PAIF graduates - New Mommies - September

tvh1982 · September 2017

This thread is for those who have taken their little ones home.

A place to discuss the joys and struggles of being a new mom.

Feel free the open a new discussion at the beginning of a new month!

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

Hi everyone! First time mom to three and a half week old twin girls here. When did your babies start going longer than 3hrs between feedings?? By the time I change, feed, and burp each baby I have like an hour until the next feeding. During the day it's not so bad, but at night I could definitely use more sleep in between!

ARB425 · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 we recently changed our bedtime routine to include a bath and then a massage with lavender lotion every night. 75% of the time without soap just have her in the tub and run water over her. We play soft music during this and she has a bottle after. It has helped tremendously in her sleeping longer during the night. She usually will sleep anywhere from 5-7 hours initially,wake up, diaper change/feed and then back to bed for 2-3 hours.
During the day we aren't quite as lucky. She usually sleeps about 2-3 hours if we are lucky.

This weekend we are taking a 6 hour road trip for my cousins wedding. Does anyone have any tips for the car ride or at the hotel to make things a little easier. I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing but we can't really miss it because my cousin lives in Japan and is not in the US very often.

tvh1982 · September 2017

Hi @tiffanyw1783, to start I would say; have peace with it that it might not happen for a long time. Not to discourage you, but for me, once I accepted it, it was easier to handle.
My LO is 10 months now, at 7 months she still woke up twice, at 9 months once and only since the last 4 nights she hasn't woken up.
What you could start doing is to stop the changing and the burping at night. They are probably very relaxed when drinking so suck less air. My LO has silent reflux, yet does wonderfully without a burp at night. I don't change her either. The minimum I do, the faster I am back in bed.
Not sure if you breastfeed, breastfeed inbottle or formula. First and latter are 'easiest'. Breastfeeding; well all is ready. Formula; have cold water and boiling water in thermos next to your bed. Mix it to right temperature, add formula and feed. Less time consuming. I standard had 3 bottles with me. I actually fill 2 with boiling water and have one empty. The boiling ones cool down at night and are ready to use. Or I fill a ready to drink bottle (only water) and sleep with it. It keeps the right temperature, just have to add formula.
Jupp, I'm back in bed within 15min!

Routine helps, but boy are they difficult to start.
I decided I would do a routine, but would start whenever it suited us. It would be around the same time, but could vary. Once we had a routine down, I moved it to a fixed time (19:30-20:00), but still it may vary.
We start with a bath. Every evening. We use soap with a little oil. It's all natural and as my wee girl has cowsmilk allergy she had eczema, so she needed it. Now she's done with skin problems, but we keep bathtime.
After bath it's a little massage (don't use any kind of oil, but natural one or even olive oil. When massaging, you don't want all perfume and other stuff massaging in their skins)
The massage doesn't need to be long, just to wind down.
Put on her sleeping bag.
Give her a bottle and she goes down for the night.
Mind you, I only have one and thought it was a challenge. Find something that works for you and your babies. Something you don't mind doing EVERY night.

But honestly, skip the extra changing at night unless a poopy diaper. They will be fine. If you worry, put some special buttcream on their bums.

Ive travelled 11hrs by plane @arb425.
I have an active little girl who only slept twice 30 min.
For the car ride; have easy access to food, toys and changing equipment.
Cant remember how old your LO is, but plan some stops to stretch. But again, if she's happy, keep driving! So bring enough snacks for you and DH. You don't want to stop and then having a upset baby to get back in a car seat.
At the hotel; if you have, bring an inflatable bathtub. I have one at home and brought it with me. Best ever.
My LO sleeps well in her pack n play in the same room. If yours doesn't; use the bathroom as an extra bedroom. Unless you guys are pee-ers at night!

persnickity · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 we're able to get about 3.5 hours from the time we finish feeding/burping to the start of the next feeding at night. It's just been the last 4 days though. We started making sure she fed longer to help her stay fuller longer. And we also changed the temperature of the room. She sleeps better when it's just a little cooler, like 70-72 degrees.

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

Thank you guys! The babies get one formula bottle at night (at bedtime) for supplementation to help with weight gain then they get breast milk in a bottle. I exclusively pump and usually don't pump at night. They have poopy diapers at every diaper change so I don't know if I could go all night without changing them. Trying to get a routine is so difficult with two of them!! One decides she wants to sleep a little longer during the day and it messes the whole night routine up!! I'm gonna try the bath and massage tonight and see if that helps.

tvh1982 · September 2017

I change poopy diapers too, hopefully they soon move those to daytime

Definitely difficult with two. I thought one was difficult to get a routine with!
It eventually just 'clicks' with a routine, or that's what happened here.
Hang in there! It honestly does get better, I know it doesn't look like that. And my LO isn't a great example with her waking up (I just told myself, she loves me so much and also needs to see me at night

)
Maybe @ultratomato has some advice, she has two adorable twins!

ale9687 · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 at 12w ds started sleeping through the night. He was consistently taking 2 bottles during the night. Each night I would give him a little less in each bottle, like 1/4oz less all while increasing his daytime bottles. Eventually he just didn't need the nighttime bottles. Also transitioning into the crib helped a lot.

JWatt5 · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 - Parker was going 4 hours at night with us having to wake him up but this week it's more like 2-3 hours. I think he's cluster feeding a little bit but we also cut out our formula bottle at night (I had low supply and since that's up now he gets expressed breast milk - Hoping for a good weight gain to show it's been enough Thursday!) Having two is a whole other ball game - you're doing a great job! When I was on the plan with the LC of breastfeeding both sides, then top up bottle through finger latch/tube, then pump 20 mins - it felt like a revolving door. We had one feeding a night where we just did bottle. The bottle does make life easier - we've kept that at night because it's so much faster (Parker is a slow eater) & I stopped my middle of the night pump - I just do it before bed and then later in the am now. My doc basically said not to let him going more than 4 hours for the first 2-3 months depending on weight gain. After that, dependent on him. The formula defiantly helps keep them sleeping/full longer! You're doing everything you can!

Tulips29 · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 your babies are still so little, so it's normal that you're feeding/changing/burping them this often. I know it's hard but I agree with @tvh1982 that you just have to go with it. Routines are great, but I think it's hard to get them on a routine so early, especially if you feed on demand. We started with a routine at 3 months and it worked well for us. Aiden is 8 months now and can still sometimes wake up every 3-4 hours at night to eat.

@ARB425 hope you car trip went well and LO handled it well too!

kelrauh · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 your los are still little. My twins are almost 5 months and one sleeps through the night snd the other wakes up every 3-5 hours.

I havent updated in a while. Patrick abd Cecilia are going to be 5 months old this week. Cece is very petite and Patrick is a brute. He is over 4lbs more than her. Time sure has flown by. They are starting to be alot of fun and A lot less work. We officially started daycare today. I am so sad but excited at the same time. We had been using family members as daycare doe the past 4 months but now that summer isbover it was time to get the in daycare. We also changed our daycare provider last minute because someone I worked with in the past watches babies in her home and I was feeling uneasy about my provider before.

PoeMasque · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 i work with a lot of twin parents and at 3 weeks your schedule sounds very very normal. Twins are incredibly difficult, especially in the early weeks. Most of my families find that having someone to take shifts during the day so that mom/dad/partner can sleep is the only way they get any sleep. In general trying to get any infant to adhere to a sleep schedule before 6 mos is often a maddening/fruitless task. If you're breastfeeding, or even expressing and bottle feeding keep in mind that milk your body produces later in the day and at night has melatonin in it that actually helps baby sleep, so feeding milk pumped at night or BF at night should eventually help, but this early on most babies are still sleeping more during the day than at night.

Hang in there and ask for support!!!

tvh1982 · September 2017

I never knew that about melatonin in the breastmilk @poemasque!
its always nice to learn something new.
Not that I breastfeed, unfortunately I didn't managed to do so.

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

Wow! Thank you guys. It feels good to get reassurance!! Being a first time mom is so stressful!! We tried the bath and massage last night, didn't seem to change anything. But as long as there is light at the end of the tunnel we will make it! I only have 4&1/2 weeks until I have to go back to work so I'm hoping the sleep at night gets a little better. I'm a nurse practitioner with a neurosurgeon so I need some sleep to make good decisions and actually help my patients.

Colleen0516 · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 i feel your pain! Twins are hard. My twins are sleeping anywhere from 4-7 hour stretches at night. They are still very inconsistent and each baby is different.
They are both 10 weeks; Hannah is 11 lb 10 oz and Brayden is 12 lb 4 oz-- so their weights are different but not drastic.
I found that setting a routine helped them sleep a little longer. We bath, lotion, and then feed every night. We play classical music in the background to help soothe the babies- it's also a relaxation cue. I swaddle the babies before bringing then upstairs and We use white noise in the bedroom as a sleep cue. I also started using white noise during naps and notice they nap longer too.
My twins eat anywhere from 3-5 ounces every 2-4 hours. AGain- no concrete schedule yet but I am noticing signs of a scheudle forming. By 12 weeks I think we will get there.

The sleep deprivstion really kicks in but you learn to function with it. Take naps, lots of coffee (unless the caffeine effects your babies) and know that your going to get through it! I had a meltdown at 9 weeks bc I was SO tired and needed a break. Daddy stepped up and let me sleep a little more in the mornings while he tried his best to man the babies lol

Are you bottle feeding? Or breastfeeding? Or both?
Do you feed at the same time, or one at a time?

ARB425 · September 2017

Does anyone who pumps use the freemies with their pumps? If so, do you like them? Do you find it easier to pump and be more mobile? I just ordered them in hopes to be able to pump more and not feel confined to the couch. Plus it will make it easier to pump as a passenger in the car without whipping out my boobs infront of my family!

@tiffanyw1783 I agree with @colleen0516 above with her routine. That is exactly what we do and it seems to really help! It's not foolproof but I think it has helped her get her days and nights in order. Have you seen the video or read the book The Happiest baby on the block? It has a lot of great tips in establishing that routine. We have used that as our building block for sleep.

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

@Colleen0516 I pump and bottle feed, usually both at the same time, but they tend to get off schedule at times. We tried the bathing, lotion, then feed last night, but it didn't work. Both were very fussy and wouldn't go to sleep after their bottles. Thankfully my husband usually does the 230-3am feeding b/c he leaves for work at 345-4am so I do get a little sleep then. We just have to find what works for these two babies, who are extremely different!

janejane-2 · September 2017

@tiffanyw1783 - hang in there! I know you don't want to hear it but it does get better. I am the mother of 20 week old twins myself and somewhere around week 17 things started to just click. Before that I was like you feeding, burping, and changing every 2-3 hours. I was going nutty with sleep deprivation. Once the twins were around 15-17 weeks I stopped the diaper changes unless they were really bad. So far there hasn't been any repercussions (i.e. rash). I haven't changed a diaper in the middle of the night for a while now.

So here's a rough sketch of my schedule if you're interested. Around 7:30pm I put the twins in their Magic Merlin Suits, turn down the lights and start to feed them. [The suits are awesome! It has allowed me to have the boys in their cribs]. I usually pump and bottle feed though sometimes its formula and other times if one of my twins is really fussy I BF one while bottle feeding the other. If my husband is around he'll help with a bottle.) Anyways, the twins are usually asleep by 8pm and will stay asleep until around 1am/2am. I love the idea of bathing them at night but we've already established a routine that they get their bath in the morning. I am thinking of switching over. My sis babysat once and she bathed them at night and they slept through the night (!!!!!!!). I tried doing it the following evening with no success (oh well!) I might try it again.

One of my twins will usually wake up for a second feeding around 3am/4am. The other twin sometimes requires another feeding but not always. They are both usually awake around 6:30am. I am tired because since my husband works its up to me to wake up for the feedings. My twins do not usually wake up at the same time which I prefer because I get too frazzled to deal with them both together. (I know other twin moms will wake up the second twin to get the feeding out of the ways). How am I not going insane with sleep deprivation? I go to sleep early! LOL. Not at 8pm but not far behind my twins. Not ideal but thats what I do.

As others have noted each baby is different. One of my twins is a champion sleeper and the other is so tough to get to sleep. I pretty much have to hold him and find ways to trick him into his crib without waking up - the Magic Merlin suit has helped with this. (FYI my twins were premies so they didn't fit into the Magic Merlin suites until around 4 months).

I think you'll have less poopy diapers as they get a bit older so you can maybe start skipping the nightly changes. I would say that I started noticing around 15 weeks that the twins were sleeping a bit longer but by 17 weeks something just clicked and seems like they've bought into their routine. I did have a friend warn me to not get too attached to my schedule for the first 2 years b/c babies change. Her 1 year old who use to sleep suddenly started a new thing where she wakes up around 2am wanting to play LOL. Parenting is hard for all of us! Fingers crossed things ease up because trust me I know how you feel

Tulips29 · September 2017

@janejane-2 reading your schedule, I have no idea how you twin mamas stay sane. I thought being up all through the night with 1 baby was hard, but I can't imagine having 2 screaming babies to take care of. I give you all lots of credit for keeping it together!

persnickity · September 2017

I second Tulips29 on that. I have no idea how you manage with two!

Had my very first solo trip out of the house today. With restrictions still from the c-section, it took several trips to get everything all loaded up. Completely wore me out! It's the most physical effort I've done yet. But it felt so good to know I can do it.

Colleen0516 · September 2017

Another thing to consider is the adjusted time frame. My twins were born At 38 weeks so I don't have too much of an adjustment. A lot of the milestones go by due date so if your babies are 8 weeks old but we're born 4 weeks early, it negates out sometimes and they may still be sleeping and eating like are only 4 weeks old.

Weight plays a part too. Little babies can only eat so much so often and hold on it. From what I read, They need to be atleast 9-10 pounds to sleep through the night.

persnickity · September 2017

Tonight our little girl slept 7.5 hours, which worried DH. So he woke up her up just now to check on her. Her hands are cold, but the rest of her is nice and warm. Is she too cold or is this normal? She was in a short sleeve onesie, swaddled, with the room at 69 degrees.

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

I never thought about the adjusted time. Mine were born at 37 weeks so technically they should only have been here a week. I'm just not a patient person and I'm VERY CRITICAL of myself! It's really nice to have this forum that I can go to for advice.

Tulips29 · September 2017

@persnickity Isn't it funny that when you want your baby to sleep through the night, they don't. Then when they finally do, you worry and check on them to make sure they are ok. Every baby is different and mine likes to be nice and warm at night. His room is rather warm, around 74 degrees and he still sleeps in a short sleep onesie, long sleeve pj's and then a sleep sack. He'll still wake up with cold hands at times.

persnickity · September 2017

Thanks @Tulips29. It is funny how we seen to worry when they do the things we want them to. The night it was 74 in her room, she was up every hour nursing and fussy because she was so hot. Once we got the temperature figured out, she's been sleeping at least 3-4 hours at night. Last night was the coolest we've had the room and the longest she slept. Maybe she just likes to be cooler. Both DH and I like the cooler air at night, so it makes sense she might too.

tvh1982 · September 2017

My LO is 10 months and I still worry when she doesn't wake up at night!
The difference is that I don't wake up shocked in the middle of the night, just wake up in the morning all relaxed and then get a s*t is she ok feeling.
My LO always had cold hands (still very often) her room is pretty warm.
She sleeps in a sleeping sack and under a duvet (I know, she's too young for a duvet, but I'm a duvet lover and can't get my mind around that she wouldn't have one)
Babies tend to have cold hands. So try not to worry, feel their necks to see if they have the right temperature.

Oh and the wonder week app is definitely one I recommend. It'll tell you when a new leap is happening. It has been pretty spot on for us!

persnickity · September 2017

I was debating about getting the wonder week app. You're the third person to mention it this week @tvh1982. I'll have to go ahead and get it.

I would have done the exact same thing as you, woken up all rested and then freaked out. Her torso and head were both warm, so I think we're just going to have to mentally get past the fact that she had cold hands. She never keeps them in the swaddle either.

Tulips29 · September 2017

I love the wonder weeks app. It's pretty spot on for us as well. We're starting leap 6 in a few days, right as we're going on vacation. I'm nervous!

Mamas, when did your babes get their first teeth? We still have none in sight at 8 months and I'm afraid they'll start breaking out while we're away and we're all going to be miserable.

ale9687 · September 2017

Agree with everyone the wonder weeks app is great. Ds was 3.5 weeks early and his leaps seem to be lining up with his due date, but I've heard some kids follow their birth date or anywhere in between.

@tulips29 we'll be 6 months Sunday and all the signs of teething are there, but nothing yet. My niece is 8.5 months and is showing the same signs, even has the same cough but no teeth either. Bring lots of new toys to use as distractions. Ds loves the munchy mit and wet cold washcloths.

Has anyone started introducinf a sippy cup yet? If so at what age and how did you start?

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

Am I the only one with babies that aren't fans of being swaddled?? Both girls have to have their hands out or they get extremely upset!! Everyone says swaddling will help them sleep but not much help if they hate it! I thought all babies liked swaddling!

persnickity · September 2017

My daughter has to have her hands by her face and will more often than not put one of her arms out of the swaddle as she sleeps. We use these velvro swaddle me things, so the rest of her stays swaddled even if an arm breaks free.

tvh1982 · September 2017

Mine didn't like to be swaddled either. She needed her hands close to her face.
Everyone said I should, but I knew my LO better.
Mind you she often slept in a carrier (definitely at night) so her hands where 'stuck' between her and me. Close to her face yet not able to throw them around.
There are swaddles you can use that keep the hands up.

As for teething. Mine started at 6 months. At 10 months she has 6 and is currently growing two more. She's pretty ill and in pain. Didn't had to much trouble with the first four.
A munchkin with a cold apple is a hit. Teething toys in the cooler. Her amber necklace.

janejane-2 · September 2017

Hi mommas, looking to buy a white noise machine and am looking for recommendations.

My boys started teething around 16/17 weeks and by teething I mean just slobbering all over the place and biting at everything including their own arms. Pediatrician pointed out the "buds" where the teeth will grow. They are currently 21 weeks and no teeth in sight. I've heard they can come any time but usually around 6/7 months.

My boys had to have their arms out when they were swaddled.

JWatt5 · September 2017

Parker doesn't like being swaddled - has since about 5 days old. He prefers his arms out and legs having room to move. He's either in just a sleeper or a sleep sack now in the bassinet.

Noise maker wise - we have a Skip Hop Owl that gives a glowing light / some white noise sounds / songs. Or I'll use the Sound Sleeper app. We just started using white noise - DH and I sleep with a loud humidifier in our room already and so he's used to it. I'll rock in to sleep in the nursery with the noise maker on Ocean Waves

omarismyhomeboy · September 2017

Hey yall! I'm 1 week postpartum today with baby June. I have a question about how y'all deal with some of the anxiety of having a newborn- specifically, having so many visitors- obviously my parents and in-laws got the TDap but I'm not going to ask random friends who stop by for an hour or two to get it! Still, it really raises my anxiety. I'm in this very anxious period of counting down the days until she can get her 2 month vaccines! I know the risks are so so small but I think its just residual anxiety from infertility etc.

janejane-2 · September 2017

@omarismyhomeboy - congratulations!!! I was blunt and didn't let (well meaning) friends come over unless I knew they had the shot (mainly other newish mommas). Whoever came over I had hand sanitizer prominently displayed and offered it with a smiling face. I should add that my twins were premies and spent their first month in the NICU. This cut down wait time until their 2 month shot and I used the NICU-card to halt a lot of visitors. Nevertheless I kept it up until their 4 month shots, I'm now much more lenient though I am looking forward to their 6 month shots. Hope this helps. I wouldn't be afraid to have friends hold off until the 2 months shots. I think most people would understand that generally germs spread easily especially to newborns.

Alyeena · September 2017

@omarismyhomeboy Some level of anxiety for the first two or three weeks is perfectly normal and can definitely be worse after infertility but you should speak to your doctor about it if it lasts longer than that, postpartum anxiety disorder is very real and not fun at all. Better to get help sooner than later. In my case I thought like you that it was because of the infertility and then I waited a year and here we are now I am just finally admitting that I have a problem dealing with it and asking for help... I wish I had not waited for so long.

I would ask visitors to wash their hands before touching baby and not kiss her if they have not gotten the shots (I am in Canada and we don't get the TDap here so I don't know about asking people to get it but is it complicated? You could always just ask?)

PoeMasque · September 2017

@omarismyhomeboy it is absolutely OK to make sure any visitors have their TDaP before visiting! It's life or death to a newborn (I've seen it, grandma/grandpa doesnt even know they're sick and suddenly you have a baby in crisis in the ED). This is a situation where it's perfectly ok to go full on mama bear on friends and family

i also want to advocate for seeking help for post partum anxiety. It's a very real thing (even 1 in 9 men get post partum depression or anxiety) and you don't need to suffer alone or without treatment/help. Your community may have a support group that you can connect with or you can always contact postpartum support international (https://www.postpartum.net/).

persnickity · September 2017

We're mainly just limiting the people who hold her to immediate family, all of whom have had the shot. Plus everyone needs to wash/sanitize hands and no one with any signs of a cold can be close to her. Because she was born with a supressed immune system, we're going to be careful until she's 6 months.

Like others have said, talk to someone about the anxiety. Everyone thinks of post partum depression, but post partum anxiety is also something to keep an eye on.

tiffanyw1783 · September 2017

We are limiting visitors. The immediate family has all gotten the Tdap but I'm not going to ask other people to get the shot. Everyone that comes in the house washes hands and uses sanitizer and they are told not to kiss the baby. But we really don't like a lot of visitors

tvh1982 · September 2017

Never worried about that.
Everyone that visited got to hold my LO.
We were out and about once she was 2 weeks old.
At 3 months we flew and she attended a children's bday party where 11 girls gathered around her.
I've never heard of that shot (I'm from the Netherlands) So I'm a little extreme to most of you. Yet it's very common here.
My LO is a happy healthy little girl. Who has been ill, but mainly it's been together with teething.

PAIF graduates - New Mommies - September

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