Thanks for the support @eggplantface, @magnolia305, and @clc515. I think people would interact so much better if people put a little thought into what they say before saying it.
@chucksmom15 that is SO inappropriate. I'm not sure how I would react to someone touching me without my permission. I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't wrap my head around people like that....who wants to touch a stranger at all, anyway?!
It was just as inappropriate as what your coworker said to you!
A month ago a coworker i barely know asked out of the blue at a meeting , without even a hello mind you, "are you pregnant yet?" I wasnt telling anyone at work yet so I gave my canned response "its in the works".
Today i see her for first time since then and she goes OMG I heard you're pregnant why did you tell me no but then soon after you told somebody else yes!
I did point out that I didn't technically say no, and that I was waiting for some doctors appointments before Spreading the News. However: A. I really shouldn't have to justify myself B. Especially because B I don't know you!
And then she went on about other personal stuff I didnt tell her like how its sad my dad isnt around anymore and her daughter went thru the same thing. Ummm okay? Thanks but SMH.
I was at a family wedding this weekend, and it was a nonstop comment-a-thon which was super fun. The worst was at the actual wedding I was wearing gold flats with my dress and this woman at the bar was like (pointing at my shoes) "you did it right with those shoes" so I say "thank you" and she says " so like 7, 8 months?" and I say "20 weeks" and she looks shocked and says" oh second child" and I'm like "no first" and she just makes a surprised face and walks away. Not super terrible but I had already been feeling huge that night. Also she fought some girl for the bouquet and it turned out she was already married.... Also right after that my dad asked me to dance because they were playing our father daughter song from my wedding and said " your a lot wider than last time" .
@MrsJ2410 People are so rude! I have a big family wedding this weekend and I’m 18 weeks with my first and I’m really not showing much and that seems to be all people want to talk about. I’m kind of dreading having the same conversation over and over with everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re showing like crazy or carrying small, people just love to comment on the size of your belly! I get it to a certain extent, but come on can’t they think of anything else to talk to us about??
@MrsJ2410 People are so rude! I have a big family wedding this weekend and I’m 18 weeks with my first and I’m really not showing much and that seems to be all people want to talk about. I’m kind of dreading having the same conversation over and over with everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re showing like crazy or carrying small, people just love to comment on the size of your belly! I get it to a certain extent, but come on can’t they think of anything else to talk to us about??
oooh yeah, that will happen. It's true, like there is NOTHING else to ask me besides "how are you feeling". I also had people tell DH that it was time for me to go to bed when it got late or I yawned or something, its pretty brutal, esp if it's a lot of people you haven't seen in awhile. Good luck!!!
@MrsJ2410 People are so rude! I have a big family wedding this weekend and I’m 18 weeks with my first and I’m really not showing much and that seems to be all people want to talk about. I’m kind of dreading having the same conversation over and over with everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re showing like crazy or carrying small, people just love to comment on the size of your belly! I get it to a certain extent, but come on can’t they think of anything else to talk to us about??
I'm beginning to think I am going to skip public gatherings all together. Sorry you had a rough night @MrsJ2410
I'm with you! We have to go to a big open house at my in-laws' this weekend. I'll be 20 weeks with my first and we are just starting to tell people. I am dreading the same things. I told my husband I need to make sure I have a plate of food in each hand at all times so I don't punch someone if they try to touch my belly.
@MrsJ2410 People are so rude! I have a big family wedding this weekend and I’m 18 weeks with my first and I’m really not showing much and that seems to be all people want to talk about. I’m kind of dreading having the same conversation over and over with everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re showing like crazy or carrying small, people just love to comment on the size of your belly! I get it to a certain extent, but come on can’t they think of anything else to talk to us about??
oooh yeah, that will happen. It's true, like there is NOTHING else to ask me besides "how are you feeling". I also had people tell DH that it was time for me to go to bed when it got late or I yawned or something, its pretty brutal, esp if it's a lot of people you haven't seen in awhile. Good luck!!!
Yes, because you're no longer a human being capable of making your own decisions. You're an incubator who must be tended to by your husband at all times. More *eye roll*.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
This woman in my office who I'm mediocre about told a co-worker that she was concerned for me bc I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and my arms must be cold. 1) It's 90 degrees outside 2) I am adult and I know if I am cold 3) If my arms are cold I know what a jacket is
This woman in my office who I'm mediocre about told a co-worker that she was concerned for me bc I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and my arms must be cold. 1) It's 90 degrees outside 2) I am adult and I know if I am cold 3) If my arms are cold I know what a jacket is
That is crazy! I have been running so hot recently. The other day it was 58 degrees and raining. I went to the post office in a tank top. Everyone else had jackets and umbrellas, I got a few looks. Oh well. People need to mind their own business. It is 90 degrees out and you are an adult! They would be lucky if I was wearing any clothes at all.
This woman in my office who I'm mediocre about told a co-worker that she was concerned for me bc I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and my arms must be cold. 1) It's 90 degrees outside 2) I am adult and I know if I am cold 3) If my arms are cold I know what a jacket is
That is crazy! I have been running so hot recently. The other day it was 58 degrees and raining. I went to the post office in a tank top. Everyone else had jackets and umbrellas, I got a few looks. Oh well. People need to mind their own business. It is 90 degrees out and you are an adult! They would be lucky if I was wearing any clothes at all.
I've told people in my office to stop commenting on the temperature to me or asking if it's too hot or too cold. I'm pregnant. It's always too frakking hot.
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I work in employee training. Last week I taught a class and addressed the elephant in the room (my belly) very casually... told them you might get more breaks than you are used to because I have a child on my bladder. People laughed, but quite a few came up to me later to ask how far along i was and said the following in response to me being 18w at the time: "Wow, you still have a long way to go!" "Only 18 weeks?" "Are you sure there's only 1 in there?" And other variations on my size being big for my pregnancy.
This is my second pregnancy. I lost a ton of weight after DS was born (50lbs) and 30 was put on within 3 months after he was born -i didn't leave the couch. I'm about halfway through my pregnancy, and I'm not even at the weight I started when I first got pregnant with DS. I can still pull on my pre-pregnancy pants (even if i can't button them anymore). I'm not concerned about my size or weight in the slightest. But those comments are just so insensitive. As other posters have said, "isn't there anything else you can ask me about??"
I work in employee training. Last week I taught a class and addressed the elephant in the room (my belly) very casually... told them you might get more breaks than you are used to because I have a child on my bladder. People laughed, but quite a few came up to me later to ask how far along i was and said the following in response to me being 18w at the time: "Wow, you still have a long way to go!" "Only 18 weeks?" "Are you sure there's only 1 in there?" And other variations on my size being big for my pregnancy.
This is my second pregnancy. I lost a ton of weight after DS was born (50lbs) and 30 was put on within 3 months after he was born -i didn't leave the couch. I'm about halfway through my pregnancy, and I'm not even at the weight I started when I first got pregnant with DS. I can still pull on my pre-pregnancy pants (even if i can't button them anymore). I'm not concerned about my size or weight in the slightest. But those comments are just so insensitive. As other posters have said, "isn't there anything else you can ask me about??"
My MIL has never talked to me about this pregnancy yet SO told him we were expecting but she seemed not to like the news (
Again...why can't people just be happy for people? No matter how they feel can't they just pretend and be polite????
This. Do you know how often I pretend to care about shit I don't care about? Its a skill I learned a long time ago about the same time I was learning to be a decent human being.
@sweetgirlamaris That is awful! Whether she likes the news or not it's still her grandbaby! You don't need the negativity in your life! Surround yourself with those around you that truly care about you!
My MIL has never talked to me about this pregnancy yet SO told him we were expecting but she seemed not to like the news (
Again...why can't people just be happy for people? No matter how they feel can't they just pretend and be polite????
This. Do you know how often I pretend to care about shit I don't care about? Its a skill I learned a long time ago about the same time I was learning to be a decent human being.
How do you guys do it? Today I experienced the weight comments. My dads side of the family meets for coffee once a week and as I was walking into Starbucks decides to say "what are you doing carrying a watermelon in there?" I literally lost my cool and told him it was not appropriate nor appreciated. Not even two hours later at the park where we met the rest of family my grandma who had been in Starbucks has the audacity to ask if I brought fat lady clothes!! Again lost my cool and told her how it wasn't nice to make comments on a person's weight let alone when they are pregnant. I seriously don't understand why people especially family think it's okay.
Went to a big open house at my IL's last night. Just prior to the event, we gave the IL's the ok to share the news with their friends. By the time we got there, the news had spread, but there was some mix up along the way and everyone thought that my BIL and his husband were getting a surrogate, not that I was pregnant. Instead of congratulating us, people were saying that they heard the great news about my BILs. Once everything got straightened out, a friend of my MIL congratulated DH and her husband said, "Yeah, because that's just what the world needs...more people."
Went to a big open house at my IL's last night. Just prior to the event, we gave the IL's the ok to share the news with their friends. By the time we got there, the news had spread, but there was some mix up along the way and everyone thought that my BIL and his husband were getting a surrogate, not that I was pregnant. Instead of congratulating us, people were saying that they heard the great news about my BILs. Once everything got straightened out, a friend of my MIL congratulated DH and her husband said, "Yeah, because that's just what the world needs...more people."
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DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@gymmonkey95 I seriously don't know why people see the need to make any comment about another persons weight ever!! Especially in pregnancy! No woman, let alone a pregnant woman wants to hear those comments!! I live far away from my family and I really don't hear any size comments from my friends so I've been lucky. I know at Christmas time my dads side of the family will have some stupid remark about my size. They are just like that!! I never know what to say so I just smile. So good for you for sticking up for yourself!!!
@babybro218 some people should just never be allowed to speak!
The only person whos allowed to comment on my size is my MIL for this reason and this reason only: when we were talking about coming up for Christmas she said "Oh honey you're probably going to be so big and miserable I'm going to make sure the recliner is fixed so you can just sit and rest with your feet up & your husband can wait on you. Which my son should be doing anyway." (I love my MIL. I also keep her supplied with wine so I'm her favorite. Lol)
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DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Went to a big open house at my IL's last night. Just prior to the event, we gave the IL's the ok to share the news with their friends. By the time we got there, the news had spread, but there was some mix up along the way and everyone thought that my BIL and his husband were getting a surrogate, not that I was pregnant. Instead of congratulating us, people were saying that they heard the great news about my BILs. Once everything got straightened out, a friend of my MIL congratulated DH and her husband said, "Yeah, because that's just what the world needs...more people."
He realizes he is also a person right? What makes him think he is more important? Insert major eye role.
@SquirrelsRWatching I hate the "are you sure there is only one in there?" Comment!! With my first, I was at a parade feeliing a bit jealous of my husband's skinny little co worker when her aunt asked me when I was due. Then said "oh really? That far from now? Are you sure it isn't twins?". I cried the whole way home! To make matters worse, I'd failed my glucose test that day and my friends/family had been asking me if I think I have gestational diabetes and that's why the baby was measuring ahead
I'm annoyed because DH has commented a few times when I complained about how DD was acting (she will be 2 this month), "if it's hard now, how are you going to handle it with two?". Ughh, just let me vent! I know 2 will be hard and reminding me of that when I'm stressed doesn't help. And also makes me start doubting myself...which I do not need!
At about 32 weeks with DD the cart boy at Kroger asked me when my babies were due. I said oh it's just one and mid March. He said oh I thought it must be twins because you're really big! Our Kroger hires a lot of special needs people so I just laughed it off and said I know right! I cried in my car after that for a while though.
Im 5 feet tall and have NO waste. I'm already huge with this baby and I'm dreading the comments.
When we told the ILs MIL said "Congratulations, I can't wait for LadyMillil to get fat"
A coworker told me I was "so lucky" to get to see the baby so much because I have to go for my 6th ultrasound soon and the standard here is just 1 ultrasound unless something is wrong...Yeah, I'm lucky that I needed all these extra ultrasounds to confirm that my baby is actually okay. That's lucky and not at all stressful *eyeroll*
@LadyMillil I can commiserate. I've had the same comments about the amount of ultrasounds we have had so far.
Every time we have one it is so stressful and takes 2 hours or more to measure both babies.
And then I get the lovely "oh it must be so nice to have two babies for the price of one." Yeah...that's not how it works. Not even close. It's actually more expensive.
@LadyMillil I can commiserate. I've had the same comments about the amount of ultrasounds we have had so far.
Every time we have one it is so stressful and takes 2 hours or more to measure both babies.
And then I get the lovely "oh it must be so nice to have two babies for the price of one." Yeah...that's not how it works. Not even close. It's actually more expensive.
As mom to 11 year old twins, I hate the two for the price of one comment! Nope, hasn't happened yet. They don't even share clothes. And every form I fill out, I do twice. That one drives me crazy. Back to school paperwork takes forever.
Proof that my students have more sense than some of the adults I work with... Student: Miss, can I ask you a question? Me: Of course. Student: It might sound rude. Me: Then maybe you should think of another way to ask it. Student: But I really want to know. But it's going to sound rude. Me: Then I would wait to ask your question until you can think of a way to ask it so it doesn't sound rude. Student goes to her seat. Another student comes up to her and says something that I can't hear. Student 1 to Student 2: Because you just don't ask a woman those things!
My coworker, when I told him I was pregnant: "Congratulations! Or is it...congratulations??" With this gesture like it was a mistake. I said "Maybe if I were 20, but at 37 it's safe to say I wanted this." He's all "you never know!" And I'm thinking "you can still read your audience better."
Have gotten this reaction a few times from people at work.
Re: Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says
Today i see her for first time since then and she goes OMG I heard you're pregnant why did you tell me no but then soon after you told somebody else yes!
I did point out that I didn't technically say no, and that I was waiting for some doctors appointments before Spreading the News. However:
A. I really shouldn't have to justify myself
B. Especially because B I don't know you!
And then she went on about other personal stuff I didnt tell her like how its sad my dad isnt around anymore and her daughter went thru the same thing. Ummm okay? Thanks but SMH.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
"Wow, you still have a long way to go!"
"Only 18 weeks?"
"Are you sure there's only 1 in there?"
And other variations on my size being big for my pregnancy.
This is my second pregnancy. I lost a ton of weight after DS was born (50lbs) and 30 was put on within 3 months after he was born -i didn't leave the couch.
I'm about halfway through my pregnancy, and I'm not even at the weight I started when I first got pregnant with DS. I can still pull on my pre-pregnancy pants (even if i can't button them anymore). I'm not concerned about my size or weight in the slightest. But those comments are just so insensitive. As other posters have said, "isn't there anything else you can ask me about??"
DS 2/17/15
BFP 6/12/17
EDD 2/18/17
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I'm sorry @sweetgirlamaris
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@babybro218 some people should just never be allowed to speak!
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
I'm annoyed because DH has commented a few times when I complained about how DD was acting (she will be 2 this month), "if it's hard now, how are you going to handle it with two?". Ughh, just let me vent! I know 2 will be hard and reminding me of that when I'm stressed doesn't help. And also makes me start doubting myself...which I do not need!
Im 5 feet tall and have NO waste. I'm already huge with this baby and I'm dreading the comments.
A coworker told me I was "so lucky" to get to see the baby so much because I have to go for my 6th ultrasound soon and the standard here is just 1 ultrasound unless something is wrong...Yeah, I'm lucky that I needed all these extra ultrasounds to confirm that my baby is actually okay. That's lucky and not at all stressful *eyeroll*
Every time we have one it is so stressful and takes 2 hours or more to measure both babies.
And then I get the lovely "oh it must be so nice to have two babies for the price of one." Yeah...that's not how it works. Not even close. It's actually more expensive.
Student: Miss, can I ask you a question?
Me: Of course.
Student: It might sound rude.
Me: Then maybe you should think of another way to ask it.
Student: But I really want to know. But it's going to sound rude.
Me: Then I would wait to ask your question until you can think of a way to ask it so it doesn't sound rude.
Student goes to her seat. Another student comes up to her and says something that I can't hear.
Student 1 to Student 2: Because you just don't ask a woman those things!
”Am I allowed to say Congrats?” Duh. Of course.
I never know how to reply.