Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
lifesabeach85
member
Re: Weekly Chat 9/18
What are you dreading?
Talking to my boss about his expectations for when I start working remotely. AFAIK, he has no replacement for me. I really hope he does not expect that I will complete all of my responsibilities working 1/2 the time. Plus, there are a lot of things I print/scan and I do not plan on having to buy a printer to be able to do those things at home.
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week?
Nothing specifically. Maybe get back to eating better and drinking more water - the last 2 weeks I have been very VERY bad!
Random thoughts?
We met online!! OkCupid to be exact. Met 2.5 years ago, married 10 days ago!!
What are you dreading? My problem pee cat that I posted about a few weeks ago needs to go to the vet for her second set of xrays to see if the kidney stones she has are dissolving with a new diet. I can't afford this cat anymore...
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? Cleaning out DD's drawers
Random thoughts? nothing
@KFrob I'm sorry about your cat, hopefully this will be the last of vet visits for problems.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Nothing comes to mind honestly. Pretty standard week.
What are you dreading?
DH is crazy stressed because of an impossible work deadline and so I'm really dreading his grouchiness that goes with that.
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week?
Eating well and restarting up my at home workout routine.
Random thoughts?
We met in a small group at church. Were friends and in that care group for 3 years before we started dating. We were married 1 year and 3 weeks after our first date. DS was here 1.5 years after that.
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
@KFrob sorry about your cat! Hopefully he gets better soon and on the cheap. I feel ya on family events, it can be a big to do and eat up the whole day
@kindbytealikat sorry that everything is stressful right now! Yeah I am way too much of a control freak to do grocery delivery. Also, I went to the store both saturday and sunday and guess what I have like five items on my list TODAY that I managed to miss. So I dont think delivery could keep up with this hot mess.
What are you dreading? Just a general complaint that DDs terrible twos have come on in full force and I am losing my mind. Like two weeks ago I was like I love this age why is everyone complaining and now its like such a production to get her to do anything and tantrum after tantrum
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? I have like a bajillion people to call - scheduling appointments, repair men, planning a pumpkin patch trip, buying Thanksgiving plane tickets (sooooo $$$$ now that DD needs her own seat) just random stuff on my to do list!
Random thoughts? not today!
@lifesabeach85 Mmmmmm a "long stretch of normalcy." Love that. Far, far too rare and yet so key to the health of both you and your wallet. GL knocking out all the appointments and other to-dos!
What are you dreading? Traveling for another wedding this weekend. Where I know no-one other than the bride and one of her bridesmaids. And DH isn't coming because football. So heyyyy bartender!
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? Get back into an a.m. walking routine. It stays dark so late in the mornings now I've been letting myself off the hook, but no more. Our pupper comes home in just two weeks and I need to be ready for him with a routine!
Random thoughts? Nope! Other than that I'm feeling surprisingly chill about this TWW. After all the waiting to TTC, just having things started feels like a win enough for this cycle. I may feel totally differently tomorrow but, for now, I'm good.
@KFrob sorry about your cat
@kindbytealikat sorry DH is stressed, hopefully it won't be too bad!
@lifesabeach85 how sweet! Sometimes I hate the technology we have today, it really takes away from the experience of a lot of things, like dating! Then again...DH and I had a long distance relationship while I was at my school and he at his. I would have died without being able to FaceTime him every night lol
General pregnancy/kids TW for the rest of this post, mostly brief mentions nothing detailed.
Looking forward to: I'm going for a tattoo consult tomorrow for my sister and I to get matching tattoos! Hoping to get them done in Oct before I start TTC. We had planned to get them done two years ago, but I ended up getting pregnant and couldn't. Then Wednesday I get to cheer with my old HS for homecoming! It's going to be interesting
Dreading: having to drive for the wedding. The last month has been nothing but traveling for my BILs wedding and then reception (two different cities and weekends), so I'm ready for a weekend of nothing to do!!
Goals: like kindbytealikat, I need to eat healthier and get into a workout routine. I'm now heavier than my heaviest point during my pregnancy with DS, so that sucks...
Random: nothing I can think of
GTKY: DH and I met in 2011 working together at Sonic. We didn't start dating until 2014, almost exactly 3 years after meeting. He says he was waiting on me because I was always dating someone new when I came back during summer break. Finally, I was single and a coworker asked what I thought of him and I said, "Oh I'd totally date Seth! I've always had a crush on him!" Then he invited me to hang out with him and his friends at Hot Country Nights because I had no friends in town. Everyone kept saying it was a date and made me all nervous, even though I knew I was right and it wasn't a date. The girls then told him I was upset it wasn't a date (not true, I knew it wasn't), so he asked me out on a date for that Tuesday. And the rest is history
DS2 due 12/12/18
@KFrob Have fun with the Plated! We tried Blue Apron and it wasn't really the right fit for us. Hopefully the stones are gone for the cat! The potential vet bills are one of the reasons we don't have any pets right now. Your "how we met" story is cute!
@kindbytealikat Is the deadline supposed to be impossible, or has it just worked out that way? I'm sorry to hear that either way, though. We've never tried grocery delivery. I'm particular about things, especially produce, so I'd rather pick it up myself.
@lifesabeach85 Hopefully the twos will calm down soon! How long do they tend to stretch out, on average? (I obviously have no clue) That's awesome that you guys actually met in person!
@emiliadkay Jeez, how many weddings is that for you this year? How did you guys do on the decathalon when you started dating?
@CecilB93 What sort of tattoo are you guys going to get? That's really cool! I hope that the weekend is a good one, all things considered.
What are you looking forward to this week? Not much that I can think of, to be honest. DH is getting that huge check on Thursday. We're hoping to go to the apartment complex we like so we can get on the wait list for next year.
What are you dreading? I have to make an appointment for yet another specialist. I'm also about to start AF, judging by the spotting, and the cramps always make my back pain even worse. And, of course, there's more activity in the Atlantic >.<
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? We still haven't gotten our place put back together after the hurricane. I'd like to get that taken care of. The laundry is going and about half done, but we need to finish it.
Random thoughts? We're watching a movie I haven't seen in years and that DH has never seen. I'm not sure if he likes it or not.
GTKY: How did you meet your spouse/partner? We met online while he was moving from down south up to Chicago. He found my profile and we started talking, and he actually spoke to me like a person and not just a piece of meat. Once he was settled, we met up at my friend's birthday party. Our first date was the next day. That was four years ago. We got married a year ago yesterday
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
DS2 due 12/12/18
@kindbytealikat my DH is perpetually stressed about work, so I can relate. And since he is a contract worker it's not just the job itself, but what he will do when the contract is over if they don't renew or extend his contract.
What are you dreading?
I have a stupid "advisory" (homeroom) class every day I work and I really hate it. They aren't even my regular students and they are just a badly behaved bunch. It's only 25 minutes but it sucks. I'm trying to get out of it.
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week?
I've been doing better with exercise and I've started eating more healthy fats and less carbs, which seems to really help keep me full all day. I'm going to try a few new low carb recipes which will be nice. I've been in a rut.
Random thoughts?
Our state fair starts next week and I'm counting down the days! I usually go at least 2 or 3 times. DS will be able to enjoy so much more this year.
We met online (Howaboutwe.com) but after meeting we discovered that we had mutual friends and he was in the same social club in college as my brother! Small world.
What are you looking forward to this week? A weekend with no plans! Our last 2 weekends have been so busy, and next weekend will be too, so I really need the downtime.
What are you dreading? Nothing really.
Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? I'm super far behind on housework, due to those 2 busy weekends, so my only goal is to catch up on that.
Random thoughts? Nothing right now
@lalala2004 I love those kind of stories! Hidden connections are always fun to me. My DH and I actually almost met nine years before we actually did! I did the Disney college program in 2004, which was my introduction to the company. One of my roommates was from Arkansas. We lost touch after the program. DH and I met in 2013, and when we got engaged a year later, he got a message from someone he knew from high school asking him if I had done the DCP in 2004, because she thought I was her roommate, lmao. Also turns out that he had planned to interview for it, but chickened out at the last minute. If he had, we would have met in 2004 instead of 2013. I like to remind him that there's no way to know if we would have gotten together then or not, since we were both very different people back then.
@diaphena Isn't housework a huge pain when you fall behind? I hope you get it taken care of! Your guys' story is cute
So, unrelated, but DH had a stress test today for his heart. I'd given away my shift at work in case he couldn't drive home, and it was a good thing I did. He nearly passed out while on the treadmill, to the point that one of the nurses was asking if they needed to call an ambulance. Now he has an echocardiogram that needs to be scheduled, in addition to the tilt table he's got next week. This in addition to everything going on with me (seeing a podiatrist on Monday for chronic pain in my right foot that I've been putting off dealing with because of every other damn thing, as well as getting a CT on Tuesday for a new pain in my pelvic area). It's gonna be a fun couple of weeks in our house.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
@dreamscapes_ & @diaphena Good luck with the housework (whomp, whomp). But it will feel awesome when done.
@dreamscapes_ I'm so sorry for the rough appointment YH had yesterday, and everything he now has to deal with going forward. I know it's a lot to add on top of the pain you've already been dealing with, but I am glad you have each other to lean on as you muddle your way through.
@lalala2004 I'm glad to learn teachers hate homeroom (lmao at their feeble attempt to call it anything but) as much as we did as students. It's. so. pointless. Just let everyone sleep in an extra 15 minutes.
@emiliadkay what's even more annoying is that we didn't have it last year. They said it was to use less class time for interruptions, assemblies, etc, but they are STILL using regular class time for stuff like that, so what's the point? Some kids actually get work done or read like they are supposed to, but most don't, and I'm supposed to keep them quiet? LOL, that's not my hill to die on. As long as they aren't super loud and causing trouble, I'm fine, but unfortunately there are a few troublemakers in the bunch.
@lalala2004 I never understood homeroom as a kid either. I always wondered if it was for the teachers to do some kind of secret teacher-thing that we couldn't understand. Lol
@CecilB93 Your tattoos sound so cute!
@kindbytealikat Hope your DH's work situation is starting to get better. That sounds like total madness, I'd be a mess.
@emiliadkay Your and DH's story is adorable. I feel you on the wedding season stuff, we have one next weekend and then one that I'm going to by myself in October. They never end!
@lifesabeach85 I think dating was a lot less complicated before all the apps and stuff came along, and I'm glad I didn't have to deal with them. At least that's how it seems from my friends who are dating now!
@KFrob Hope your kitty is okay!
@kimberbeep I'm ready for fall too. We had one week of amazing fall temperatures, then it went away. Today it was 90
@kindbytealikat – I’m near Chicago, and it’s been in the 90’s this week. Whyyyy???
@KFrob – Update on kitty? Hope she’s feeling better
@lifesabeach85 and @emiliadkay – We’re going Sunday to look at the lots, it’s been a long week waiting, and I’m so excited! I can’t wait to customize and pick everything out. The Sims is one of my all-time favorite games.
@dreamscapes_ - No printer for me. I tried to talk to him about it but he didn’t seem worried. He’s out travelling now next two weeks and next week is my last in the office. Trying not to worry about it. Not really my problem anymore, right? I hope you can figure out what’s causing your pain and feel better soon!
@dreamscapes_ Good luck with all of the medical stuff for you and H! That's a lot to deal with at one time and I hope everything works out for both of you! This is our 3rd Plated experience. We did the free box from a referral from my SIL and loved it. Then we did one on our own, but its expensive so we canceled it. They roped us back in with $25 off our next box and we couldn't pass it up. My SIL also sent us a referral for Blue Apron and it didn't seem like a good fit for us either and we never ordered it.
@diaphena and @kimberbeep I'm in CT and were just about to enter into the way-too-warm-for-fall weather. Its supposed to be 82 tomorrow and 89 on Sunday, ick.
My husband and I have been looking at a particular neighborhood to do new construction in. We went Sunday and picked a lot that we liked. I emailed the woman this morning to find out what the next steps were, and in the mean time I started reading through the HOA Declarations she had sent me like months ago. Apparently, they have a limit of 2 pets and we have 4 - 3 dogs and two cats. I'm sure there's instances where people bend the rules and HOA's that don't bother to enforce them. I'm feeling like we're kind of screwed because I don't think this is something I want to take a chance on.
Thoughts or experiences with HOA's?
DS2 due 12/12/18
@kimberbeep Yay for almost being done there! I honestly don't have any advice as far as the HOA, but I do think you should talk to them before you sign anything. You already have the animals and I can't imagine you willingly giving them up just to move into a neighborhood. If you talk to them, you'd at least be able to sort out if they'd give you leeway or if you need to find a new neighborhood.
@KFrob We actually got a mailer on Saturday from HelloFresh, which we'll look into. I'm not sure if it would work for us, lol.
So my CT was supposed to be this morning. It's been rescheduled to next week because I got very very sick from the contrast solution I was supposed to drink. My doctor had to order a new test with no contrast so that it can actually get done without me getting sick. I have an insane gag reflex and have actually made myself sick just brushing my teeth before, so with the taste and texture of the conrast, I'm not surprised. DH's tilt test was a mixed bag. He didn't have a cardio response to it, but had something that may have been a neuro response, so he'll most likely be getting referred to a neurologist after the cardio follow up in a couple of weeks. So... Yeah.
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
@kimberbeep I've dealt with three different HOAs over the years (always as a renter) and in my experience they really run the gamut in terms of, errr, "intensity," and you're best off asking around and seeing what you can find out. Generally, people only care about what affects them (i.e., a dog that spends time outside in the yard and barks occasionally will get dinged, but you could have a dozen indoor cats and be fine), but some neighbors feel personally affected by everything. I probably wouldn't chance it unless I could confirm that several other people in the neighborhood are also above the pet limit, but I'm a stressed.
@KFrob I used Plated back when I was living alone and l-o-v-e-d it. I ultimately cancelled because I was getting kinda upset about the amount of packaging that went into the whole process. (They may have gotten better at that in recent years.) I do appreciate that it eliminates food waste, and maybe now that we're two it's time to revisit it as an occasional treat. With me trying to cook, it would be dinner and a show!
@lalala2004 YAY for a good year!! So excited things worked out.
We spoke to the realtor more about the HOA - they are "planning" to re-write some of the rules in December. But I won't agree to anything until I see how it looks on paper. For now, we're moving on. Looking into buying land and finding a builder to build a custom home on it. The only hiccup with that is the need for a septic tank and well water - I think those costs can easily be $15k and up. I have a few emails out to builders and other realtors to see if it's realistically withing our budget.