Not quite ttc but...

HowlCircus · September 2017

I'm here with a unique situation. After a loss and a nasty split with my SO. It's been quite a while and I've been with someone new. I've been happy. I still have my bad days missing my baby. My current SO is fully aware of my loss and what I've been through. He's great about communicating with me and acknowledging my trauma. The other day I had been feeling queasy and a bit off. I had taken my bc late a couple of days. I know this sounds crazy but I went and got a pregnancy test took one last week and it was negative. Took another today and was really sad to see another negative. As I said we aren't TTC but I felt just let down. I know I can't really express that too him because I know it would probably scare him. Just felt like maybe someone on here could understand my sadness.

ELeighMay · September 2017

I think you're seriously confused about which board this belongs in.

What I'm getting from this post is that you're disappointed that you didn't get a BFP from an unplanned pregnancy.
Because I've already gone BSC once today I'm going to just say, no. You cannot come in here and tell these women how sad you are about your unplanned negative test. These are women who are battling the most and the worst that you could throw at them to get their BFP. They've endured unimaginable loss and endless disappointment and do not need to deal with someone who is "sad, but not really trying".
I'm sorry, but no.

vlagrl29 · September 2017

I would not TTC with someone new you are with and your on BC so why come on this board. It's for ladies currently TTCAL.

dpjennifer · September 2017

HowlCircus I recognize your screenname from posting on the MC/Loss board. I can't relate to how you're feeling because our situations are totally different; however, I can understand how you would be upset from seeing negative pregnancy tests. MC is traumatizing. However, if you want to avoid that trauma, I'd definitely suggest temping. It will allow you to know when you ovulated, so you'll know if your period is actually late or if you just ovulated late. In your situation, I'd avoid taking a test like the plague. It will only bring up bad memories. Also, personally I really feel that you need to cement your new relationship and give it time before you try again. You still haven't gotten over the last loss, and a breakup on top of that. It's a lot to process and you haven't worked through it all yet. Don't rush the process!!!!

Mack2342 · September 2017

I agree with @dpjennifer

cseley321 · September 2017

Those memories and the sadness will always be present. You had a possibility of getting pregnant and it triggered those emotions. Just try and keep a level head. We all know losses are hard, but rushing into a baby when all parties are not ready is a really bad decision. I know it's tough, but just enjoy your new relationship and don't rush things!

HowlCircus · September 2017

@dpjennifer thanks for your response. Oh and I fully agree if I ever feel off again I'm going to avoid taking a test. I wasn't prepared or expecting to feel so upset. It hit me like a ton of bricks and broke down. I'm certain my loss is why my reaction was that was. I'll be thinking of you and I wish you all the luck in the world ❤️

As I stated I didn't know where to turn in a situation like this so I turned here. Maybe this isn't the perfect or right board to post on. It's not coming from a place of malice and I'm aware my situation isn't common. Also no I'm not trying to conceive with a new partner but previously suffering a loss and feeling sick and some other symptoms combined I decided to take a test in case. That led to feeling upset. This post was not made to distrespect anyone's journey on here and I always hope for the best for all of you. I came here so I wouldn't feel a sense of isolation. There's no neat place for my post (maybe I should have put it in the MC board). It doesn't make my feelings of loss any less real or valid. Taking a test triggered feelings I couldn't control. When a woman reaches out we should all support each other. This world isn't always kind or fair but I choose to be gentle with others. So I'm sorry and meant no disrespect xo

ELeighMay · September 2017

@HowlCircus My apologies for my response. I've been on a roller-coaster of my own and really should've just closed the tab rather than react at all, much less so harshly. Your post was ill-timed when I came across it, and again I apologize. We're all going through our own crazy battle on the other side of the keyboard that regardless of how we try to express ourselves no one else will truly understand what we're feeling. I'm very sorry for your loss, and can understand the unexpected disappointment by a BFN when you didn't even realize you'd be hoping for a different result. I also came here because I had no other support system in my life that understood the feelings I was trying to navigate. I am most certain there are people here that endure my posts when they're sick of seeing my name pop onto the screen. I've had several days when this is quite literally the only place I had to go when I needed someone...anyone. I hope your journey improves.

HowlCircus · October 2017

It's all good as you said we all are struggling behind the keyboard and this too has been the only place I could really turn where I felt others understood when I had my MC. I truly appreciate you reaching back out. I'm sure every woman on here has been frustrated at one point or another. I'm here if you ever need to vent. Lending an ear is sometimes the best this we can do for others and even ourselves. It allows us to all understand each other better. I'm sorry you've been struggling and I wish you all the best on your journey on here. Much love and respect

-Natalie

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