STM+ Check-In 10/11

sunshineandwhiskey · October 2017

Stole these questions from another BMB

How far along are you?

How old are your other kids?

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?

sunshineandwhiskey · October 2017

How far along are you? 4w 4d

How old are your other kids? 14 month DD

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? The fatigue is realllll and molars can kiss my butt. They have been trying to pop through for what seems like an entire month. I hate giving Motrin all the time too

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I'm excited for DD to have a sibling and I hope they grow to be close. My brothers and I have no relationship, and I really hope my kids will.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? I love that it is tax free but hate that everyoneeee knows everyoneeee haha

PatientlyWaiting10 · October 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey So with you on the molars!! DS has two on the top and I think he's working on two on the bottom! It's been quite the week here. I feel so bad for him!

How far along are you? 6+1

How old are your other kids? 7 year old DD and 16 month DS

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? DH had his mind set that we were done. I'm worried about being outnumbered. I have always said, I don't know how you parents with two under two or two that are close together do it because going from one to two was extremely hard for me. I'm also a little worried about going from 2 to 3 and the fatigue because I'm always tired. Our DD is a phenomenal helper with DS so with another one being added I really don't want her to feel like she's part mom also. I have all kinds of concerns/worries but am super excited at the same time because I figured I'd never be able to convince DH to have more. No convincing here! Just a surprise!

Those are my random thoughts and ramblings for this morning...and that got longer than I was planning.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: As mentioned above, DD is a phenomenal helper and adores her brother. She has said that she wants another sibling so I am excited to hear/see her reaction when we tell her.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? I really love our town. I love that we are small enough to have the small town atmosphere but big enough that we don't know everyone. My least favorite thing is that there aren't many job opportunities in our town. We're a bedroom community and so many of the people drive to a nearby city for work so I don't know a lot of people. I would at least like to know the parents of the kiddos my daughter plays with at school!

But I really do love our town.

dinodna3 · October 2017

How far along are you? 6+2

How old are your other kids? DD is 3, DS is 15m

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? DD is in the "why?" stage and it's exhausting and frustrating. I hate saying "because I said so" all the time but she questions everything. DS is also working on molars and is ultra clingy. Makes it hard to get anything down because he wants to be held but not worn.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: My kids love each other so much, I'm excited to bring another child into their lives.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? I love the city I live in because it is very locally focused. We've got great food and beer (not that I can enjoy right now) everywhere. BUT Florida is hot and humid all.the.time. and I feel like winter is getting shorter and shorter every year.

kbrown2385 · October 2017

How far along are you? 5 weeks 6 days

How old are your other kids? 2.5 year old son

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
I’m already having trouble with my patience and keeping my cool. I’m sure if I wasn’t so tired all the time, that would help, but I’m sure it won’t get any better when the baby is here.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I’m excited to see how da is with the new baby. He already likes to help, so that will be great when the baby is here.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? We are currently in South Carolina and I’m originally from Connecticut. I love that it doesn’t snow here, however, I hate that we basically can’t go outside from June to October because it’s ridiculously hot. I find it weird that I still have my a/c on full blast and it’s in the 80’s at Christmas.

PatientlyWaiting10 · October 2017

@kbrown2385 We turned our furnace on last night...

It was 62 in our house when we got home from work yesterday. If it was just DH and I we could've lasted longer, but figured we better turn it on for the kids.

kbrown2385 · October 2017

@PatientlyWaiting10 I’m so jealous! We’ve lived here 3 years and I miss fall and the cold, blustery days and being able to wear pants and long sleeves without dying from heat exhaustion. We are moving more north soon, so hopefully I can get some of that back.

sunshineandwhiskey · October 2017

@PatientlyWaiting10 Seriously, molars are rough! That is amazing that your DD is such a great helper! I hope the same for mine. And, idk if this helps, but my friends that have 3 kids says the switch from 2 to 3 was easier than 1 to 2. I'm sure everything will be okay

@dinodna3 I despise humidity! Idk how you do it in Florida haha Hopefully the molars pop quick too!

@kbrown2385 I hear ya on patience! I snap so much at my students right now, and i can see myself being short with DD too. I hope second tri brings some energy for both of us!

PatientlyWaiting10 · October 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey Thanks for the reassurance! I sure hope so! I had some PPD/A with DS also so I told DH this go 'round I'm not hesitating. At the first sign of it, I am calling the doctor to talk to them/get some meds.

dinodna3 · October 2017

@PatientlyWaiting10 I feel you on being out numbered. My husband travels for work quite a bit, so I'm on my own during that time. Having the baby on a solid schedule helped me so much those first months of having 2u2.

tepr14 · October 2017

How far along are you?
4 weeks 4 days

How old are your other kids?
DS is 21 months
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
The fatigue is hard. Havent been getting much decent sleep either, and it doesnt help that DS wants to get into bed with us. Its a struggle every night right now.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I am so excited to be pregnant again. Im happy for DS to have a sibling. Im an only child and because we were a military family we moved alot and never lived near family. Now that Im on my own I'm really excited for my children to have siblings and a ton of family around them.
GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?
We just moved into a new place. I love that DS has a room of his own and we now own a washer/dryer. We love San Diego, we have family here and just a few hour drive away from us. Couldnt imagine living anywhere else, there is always something to do.

rnielsen321 · October 2017

How far along are you? - 4w6d

How old are your other kids? DD just turned 2!

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Current challenge is that I am on meds, being a FET, that make me super hot and irritable, my patience has gone out the window. I know it is only temporary... but Oh MAN! Some days the Progesterone just does me in!

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: DD will be under 3 when No.2 arrives. And I am hoping that being closer in age than my Sister and I (7 years) will help them build a stronger sibling relationship. With DH and I being older parents, I want them to have each other for family. DD will be a great help when N0.2 arrives.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? Oooh! We moved in July from the largest city in Canada, to a smaller one, 90 minutes away. And we are thrilled! Still in the honeymoon phase. We are excited to be so close to the farmers market, museum, and in a very kid oriented community. Least favourite thing is DH is still commuting back to his job 90 minutes each way!

PatientlyWaiting10 · October 2017

@rnielsen321 Ugh a 90 minute commute sounds awful!!

Can you remind me what FET means? I know I've read it before, but cannot remember what it means.

bkrahn · October 2017

ugh @sunshineandwhiskey I feel you on the molars! DD has been cutting all 4 of her first molars at the same time

How far along are you?
6w1d

How old are your other kids?
DD is 16 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
I'm just really soaking in every bit of snuggle time with DD right now. I still usually rock her to sleep for her afternoon nap, and I'm not sure I'll be able to do that with another little one around. Makes me a little sad in a way. DD is usually too busy to snuggle, so I gotta take what I can get!

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
This pregnancy has made it farther than my last. My betas are looking good. Today I am pregnant, and that in itself is worth celebrating!

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?
we just moved to a new town a few months ago. We are renovating a house to resell, so we don't plan on being here more than two years. Our neighbours are super awesome, we have never had that before. The roads and sidewalks are awful and make pushing around a stroller a big mess.

marcus7676 · October 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey and @patientlywaiting10 molars suck - - are you dealing with one year molars or two year molars? DS's one-year molars were a pain, but the two year molars are taking FOREVER to come in. It's been about 3 months now and the second one just is coming through.

@kbrown2385 I'm with you on the patience thing. I wish I knew how to stay calm. Where in CT are you from? I was born in Simsbury, but went to high school in Enfield. My family is from the NW corner of the state.

How far along are you? 6w4d

How old are your other kids? DS is 2 (S15)

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Toddlerhood is no joke. DS exhausts me. He really demands both my attention and my H's attention 100% of the time (from both of us). I don't know how we are going to manage him and a baby.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: DS has been big into "babies" lately - looking at pictures, watching videos (mainly of himself). I caught him putting a baby doll to sleep at daycare the other day and it made my heart melt. He is such a sweet and funny boy and I hope he grows into his role of big brother.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? I love seasons. While we haven't had much of a fall this year, the seasons are my favorite. Plus, we have a ton of restaurants and good beer and lots to do. My least favorite is probably the traffic.

PatientlyWaiting10 · October 2017

@marcus7676 My heart melted just reading about your boy and his baby at daycare. Awww!!! That's adorable!! We are working on 1 year molars in our house. The first of the bottom molars. His top ones came in about a month ago and I didn't even know...I was just tickling him one evening and saw them!

kmurdock925 · October 2017

How far along are you? 5+4

How old are your other kids? 15 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? worried about a crying baby waking up my daughter, jealousy, coordinating everything, daughter feeling replaced/not valued...I'm an only child so I have no personal experience to compare to

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I'm excited to snuggle and love on a new squish. This will be out last so I want to really soak it in and be less nervous since it isn't my first.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? Columbus has the perks of a big city (6th biggest in the country) but the affordability of a smaller city. The cost of living is so low comparatively. There are tons of things to do. I dislike all of the grey days- basically as bad (some studies show worse) than Seattle...

marcus7676 · October 2017

@PatientlyWaiting10 I definitely think the bottoms are slower and worse for some reason. I hope they come in quickly for you!

@kmurdock925 I had NO IDEA Columbus was that big!!

kbrown2385 · October 2017

@marcus7676 I was born and raised in Westbrook and my family is still there. I never thought I’d say I miss ct and the cold weather, but I do haha.

marcus7676 · October 2017

@kbrown2385 Even though CT is so small, I had to google Westbrook because I have never heard of it :-)

kmurdock925 · October 2017

marcus7676 - Columbus is MASSIVE- I stand corrected with updated census info though, 14th largest city but 3rd largest populated capital city in the country and 2nd largest in the Midwest behind Chicago. It has headquarters of five corporations in the U.S. Fortune 500: Nationwide Mutual Insurance Company (fortune 100), American Electric Power, L Brands, Big Lots, and Cardinal Health.[25] The food service corporations Wendy's, Donatos Pizza, Bob Evans, Max & Erma's and White Castle and the nationally known companies Red Roof Inn, Rogue Fitness, and Safelite are also based in the metropolitan area. OSU- HUGE research university. The list goes on.

tammy574 · October 2017

How far along are you?
5 weeks today!

How old are your other kids?
6 and 2
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
Mainly am I crazy for pludging back into the baby stage again? My kids are finally getting to better stages and I’m adding more crazy.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
It’s all so sweet to think about. If it sticks Ill have another human in my life. It’s all so amazing.
GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?

Favorite thing in the mellow weather in our part of Oregon and the least favorite thing is that we a couple hours from the coast and if I could change anything it would be to be on the coast!

kbrown2385 · October 2017

@marcus7676 Yeah, no one usually knows where Westbrook is. If anything, people usually know it from the outlets.

sunshineandwhiskey · October 2017

@kmurdock925 I feel like i could've written your check in. Everything you said, I feel

@marcus7676 first year

They are just taking foreverrrrrr

momlyfe29 · October 2017

How far along are you?
6 weeks 3 Days

How old are your other kids?
Baby boy is almost 15 months old

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
Wondering how I’m going to function with a newborn and a toddler. Everytime our son slept we slept in the beginning and I know that’s definitely not going to happen with number 2.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I just love growing our family. I can’t wait to see our son as a big brother.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?

it’s nice living by the beach. We love being coastal and somewhat close to family and friends. But I hate Southern California (I’m born and raised here so I can say that haha) I’d love to live somewhere where there are seasons and close to the coast and it’s not always just 75 and sunny (I know I know I can’t believe I’m complaining about that, but I like cold sweater weather and we rarely get that!)

Court11152325 · October 2017

How far along are you? 6 + 1

How old are your other kids? 21 month old dd

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? DD is getting her 2 year molars and this is affecting her sleep which is affecting my sleep because we bedshare (which I love!). I'm also real real tired and I didn't have these adverse effects during my first pregnancy. We're going to Disney World next weekend and I'm worried I won't be able to enjoy it!

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I'm going through ups and downs. I almost feel like I'm cheating on dd. But I'm also excited for her to be a sibling. And, those newborn baby days suuuuuuuucked. So I'm not looking forward to that.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? Favorite: it never gets too cold where I live. Least favorite: it's hot as balls most of the year.

rnielsen321 · October 2017

@PatientlyWaiting10 FET is a Frozen Embryo Transfer... No 2 is our second time with a successful genetically tested embryo. To do that they need to put them all in a freezer. The upside is, we get to only transfer the ones that genetically are deemed successful. (Full set of Chromosomes, no extras, not too few) We do not know the sex of our embyos, and neither does our Doctor. But we will be finding out.

PatientlyWaiting10 · October 2017

@rnielsen321 Yes, thank you! I knew I had read it somewhere but just couldn't remember. That's awesome that both times have been successful! I imagine it is quite risky and scary!

MoonOverGoldsboro · October 2017

Based on this thread, I am already fearing the molars, guys!

How far along are you? 5w2d or 4w2d, depending on how I calculate.

How old are your other kids? 9 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Honestly not even thinking about having two kids at once right now, haha--I'm mostly worried about getting through this pregnancy, now that I won't be able to spend my weekends constantly napping.

Question about my son, though: Does/did anyone else here have a "late bloomer?" My son has always been a bit of a slowsky, and now at 9 months, he's pretty behind on his gross motor skills (nowhere close to crawling, pulling up on anything, etc.). He was born 5 weeks early, so he's more like 8 months adjusted, but I'm still wondering whether or not to worry. I'm an anxious person by nature, and since becoming a mom, I've had a hard time distinguishing between my "mom gut" and my usual non-productive anxiety. I'm going to talk to his ped at our 9-month appt on Monday, but I think I'm just looking for solidarity, I guess.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I cannot wait to feel kicks again!!!

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? My favorite thing is that it's a good balance of friendly neighborhood and bustling urban center. We live on a quiet street that dead-ends on a park, but we can also hop the train and be downtown in 30 minutes. My least favorite thing about it is probably my husband's commute, which is really sucky.

MoonOverGoldsboro · October 2017

@kmurdock925 This will be our last, too, and I'm already almost feeling sad about the end of the newborn days--and this kid isn't even close to being born yet!

tepr14 · October 2017

@boymama29 I get what you mean, I can get tired of the same weather everyday and especially around this time of year I always wish we get the cooler weather. Rain would even be nice haha. I was seriously thinking about how sleeping will work with a newborn and toddler just yesterday! Kind of nervous for how that will go this time around, DS JUST started sleeping thru the night most days out of the week and this mama is used to having her sleep these days

Miz_Liz · October 2017

How far along are you? 4+6

How old are your other kids? DS is 5 DD is 2

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Just finding time for myself. Some days it feels like I spend the ENTIRE day getting stuff for one, and the the other needs something....repeat....

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: Seeing them interact - most of the time they get along great and they are so adorable together.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live? I love the general area we are in, but not the actual town we are in. The school system here is meh, but I was lucky enough to get DS an amazing school system through school choice. Hoping to move in the relatively near future.

sunshineandwhiskey · October 2017

@MoonOverGoldsboro I think if you have concerns about your DS definitely bring them up with his doc, but my DD always seems "a step behind" too. Our friends have a baby that was born a month later, and he is doing everything the same time DD is if not sooner! I brought it up with her pediatrician,and there wasn't concern at all. And i'm sure there is more to consider since your DS was early as well!

momac1919 · October 2017

How far along are you? 5w6d

How old are your other kids? DD is 17 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
On top of feeling everyone's pain with teething, my DD does not stop moving and bouncing of the walls and getting into everything and I'm kind of concerned about chasing her come the last trimester when it's not so easy to just bend over and scoop her up.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I think just being much more relaxed this time around and kind of knowing what to expect. I had gestational diabetes with my first which just added to the stress of preparing to become a first time mom. I think that having already survived all of that and realizing while it wasn't fun it was manageable, I'm more just ready to roll with the punches this time.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?
I like how affordable Columbus is and how there is quite a bit to do. I didn't move out here until after school and then moved right to the burbs which makes making new friends my age challenging. I'm a Chicago girl at heart and definitely miss my family and friends back there.

MoonOverGoldsboro · October 2017

@momac1919 Ugh, I feel like making new friends as an adult is really hard in general! Since moving to our current neighborhood, I have made more casual friends--either based around my son (the "mom friends") or my dog (the "dog friends")--but I haven't made a new, truly close friend in like, 3 years? It's tough!

dinodna3 · October 2017

@momac1919 We moved to our current city when I was 34w pregnant with my first. I've had a really hard time finding friends too.

mytinc · October 2017

How far along are you?
5 weeks, 4 days

How old are your other kids?
DS1 - 4.5 years
DS2 - 3 years

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
Current Challenge - Potty training DS2 isn't going as well as it did with DS1. He's getting there, but it's SLOW.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
We've always been undecided on if we wanted 2 or 3 kids. We stopped preventing in March and left it up to fate. We're both thrilled for one more child.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?
I love living in my home town. My parents are only a few blocks away and I love having my kids grow up knowing them. In-laws are only an hour away. I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't near family.

jsl82 · October 2017

How far along are you?
6W 1D

How old are your other kids?
9.5 months DD

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
Nothing but challenges and concerns about being a STM right now. 1) I'm still nursing and it hurts to bad. She's still under 1 years old, so I am pumping at work (also painful) and feeding her a few times a day. I think I'm going to ween her down to morning and night after her birthday. 2) She's in her crib still- do we buy another crib or move her to a bed before June? How old should she be? I can't believe I am making my baby grow up so much sooner than she should have to. 3) She is quite the aggressive lover. She doesn't understand "nice" yet and I'm worried about her hitting the baby and in general playing too rough. There are more concerns but those are the ones I worry about the most right now.

DD is currently working on walking and talking and is teething like crazy. She is also getting molars and canines (upper canines and lower molars). Luckily the worst seems to be behind us right now.... but I'm sure a new crop of teeth are waiting to come through.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I hope they will be close and best friends.

GTKY: what's you're favorite and least favorite thing about the place you live?
Favorite is our neighbors. They are all very nice and have a bunch of little kids too. Least Favorite is the school district. We need to move out before DD starts school and into a better district.

MoonOverGoldsboro · October 2017

@jsl82 I am also mulling over the crib situation. We really didn't plan on buying another crib, but 18 months seems really early to move our son to a toddler bed! And it also just seems like a lot of change at once. I have a feeling we're going to be getting another crib...I'm hoping we may be able to borrow one. Would really love to hear anyone else's experience with this!

mytinc · October 2017

jsl82 said:

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
Nothing but challenges and concerns about being a STM right now. 1) I'm still nursing and it hurts to bad. She's still under 1 years old, so I am pumping at work (also painful) and feeding her a few times a day. I think I'm going to ween her down to morning and night after her birthday. 2) She's in her crib still- do we buy another crib or move her to a bed before June? How old should she be? I can't believe I am making my baby grow up so much sooner than she should have to. 3) She is quite the aggressive lover. She doesn't understand "nice" yet and I'm worried about her hitting the baby and in general playing too rough. There are more concerns but those are the ones I worry about the most right now.

My boys are 16 months apart, so I remember thinking the same thing about moving the older one to a toddler bed so I could reuse the crib for DS2. For us, DS2 was in a pack n play in our room until 5 months old. We didn't make the decision about the toddler bed for DS1 until DS2 was ready to go to his own room. At that point we didn't feel DS1 was ready for a toddler bed (21 months old), so we ended up getting a second crib.

kmurdock925 · October 2017

I think it is all personal preference/what is best for your own kid. My DD had her 15 month check up last night so I asked my pedi about the crib conundrum. DD will be 23 months when new babe is born and my pedi said she will be plenty old enough and she put her oldest in a queen size bed at 2 when her other daughter was born.

Like mentioned, new baby will likely be in your room for a bit buying some time.

I've had the same internal battle about the glider. It makes sense to move the glider to the new baby's room for obvious reasons but I still like to rock DD and read books in it but don't want to drop a bunch of $$ on another for an equal one to be in the new nursery. I'm thinking on moving the super cushy current one to the new room and getting a less expensive less bulky/cushy one for DD's room?? I'm also getting ahead of myself.

I also feel like I read somewhere a while ago that large changes like new beds, potty training, etc. shouldn't be done in the 2-4 months surrounding the birth of the new baby so your older one doesn't associate the two and feel replaced...could be wrong on that but that sounds familiar.

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