Working Moms

New here? Please read: daycare- by home or work?

justtodayjusttoday member
edited June 2014 in Working Moms
Hello!  First post on this board. I am not pregnant yet but hoping to be soon. So, I know I'm jumping the gun a bit but I'm a planner by nature. My H and I had mom's that stayed home, and we'll be the first of our friends to have a baby, so some of the logistics of working parenthood are tripping me up.  As I start to research day cares, I just wanted some opinions. Do you all think it is better to use a daycare that is close to home or close to work?   Both seem equally easy/difficult, so I'm wondering what I'm missing. Any thoughts?

Re: New here? Please read: daycare- by home or work?

  • We chose close to my work as we work in opposite directions but I can drive or bike to work while DH can only take public transit (which takes 80-90 minutes) and I have flexible hours while he doesn't. It does sometimes suck being the only one responsible for pick up and drop off, but since I'm the only one with the flexibility in transit and work schedule, it is what it is.
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  • We chose close to home. That allows both of us to handle daycare duties.

    And I'm thst mom who sends him on my rare days off so I'd rather not drive out towards work.

    There are other convenient reasons I chose close to home.

    If I breastfed, I may have considered close to work so I could nurse at lunch.

  • We choose a home daycare by our house. That way we can alternate with pick-ups and drop-offs. It's also nice because we have some family nearby who have had to help us out in a bind if my husband was already working late and I was stuck in bad traffic. I have over an hour commute each way---and DS also doesn't always love long car rides, so it works out better for him to not have to sit in horrible traffic with me some days. I sometimes wish he was with me---but he is much happier being with the other kids and playing than he would be cooped up in the backseat. 

    On another note---if you ever have a day you can work from home, are sick or even have a day off having daycare close to home is a plus. If I ever do have days off--I generally will always keep DS home with me. But there has been a time or two where I took him to daycare for 2-3 hours just so I could get all my cleaning and laundry done faster to be able to spend more quality time with him the rest of the day. 
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  • ccamccam member

    Our DC is close to home.  It worked out better for our situation since we split drop offs/pick ups and work in different directions.  Plus, my commute home can be pretty long depending on traffic and weather.  That would make for a long commute with DS if he went to DC close to work!

    It also will work out better when #2 comes.  DS will continue to go to DC while I'm home on leave so having him 5 minutes away will be much easier. 

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  • We chose close to home. 

    1. We live in the far suburbs of a major metropolitan area.  I'm glad I don't have to drive DS in crazy commuter traffic and he's only in the car for 15 minutes.

    2. Daycare is close enough that on a day off, its no trouble to take him to DC.

    3. It allows equal sharing of drop off/pick up duties with DH.

    Also, another thing I don't see mentioned is that our daycare does school drop off for our district.  So when DS starts school, our routine will essentially not change.  He'll go to DC before and after school until he's 12.
                                                                                              BFP #1 3/2/12, T born 11/7/12
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  • mb314mb314 member
    Ideally, childcare by your house is best.  That makes it easier to share drop off/and pick up duties.  And if there is a day that you are staying home but sending your kid to daycare, then it's much more convenient. 

    That said, I would pick the facility that is the best for you.  Our daycare is by my work because we did not find a daycare we liked by our house.  I do 95% of the drop off/pick ups, but because I love the daycare, I'm okay with the trade off. 
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  • VORVOR member
    Home.  That way we could both deal w/ drop off/ pick up and on days that I'm home (whether WFH, sick, or just want the day off), I can still easily take him. 
  • By home means that you & DH will likely split the drop off/pick up duties. By work means the parent whose work is closest to the daycare will have to do both on a daily basis - I've done both for most of my time as a working mom, and DH & I found our balance by DH being in charge of getting the child ready in the morning, packing their bag for the day (a bigger task when you've got bottles, less so when they're older) and getting dinner started most nights since he would get home before us. It was probably a pretty fair distribution of work, but still I felt a bit taxed with double the commute time each way. 

    Other factors to consider: do either of you travel for work, even 1-2 a year? Do you work in opposite ends of town? Are you likely to stay in the same jobs (or work generally in the same part of town, ie - downtown) for the next couple of years? If you live in the burbs and commute in, then there's also a going to be big price difference between childcare near home vs near work. 
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  • thanks for the thoughts everyone!  You've given me a lot to think about. My H will be a medical student or medical resident for the early years of Future Baby's life, so he'll have pretty erratic/inconsistent hours.  So, I'm planning on being in charge of both drop-off and pick up every day and if H is available to do it sometimes it would be nice, but not something I'm counting on. Near home may be best so he can help when he is available, rather than having to drive out of his way. I'll be weighing my options!  thanks ladies!
  • ss265ss265 member
    Something else to consider if you choose DC close to work is the type of commute you have. I commute 30 miles to work one way and 90% of that time is on high speed highways. I was in a multi car accident a few months ago and I was totally fine (I was the last car hit in a 4 car pile up) but was stuck on the highway for more than an hour waiting for the cops, filing all the paperwork etc. It would have sucked if DS had been with me and that accident made me realize that I didn't want to take the risk of having him in the car with me every day when I made that drive.

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  • Another vote for daycare close to home. Some other things I didn't see mentioned: (1) Sometimes DH will forget to bring the baby's bottles, or something important, and have to go back home to get them. It would be a much bigger impact if daycare wasn't 5 minutes away. (2) DS2 was a car seat screamer. Meaning for the first year or two of his life, he screamed the majority of the time he was in the car. Even the 5 minute drive from daycare was rough. I would have changed daycares if we had to drive further. (3) My oldest is starting school in the fall. Several kids he has grown up with are going to the same public elementary school with him because we all live in the same area near the daycare. We've gotten to know them and their parents from birthday parties over the years. DS1 will go to the before and after school programs at the same place, and his old teacher will drive the daycare bus that takes him to and from his new school. And DH and I will have 1 drop off and pickup because all the kids will be at the same place. None of this occurred to me when I was choosing a center for my infant, but I love how it worked out.
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  • I have a fairly long commute, but I want to say that you should choose your DC on quality not completely on convenience. I think if you find the one you want and it's not completely out of the way, it should work. Not that if you find one convenient and it kind of meets your standards. .. 

    Go visit as many daycares and in-home centers as you can find time for. Rank each of them on this:
    1. Gut feeling
    2. How much love/attention each child gets (see how they respond to crying or snotty children while you are touring. If you see a crying kid and they are tailking to you and ignoring them, walk away)
    3. Safety
    4. Management (are they attentive and passionate or "I just work here" type of people)
    5. Reviews/reputation 
    6. Would drop off and pick up realistically work into your commute? 

    My son hates being in the car so we are close to home. There would be more options by my work but no way do I want to drive him around on the freeway 2 hrs a day. Also, his school is amazing (montessori). good luck!
  • GroverCloverGroverClover member
    edited June 2014
    We chose closer to work.  My theory is that if something happens at daycare, I want to be as close to my child as possible; I want to be able to get to my child ASAP. Interestingly, we also chose a pediatrician who is closer to work (it's good when caring for a sick child or meeting at doctor's office, but a hassle for well care checks).  Good luck and good idea to plan ahead. 
  • BeevolBeevol member
    DH walks to work (it's like 1/4 of a mile) and I work about 10 miles from home, so we chose to look at locations close to our home which happens to be close to DH's work too (though I do most of the pick ups/drop offs because I drive). Part of this was because we liked the center a lot and part of it was because I don't know if I'll be working here in 5 years but I will definitely live in the same house in 5 years. 

    Tour a bunch of places that are near home and on your routes to work and see what feels best.
  • When I lived in MA, I had a long (hour+) commute. Prior to DD starting kindergarten we had her close to work and it worked out really well. After she was in KG, she had to be closer to home because of after school care and getting to her if she was sick was a pain. Getting there to pick her up on time was next to impossible because the center closed at 6 and I worked 9-5. Based on my experience, I'd pick close to work every single time.
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  • Another thing to consider is that most daycares close at 6:30pm sharp. If you get stuck at work for crazy project then you have more time to get to baby if its close to work. Also, some have a breastfeeding room so you could go visit on your lunch break here and there. When they are older, I reccomend close to home because they could have the same friends and go to after school care in the same place. Also check the state department of family services reports and inspections before selecting one in Texas its: https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/
    Hopefully they gave something like that where you live. It made our decision a lot easier to see that a child was left on a playground at one we were considering by our house.
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  • I chose close to home.. your job can change and your home is most likely won't change.
  • nickiclnickicl member
    edited July 2014
    I'll just share a different perspective. 

    When our DS was born we lived in the suburbs and worked downtown. (Approx 40 min commute in traffic.). We selected a daycare very close to the house. It was fine. Sometimes we struggled to make it I through traffic in time for pickup. Sometimes I wished I could visit more. 

    Then, my husband accepted a new job which moved our family to another larger city about 5 hours from home. Given our relocation timeline, the fact that we planned to rent for a time and the scarce availability for daycare openings, we found a center we liked and enrolled before we signed on for the apartment. However, our intention was to keep everything within city limits. We wound up about 1.5 mi from daycare and 4.5 from work (with public transit available as well) so the daycare was pretty accessible from either work or home. It was awesome. 

    A year ago returned to our original hometown, we wanted to maintain as much of that city life and proximity as possible. We chose a daycare near our work downtown and I'm so happy we did. At this age, his class has activities and events that my husband and/or myself can attend because we are cole by. We can also do lunch. Since it is downtown, there are also many options to grab dinner nearby right after school if we'd like and his class takes field trips in the summer walking or taking local buses to nearby library, museums, etc. in addition, we decided to but a house in a neighborhood about 4 miles from downtown which also makes home fairly close to school. 

    In short, 5 years ago I had no intention of moving from my current home but some opportunities came along and I'm so glad that they did and now I have the best of both worlds.

    In response, to the original question, I would suggest looking at both and think about your current schedules, commutes, and how you envision that working long term.  

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  • We chose close to home because jobs can change.
  • We chose close to home fro a few different reasons. One is that we loved the daycare by our house. Two your home will most likely not change locations but work can. Three is that I didnt want to be taking my child on busy roads during rush hour traffic. Four is that if I am not working a day and still need to put her in daycare it is not out of my way.
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  • I am new to this board, but since I have 2 kids and tried both ways with daycares close to home and close to work. It is convenient when it us close to work just you are always in the office. It is getting hard when the weather is bad and you can work from home. There is only one person who can do pick ups and drop offs. Even though my DH works much farther and has no flexibility like I do, he can at least make it to the events that they have, when they were close to my work, that was not possible.
    Just think of what's important and where you will be spending more time. What type of flexibility your work might allow.
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  • JackieB15 said:

    We chose one close to home since my husband and I work in opposite directions. This way we both alternate pick ups and drop off.

    This. Plus I have a 45 minute commute and certainly don't want the kids in the car all of that extra time.

     

  • We chose close to home because then we could have family help us out if we needed and there were times when I had day off and it was nice to be able to put him in for a few hours so i could get errands done and then spend time with him.  
  • I was just stopping by and thought I would add a different perspective. My DH and I chose close to my work because we live 30 min from town (and my job) and if a snow storm comes in during winter (which is quite frequent) I don't have to drive 30 min in bad weather to pick up our kids. Instead I can pick them up and go spend the night at my in laws house and know that my kids aren't on the road or stick at daycare. Here they will put barriers up and close the roads down a couple times a winter.
  • I work close to work and daycare...
    But if I had to choose close to work would be better
  • my commute is 20-30 minutes usually to work in the morning it gets longer though in the evening when I'm leaving work. As there aren't really nurseries right next to home and anything "close" but not super close to my home would mean a detour from my commute route and getting stuck in crazy traffic. I chose a nursery that is a 2 mins drive from work, this way if any emergency happens or if I'm anxious I can get to her in 0 time and it doesn't add any extra time to our morning commute.

    If I move to work somewhere else or move where I live I will always choose closer to work, it makes life easier thinking that she is 2 minutes away from me all day long
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  • Have you thought about live in Childrcare an AuPair? 
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  • We have had my daughter close to home..this was nice but 2nd time around my Hubby and I have decided closer to work, when baby #2 is born. Makes it easy to stop by during lunch time! :) hope this helps!
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  • Our neighbor across the street has a home daycare, so I had been able to see how she operates prior to getting pregnant. That makes me feel better about leaving my infant with her. Plus my hubby and I don't work near each other and there will be days he will pick her up instead of me. Near home just worked out better for us.
  • We chose close to home since we work different days/schedules. My h is able to drop off every day and pick up early on the days he doesn't work.
  • I think its definitely important to consider proximity to both parents AND doctors. My first day care was by my home and it was even further from my doctors office than my work was, so i'd have to make this giant loop if i had to pick him up at the daycare and then goto the doctor. I wound up putting him by my work, because i was a single mom after his dad passed away. 
    That being said, with this one, we're sticking close to home, as it the center will be close to the school my step daughter attends, and that way dad and big brother can help if he needs to be picked up or dropped off.
  • Hi, first time posting on this board but on kid #3. Our kids all go/went to a school in our old town, about 25 min from my house but on my way to work. We moved 3 years ago and continued this commute. Now that I'm on maternity leave and still taking my 2nd child there 3 times per week I wish we had found a closer place. We didn't want to switch her when we moved, but I'm hesitant to put DD3 there. I travel frequently and my DH will not spend 2 hours in the car driving her to school everyday. Long story short, wishing the school was closer to home.
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  • With my first, we did daycare close to work for me. While out of the way for my husband to help, he was able to do drop off/pick up if I needed him to because it was only an extra 15 minutes for him. For our second, we are looking for a daycare close to home. Driving in traffic with a child for no good reason every day is no fun. When DS was little, he would fall asleep on the ride home and that messed up his evening mood and bedtime.
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  • MrvlMrvl member
    We're choosing close to home and my work.. but thats because my work is nearby. I would primarily focus of gettong good daycare.. if that means drivng 15 min more that would be worth it. And maybe close to work instead of home.. when there's something wrong during the day you'll get there faster
  • Depending on your work schedule and the daycare schedule, I have found that having DD at a daycare close to work made it easier. This way I was still able to work my full 40 hours without getting late fees for more than that per week. It also helps a lot to think that if something were to happen you can get to them faster.
  • My daycare is like 10-15 mins from my work.  So if he had to be picked up for any reason I am able to do so.  Also, I love having that extra time with him even if it is in the car and me taking him to his infants class :)
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