Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL - week 8/27

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?


Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucketlist?

Re: TTCAL - week 8/27

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  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC in June 2017 (BO), and a CP in August 2017

    Status: WTO CD12

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    Things are getting better. DH and I met with my OB to discuss if we should stop trying and start testing, but he thinks we should give it another shot since TW** I've had a successful birth End TW**. But if I end up mc'ing again, we will start testing and take 2-3 months off. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I had my betas checked last Thursday and it came back negative.

    GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucketlist? I would love to go back to Paris and live it up a little. The last time I went I was backpacking and had a very tight budget.
  • @dragonette505 Sorry, I don't know that much about IVF, so what exactly will they be monitoring on Thursday?
    @catlady1215 I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow and you won't have to wait too long to get answers. I went through some genetic testing 4 years ago and the genetic counselor told me the results in the appointment. But I didn't need to get any bloodwork done, so that helped to speed things along.
  • @dragonette505 I also don't know much about the ivf process or what they monitor when. buuut i'm keeping everything crossed that everything looks good on Thursday! I'm excited for you!

    @chloandcoco --TW-- we had a successful birth almost 5 years ago, so that's a plus we have going for us also when it comes to this recurrent loss stuff. although we had a high chance of chromosome problems with him (no issues in the end) so my OB took that into account when I --end TW-- hopefully you just had some bad luck this summer and next time we go much better! fx for you!
    Can I ask about your apt you had back then? if they didn't do blood work, what did they give results on? just your medical history? we're walking in blind tomorrow.
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • @catlady1215 I'm hoping we just had bad luck over the summer too.
    The doctor asked us to give her the medical history from me, DH, siblings, parents, grandparents, cousins (luckily I only have a few), and where our ancestors came from. Since it had to do with a diagnosis that my cousins received, it wasn't directly tied to me and the doctor told us that we were at no greater risk than the general population. She did offer to push it further with blood work if we wanted, but she was confident that the results would come back negative anyway. A couple weeks after the appointment we received all her notes and a write-up in the mail, in case we wanted to pass the results on to our doctor. The appointment itself took about 1.5 hours.
  • @catlady1215 Great that you are getting that consult out of the way... DH and I did Counsyl genetic testing. It was a simple blood test and came back in a couple weeks. At the consult we had to answer basic questions about any genetic diseases in the fam (if we knew of any) and that was about it. I think unless you know you are high risk for genetic diseases, the consult is pretty simple.


    @ChloandCoco Awesome you get another go before getting all into testing!


    @catlady1215 @ChloandCoco Monitoring is when you go in regularly for bloodwork and ultrasound during an IVF cycle so they can see how many follicles you are growing and how big they are and to check your hormone levels to see if any of the meds I am taking need to be adjusted. I have to go every few days and then eventually maybe every day until retrieval when they put me to sleep and remove my eggs
  • @dragonette505 I hope they see lots of beautiful eggs at your monitoring appt! How are you feeling on all the meds? 
    @catlady1215 I'm sorry you are back to WTO, but glad you are heading into your appointment. It feels good to have a plan. 
    @ChloandCoco I'm glad you guys were able to have a good discussion with your OB. I really hope it's just been bad luck for you and YH. I know it has been really tough. TW I agree it seems like a good sign that you have had a live birth. end TW

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. TTC #1 since March of this year, MMC in June, CP in August. 

    Status: WTO. I am a little nervous to ttc before we start testing but I think our timing will not be great anyway (assuming FW is while MH is away this weekend) which is making me less nervous. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? 
    MH and I had a nice date night last night, dinner and then some non-procreation dtd.
    TW and also this got long:
    We have a pretty good sized friend group who are more than casual acquaintances but because we mostly only see them in a group setting I don't consider them very close. One couple in that group has had a lot of difficulty ttc. Because we are not super close all I knew about it was that they had gone through an mc and were thinking about IVF, but no details. I decided to reach out to the wife last week and just say how sorry I am that they have had trouble ttc and had an mc and that I have never really known what to say. I told her we have been going through a tough ttc time and I have had two losses and asked if she knows the clinic where we have been referred. I told her she absolutely could just not respond if she was having a hard time/just didn't want to get into it with me. She did respond and said she is familiar with the clinic and has heard of good outcomes there and would like to do dinner with me at some point soon. I am sad we are both having difficulty but glad to have an IRL friend to potentially talk to. 

    The best part of all of this was that her H reached out to mine after their weekly poker game and MH and hers talked a little about it and MH said it really helped him. I have been trying to get him to talk more to me/to a friend since the first loss and he just doesn't want to do it. I am really relieved to know he now has an potential outlet to talk about these issues with. 


    Any testing coming up/any recent results? We have an appointment with an RE on September 13. 

    GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucketlist? I would love to visit India and Japan. 
  • @zamora_spin that's so nice to have people to talk to irl!
  • @zamora_spin It's definitely really nice to have people to talk to irl, and it's great that your DH has someone to talk to too.
  • Hey guys, I haven't posted here much in the last month or two, but I'm feeling up to it this week, so here goes...

    @dragonette505, best of luck with the monitoring this week! I already worry too much about what is going on with my ovaries, but I don't know how I would handle it with so much attention from other people on my ovaries. 

    @catlady1215, glad you are able to get the ball rolling with the genetic testing. Keep us posted on what they decide to do, as this is something I'm interested in hearing more about what others go through.

    @ChloandCoco, sorry to see you back here (I can't remember if I said that to you already or if that was just in my head after reading your recent posts, so sorry if that's a repeat). I think waiting on the testing in your case is a good call, especially if it feels right to you.

    @zamora_spin, that's great that you've found a couple IRL that the two of you can talk to through this process, especially as you head into appointments with the RE. 

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Losses in September 2016 (omg, we're coming on a year already) and in March 2017. Both were missed miscarriages with exactly 4 weeks between the growth stopping and onset of the natural portion of the miscarriage.

    Status: TWW (4dpo?). 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    The good: Originally we were TTA this cycle (sister's wedding in spring and DH's job change), but when FW rolled around, neither of us felt right about preventing, and I think we might have either -1 or O timing (but not temping this cycle).
    The bad: I just can't get this genetic testing thing out of my head. After DH quit his job in July, we found out that our old insurance through his employer would actually have covered karyotyping on the two of us after 2 MCs, contrary to what my OB said was true. But we only found this out 2 days after that coverage ended, and our new insurance through my employer does not EVER cover genetic testing of the parents, no matter how many losses we might have. Nor does it cover any fertility/infertility costs. So if we ever get to needing an RE (I think we're at about 10 months right now), none of it will be covered. At all. Right now I'm just deeply regretting not getting the testing done and pushing it more with the OB a long time ago. The more and more I think about our loss patterns, the more it makes sense that there is a genetic issue, and we'll never know if it's an issue with us that can't be solved just by keeping on trying and failing. Please, talk me down from this panic. I don't think it helps that I work at a research institute known for genomics, so it's just always on my mind. (Also, I just need to find a friend that can do this analysis for me for cheap)
     
    Any testing coming up/any recent results? nope

    GTKY: Recently I've been wanting to take a hiking trip. Like, backpacking style. Imagine me as Reese Witherspoon in Wild. 

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @icecubeinthedesert Ugh. I'm so sorry that the insurance change has caused so much heartache and frustration. That is such a bummer you found out about the coverage after the fact. I don't know if this helps but I did a Counsyl test way back at my appt to have my IUD out and I was told that they limited the out of pocket to a certain dollar figure (like $99 or $199 or something). I don't know if what Counsyl tests is sufficient but I bet you know more about that than me given your work. I also think sometimes the diagnostic stuff is covered more than you would think if your RE codes the testing a certain way. I know with my RE they check before my first appt to figure out what is going to be covered and what isn't. I don't believe any treatment will be covered but I am hoping some of the testing is going to be covered, and we can sit down with a financial person to find out once we've had our consult. 

    It really sucks, but if at the end of the day all that would have been covered is genetic testing I don't think there will be *that* much of a difference to you financially if IF was not covered under the other plan. It also is not a lock that you or YH have a genetic issue - it could be genetics, or one of many other things, or, as we all hope, bad luck. On the other things cause, I have only recently realized (from stalking the MFI thread) that sperm could be able to fertilize an egg consistently but be fragmented such that they are causing mc, and I think that would only be seen on an SA, not a genetic screen.

    Also, it's not as good as coverage, but do you have an HSA? I have been putting a lot of money in mine this year because it's pre-tax dollars so I think of it as a built-in discount on uncovered stuff/deductibles. 
  • @zamora_spin, thanks for the rational talk. I specifically asked the new insurance about the testing with the codes our OB would use for it. No luck for coverage. I think the Counsyl only tests carrier risks, and we aren't at risk of anything really because our ethnic backgrounds don't overlap. I'm more worried about balanced translocations, but even there we have the possibility of having a healthy baby (with some trial and error) on our own, so I just need to keep remembering that. Worst case scenario, we do have coverage for genetic testing of any future lost baby, it just feels wrong to have to just let that happen. Plus, we tried that with our last loss and they didn't have enough tissue to do the test. And you're totally right about the SA component of it as well. 
    I don't have an HSA, but I do have an FSA which is pre-tax dollars, but must be spent out by the end of the year (with the exception of $500 that can carry-over to the next year).

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • Since I see you there, @starla, YGPM.

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @icecubeinthedesert I totally get the not wanting to just let it happen again.  There is a certain callousness in the medical community about mc's. I really marveled that the response was "well just go try again." Do you feel like you are ready to move to an RE? If insurance isn't going to cover it anyway does it matter if you have a referral? Just wondering these things aloud.
  • @zamora_spin, I think I'll wait until 3 MCs to go to an RE. Our OB is fine with referring me, even right after our 2nd loss, but I think that any visit there might not be covered at all, and I don't think there's much they can do in the way of treating me unless it's confirmed we carry a chromosomal problem and would have to go the IVF route. I might have considered it with DH's old job after a bit more waiting, but now he's taking a significant pay cut to start in a totally different career, and I don't know that we could save up for that OOP very quickly. I'm still under 35, so I guess the 10 months trying isn't "unusual" (other than the MCs).

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @icecubeinthedesert That makes sense. It is expensive and time consuming and in the end the testing (as I know you know) sometimes doesn't really reveal anything which, with RPL usually would just equal, keep trying, anyway. I sure hope the third pregnancy is the charm and you don't need a referral at all. 
  • You too, @zamora_spin, you too (and to the many others here)

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @dragonette505 grow little follicles grow! oh they put you to sleep for egg retrieval? I was always curious about that... and how it felt. but glad you're out!

    @Zamora_spin so glad to hear you found someone to really talk to who is going through similar times. I think it def helps!

    @icecubeinthedesert I have no advice on REs and insurance and all that. but just wanted to say I'm sorry for the tough insurance situation. :( that's awful you found out right after he lost that insurance. I completely agree it feels wrong to just let another loss happen to get testing. I think I'm in a similar situation now.


    AFM, we had the genetic consult today. and I'm furious. nurse was great... said 'oh yah they'll go over that and that. and probably recommend that', I felt good. then the dr came in. nothing. Doesn't think it's this. Or that. No chromosome testing. Because my first loss had no tissue testing done....it was almost like it meant nothing to him.
    And TW...
    And because we have a healthy almost 5 yr old. Eveeeen though I told him I was 30 at the time, and blood tests came back with my chances of chromosome problems being 1in20 then 1in100. (Chances of a 42 yr old I was told)
    END TW

    My main concern going in there was quality issues... for either of us. I could barely ask about it without getting this smirk like 'no' from him. I bring up anything I read in ISWAE, I get the smirk.
    my recommendations? Ask my endo to recheck my TSH, lower my vitamin D(which I never heard of) and do another A1C on me. All stuff that is common sense to my endo and she's on top of.

    so basically I told DH, it's ok. I'll go by advice in the book for now. And Im 35. So I have this cycle and one more after then we hit 6. Maybe a RE will give more thought into anything else going on.


    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • @catlady1215 what kind of doctor is this? so weird! I would get a second opinion anyway at some point...nd yes, they put you to sleep but only for about 15 minutes with like propofol. But you have an anesthesiologist on hand any time you get put out and its in a real surgery room (though in a clinic). I have heard of women in some clinics in the UK being AWAKE (though with serious pain meds) as they stab through your uterus and suck out eggs... no ma'am!!! Knock me out!!

  • @catlady1215, that's really frustrating. Was it an OB or PCP?

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @dragonette505 and @icecubeinthedesert this was a maternal fetal medicine specialist/perinatologist.

    awake in the UK?! get the heck outta here. Nooooo thank you!!
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • @icecubeinthedesertI'm sorry you are having a hard time with your new insurance. And trying again one more time is probably the best way to go about all of this. 
    @catlady1215I'm really sorry the doctor didn't take any of your concerns seriously, but hopefully when you get a referral to see an RE, s/he will be on your side.
  • Status: Benched

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Status:
    Sorry this post is late, I was in Portland, Oregon visiting some friends and so I wasn’t online much. I had a great vacation and am meh to be back at work today. But looking forward to a long holiday weekend!

    GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucketlist? New Zealand. Or maybe Austria.

    catlady1215 Sorry the consult went poorly. I’d say you need a second opinion. That doctor sounded like a stuck-up quack. I HATE when specialists treat you like a moron, even when you’ve done extensive research and are clearly there for their expertise anyway.

    ChloandCoco Good luck with trying again. I know it’s not always helpful to hear it, but I’ve spent 2 years on this journey (mostly on the TTCAL board), and I can say that so many people have traipsed in and out of that group, I don’t even remember all of their screen names. MOST women have their 1 MC and go on to have a successful PG the next time around. Sometimes there will also be a CP before they get their rainbow, but still a success early on. Most of them are on the boards 2-8 months, and then they move on to their BMB and never return. (which is great. For them.) I, unfortunately, am the exception. There are a few of us. But it’s not the rule. Especially with a live birth already under your belt, statistically speaking from what I have actually seen, you should be fine. (I hope that’s a comfort, even if it’s not a guarantee). If for some reason you do end up being the exception, there are some of us who’ve walked similar paths, willing to help you along your way!

    @icecubeinthedesert Hope you’ve already been feeling better about the testing but if not, I’m here to talk you down! So, I’ve had 4 early losses and thought we may have a genetic problem as well. We had the karyotyping done and it told us diddly squat. We have no problems that would cause genetic losses. Don’t give up. Maybe the insurance will change their policies, or maybe you can find a different place to go for it (like, something that has a discount or whatnot). I also second the Counsyl test as an option. I know they do a thing where if your insurance won’t pay, your amount is less? But our insurance co-pay ended up being less than what they charged (I think like $300 a piece). YOU Can get it done (just you) and if yours comes back fine then your DH wouldn’t even need it done. If you end up with a wonky result, then they recommend testing DH.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    I had a MMC at 14 weeks in 2/12 . I am currently experiencing another m/mc right now at 9 weeks.
    Status:. 
    Benches. TW, I am technically still pregnant, 
    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    Not good.  I am very impatient to start trying again, but it will probably be a few weeks
    Any testing coming up/any recent results?
    I have to have ultrasounds and blood work in a few weeks
    GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucketlist?

    I don't really have one, but I would love to travel Europe.
  • holly321  Sorry you're going through this again. It's awful. Has your doctor benched you for a while? Also, are you considering RPL testing? 

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @holly321 The words don't really seem big enough. I am so sorry for your loss and that you are back here under these circumstances. I completely understand wanting to try again right away, I hope you get to soon. Hugs to you. 
    @catlady1215 I'm sorry for that horrible appt. I hope you get some answers soon. Do you have any other appts or testing coming up? 
    @dpjennifer I'm glad you had a fun trip. Portland seems really cool. I always here there are famous donut places there, did you have donuts? 
  • zamora_spin YES donuts are apparently a way of life there! Actually, I think that FOOD is a way of life there. LOL. We had these bite-size donuts from a food truck (food trucks are apparently also a thing there). They were amazing. I had this ghirardelli chocolate one with this cream stuff on top.  Mmmm.....

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @holly321 I'm so sorry you are back here and I completely understand wanting to start trying again right away. **hugs**
    @dpjennifer It's always hard to come back to reality especially if you are having an awesome girls weekend with amazing food. But it's nice that you have a short work week before a long weekend.
  • Silly question, what are your options if you have testing and find something wrong?

    @dragonette505, hope your appointment went well today.
    @zamora_spin , I am glad you found someone to talk to.  It feels so isolating and alone without it.  And thank you.
    @catlady1215 , I am sorry the appointment went so poorly.  Is there any chance of getting a second opinion.
    @icecubeinthedesert, that must be frustrating with the insurance changes. 
    @ChloandCoco , FX for trying again, and yay for betas being back to zero.
  • @holly321 I'm so sorry this is happening. :( I just have no words.

    For you girls that mentioned the second opinion. I'm not to sure how I'd go about that. Because I work in a health system, I'm limited on who I can go to (with it being covered). I know there's another office, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same doctors. And it took a month for 1st available at this one so it could be a longer wait for the other. Debating if we just wait for the RE.
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • Totally thought I had posted here, but I opened it and never posted...oops

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    MMC March 2017, Benched March-Mid July - now we are back in the game!
     

    Status: TWW

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? 
    I'm feeling really calm right now, which has not been the case for the las few months TWW, so there is that. DH has been flying this week to help with Hurricane Harvey relief work, so I've been spending a lot of time alone, so I'm picking up new hobbies to keep my mind busy. To maintain my calm and occupy my mind during this TWW and the future, I'm going to start a D&D campaign (or as MH calls it "go full on nerd") so that should help. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I had a hemorrhagic cyst on my left ovary that was causing pain a few months ago, it had shrunk but was still present 2 months later, and now I am feeling the pain again, so I am hoping it goes away or I may have to go back in to get it looked at.

    GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucketlist? Definitely traveling, more specifically going to the UK and Ireland. 
    TTGP October siggy 



    ***TW Living child and loss mentioned***

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    13 March 2017: Loss at 4+6


  • @zamora_spin that's great that you have someone IRL to talk to about this. I've found it amazing how after I had my loss, I suddenly learned of a bunch of my family that also went through losses but never talked about it. It's still too soon for me to talk about mine, but comforting in a way to know you're not alone. 

    @icecubeinthedesert that sucks about the insurance issues. I hate how picky insurance companies can be about what they will or won't cover. 

    @catlady1215 that dr sounds like a complete jerk. I would definitely look for someone else and a second opinion from someone with decent bedside manner. Not sure how it would work if you're limited in who you could see, but I'd at least try to get another dr in that practice if possible. 

    @dpjennifer yes donuts and food in general are a way of life here... did you get to try blue star? Those are my favorite donuts! 

    AFM...

    Status: Still benched for now. Waiting for my first post D&C AF...

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? 
    Its been 4 weeks now since my D&C, and I feel like I'm starting to be ok. I still have a hard time when I see pregnant women (or when my coworker who just had a baby two weeks ago texts me pictures of her baby), but I'm looking forward to trying again when I'm off the bench. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I *think* my HCG might finally be back to zero, because the last time I POAS, it was basically stark white. Yay, I guess? 

    GTKY: What's the top thing on your bucket list? I would love to see the northern lights one day... 


  • @icecubeinthedesert I'm sorry you are having issues with insurance. Can you write an appeal for extenuating circumstances? I'm not very familiar with private health insurance, so mostly all I can say is, I'm sorry, that sucks, and you are completely validated in your frustrations, but try not to dwell on it too much until the doctor orders the testing.

    @zamora_spin I'm so happy you were able to find someone IRL to talk to about your losses and TTC troubles, as well as it leading to support for YH. Right after my MC, I was talking to a friend (a relatively good friend but not a great one) who's husband had just deployed with mine. I can't remember how it came up, but I ended up telling her that I had had a MC the week before, she told me she had had one 2 months before (we both cried), and the most amazing part, was that she told her husband who was able to reach out to MH down range and be that support for him as well (before that he didn't have anyone to talk to because no one knew we were trying let alone that we had conceived then lost it). As helpful as I find these forums, it really does help to have a physical person to talk to.

    @catlady1215 I'm sorry doctors can be jerks. And sometimes you have to be your own biggest advocate. There should be a patient advocate office that you can call and complain. They may be able to get you in with a different doctor, or at least remind him that he is there to take care of the patients and listening is a big part of that. I understand it can be frustrating when patients self diagnose using Dr Google, but that is not the same thing as coming in prepared with literature and there is never an excuse to belittle a patient.  

    @dpjennifer I love a good food truck! Did you have anything besides the donuts. 

    @holly321 I don't have the words to explain how am so sorry you are experiencing this. It sucks. 

    @pumpkinpancake I'm sorry and I understand the struggle you get when you see PG women, it gets easier with time, but there are still moments where I struggle.  I'm not sure if your co-worker knows you had a MC, but it is ok to tell her that you are happy for her, but can't see the pictures right now. She will hopefully understand.  Please be kind to yourself, your number one priority should be self care.
    TTGP October siggy 



    ***TW Living child and loss mentioned***

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    13 March 2017: Loss at 4+6


  • @holly321 On your question on testing and what do you do if there is a problem - I am not an expert and I hope others weigh in but I didn't want to see your question get buried.  Do you mean if the testing shows a genetic problem? 
  • @holly321 Well, it really depends on what (if anything) they find, as to what steps you can take or even what's available.

    @catlady1215 Could you maybe see another doctor in the same practice? It sounded like the nurse you saw was fine, but the doctor himself was not good. 

    @pumpkinpancake I did not try those particular donuts. I'll have to my next trip!

    @MrsBunz I didn't have anything from a specific food truck. But I did go to an indoor market and had some things there. :)  And ate at a lot of smaller hold-in-the wall type of places. 

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • Thanks @zamora_spin and @dpjennifer.  We had been considering seeing a genetic counselor before I found out I was pregnant again.  DS has so many health issues, and DD has some issues too.  DS is autistic and we suspect she is too.  Not that I am saying another autistic child is a big deal, just curious about if there is something "wrong" on DH or my end.

    But, DS did have karotyping and fragile x testing and it was all normal, so I doubt there is anything that would show up.
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