Discipline discussion

adiaz132003 · August 2017

Oh boy tantrums and toddlers go together like peanut butter and fluff. This thread is for us to discuss different ideas and seek advice on discipline for our LOs as time goes on and techniques change as they age. I know it can be touchy for some cause parenting style varies but consider this a judgement free zone where you can get ideas and ask for help in dealing with these wild kiddos.

adiaz132003 · August 2017

So we had Preston's cousin here to visit and he's 2 and in full terrible twos mode. He gets time out but it got me thinking how do I handle Preston when he's acting up. He's currently in the "I want what you have" phase, which sucked cause his cousin is in the "everything is mine" phase. I try to say no and distract but he is so persistent to take what he can't have. Any ideas. He's gonna see his cousin again on Saturday

artlea2013 · August 2017

Unfortunately no suggestions, just commiserating. We went to a 2 year olds birthday party on Saturday and the exact same thing happened. Miles saw a cool new toy and tried to pick it up, but the 2 yo gave him some really shady stares and took everything out of his hands. To be fair, they were his, but he did not want to share. Distraction was the best we could do until we left

lm45678 · August 2017

I took Savannah out to lunch today and she was AWFUL!!!!!!! I normally have such a good baby, not sure what happened. I literally started crying at one point because I was so embarrassed and stressed out. The terrible twos have started early!

meggyme · August 2017

I've been trying to keep to Janet Lansbury's methods. She has a great book called No Bad Kids that I read. Some of it's a bit too much (like asking your infant for permission to change their diaper) but the part about our kids' tantrums being about feelings they don't understand is interesting and so far I can sometimes talk Jackie off the edge of a tantrum by trying to validate her feelings and put words to them.

vintagevix2016 · August 2017

My husband, being the techie that he is, has quite the entertainment system set up and OF COURSE when we were pre-baby, getting an open-faced entertainment center thingie for everything was a grand idea.

Damien loves buttons and knobs so you can imagine he's all about messing with everything and it drives my husband crazy. We usually try to distract him with something more interesting but as many of you know, our LOs can be pretty persistent. We're still at the firm, "That's not your's, please don't play with it because XYZ," stage.

When we take something away from him, I try to do the ole "swap out" but sometimes it doesn't work. His tantrums are pretty epic but extremely short most of the time. Honestly, I have a really hard time not laughing because his tantrum antics can be pretty wild. I'm doing my best to be understanding though and use a firm tone along with validation language. Hey might not get it now and who knows if it will make any difference as he continues his venture into toddlerhood but it's worth a shot.

I may change my tactic as time goes on and as he continues to develop.

adiaz132003 · August 2017

meggyme said:

I've been trying to keep to Janet Lansbury's methods. She has a great book called No Bad Kids that I read. Some of it's a bit too much (like asking your infant for permission to change their diaper) but the part about our kids' tantrums being about feelings they don't understand is interesting and so far I can sometimes talk Jackie off the edge of a tantrum by trying to validate her feelings and put words to them.

I did this earlier. Preston started throwing a tantrum cause he wanted one sippy cup o er another and I said no cause the one he wanted was broken. He started stomping his feet and whining so I sat on the floor in front of him and "I know you really wanted that cup but it's broken, let' me give you a hug to make you feel better and I'll out the broken one away". He calmed down as I spoke and even though he fussed again when I put the cup in the cubbard, it was very short and he coped well so I said "good job in staying calm. Let me read you a happy book" and he was all good.

vintagevix2016 · August 2017

meggyme said:

I've been trying to keep to Janet Lansbury's methods. She has a great book called No Bad Kids that I read. Some of it's a bit too much (like asking your infant for permission to change their diaper) but the part about our kids' tantrums being about feelings they don't understand is interesting and so far I can sometimes talk Jackie off the edge of a tantrum by trying to validate her feelings and put words to them.

I read that as "Angela Lansbury" and was very confused.

I actually haven't heard of that book but definitely am all about the validation. It was something we learned in my psychology of child development classes in college and it really stuck with me. I think it's important for all relationships and worked with my husband on it when we started dating (still a work in progress but he's much better with it now).

meggyme · August 2017

vintagevix2016 said:

meggyme said:

I've been trying to keep to Janet Lansbury's methods. She has a great book called No Bad Kids that I read. Some of it's a bit too much (like asking your infant for permission to change their diaper) but the part about our kids' tantrums being about feelings they don't understand is interesting and so far I can sometimes talk Jackie off the edge of a tantrum by trying to validate her feelings and put words to them.

I read that as "Angela Lansbury" and was very confused.

I actually haven't heard of that book but definitely am all about the validation. It was something we learned in my psychology of child development classes in college and it really stuck with me. I think it's important for all relationships and worked with my husband on it when we started dating (still a work in progress but he's much better with it now).

Haha! That's the image I have when I read her stuff. It's a good book and addresses lots of specific challenges like not eating or challenges during potty training. She also has a fb page that I follow where she addresses specific questions, and a blog and podcast I haven't checked out.

vintagevix2016 · August 2017

meggyme said:

vintagevix2016 said:

meggyme said:

I've been trying to keep to Janet Lansbury's methods. She has a great book called No Bad Kids that I read. Some of it's a bit too much (like asking your infant for permission to change their diaper) but the part about our kids' tantrums being about feelings they don't understand is interesting and so far I can sometimes talk Jackie off the edge of a tantrum by trying to validate her feelings and put words to them.

I read that as "Angela Lansbury" and was very confused.

I actually haven't heard of that book but definitely am all about the validation. It was something we learned in my psychology of child development classes in college and it really stuck with me. I think it's important for all relationships and worked with my husband on it when we started dating (still a work in progress but he's much better with it now).

Haha! That's the image I have when I read her stuff. It's a good book and addresses lots of specific challenges like not eating or challenges during potty training. She also has a fb page that I follow where she addresses specific questions, and a blog and podcast I haven't checked out.

Neato, I'll have to check it all out.

adiaz132003 · September 2017

vintagevix2016 said:

meggyme said:

vintagevix2016 said:

meggyme said:

I've been trying to keep to Janet Lansbury's methods. She has a great book called No Bad Kids that I read. Some of it's a bit too much (like asking your infant for permission to change their diaper) but the part about our kids' tantrums being about feelings they don't understand is interesting and so far I can sometimes talk Jackie off the edge of a tantrum by trying to validate her feelings and put words to them.

I read that as "Angela Lansbury" and was very confused.

I actually haven't heard of that book but definitely am all about the validation. It was something we learned in my psychology of child development classes in college and it really stuck with me. I think it's important for all relationships and worked with my husband on it when we started dating (still a work in progress but he's much better with it now).

Haha! That's the image I have when I read her stuff. It's a good book and addresses lots of specific challenges like not eating or challenges during potty training. She also has a fb page that I follow where she addresses specific questions, and a blog and podcast I haven't checked out.

Neato, I'll have to check it all out.

Ditto

Delitachan · September 2017

My LO gets a stern "NO" from me when he throws objects from the grocery cart. Everytime I tell him no, he shakes his head and grins. Hoo boy.

Delitachan · September 2017

Anyone else's LO already melting down for stupid things? My son was shrieking this morning yesterday because he wanted milk. Just put his head down on the table and wailed with shrieking. You'd have thought his favorite pet died.

meggyme · September 2017

Delitachan said:

Anyone else's LO already melting down for stupid things? My son was shrieking this morning yesterday because he wanted milk. Just put his head down on the table and wailed with shrieking. You'd have thought his favorite pet died.

Jackie's been doing that. Especially in the evenings.

bankssl1 · September 2017

Evenings for us have been ROUGH since Jack started day care. He only takes a short afternoon nap so I know he is exhausted BUT he has numerous meltdowns a night and it makes me feel so bad for him. We've moved dinner and bedtime up but it doesn't seem to help much..

meggyme · September 2017

@bankssl1 that's kind of where we are too. Some days are better than others, but lately she's been waking up up to an hour before we need to (5 vs 6) and its killing me. We've been doing CIO and I thought she would have gotten the message, but she's still not sleeping in until she used to. It's killing me. we've moved bed time forward and backward with no real consistent change.

vintagevix2016 · September 2017

@bankssl1 Damien would often pass out on the commute home after daycare from only having 1 nap. I still don't think he's quite ready to drop the nap but he's adjusted to the 1 nap schedule so it hasn't been bad in the evenings anymore. It took a couple of weeks to get back to normal though. On the weekends, he still has 2 naps but we really don't see a difference in temperament between a 1-nap day and a 2-naps day. We just put him down when he shows signs of being tired. My guess is that he's so busy at daycare that he doesn't notice how tired he is until it's naptime.

bankssl1 · September 2017

On the weekends Jack is waking up a little later, about 8 and taking two 2 hour naps a day so I know he's a tired guy!
@vintagevix2016 - Jack would totally fall asleep on the way home if it were longer.. its about a 30 second drive

meggyme- I can't believe she is waking up that early! That would kill me too.. When I wake Jack up in the morning he is in the absolute worst mood.. he got that from me, not a morning person.

This is just a phase, right?!

adiaz132003 · September 2017

We just got back from vacation and he had an ear infection while we were in Maine so his night sleep really sucked but his naps I swear we're better in the pack n play than when we came home. He's been hardcore cranky and clingy too. We changed up our discipline strategy cause it seemed that he wasn't reacting as well to it. Since changing a couple things he responds so much better.

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