Intro--tell me if I belong? — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

Intro--tell me if I belong?

Hi all, I don't know which board I belong on right now. I had 2 confirmed MC (and one suspected one--it was very early and I never tested) in December 2014 at about 7 weeks and in August 2015 at about 5.5 weeks (the suspected was June 2015). My doctor did some blood tests on myself and my husband, and he has an abnormality that can cause first-trimester MC. Right after we got these results I found out I was pregnant again...I was fully expecting another MC and was just waiting for it to happen, and then had a successful 8w ultrasound and now have a beautiful 17 month old baby.

We are just starting to TTC again. It's so scary. I just got my period today so I know I'm not pregnant with month #1 here (we weren't trying hard, so it's not surprising, although I'm still disappointed...but also relieved, because as much as I want another baby the BFP means about 4 weeks of waiting for either a spontaneous MC or the ultrasound which could be good or bad news). I figure this board might understand the desperate want of the BFP coupled with the fear of if it will be viable or not. 

Most people TTC are just waiting for the BFP, but to me that's just the first step. I can't go to the infertility boards because my history has no problem getting pregnant, it's staying pregnant that's a problem. And don't think I'm supposed to mention the MC on the regular TTC board. But I'm not sure if this board is the right place because I had a baby between the loss and now--is this alright?  
hdaley

Re: Intro--tell me if I belong?

  • MandyMost I certainly am not the voice for our board, but welcome and I'm very sorry for your losses. There are several members here that have lo's as well as losses. Most of us here are having issues TTCAL so you are in good company there, and you're absolutely not alone in the fear of a BFP resulting in another loss. I personally just had that thought this month as I was repeatedly POAS because I'm BSC like that. The excitement that it might get that double line mixed with the absolute panic of the potential loss that could follow is terrifying, and understandable. You're not at all alone there. Read the Newbie thread so you're aware of the TW's for this board. I hope that you have a successful BFP and take-home baby in no time. There are TWW and WTO boards that we flip between throughout our cycle as well as a weekly GTKY thread you should feel free to join in on.
  • @MandyMost sorry for your losses but welcome 
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  • Welcome @MandyMost and I'm sorry you have to be here. TTC is one thing, but TTC after one or more losses is a whole other animal and my thought is that you'd probably relate more to us than to non-loss women TTC, so I'd be happy to have you here to support you in your journey.

    *TW children mentioned*

    I have two living children and have had 2 losses in the last 11 months while undergoing fertility treatments again TTC #3. There are a handful of other women on this board who have one or more living children as well, so you are not alone. 
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • Sorry for your losses. I agree with Tosh24. A loss changes you and changes the way you approach ttc and any future pregnancies. Those feelings don't go away after having a baby.

    *TW children mentioned*

    I have two living children and suffered a loss in July. 

    *End TW*

    Welcome and I hope your stay here is short!
    Ivy: July 2010  |  Stella: Dec 2012  |  BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020

  • Ditto to what everyone said above. You’re certainly welcome here, though I’m sorry you have to join us. I just had a loss in late July/early August, and this group has been so helpful over the past few months because I know everyone here understands what I’m going through. Even if we’re really all a bunch of internet strangers, there’s comfort in being able to talk through some of what’s going on with people who have been or are going though the same thing as you. 

    *TW - child mentioned*

    I have one living son who is just over 18 months old now. I’ve been TTC number 2 since December of last year, and had a loss in late July.

    *end TW*

    You’re certainly in good company here, so welcome. 
  • I'm sorry you are here with us but welcome to the board. We all have our struggles and every situation is different but yes, I believe there will be a few ladies on here that can relate to the same fears you are having. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one on this board that getting pg isn't necessarily the problem, it's staying pg. I know that if and when I see my next BFP, sadly I'll be more scared to death than excited. 
  • Welcome. Sorry for your losses. I think I agree with many ladies here who suggested that when you get next bfp you should just enjoy every single day of being pregnant. At least try!
  • Welcome and sorry for your losses. I am SUPER new here but have found that everyone has their own struggles and different stories, but are supportive regardless!

    **TW**

    I have a child and lost a child very shortly after birth. Not a typical story (thankfully) by any means but find that the feeling expressed by these ladies often mirror my own, despite different reasons for the feelings.

    **End TW**
  • Sorry for your loss. Welcome to a great group of ladies! It is so hard to go through all of this but it is great to have people who understand. 
  • Welcome and sorry for your losses. I hope you can move into a BMB soon. I haven't been here long but having other people to talk to who have the same hopes and fears and frustrations is really helpful.

    TW children mentioned


    I have a 3 year old and an 18 month old. We've been ttc since January and have had 2 losses in that time, in March and September. 
  • Welcome to this board and sorry for your losses. I think this is exactly the place for you. As you can see there are a lot of us going through similar things. It definitely changes you.

    *TW* 
    I have a 2yo son. We started trying last year and I have had 3 miscarriages since. We're just getting off the bench since this Summer, so I too am going through the wanting a BFP so bad, but terrified that I will have to go through this again. 
  • Thanks all! I'll plan to stick around. Sometimes it just seems to help so much to get things off your chest, or be able to talk about all the silly details that no one in real life that's not also TTC wants to talk about. :smile:
  • 40momma said:
    I'm sorry you are here with us but welcome to the board. We all have our struggles and every situation is different but yes, I believe there will be a few ladies on here that can relate to the same fears you are having. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one on this board that getting pg isn't necessarily the problem, it's staying pg. I know that if and when I see my next BFP, sadly I'll be more scared to death than excited. 
    I'm sorry you are suffering from these issues and feel this way as well, but I'm glad I'm not alone!
  • Welcome. I read your post and wanted to let you know that continuous early MC is actually a form of infertility, and an RE may be able to help you. There can be a ton of causes for it... abnormal eggs, blood clotting disorders, low progesterone, etc. You did carry one child to term, unassissted I assume, so that's a good thing, bit it may be worth it to do a consult with an RE. Best of luck!

    tosh24
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