempt to explain, my wife and I really do understand that we are not going to get a definitive answer from what appeared to be a slip of the tongue by the sonographer (i.e. we are not stupid) so we have felt pretty safe speculating about it. There's nothing shady about it. But thanks for the guidance!
    This kind of falls in the same realm as people asking us to analyze their ultrasounds when they're team green. We are not ultrasound techs. We were not in the room when your tech said this nebulous phrase. If you want to know the sex, then ask your doctor. If not, don't be offended when people tell you they couldn't possibly know what the ultrasound tech meant when she was trying to honor your request.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • I already knew I'm having girls (genetic test), but at the ultrasound, I got a pretty clear butt-first image with two little legs. I saw something, and it looked all girl to me. 
    Me- 39 (turning 40 in April), TTC for the first time ever (since Jan 2015), low ovarian reserve
    Married 3/14/14 to my wonderful wife, but her sperm count is rather low
    TTC with frozen donor sperm and science

    7 IUIs, 7 BFNs.
    2 IVF attempts, both cancelled and converted to IUI, both BFNs.
    Decided that my tired old ovaries are ready to retire.
    Next step- reciprocal IVF, using my wife's eggs, my uterus!  
    fresh 5 day transfer (2 embryos) 4/17/17- BFP! 
    Identical twins "due" 1/2/17 (but anticipated arrival sometime December)

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    edited July 2017
    I see someone has had the sense of humour bypass! Really, moralising about the.behaviour of people you don't know from behind the cloak of the internet is a little low...

    To attempt to explain, my wife and I really do understand that we are not going to get a definitive answer from what appeared to be a slip of the tongue by the sonographer (i.e. we are not stupid) so we have felt pretty safe speculating about it. There's nothing shady about it. But thanks for the guidance!
    Nothing in your post indictated this was supposed to be humorous. You seemed very serious about it. 

    I'm glad your wife is aware and in on it. We didn't find out and I never tried to speculate because I didn't want to know. So it's a bit surprising to me that your wife would because you said she didn't want to know, which is why I said that. Nothing wrong with it, just surprising to me.

    Also, pretty much everything @meggyme said. 
  • I was not addressing the fact that the forum could not offer me a definitive answer.... of course I knew that.  I would have to be surreally stupid to expect it.  Apart from that word's established racist connotations, use of "shady" is unnecessarily combative and judgemental. 
  • Sounds like a boy. That's usually what's said about penis detection 
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