How are you staying calm??

okaykoala · September 2017

Hi all,

I am just 4 weeks pregnant and already so terrified for my little pal. This is my first pregnancy (with no prior losses), but I can't help reading into every cramp, every time my morning sickness isn't as bad as the day before, etc. and worrying about a miscarriage. How on earth are you guys staying calm at what seems like such a risky time? Eek!

charlestonchew · September 2017

WTF is calm.

ladystinson · September 2017

I just keep breathing and remind myself that worrying and stressing will not do anything to prevent problems but isn't good for me or the baby.

Sorry this is so long, I peronally do have a history of loss
**TW**: I miscarried at what was believed to be 7 weeks (I got pregnant on birth control so not a clue as to when my last period was/should have been because they had been getting lighter and disappearing for months before) Dr thought it may be low progesterone. Then I got pregnant with my DS 5 months later, I did have low progesterone with him but I had been told by my dr that I need to call for betas and progesterone levels as soon as I find out I'm pregnant (me personally, not all) I did, got the meds and delivered a full term, healthy, amazing baby. When he was 3 months old we had a bit of an oops moment and I ended up pregnant again. Same thing, called for betas and progesterone (is there an abbreviation for this?) levels, found out they were low again, started meds, but still miscarried between 8-9 weeks. Personally, I just don't think my body could handle it. 3 pregnancies in just under 2 years is hard on your body and mind. **End TW**

I have little goals to focus on:
Got my first bloodwork done on Tuesday, and will get my results today. I'll know if I need to start taking progesterone, if not- fantastic, if so- we'll get them started to help maintain the pregnancy, this will put me at ease.
Then next round this evening with results tomorrow. That will tell me if my betas have doubled, which will put me at ease.
Then I have my intake/dating ultrasound appointment on the 27th, at that we'll get to see the heart beating, this will put me at more ease.

Make sure you tell your dr, and see if they'll do an early u/s if it would help calm you. And as granola as it sounds, meditate. I don't mean break out the yoga mat and start chanting, just sit, relax, close your eyes and focus on your breathing.

If your anxiety gets crazy bad, try this coping method (if you're out and about and can't remember which sense is which number, just assign what you can to each)

https://theinvisiblewarriorcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/5-4-3-2-1.png?w=663

sparkymcgeee · September 2017

Yeah I'm not. I've had four other pregnancies and two of them ended in a miscarriage. So I never feel calm until the baby is in my arms. But you're pregnant now and so you probably should try as best you can to relax. Don't borrow trouble. Keep it at a low murmur instead of roar.

zizzabell523 · September 2017

There was never a time I was not nervous or worried the whole 40 weeks I carried my DD. No risks, no problems, just the negative what-if's always creeping in. Try to keep your mind occupied and it helps.

thunderberry · September 2017

Yeeaah calm is a whole other timezone away from me. I'm the same as you, every time my queasiness goes away I panic, and the cramping freaks me out. I am making an effort though to focus on the positive - the chances of success are WAY higher than chance of loss after all - and if that doesn't work I go looking for examples online of people who've had these things happen and still had healthy pregnancy. Which there are tons of. I am hoping that once I have my 8 week ultrasound I'll be a little calmer but knowing me... I probably won't be :P

sandbar517 · September 2017

I agree with all the PP. *TW* My first pregnancy ended in a blighted ovum and I had to have a D&C *end TW*, so for my second pregnancy I was feeling like I didn't have to be as nervous because if something was going to happen, there would be nothing I could do to stop it. Honestly, being on here helps a lot. Talking to other women going through the same things as you at the same time. I suggest reading the **READ THIS FIRST** post at the top of the list, introduce yourself and join us. If you do, I also suggest changing your screen name so it's easier to remember who you are and it's easier to tag you. Welcome and congratulations!

okaykoala · September 2017

Thanks, will do!

ccvslp · September 2017

I'm not calm.

My spotting situation is making me crazy. And then I get angry that I can't let myself enjoy a time that could turn out just fine, especially when the triage nurse on the phone says not to worry about my symptoms. I am a PRO worrier and nobody can stop me.

Im 5weeks tomorrow and haven't had any nausea or m/s yet, either, which makes me far from calm. Who ever thought I'd be wishing I felt nauseous...

bearwithme · September 2017

Mother of a special needs child.

We dont do calm in this house. We live in a constant state of anxiety- so much so that if sometimes feels normal, ha.

And honestly, if you have anxiety, it might be worth seeing a therapist, it might get worse as pregnancy continues and once LO is born. And having strategies in place might be a good idea.

momo214 · September 2017

A healthy amount of nerves never hurts. I had a relatively symptom-free day and actually forgot I'm pregnant and started to carry a large box of paper reams down the hall to refill a copier. About half way I remembered, oh shit.... I shouldn't be doing this anymore.

Cerisrichard · September 2017

momo214 said:

A healthy amount of nerves never hurts. I had a relatively symptom-free day and actually forgot I'm pregnant and started to carry a large box of paper reams down the hall to refill a copier. About half way I remembered, oh shit.... I shouldn't be doing this anymore.

I try not to worry about carrying heavy things... My toddlers weigh a ton and I still have to lift them, plus putting the double pushchair in the boot. They also climb all over me...

sandbar517 · September 2017

^WSS I've read so many posts and questions about holding/carrying a toddler during pregnancy, and almost all of the responses I've seen are similar to that of exercising during pregnancy. Whatever you're used to doing pre-pregnancy is more than likely fine to continue doing during pregnancy, barring any special circumstances with high risk, etc. I have two 28 lb toddlers who can still be very clingy, sometimes at the same time, so yes I still carry them both at the same time if absolutely necessary. @momo214 I'm absolutely not disagreeing with what you're saying, a little caution never hurts. But I'm also in the "pregnant women aren't made of glass" camp, too.

momo214 · September 2017

Oh I totally agree with y'all. My toddler weighed more than the box, it was just harder to carry that than the toddler. Point was, it doesn't hurt to have healthy nerves. Last pregnancy I felt invincible during my second tri and ended up in the hospital for preterm labor because I thought I could move furniture. Lesson learned.

sandbar517 · September 2017

Good point @momo214

CraftyG · September 2017

Honestly I think I'd be more worried if I wasn't freaking out that I'm growing a human being that's going to be shoved out my hoo-haa in less than nine months.

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