Not anywhere near as bad as @TattoosandLace MIL but I got a text from mine that said this...
I love getting a daily (nephew's name) picture. I hope you'll send me a daily Jacob picture.
ummmmm just no. Ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I texted my SIL that also married into the family to ask if she did that with hers and she said hell no. So only one of the SIL's is doing it. Not a family thing.
@TattoosandLace that totally makes sense why you aren't telling her anything. What a sucky thing to do to you guys with the past pregnancies, and to imply that the baby want planned...
It is judgemental of me to say that I think the only reason your SIL would send daily pictures of her child is so that your MIL will tell her how cute and special they are?
Not anywhere near as bad as @TattoosandLace MIL but I got a text from mine that said this...
I love getting a daily (nephew's name) picture. I hope you'll send me a daily Jacob picture.
ummmmm just no. Ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I texted my SIL that also married into the family to ask if she did that with hers and she said hell no. So only one of the SIL's is doing it. Not a family thing.
That's why I just have a private album on Facebook. My MIL gets to see stuff there.
They are super close @sugarcoateddonut and talk every day so it's not a big deal for her.
I think I am going to do a Tiny Beans account. My brother and his wife did one and it's nice. They post once and anyone they have given permission to can see the pictures and videos. Either way Im not promising anyone daily pictures.
@chucksmom15 My mom suggested Tiny Beans. Which is weird because she's computer illiterate...must've been a friend who told her about it. I'll look into that too!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@chucksmom15 My mom suggested Tiny Beans. Which is weird because she's computer illiterate...must've been a friend who told her about it. I'll look into that too!
It's really neat and my mom is totally computer illiterate so it's easy to use. You can control who has access and they can download photos if they want to print them.
I've been trying to convince my MiL to get Facebook so I don't have to constantly send her photos that I've uploaded. She hates Facebook to the extreme, thinks it makes us all narsassic attention whores. Hahahah, but I'm like, doesn't it make it easier on me to post a picture in one place and have everyone that wants to see it, see it. Instead of having to individually text or email a list of people the same photo.
So far I've had no luck. Maybe once the baby comes and I refuse to text her pictures she'll be more willing to listen.
I've been trying to convince my MiL to get Facebook so I don't have to constantly send her photos that I've uploaded. She hates Facebook to the extreme, thinks it makes us all narsassic attention whores. Hahahah, but I'm like, doesn't it make it easier on me to post a picture in one place and have everyone that wants to see it, see it. Instead of having to individually text or email a list of people the same photo.
So far I've had no luck. Maybe once the baby comes and I refuse to text her pictures she'll be more willing to listen.
My mom didn't want Facebook! And fought us about getting it! Her first 3 grandkids all lived within 15 minutes so she could just go and visit if she wanted to see them. But when my son was born (we live 28 hours away) she was all for Facebook so that she could see lots of pictures of him (we usually just group text them now since I don't share as much online anymore). So when baby gets here she might change her mind!
@ash0625 I'm sorry. Don't be upset. Some women's bodies just hold pregnancy different. I hold my baby weight/bump very low and other woman wear it higher. I feel like body shape has a lot to do with how "big" it looks.
So I haven't talked to MIL since we told her the baby is a boy. Her entire response was about her, no congratulations to us or "I know you were hoping for a girl but you're going to love being a boy mom!" Which is what most people said. 100% all about how happy she was and that's what she wanted and the family name gets carried blah blah
Anyway I recently sent ILs a picture and made a comment about how DD totally got whatever she was doing from my side of the family. I kid you not MIL was like "well actually she's a foley". I didn't respond for a while but then I was like "maybe you forgot how this works since it's been a while but she is half my daughter. You know I grew and birthed her." She didn't respond which is good for her. I posted a petty picture on my brothers wall today and tagged DH and my parents so I know she'll see it. I was like check out that P concentration.
Throat punches for for so many idiots this week. Sorry someone said that to you @ash0625. Your MIL is a peach @SarahFoley725. My MIL pulled the same shit with DS for about a year--finally DH snapped at her and told her how hurtful it was when she was constantly saying DS was so much like HER side of the family. I am super proud that you called your MIL out!!
Thanks, guys. I'm usually pretty thick skinned so I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I get so tired of the idea that my body is open for comment even when I'm NOT pregnant. I'm not sure growing a child some how makes my body an appropriate topic of conversation. Feel like I'm going to have to start reminding people.
Thanks, guys. I'm usually pretty thick skinned so I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I get so tired of the idea that my body is open for comment even when I'm NOT pregnant. I'm not sure growing a child some how makes my body an appropriate topic of conversation. Feel like I'm going to have to start reminding people.
YES! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. A throat punch is totally in order. I flat out asked my parents when it became ok to comment about my weight or ask to see my belly. My mother said that my being pregnant made it ok. I went off. I told her that being pregnant made it even LESS ok. What is wrong with people???
Update: I bitched to HR and said it needed to be handled in some way. I work in a male dominated field and was surrounded by male peers when she said it. I didn't feel like I could react the way I wanted for fear of earning the "bitchy hormonal" title. I don't like being put in that position.
Thanks for the support. I feel justified in my rage.
@ash0625 When someone starts with "Not to be rude" you know it's gonna be throat punch-worthy. Why people feel they can say anything is beyond me. Hugs, girl. You look great
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@SarahFoley725 I'm bracing myself for similar "ownership", even from H. He's half mine and no one better forget it! Good for you for standing up for yourself!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@ash0625 When someone starts with "Not to be rude" you know it's gonna be throat punch-worthy. Why people feel they can say anything is beyond me. Hugs, girl. You look great
This!!! It's right up there with saying "no offense" at the beginning of a sentence. That doesn't give people free reign to say whatever they want!!
Sorry @ash0625. She sounds like a real piece of work.
I haven't been super active on this board since my pregnancy has been pretty great overall, but I needed to vent today.
I was standing at my desk today and both my manage and a co-worker decided to comment on my belly, saying how there's no hiding my pregnancy anymore. Whatever. Then my coworker asks how many weeks I am (18). Then she says how most pregnant women she knows were not as big as I am until they were 7 or 8 months along. I really think this normally wouldn't bother me since I love my belly, but hormones have been hitting me strong lately. Sorry my uterus is the size of a cantaloupe and my I don't have room in my body to hide it anymore...
I know this is a recurring theme and nothing new to everyone here, but I really don't understand why it people think it's appropriate to comment on my body. At least if you say something, make it a compliment.
@RaeleenD Sorry you had to hear that! I think when women become pregnant to some people we cease being humans and start being just incubators so people feel they can comment on our bodies.
Edited to make it clear they can NOT comment on our bodies!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@raeleenD Even though it people make ahole comments a lot--it doesn't make it hurt any less when something is said to you. Sorry you had to hear that today!
I was at a football game this weekend when the bathroom attendant asked if I was 8 months. Oh and the male worker who was in the bathroom talking to her asked if he could touch my belly.
@RaeleenD Some people have no idea how inappropriate or annoying things are... if you're not gonna say something nice (or helpful), then just don't! Seriously, what was she trying to get across comparing your bump to someone further along! I'm sorry you had to deal with that!
@chucksmom15 Well.... at least he asked to touch it? No. Just no.
Thanks for the support @eggplantface, @magnolia305, and @clc515. I think people would interact so much better if people put a little thought into what they say before saying it.
@chucksmom15 that is SO inappropriate. I'm not sure how I would react to someone touching me without my permission. I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't wrap my head around people like that....who wants to touch a stranger at all, anyway?!
Re: Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says
I love getting a daily (nephew's name) picture. I hope you'll send me a daily Jacob picture.
ummmmm just no. Ain't nobody got time for that. Plus I texted my SIL that also married into the family to ask if she did that with hers and she said hell no. So only one of the SIL's is doing it. Not a family thing.
my MIL did and still does blame my nieces mom because she wasn't on birth control. Not like semen from her son was involved or anything.
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
It is judgemental of me to say that I think the only reason your SIL would send daily pictures of her child is so that your MIL will tell her how cute and special they are?
Oh well, I said it anyway.
I think I am going to do a Tiny Beans account. My brother and his wife did one and it's nice. They post once and anyone they have given permission to can see the pictures and videos. Either way Im not promising anyone daily pictures.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
So far I've had no luck. Maybe once the baby comes and I refuse to text her pictures she'll be more willing to listen.
I'm in my office now trying not to cry and rage because I was already sensitive about looking so pregnant so soon in my first pregnancy.
Also, throat punch that hoe.
So I haven't talked to MIL since we told her the baby is a boy. Her entire response was about her, no congratulations to us or "I know you were hoping for a girl but you're going to love being a boy mom!" Which is what most people said. 100% all about how happy she was and that's what she wanted and the family name gets carried blah blah
Anyway I recently sent ILs a picture and made a comment about how DD totally got whatever she was doing from my side of the family. I kid you not MIL was like "well actually she's a foley". I didn't respond for a while but then I was like "maybe you forgot how this works since it's been a while but she is half my daughter. You know I grew and birthed her." She didn't respond which is good for her. I posted a petty picture on my brothers wall today and tagged DH and my parents so I know she'll see it. I was like check out that P concentration.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Thanks for the support. I feel justified in my rage.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
Sorry @ash0625. She sounds like a real piece of work.
ETA: I apparently can't spell.
@ash0625 I'm glad you went to Hr.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@SarahFoley725 your MIL would try my patience!! At least you are comfortable enough to stand up to her! That makes a huge difference!
I was standing at my desk today and both my manage and a co-worker decided to comment on my belly, saying how there's no hiding my pregnancy anymore. Whatever. Then my coworker asks how many weeks I am (18). Then she says how most pregnant women she knows were not as big as I am until they were 7 or 8 months along. I really think this normally wouldn't bother me since I love my belly, but hormones have been hitting me strong lately. Sorry my uterus is the size of a cantaloupe and my I don't have room in my body to hide it anymore...
I know this is a recurring theme and nothing new to everyone here, but I really don't understand why it people think it's appropriate to comment on my body. At least if you say something, make it a compliment.
Thanks for the vent! ☺
Edited to make it clear they can NOT comment on our bodies!
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@chucksmom15 Well.... at least he asked to touch it? No. Just no.
@chucksmom15 that is SO inappropriate. I'm not sure how I would react to someone touching me without my permission. I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't wrap my head around people like that....who wants to touch a stranger at all, anyway?!