I am so thankful that my first trimester symptoms are behind me, but I'm finding that I have a little anxiety because at 16 weeks I don't have the symptoms to confirm my pregnancy on a regular basis. I've had a three week window with no appointments, so haven't seen the little bean in a while. I occasionally feel cramping/stretching in my abdomen, but that is it. No fatigue, shortness of breath or nausea. Just wondering if anyone else feels this paranoia...
@sarabeth5678 I know it can be hard not having any reassurances - but my suggesting would be to enjoy feeling as good as you do if you can. I'm mostly feeling better ... but I still get very tired and short of breath - and I'm uncomfortable 90% of the time. I would love to not feel this way anymore! I understand it's all easier said than done... but try.
Also - I'm sure it was not your intention at all-time but your comment got under my skin a little. This pregnancy has been so hard on me emotionally and physically and I would just about kill for a little relief. To hear you are feeling so great and wish you weren't (so to speak) makes me feel like I should feel guilty for not wanting to feel like C$%! all the anymore. again, I know you didn't mean it that way... but a little sensitivity to those having a very different experience would be greatly appreciated- atleast by me.
@Gingermom15 I had the paragard after DS (I think it was inserted around 10 weeks pp) and I was happy with it. Before having an IUD, I had light periods and it is true that they became heavier and lasted for an extra day but all of this was just a minor inconvenience and really not a big deal for me. I would recommend Paragard based on my experience. I really liked the fact that it was non hormonal and I never had to think about it.
Side note - I got pregnant right after I had it removed, so it doesn't interfere with your cycle at all!
Thank you (and everyone else who answered. I read them!) I would be ok with heavier periods within reason. If shark week lasted weeks, then I wouldn't be ok with that. My normal cycle is 3 days or less as it is.
Also, I had read about women getting it placed during their cs. I wonder if that would be a viable option? I'll ask my OB about it at some point, I have plenty of time still.
@sarabeth5678 I remember writing my OB around this time last pregnancy. It probably lasted through my 20-week appointment and I was incredibly anxious. I didn't feel great in the first tri, and all of a sudden everything went away. It was really unnerving to feel *good* (relatively speaking), and I wasn't feeling regular movement, so it triggered a lot of my worries. Rest assured that you just need to find ways to enjoy these moments and you can only control so much, so focus on that!
@bb3vj3n I hope I'm not speaking for @sarabeth5678 here, but I hope you also see how equally valid her anxiety is to your physical symptoms. Dealing with anxiety, as I know you probably already understand, during pregnancy can be just as debilitating. I hope you know that we are all rooting for those who aren't feeling well yet and those who are worried about relatively symptom-less days all the same!
This might be totally out there, but.... do you think there could be any correlation between how bad you get stretch marks and your chances of tearing during birth?
@LiveNLove44 yes I am no stranger to anxiety as I am part of the PGAL group. I do understand the stress behind it... very well.
i know it's impossible to consider every single persons personal experience when we are each so consumed with our own feelings and insecurities. I a do a think that the point could have worded differently so that nobody needed to feel that they were wrong for feeling a certain way. A simple "lack of symptoms in 2nd tri has me anxious... wish my next appointment were sooner so i could see LO" might have conveyed the same feeling without getting into the specifics.
I'm not trying to stir the pot - honestly, I know that I am just as "guilty" in turning the point on it's side. i just think we should all, myself included, just try to use some sensitivity to the experience of others. Especially because, if any of you are like me right now, it's easy to get emotional or take things to heart.... and the original post made me feel guilty for wanting to be symptom free, even though i know that was not the intent.
@npkat I honestly can't say for sure. But my personal experiences is no. My first I got 2 tiny stretch marks and tore hugely. My second, I still only got a few tiny stretch marks and didn't tear at all. And they have equally ginormous heads. Like...95% percentile for head circumferences at birth.
@npkat, I've never heard of a correlation. It would definitely be interesting if there was one. I got stretch marks with my DS for sure, but I also gained 70lbs (walk of shame). I also tore and had an episiotomy with him. So...in my case. Yes to both!
@bb3vj3n, I keep trying to see @sarabeth5678's comment the way you are seeing it, but I just can't. Nowhere is she wishing she had symptoms or even bragplaining. It's common for people to feel anxious about a lack of symptoms when every baby book you read tries to comfort moms who are feeling sick by telling them that's a sign of a healthy pregnancy, when in fact, sickness has nothing to do with the status of your little one.
I don't see how she could have been more sensitive and still get her (very valid) concern across. I am sorry you are struggling. I hope things turn around for you. But in the meantime, one person's struggles have nothing to do with yours, at all, in any way, and I actually feel as if your post downplays her anxiety, and that's not cool.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
Has anybody ever had a fetal echo performed? We have one coming up On sept 26 (13-14wk) and will have another around 18-22 weeks. I am extremely anxious. To my understanding it is similar to a routine ultrasound... anyone gone through one? Or going through one this pregnancy?
@bb3vj3n, to me as someone who dealt with panic attacks during each pregnancy, and then experienced increased anxiety during situations much like @sarabeth5678's post, I'm feeling a little frustrated that you'd suggest she has less of a right to share details about her experience because hers is emotional rather than the bajillion posts we all share regarding the physical (mostly). Her experience in no way makes yours less important, and I really don't think it's fair to say she shouldn't have shared it the way she did because the idea of being symptomless made you feel bad about your experience that is entirely different. I think people have done a really nice job here being sensitive to others' experiences, but I'm sensing that a little more sensitivity on your part regarding the reality of someone else's anxiety triggers would benefit this conversation.
Yes seconding @SoFlaMommie1128 about pregnancy post-IUD - I got mine removed at the end of April and here I am in the March 2018 BMB. (And this is with the Mirena/hormonal IUD.) Definitely a faster turnaround with your cycle than the pill, etc.
at no point did i say what she was feeling wasnt difficult, or scary or challenging. i also didn't say my feelings take precedent- it was just how it was worded that upset me.... clearly I'm in the minority on this one so I'm going to just leave it alone.
I think during my time in this BMB I have been nothing but supportive of the experiences of all these women, and this particular comment stung me, and so for the first time ever - I spoke up and shared how another commenter made me feel.
I'm just going to drop it at this point as I really don't want to be the reason this escalates any further. I'm sorry if nobody sees it the way i do... but for now let's just move on
@sarabeth5678 I know it can be hard not having any reassurances - but my suggesting would be to enjoy feeling as good as you do if you can. I'm mostly feeling better ... but I still get very tired and short of breath - and I'm uncomfortable 90% of the time. I would love to not feel this way anymore! I understand it's all easier said than done... but try.
Also - I'm sure it was not your intention at all-time but your comment got under my skin a little. This pregnancy has been so hard on me emotionally and physically and I would just about kill for a little relief. To hear you are feeling so great and wish you weren't (so to speak) makes me feel like I should feel guilty for not wanting to feel like C$%! all the anymore. again, I know you didn't mean it that way... but a little sensitivity to those having a very different experience would be greatly appreciated- atleast by me.
sorry - my hormones make me very sensitive!
And this is how mommy wars get started.
My current pregnancy has been almost symptom free, which after a 3 year struggle with TFAS with IF is absolutely emotionally hard to accept. With DD I was sick as a dog, couldn't eat and was so tired. It's just not the case this time and even though increased symptoms don't mean everyone is moving forward correctly, it feels defeating many times because you associate "pregnant with sick" and then you're pregnant and not sick. Even my RE Commented on how hard it much be emotionally to be pregnant and feeling fine, especially because I had an early diagnosed SCH that caused spotting.
So whats next, shaming moms who easily breast feed and asking them not to talk about their struggle with over supply because someone like myself produced zero milk? Their issues are real too, and they shouldn't be silenced. Shaming moms whose kids STTN early on when yours hasn't slept more than an hour for a year? Everyone has a struggle, and it doesn't mean it's less than you own.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
I think we should drop it, as @bb3vj3n, already suggested. I think she was hurt by what was said, and whether we agree with it or not, she has a right to express her feelings. For the record, I don't think the original poster had any ill intention in their post. But sometimes words can be misconstrued, especially when they hit a soft spot with one of us. But we all recognize that. So let's move forward now and not keep bringing this up.
@sarabeth5678 I know it can be hard not having any reassurances - but my suggesting would be to enjoy feeling as good as you do if you can. I'm mostly feeling better ... but I still get very tired and short of breath - and I'm uncomfortable 90% of the time. I would love to not feel this way anymore! I understand it's all easier said than done... but try.
Also - I'm sure it was not your intention at all-time but your comment got under my skin a little. This pregnancy has been so hard on me emotionally and physically and I would just about kill for a little relief. To hear you are feeling so great and wish you weren't (so to speak) makes me feel like I should feel guilty for not wanting to feel like C$%! all the anymore. again, I know you didn't mean it that way... but a little sensitivity to those having a very different experience would be greatly appreciated- atleast by me.
sorry - my hormones make me very sensitive!
And this is how mommy wars get started.
My current pregnancy has been almost symptom free, which after a 3 year struggle with TFAS with IF is absolutely emotionally hard to accept. With DD I was sick as a dog, couldn't eat and was so tired. It's just not the case this time and even though increased symptoms don't mean everyone is moving forward correctly, it feels defeating many times because you associate "pregnant with sick" and then you're pregnant and not sick. Even my RE Commented on how hard it much be emotionally to be pregnant and feeling fine, especially because I had an early diagnosed SCH that caused spotting.
So whats next, shaming moms who easily breast feed and asking them not to talk about their struggle with over supply because someone like myself produced zero milk? Their issues are real too, and they shouldn't be silenced. Shaming moms whose kids STTN early on when yours hasn't slept more than an hour for a year? Everyone has a struggle, and it doesn't mean it's less than you own.
@Everycol0r hello poster I have never spoken to before or seen on any of the boards. not sure why you decided to come after me when I've already dropped it.
and nobody shamed anybody for anything or saying that anybody's experience is worth more than that of any other on this board.
I made a comment... people disagreed... we all talked about it politely and without judgement of each other - and then you just join in not knowing me, my history or connection with this particular group of women (who I have come to care deeply for and respect their opinions... which is why I backed off).
you on the other hand. take a seat - don't assume to know things that you don't. As @justkeeptrying said - my feelings were hurt and I shared that with a group of women I trust, they helped me see past it, and we moved on. That is not starting a war. You on the other hand - seem raring to go. Back off.
I'm not here to pick a side. Clearly it was a miscommunication, and as long as there are no hurt feelings between the two of you who have had different experiences, I agree that dropping it is the best thing to do. It can be so hard to read someone's tone on the internet so I can see how one person might get hurt by something others don't see as offensive. It happens. Anyway, I'm here just to say that I'm surprised you havent seen @Everycol0r on the board because I feel like she's been pretty regular. (And I probably look like a weirdo for randomly chiming in on that, since I haven't been regularly active much. I probably look like a strange face. Or, George Costanza's face with a stranger behind it, lol.)
@jeanbean15 not random at all - i know exactly who you are. hard to forget your picture.
I don't know what to tell you...i have never seen her before on any board before today. I'm on here regularly... so it would suprise me also - but I'll take your word for it.
@Everycol0r maybe longer but definetly not more active and you have never spoken to me before.
not sure where your rant about me judging and my shame on breastfeeding moms or sleepless moms and everything else you included in your "rant" came from. or why you decided to say i started a "war" where we were having a civilized conversation - but stay clear of me going forward please. i have nothing but a great relationship with most if not all of these women and I have never had a run in like this before you.
way to take it to the next level. as i said before you decided to chime in ...i had already dropped this. I won't be engaging with you any further
@Everycol0r maybe longer but definetly not more active and you have never spoken to me before.
not sure where your rant about me judging and my shame on breastfeeding moms or sleepless moms and everything else you included in your "rant" came from. or why you decided to say i started a "war" where we were having a civilized conversation - but stay clear of me going forward please. i have nothing but a great relationship with most if not all of these women and I have never had a run in like this before you.
way to take it to the next level. as i said before you decided to chime in ...i had already dropped this. I won't be engaging with you any further
I am pretty sure I said this is how mommy wars start, not "a war" and I was being general when I mention breast feeding & sleeping not directive toward you specifically. Because it is in fact how mom wars start, by lessening the pain of others if they don't meet you're (General you) criteria of suffering.
And no, I haven't been incredibly active as of late since I had to take a Bump Break due to the purchase of a new house, moving and then the catastrophe of Hurricane Harvey that rocked our world. So my hugest apologies that we have never had a "run in" before due to life circumstance. But I don't apologize for what I said because I stand by them.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
I just totally forgot I'm lurking and lovetitted. Oopsie. I do go here, I've just been too lazy to intro...hiiiiiii. I used to be a reg. I'll get to an intro here one day. Carry on.
Question - For people who are now STM+/FTM but showing a bump already, when did you start showing a bump the first time?
I'm starting to do a mirror check every morning and I'm going to drive myself batty xD Not even 15 weeks yet and I've got a bit of padding, so I know I've got time, but I think I'd feel better with some sort of loose timeframe to look forward to.
@calecorvus, I don't think I really had a bump until I was about 16 weeks with my first. And that was really only a bump that I noticed. For the rest of the world, it was probably closer to 20 weeks when it was clear I was pregnant and not just having a heavy lunch.
This time around I am starting my pregnancy overweight. So I don't anticipate it being a clear "bump" until at least the 20 week mark.
Question - For people who are now STM+/FTM but showing a bump already, when did you start showing a bump the first time?
I'm starting to do a mirror check every morning and I'm going to drive myself batty xD Not even 15 weeks yet and I've got a bit of padding, so I know I've got time, but I think I'd feel better with some sort of loose timeframe to look forward to.
(edited for better phrasing)
I didn't start showing with my first until around 7 months. then it popped out if nowhere
@calecorvus 20 weeks with my first, currently 15 weeks and I look pregnant and starting wearing maternity clothes the past couple days! But I'm about 30 pounds overweight to start so I think it just looks like I've been realllyy getting into the snacks
@calecorvus Honestly I think it depends on your frame. I'm 5'0" and started my first pregnancy overweight, and I carry my weight in my midsection. I started to look actually pregnant with a rounded bump around 20 weeks. Before that I just looked chubbier, lol. This time, still overweight and I'm 16w tomorrow and my husband started commenting a week or two ago that I looked pregnant.
One of my good friends is tall and thin and didn't look noticibly pregnant to strangers until 30 weeks or so because baby had so much vertical room to grow.
@calecorvus Honestly I feel like it's taken me the longest to start showing this go around! (Pregnancy #6, 2 children) DH and I could tell around 16 weeks that it was more baby than burrito. Almost 18 weeks and if I didn't suck it in (we are holding off on telling others until we check on baby this week) it would be absolutely obvious. Crazy because it was pretty noticeable by 14-ish weeks with 1 and 2. Just goes to show every body and every pregnancy can differ!
Anyone have any idea of a double stroller, that is reasonably priced, that fits the Graco clik connect carseats? Also, does anyone here have a Kia Sportage with 2 carseats and a small booster in the back? Best fit ideas needed.
Anyone have any idea of a double stroller, that is reasonably priced, that fits the Graco clik connect carseats? Also, does anyone here have a Kia Sportage with 2 carseats and a small booster in the back? Best fit ideas needed.
Thank you for your support. I realize that anxiety can take a back seat to the physical pains that pregnancy brings.I went off my anxiety medication for the pregnancy and my first trimester symptoms were overpowering my anxiety. Now it's back to sleepless nights, obsessing and talking in circles. We are lucky to be pregnant and I do feel guilt when I complain... That being said, it's just hard some days and it's nice to come here to connect with women having similar feelings.
I had a hellish 1st trimester, but there is always greener grass and silver linings, like a full night's sleep and lots of naps in 1st tri because I was so tired. Now I have insomnia, but at least I can go out in public!
I certainly have sympathy for all the struggles of these 9 (let's be real 12+) months. It's really hard from the discomfort to the nausea to the constant worry of loss. @bb3vj3n I can see how my comment would get under your skin. I was (physically) miserable for what felt like forever, so I get it. When I started to feel more like myself, I was faced with my crippling anxiety, surged by hormones. I hope that you feel better this week or soon, and please don't feel bad for not wanting to feel like crap.
I just tuned back in today to see the trail I left behind, and I really appreciate the support. I had a good appointment today and wishing the same to you all.
@sarabeth5678 thank you for the tag and for circling back. for what it's worth at this point - I wasnt trying to invalidate your anxieties... I've just had a tough go (as I know many of us have had) and i would do ANYTHING to move past it.
I'm glad time hear you had a great appointment. Hopefully it will give you some well deserved piece of mind
Re: Questions - Week of September 11
Also - I'm sure it was not your intention at all-time but your comment got under my skin a little. This pregnancy has been so hard on me emotionally and physically and I would just about kill for a little relief. To hear you are feeling so great and wish you weren't (so to speak) makes me feel like I should feel guilty for not wanting to feel like C$%! all the anymore. again, I know you didn't mean it that way... but a little sensitivity to those having a very different experience would be greatly appreciated- atleast by me.
sorry - my hormones make me very sensitive!
I would be ok with heavier periods within reason. If shark week lasted weeks, then I wouldn't be ok with that. My normal cycle is 3 days or less as it is.
Also, I had read about women getting it placed during their cs. I wonder if that would be a viable option? I'll ask my OB about it at some point, I have plenty of time still.
@bb3vj3n I hope I'm not speaking for @sarabeth5678 here, but I hope you also see how equally valid her anxiety is to your physical symptoms. Dealing with anxiety, as I know you probably already understand, during pregnancy can be just as debilitating. I hope you know that we are all rooting for those who aren't feeling well yet and those who are worried about relatively symptom-less days all the same!
ETA fix tag
i know it's impossible to consider every single persons personal experience when we are each so consumed with our own feelings and insecurities. I a do a think that the point could have worded differently so that nobody needed to feel that they were wrong for feeling a certain way. A simple "lack of symptoms in 2nd tri has me anxious... wish my next appointment were sooner so i could see LO" might have conveyed the same feeling without getting into the specifics.
I'm not trying to stir the pot - honestly, I know that I am just as "guilty" in turning the point on it's side. i just think we should all, myself included, just try to use some sensitivity to the experience of others. Especially because, if any of you are like me right now, it's easy to get emotional or take things to heart.... and the original post made me feel guilty for wanting to be symptom free, even though i know that was not the intent.
I don't see how she could have been more sensitive and still get her (very valid) concern across. I am sorry you are struggling. I hope things turn around for you. But in the meantime, one person's struggles have nothing to do with yours, at all, in any way, and I actually feel as if your post downplays her anxiety, and that's not cool.
at no point did i say what she was feeling wasnt difficult, or scary or challenging. i also didn't say my feelings take precedent- it was just how it was worded that upset me.... clearly I'm in the minority on this one so I'm going to just leave it alone.
I think during my time in this BMB I have been nothing but supportive of the experiences of all these women, and this particular comment stung me, and so for the first time ever - I spoke up and shared how another commenter made me feel.
I'm just going to drop it at this point as I really don't want to be the reason this escalates any further. I'm sorry if nobody sees it the way i do... but for now let's just move on
My current pregnancy has been almost symptom free, which after a 3 year struggle with TFAS with IF is absolutely emotionally hard to accept. With DD I was sick as a dog, couldn't eat and was so tired. It's just not the case this time and even though increased symptoms don't mean everyone is moving forward correctly, it feels
defeating many times because you associate "pregnant with sick" and then you're pregnant and not sick. Even my RE Commented on how hard it much be emotionally to be pregnant and feeling fine, especially because I had an early diagnosed SCH that caused spotting.
So whats next, shaming moms who easily breast feed and asking them not to talk about their struggle with over supply because someone like myself produced zero milk? Their issues are real too, and they shouldn't be silenced. Shaming moms whose kids STTN early on when yours hasn't slept more than an hour for a year? Everyone has a struggle, and it doesn't mean it's less than you own.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
and nobody shamed anybody for anything or saying that anybody's experience is worth more than that of any other on this board.
I made a comment... people disagreed... we all talked about it politely and without judgement of each other - and then you just join in not knowing me, my history or connection with this particular group of women (who I have come to care deeply for and respect their opinions... which is why I backed off).
you on the other hand. take a seat - don't assume to know things that you don't. As @justkeeptrying said - my feelings were hurt and I shared that with a group of women I trust, they helped me see past it, and we moved on. That is not starting a war. You on the other hand - seem raring to go. Back off.
Anyway,
I'm here just to say that I'm surprised you havent seen @Everycol0r on the board because I feel like she's been pretty regular.
(And I probably look like a weirdo for randomly chiming in on that, since I haven't been regularly active much. I probably look like a strange face. Or, George Costanza's face with a stranger behind it, lol.)
I don't know what to tell you...i have never seen her before on any board before today. I'm on here regularly... so it would suprise me also - but I'll take your word for it.
thank you for understanding
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
not sure where your rant about me judging and my shame on breastfeeding moms or sleepless moms and everything else you included in your "rant" came from. or why you decided to say i started a "war" where we were having a civilized conversation - but stay clear of me going forward please. i have nothing but a great relationship with most if not all of these women and I have never had a run in like this before you.
way to take it to the next level. as i said before you decided to chime in ...i had already dropped this. I won't be engaging with you any further
And no, I haven't been incredibly active as of late since I had to take a Bump Break due to the purchase of a new house, moving and then the catastrophe of Hurricane Harvey that rocked our world. So my hugest apologies that we have never had a "run in" before due to life circumstance. But I don't apologize for what I said because I stand by them.
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
LFAF February Siggy Challenge - "Favorite TV/Movie Couple"
DD: 10/17/13
TTC#2 Actively: 10/14, NTNP: 01/14
Left-Sided Hydrosalpinx (cause: genetic abnormality, TREATED 11/16)
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/396b04
I'm starting to do a mirror check every morning and I'm going to drive myself batty xD Not even 15 weeks yet and I've got a bit of padding, so I know I've got time, but I think I'd feel better with some sort of loose timeframe to look forward to.
(edited for better phrasing)
This time around I am starting my pregnancy overweight. So I don't anticipate it being a clear "bump" until at least the 20 week mark.
One of my good friends is tall and thin and didn't look noticibly pregnant to strangers until 30 weeks or so because baby had so much vertical room to grow.
Also, does anyone here have a Kia Sportage with 2 carseats and a small booster in the back? Best fit ideas needed.
ETA Autocorrect making up words...
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
Thank you for your support. I realize that anxiety can take a back seat to the physical pains that pregnancy brings.I went off my anxiety medication for the pregnancy and my first trimester symptoms were overpowering my anxiety. Now it's back to sleepless nights, obsessing and talking in circles. We are lucky to be pregnant and I do feel guilt when I complain... That being said, it's just hard some days and it's nice to come here to connect with women having similar feelings.
I had a hellish 1st trimester, but there is always greener grass and silver linings, like a full night's sleep and lots of naps in 1st tri because I was so tired. Now I have insomnia, but at least I can go out in public!
I certainly have sympathy for all the struggles of these 9 (let's be real 12+) months. It's really hard from the discomfort to the nausea to the constant worry of loss. @bb3vj3n I can see how my comment would get under your skin. I was (physically) miserable for what felt like forever, so I get it. When I started to feel more like myself, I was faced with my crippling anxiety, surged by hormones. I hope that you feel better this week or soon, and please don't feel bad for not wanting to feel like crap.
I just tuned back in today to see the trail I left behind, and I really appreciate the support. I had a good appointment today and wishing the same to you all.
I'm glad time hear you had a great appointment. Hopefully it will give you some well deserved piece of mind