@kmalls I'm someone who doesn't like the board organization. That doesn't mean I hate the board. I stay because I want to. Is there a goal to get those of us who don't like the organization off the board?
Because this has been discussed and gone over many, many times. If anyone really wants to keep discussing it, I certainly can't stop them - but you're beating a dead horse. Like @kmalls said, if you don't like the TB-style organization then nothing is keeping you here.
Oh man, if this is going to devolve into yet another "I hate board organization!" conversation, I gotta step out. It matters, @irenejean, because the topic is tired and extensively played out. If you guys don't like how things are, cool, that's your prerogative. But there's a community culture here that's existed for a long time and I just don't see the point of bitching about it every week.
@lund conplaining about drive-bys also happens all the time, it doesn't change, and it's not something I feel the need to complain about, I just ignore it.
@kmalls - I met an amazing group of women on TB and have become IRL friends with them. I find the women here to be more "real" than on some of the other communities and I like that. I was hoping to find that again. I'm still active in my Knottie month group - we moved over to FB, but we'be been together for 7 years now. It's about the people. The way the people police the one off questions on this board is childish and unnecessary, IMO, and personally, I know I am less active here because of the way the board is set up. I get overwhelmed by the crazy long threads. I find the shorter ones much easier to follow.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me. You made my wedding day complete.
@kmalls I'm someone who doesn't like the board organization. That doesn't mean I hate the board. I stay because I want to. Is there a goal to get those of us who don't like the organization off the board?
@irenejean of course there's no goal to get you out -- but why continuously complain about the same topic when it's clearly not going to change? It makes absolutely no sense to me.
@kmalls I'm someone who doesn't like the board organization. That doesn't mean I hate the board. I stay because I want to. Is there a goal to get those of us who don't like the organization off the board?
No, my goal is just to save you guys some typing. You're more than welcome to stay. It's simply tiresome to hear people complain about the same stuff over and over and over (and over) again when it the board organization is not going to change. This literally happens on every BMB - 3-4 people don't like the organization and whine about it for a few months.
But, like I said, I can't and won't stop you from talking about - just thought you should know that you can save your breath.
@kmalls, I've complained about it once, then I later pointed out to someone who complained that another person was being "controlling" in expressing an opinion she didn't like that what is actually controlling on these boards is the board organization. It's clear to me that it's not going to change, but when someone new chimes in with the same complaint, I will show a little support.
@lund conplaining about drive-bys also happens all the time, it doesn't change, and it's not something I feel the need to complain about, I just ignore it.
Complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. We address drive-bys to discourage them and to maintain board organization.
And, cool, you don't complain about drive-bys, but you do feel the need to complain about board organization
My confession: I love reading all the drama here (and on June 18), but I'll probably never (purposefully) engage in it. Mostly because I'm afraid of getting my feelings hurt. I'm super non-confrontational IRL too, which is something I'd like to work on.
@lund conplaining about drive-bys also happens all the time, it doesn't change, and it's not something I feel the need to complain about, I just ignore it.
Complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. We address drive-bys to discourage them and to maintain board organization.
And, cool, you don't complain about drive-bys, but you do feel the need to complain about board organization
I realize complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. My point is the complaining happens ad nauseum, the complaining doesn't change the fact that drive-bys will happen, and it's easy enough to ignore the complaining. I guess why is it such a big deal if others complain about board organization ad nauseum?
@lund conplaining about drive-bys also happens all the time, it doesn't change, and it's not something I feel the need to complain about, I just ignore it.
Complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. We address drive-bys to discourage them and to maintain board organization.
And, cool, you don't complain about drive-bys, but you do feel the need to complain about board organization
I realize complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. My point is the complaining happens ad nauseum, the complaining doesn't change the fact that drive-bys will happen, and it's easy enough to ignore the complaining. I guess why is it such a big deal if others complain about board organization ad nauseum?
Redirecting drive-bys decreases their frequency. Just look at the boards who don't discourage or redirect them: drive-by city.
But if you're just here to defend complaining, then I can't help you.
@lund, as you stated, redirecting and complaining are two different things. I'm not talking about the redirecting, I'm talking about the complaining. Also, a good portion of these threads are complaining. Some of us complain about board organization, while others complain about people who complain about board organization. It's fine and I don't get why people get so worked up over hormonal pregnant women who complain.
My thing is, if you feel you have something to ask or contribute that doesn't fit well into one of the "weekly" threads, then just start your own thread! The worst thing that could happen is you might get some snark, which is certainly something we grown up women can deal with (right?) At least it's doing something about a situation that you dislike rather than just complaining about it endlessly.
@irenejean started a good thread today and got a lot of involvement and contribution; not one person suggested that it should be in the "weekly questions" thread. If you admire the drive-bys posting endlessly random questions, then be one! As others have said, you do you, because I'm certainly not going to stop doing me.
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My confession: I love reading all the drama here (and on June 18), but I'll probably never (purposefully) engage in it. Mostly because I'm afraid of getting my feelings hurt. I'm super non-confrontational IRL too, which is something I'd like to work on.
@keeksie84 its really interesting you say that. I was very much like you when I joined my first BMB, and I found that experience literally life-changing. I'm now much more comfortable standing up for myself IRL, and I'm extremely careful about saying exactly what I mean, both online and elsewhere. That's why I love TB!
Something I kind of like is that we are organized and I know exactly where to go stick my comments. I also get a feel for which threads I'd prefer to read when I'm on my lunch break and don't have too much time. However, I also like the one-off posts too. Either because they are clueless (which, it feels like we've had quite a few of those), or because they genuinely have a topic that interests everyone, and it's easy to follow along with. A good mix of both is what appeals to me, but I can see how it's hard to do that without it leaning one way or another.
I'm always tempted to ask the OP to rename the weekly thread "mostly focused on ___" once it's further along, so I remember which thread had what topic that was predominant. Or "UO 9/5 - hating on fantasy" and then I remember what it was mostly about and where to go later when I want to dig it up.
@lund conplaining about drive-bys also happens all the time, it doesn't change, and it's not something I feel the need to complain about, I just ignore it.
Complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. We address drive-bys to discourage them and to maintain board organization.
And, cool, you don't complain about drive-bys, but you do feel the need to complain about board organization
I realize complaining and redirecting drive-bys are two completely different things. My point is the complaining happens ad nauseum, the complaining doesn't change the fact that drive-bys will happen, and it's easy enough to ignore the complaining. I guess why is it such a big deal if others complain about board organization ad nauseum?
Maybe I am miss understanding what you are saying but most of the time complaining about drive-bys occurs because members who are trying to reinforce board organization get scolded when redirecting randos. That's when the complaining about drive-bys and board organization gets set off again. So it's basically just a vicious cycle. Bottom line is, this is how the organization is on every Bump BMB. No one personally decided how it was going to be. Some of us like it and some of us don't but that's the culture. I hope everyone decides to stay and we can continue to support one another through these 9+ months but it is what it is when it comes to the organization.
@lund, as you stated, redirecting and complaining are two different things. I'm not talking about the redirecting, I'm talking about the complaining. Also, a good portion of these threads are complaining. Some of us complain about board organization, while others complain about people who complain about board organization. It's fine and I don't get why people get so worked up over hormonal pregnant women who complain.
Ok, so we've established that people complain. I, for one, am certainly not worked up (this is actually making my last hour at work go by much faster!). Your first comment on this post was asking why it mattered, and I explained.
@JJMNO1616 I'm totally fine with people complaining about drive-bys. I think my poorly stated point is that there's going to be a lot of complaining on this board and trying to shut down complaining or complaining about people complaining seems pointless. I think what makes a board interesting is diversity of thoughts and lets face it, most the drama stems from people's complaints, and lets face it again, I think people like when the drama picks up.
@JJMNO1616 I'm totally fine with people complaining about drive-bys. I think my poorly stated point is that there's going to be a lot of complaining on this board and trying to shut down complaining or complaining about people complaining seems pointless. I think what makes a board interesting is diversity of thoughts and lets face it, most the drama stems from people's complaints, and lets face it again, I think people like when the drama picks up.
I can agree with the bolded.
So, initially when you asked me why it mattered you were simply saying "let them hash it out again if they want to"? Am I interpreting that correctly?
@lund yes, and I get the circular argument here (people complaining about people complaining about people complaining..). What can I say, I guess I just felt like complaining.
@lund yes, and I get the circular argument here (people complaining about people complaining about people complaining..). What can I say, I guess I just felt like complaining.
Fair enough.
Like I said, certainly has helped my afternoon go by more quickly!
Wooooww. I’ve been a regular contributor to this board. I have offered support when needed. I cannot contribute every day but I do contribute often, so apologies for missing YESTERDAY’S multiple page thread. My last BMB WAS like that: more posts, less threads that had 3 or more pages because those were usually rare and juicy, and a frequently changing first page. I never said I wanted to leave, but holy crap, you went there. Thanks. I get it.
Edit: I posted that and then a ton of new comments showed up so I see it was less heated by the time I got in there. I’m cool. We’re good.
Married: May 26, 2012 Eden: February 8, 2016 Ivy: April 3, 2018 Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
My confession: I love reading all the drama here (and on June 18), but I'll probably never (purposefully) engage in it. Mostly because I'm afraid of getting my feelings hurt. I'm super non-confrontational IRL too, which is something I'd like to work on.
I totally could have written this (I've been in a total funk since yesterday and reading all this fun has lifted my mood a bit). @kmalls That's awesome that TB has helped you feel more comfortable expressing yourself here and IRL. Maybe that will works for us too
My FFFC is that I’ve been secretly buying chocolate and I’ve been sneak eating it when DH isn’t around. He totally would not care that I’m eating it and would maybe make a joke but I don’t want to share and I don’t want to hear any jokes about my damn KitKat bars.
Oh oh and another confession— my toddler has never had candy or cookies/cake etc (because I’m crunchy and since I obviously have such a sweet tooth I’m trying to make sure he doesn’t have one) but I take him trick or treating just to eat his candy and it’s one of my favorite parenting perks so far.
Maybe we are a bunch of boring b*tches if this is what we end up arguing about nearly every week - the language that is posted at the top of each page as part of standard board culture on every single BMB, and we're debating it like we're drafting the constitution or inventing the wheel something.
Surely we can do better. It's time to up our game.
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@lindsye that’s how I feel about it. Like jeez are we that uninteresting that we have to repeat the same silly debate over and over. I’m bored. I need more interesting convos! Like jeez I’ll take 100 questions about yeast infections over this!
I found out today that baby boy #3 is on the way. I can't help but feel disappointed that I'll never have a daughter (we decided we were stopping at three no matter the gender of this baby). I feel awful that I'm not excited to have another boy. I know I love him and he will become my world and I'm blessed to have my boys but right it just sucks.
@MrsF1017 i totally hear what you are saying. I have 2 daughters and LOVE them. The excitement we felt giving dd1 a sister was unreal. But i really am hoping for a boy this time around. This is our last baby as well so regardless of gender we are finished w expanding our family.
Also if i have one more head of curly freaking hair to tame i will SCREAM. It's no joke (btw i have curly hair and i love my girls hair but damn it's a pain).
@saralee797-2 I was raised in a family that never had sweets and snacks around, AND I have a big sweet tooth. You are right that not having candy around doesn't prevent a sweet tooth, BUT it did bless me with incredibly good teeth ( childhood foundation of no tooth decay is a huge gift that lasts a lifetime). It also blessed me with a lifetime habit of not having snacks around the house. It just doesn't occur to me to stock my fridge with ice cream, and the cupboard with chips and cookies (unless I'm pregnant).
So, I am raising my kid the same way. She got one peice of candy last Halloween, and after I priated a little, I took the rest to work. I will be doing the same again this year, and next year when she is old enough to realize what I'm doing, I will do a candy exchange with the dentist so she doesn't feel cheated.
@beach_mama totally with you on the hair thing. My girls don't even have curly hair but fixing two heads of it every day takes serious time! If baby #4 is a boy, I will be disappointed in some ways - my first was a girl, and if I'm completely honest I'd like one more girl - but at least if it's a boy, hair will not be a thing.
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@saralee797-2 totally get what you’re saying but he’s only 2 and I feel like right now I can steer clear of sugar completely and it’s setting a decent foundation. Obviously when he’s 5 or 6 it’ll be different but for now I don’t feel like I’m depriving him or creating a forbidden food because he has no clue what he’s even missing. I just tell him it’s “yuck.” Eventually he’ll be at birthday parties, etc where there’s going to be cake and I’ll have to give in on it but I personally don’t think this young it’s necessary or appropriate. We don’t do juice either.
My Mom didn’t let us have soda growing up and said it was gross and I actually never had it until I was in high school and thought it was gross, still do... so sometimes it can work!
Agree with @ngolimento if it can at least just be a special treat later on and not something kept in the house... that would be a win. That’s also our plan with Halloween candy when he’s older too.
I didn’t have my first cavity until college as well and despite my sweet tooth (especially when pregnant), I haven’t had to struggle with weight issues like my mom has. She says it’s why she was strict with us about sugary foods.
Interesting perspective! @ngolimento @julzy We were never allowed to have sugary cereals or other certain baked goods in our house growing up and I felt like it didn't deter me from making those kinds of choices later. That's why I asked.
Re: FFFC - 10/6
less active here because of the way the board is set up. I get overwhelmed by the crazy long threads. I find the shorter ones much easier to follow.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
But, like I said, I can't and won't stop you from talking about - just thought you should know that you can save your breath.
And, cool, you don't complain about drive-bys, but you do feel the need to complain about board organization
But if you're just here to defend complaining, then I can't help you.
@irenejean started a good thread today and got a lot of involvement and contribution; not one person suggested that it should be in the "weekly questions" thread. If you admire the drive-bys posting endlessly random questions, then be one! As others have said, you do you, because I'm certainly not going to stop doing me.
However, I also like the one-off posts too. Either because they are clueless (which, it feels like we've had quite a few of those), or because they genuinely have a topic that interests everyone, and it's easy to follow along with. A good mix of both is what appeals to me, but I can see how it's hard to do that without it leaning one way or another.
I'm always tempted to ask the OP to rename the weekly thread "mostly focused on ___" once it's further along, so I remember which thread had what topic that was predominant. Or "UO 9/5 - hating on fantasy"
So, initially when you asked me why it mattered you were simply saying "let them hash it out again if they want to"? Am I interpreting that correctly?
Like I said, certainly has helped my afternoon go by more quickly!
Edit: I posted that and then a ton of new comments showed up so I see it was less heated by the time I got in there. I’m cool. We’re good.
Eden: February 8, 2016
Ivy: April 3, 2018
Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
Oh oh and another confession— my toddler has never had candy or cookies/cake etc (because I’m crunchy and since I obviously have such a sweet tooth I’m trying to make sure he doesn’t have one) but I take him trick or treating just to eat his candy and it’s one of my favorite parenting perks so far.
Surely we can do better. It's time to up our game.
Also if i have one more head of curly freaking hair to tame i will SCREAM. It's no joke
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d99dc" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>
So, I am raising my kid the same way. She got one peice of candy last Halloween, and after I priated a little, I took the rest to work. I will be doing the same again this year, and next year when she is old enough to realize what I'm doing, I will do a candy exchange with the dentist so she doesn't feel cheated.
My Mom didn’t let us have soda growing up and said it was gross and I actually never had it until I was in high school and thought it was gross, still do... so sometimes it can work!
Agree with @ngolimento if it can at least just be a special treat later on and not something kept in the house... that would be a win. That’s also our plan with Halloween candy when he’s older too.
I didn’t have my first cavity until college as well and despite my sweet tooth (especially when pregnant), I haven’t had to struggle with weight issues like my mom has. She says it’s why she was strict with us about sugary foods.
@julzy We were never allowed to have sugary cereals or other certain baked goods in our house growing up and I felt like it didn't deter me from making those kinds of choices later. That's why I asked.