Anxious and nervous about TTC #2?

mrsmtothek · August 2017

Hi everyone

I'm new here--just getting my feet wet again with thebump as my DH and I are starting to think about baby numero dos. My son is 17 months, and we have had this month bookmarked for a very long time for when we would "remove the goalie" as they say, haha

Well, we jumped the gun a couple weeks ago out of impulse and I'm seriously starting to feel bouts of panic and anxiety swell over me. We have discussed at length wanting to have two children close in age, having a big family, etc--but for whatever reason I'm starting to break out in a cold sweat thinking about the idea of being pregnant again. Having our lives flip upside down and backwards, again. Time has flown by so damn quickly since LO was first born, and I can't believe we're here again--part of me wants to just shut it down for a few more months and just enjoy our lives together. SO many emotions and thoughts running through my head and its making me second, third, and fourth guess our logic and reasoning for trying again at this point in time.

Anyone else been in the same boat?? Am I crazy? Is it normal to feel this way when TTC #2?

Image: https://68.media.tumblr.com/1d7fcabb0cd18acf8cde355f9bf0c8cb/tumblr_nd22q35z6d1shimj5o1_400.gif

glitzandglitter · August 2017

I'm currently TTC #4. But I think the feelings you are describing are completely normal. Adding a baby no matter what number you are on makes you nervous about how things will change/be when they arrive

KFrob · August 2017

We're just starting the journey for number two and I feel very much the same way. I absolutely love my relationship with DD. I'm super scared to rock the boat or change the dynamic. But I also want to give her a sibling, want to be pregnant again, and not want to regret not going for #2. I expect to have panic every so often during the process and especially after #2 is born and we're in the throws of the newborn phase.

dreamscapes_ · August 2017

We haven't even started on #1 yet, but I feel like everyone feels like that when considering adding to the family.

lifesabeach85 · August 2017

KFrob said:

We're just starting the journey for number two and I feel very much the same way. I absolutely love my relationship with DD. I'm super scared to rock the boat or change the dynamic. But I also want to give her a sibling, want to be pregnant again, and not want to regret not going for #2. I expect to have panic every so often during the process and especially after #2 is born and we're in the throws of the newborn phase.

@kfrob, same!

My DD has just turned 2, and we waited until just recently to TTC again because we really weren't ready. The transition to parenthood was overwhelming for DH and especially me, and I am still nervous about how I'm going to take care of a newborn again when I also have a toddler to run after. When I start to get anxious about it, I think about all the reasons why I love having sisters, or the things I remember liking about the newborn stage. I think it's completely normal to have a whole range of emotions about TTC and adding to your family. If anyone said they didn't feel that way I would actually be quite surprised. If you really do want to wait a few more months though, there is no harm in that!

Either way welcome to BOTB!

mrsmtothek · August 2017

Thanks ladies

So good to know I'm not alone! Guess we'll see what happens this month

diaphena · August 2017

@mrsmtothek Welcome! Glad to have you here. I'm with @dreamscapes_ on this one, no kids yet and as much as I want them, it's daunting! Fingers crossed for you this month.

lalala2004 · August 2017

I can relate. DS is 16 months and still a baby in many ways, but he would also change a lot in 9 months! So I try not to worry about it. I was fortunate to have an easy first pregnancy and delivery, so that's part of why I have no qualms about doing it again. The newborn phase was rough, but now that I've BTDT, I feel like the biggest challenge will actually be keeping up with a toddler while having a newborn! In many ways my son wears me out more now than he ever did back then! (He still doesn't sleep great, so there's that.)

There are a lot of things to weigh out, it's just weighing all of your concerns and desires. For me, my desire for another baby outweighs it all.

dukestar5 · August 2017

@mrsmtothek. I think it is both a scary and exciting time. You all now have a good routine going with one and the thought of change is hard, but it will be good too and you can do it! My first two are close and they get along so well. I remember feeling that anxious feeling when I first found out (I never got my period back, but got pregnant while wearing my first). Good luck to you!

little_bren · September 2017

I totally was nervous. It's nerve wracking going from 0 to 1 as well. The whole "life will never be the same" thing. I also felt sad and guilty that we would be dividing our time and love instead of giving it all to DD. I would ask DH if he felt these things and he said no lol. I don't really feel these things now TTC #3. What you are feeling is totally normal.

spring2630 · September 2017

We just started trying for 2 also. Our son will be 2 in early December and I think it's interesting, the whole infant/newborn phase is a blur to me. I remember it was *hard* (reflux, didn't sleep through the night until 13 months, cranky from the reflux) but I don't remember the feeling of exhaustion, if that makes sense. I do occasionally feel sad about sharing my attention/the family change but I think it'll just be another adjustment period like the first time. It's scary and exciting all over again!

CecilB93 · September 2017

@Spring2630 I understand the sharing attention thing! I have a 19 month old and he definitely does not like to share me right now! I've heard from a lot of moms that going from 1 to 2 was the hardest adjustment for them, so I've been pretty nervous about TFAS! The one thing I'm not looking forward to again is pumping at work

I think part of it was it was hard for me to find time because I was a teller at a bank, meaning we all rely on each other. It'll definitely be easier this time around since I'm in more of an independent position where my coworkers will survive without me for 15-20 mins.

Good luck!

spring2630 · September 2017

CecilB93 said:

@Spring2630 I understand the sharing attention thing! I have a 19 month old and he definitely does not like to share me right now! I've heard from a lot of moms that going from 1 to 2 was the hardest adjustment for them, so I've been pretty nervous about TFAS! The one thing I'm not looking forward to again is pumping at work I think part of it was it was hard for me to find time because I was a teller at a bank, meaning we all rely on each other. It'll definitely be easier this time around since I'm in more of an independent position where my coworkers will survive without me for 15-20 mins.

Good luck!

More power to you mama! I left my office job when W got here. Not completely for the nursing issue of course, but I was the only woman at a startup tech company-there was no way I would've been able to keep up pumping comfortably. Continued breastfeeding/pumping while working in an office is a whole other challenge to the newborn phase.

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