So tired of people constantly asking how I'm feeling. I'm not dying, but obviously this isn't very fun or comfortable. Unless you're going to offer to clean my bathrooms or something useful when I tell you I'm tired and it's hard to do stuff, stop asking.
@lilpoots I agree on the metric system. They tried to switch the US to metric in the late 70's and again (although less so) in the 90's but apparently learning how to divide things by 10s is just too much. Some foolish legislators even proposed a ban on metric highway signs in 1992. We're basically the world's mathematical village idiot. So, go us
**TW**
Me & DH: 32 Married 2013 Kiddo #1: Sept 2015 BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
So tired of people constantly asking how I'm feeling. I'm not dying, but obviously this isn't very fun or comfortable. Unless you're going to offer to clean my bathrooms or something useful when I tell you I'm tired and it's hard to do stuff, stop asking.
Truth. It just seems like a dumb ass way to start a conversation. It's summer, I have a 17 month old and I am 37 weeks pregnant. How do you think I am feeling?
So tired of people constantly asking how I'm feeling. I'm not dying, but obviously this isn't very fun or comfortable. Unless you're going to offer to clean my bathrooms or something useful when I tell you I'm tired and it's hard to do stuff, stop asking.
Truth. It just seems like a dumb ass way to start a conversation. It's summer, I have a 17 month old and I am 37 weeks pregnant. How do you think I am feeling?
And it's always the same people asking every day. Try a little bit harder with your conversations?
If you ask how I am, I'm 100% going to give you a true and honest answer.
How am I feeling? "I'm so tired I was afraid I was actually going to fall asleep behind the wheel this morning. I haven't had a solid night sleep in at least 6 months and I know I can expect roughly another year of that. I feel like a terrible mom because I don't play with my kid as much as he deserves since I just want to pass out the second my feet cross the threshold to our house. Did I mention that I let him have cookies for breakfast because I didn't have the energy to fight that battle? Speaking of our house, it's hot mess because I haven't been able to get myself going to clean it in god knows how long. My belly weighs a million pounds and is seriously throwing off my center of balance. I get winded walking up the three steps to our house. My ankle makes this weird clicking sound every time I walk. My belly button is super sensitive to touch and even just wearing a loose shirt is kind of uncomfortable. I've been craving a giant chunk of raw tuna for 8 months now and apparently when you're pregnant you're not supposed to eat a lot of raw tuna. I can't focus on anything and I think my work is starting to suffer. I'm freaking out about paying for another kid when we barely make ends meet as it is. Thank you for asking."
And am I excited about this baby? "Did you not just hear how I'm doing? I'm excited to not be pregnant anymore. But I'm seriously starting to question my decision making capabilities, if you must know."
It's a little dramatic, but honestly sometimes that's my sentiment. And the poor people who've asked me on the wrong day have gotten the full rant.
**TW**
Me & DH: 32 Married 2013 Kiddo #1: Sept 2015 BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
So tired of people constantly asking how I'm feeling. I'm not dying, but obviously this isn't very fun or comfortable. Unless you're going to offer to clean my bathrooms or something useful when I tell you I'm tired and it's hard to do stuff, stop asking.
Truth. It just seems like a dumb ass way to start a conversation. It's summer, I have a 17 month old and I am 37 weeks pregnant. How do you think I am feeling?
And it's always the same people asking every day. Try a little bit harder with your conversations?
I could tell them how I vomited all over myself and nearly all over my daughter this morning. But in an effort to miss puking on her, I managed to get it in the following places: the wall, her changing table, the floor, the lamp and the toilet seat. I then had to clean it all up. I could tell them I can barely walk today, yet I still have to play with my darling little daughter who has no idea why mommy isn't feeling like herself.
UO : I like people asking me how I'm feeling. I don't get it a lot I guess and it makes me feel like people are trying to connect with me. Everyone knows pregnancy is uncomfortable especially in this stage but they are trying to open dialogue.
@kaylaakosua that makes sense to me. I don't mind when people who actually care ask. I'm just tired of the assholes who ask and follow things up with, "if you think you're (insert adjective here) now, just wait."
@kaylaakosua I actually don't really mind it either, at least not anymore than I hate the "how are you" question in general. It's become such a social norm to just ask even if you don't care.
Maybe that's my UO. I don't like people asking me how I am. Period. Ever. Unless they actually care, in which case they wouldn't mind hearing my rant (although I do feel somewhat bad for unloading on them). And I've always been the kind of person who gives an honest answer to that question. I've had more than one occasion where someone asked how I am as we are passing in the hallway, I responded "not so good, actually," and they just kept walking like they didn't hear the actual words that came out of my mouth. Those people don't legit care. They're just making pointless small talk.
**TW**
Me & DH: 32 Married 2013 Kiddo #1: Sept 2015 BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
I hate when strangers ask me if I'm ok. Not how I'm doing, but if I'm ok. I guess I must have a look on my face that says I'm not ok, because I am asked every other day or so by a stranger if I'm alright! Ugh.
@kleshelle I don't recall being annoyed by then my first pregnancy but this time around they are almost irritating. I try to remember that it's likely my last pregnancy and I should enjoy them but when they occur multiple times a day it's distracting!
I drop DS off in the stroller, and DH picks him up on the bike, so I push an empty stroller home every morning (and sometimes pick up groceries or run other errands). Every day at least one person tells me I've forgotten my child, or asks if I'm practicing. I can barely keep myself from rolling my eyes. It wasn't funny the first time, and it's still not funny...
@kmac1982, I also walk my son to preschool and I have been getting this daily. As well as comments from people about why my son is still going to school now that I'm on maternity leave....
is it just my MIL or has anyone else MIL set up a nursery in their house. My MIL has a crib and rocker at her house which I think is weird. She has also told me she is taking 2 weeks PTO after baby is born to be available and to top it all off she keeps buying stuff without asking us example yesterday I got a text that she bought us a tub since we didn't have one last time we spoke to her which was a week ago well since then we have bought one ourselves and she is telling me when the tub comes that she bought I can go return and get what I need...... I am annoyed!
@bnmort8 oh wow... I have heard of grandparents doing that (even to the extent of having a "grandma shower" where people buy baby stuff for the grandparents). We live overseas and so when we are at our parents' houses, it will be for weeks at a time and they're not even getting cribs and stuff...my family will probably have a play pen or something for the baby to sleep in, and idk what the ILs are planning for their place. They're definitely not setting up a full nursery though.
Buying stuff without asking is par for the course, I think. As long as they're not offended if you don't want it, I don't see any harm done (other than them having to go out of their way to return the stuff or wasting money on doubles that aren't really necessary).
But the 2 weeks off is over the top imo. That's more than most fathers get in the States, is it not?! It could be a nice gesture for her to say, "hey, I'd be able to take up to 2 weeks PTO after the baby is born, so let me know if you'd like me to be available for extra help" rather than just telling you she IS taking it, which then puts pressure on you to "make use of her time" so to speak, whether you want her help or not
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@bnmort8 My Mil! Both our parents have a room in their house for grandkids. But this isn't their first so that doesn't bother me. They both have a pack and play for baby also. I just hope they realize we won't be leaving baby all the time with them. However my MIL keeps buying stuff we do not want or need. She keeps going to yard sales and buying toys and stuff. Most of it is for a baby 1 and up and I also do not want to store it until the kid is old enough. I made the suggestion they would be great stuff for grandparents houses and she still just dropped it off. Between Christmas and Birthdays our kids are spoiled from having a large family we really do not need all these extras. It is nice of her to think of us but I keep telling her all we need is baby at this point and we are team green so to wait if she wants to buy clothes. No one listens.
Prodromal labor can just kiss my ass. I am 39+4 and last night was having contractions every 7 min that were 45-60 secs long and went for a walk where they got much more intense. I came back home to take a small nap before heading to the hospital and they went to 15 min apart then 30 min apart then I had them all night an hour or more apart so here I sit still pregnant af
@BigBadWolf12 Thank you!!! I knew I couldn't be the only one thinking this is crazy and so extra for her to be acting like that! I don't mind her buying stuff here and there but she has been buying stuff this whole pregnancy without asking and expecting us to use it.. like buying useless stuff as well which then I have to return. I have talked to my husband about this and told him he needs to sit down and talk to her because once this baby comes my only care is for our child and if I have to hurt someone feelings I will but I rather not do that since me and my MIL have a decent relationship. My husband only gets two weeks time off to spend with me and the baby (mainly with baby lol) so we have both agreed we rather spend that time just as a family since it will be so short. If she would have asked us we would have told her that but as you can tell she just does what she wants and then will probably be mad when we don't invite her over.
@bnmort8 oh man, if that's the only time your H gets off, definitely don't feel pressured to have her over a lot. GL dealing with her! Hopefully she understands and doesn't get her nose out of joint not sure if this would do more harm than good, but if your H could casually mention something about your plans to just be your immediate little family while he's off, it might give her a chance to change her work plans and not take that time off for nothing. I don't know your MIL though, so it might not even be worthwhile to try to save her the time off if she'll just get offended and make your 2 weeks worse...
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@BigBadWolf12 yeah I have mention to him about talking to her so hopefully he does and it helps lol only time will tell thank you for advice!!!! This mama bear is going crazy lol
@bnmort8, I feel you. My Mil purchases things all the time for my older son without asking. It got to the point where she was overstepping her boundaries and buying him gifts like Easter baskets when I specifically had told her that I wanted to put something together for him. We had a pretty bad blow up on Easter about this. So, I'm trying to pick my battles with this baby girl, but it is already proving difficult. For example, I believe that getting baby shoes is entirely pointless and told her that. But, guess what she brings on her next visit? Best of luck in dealing with mother-in-law. I think the best thing is to be as straightforward as possible.
@coastalmomma-2 oh no!!! I can see my future!! I am afraid of the same thing her buying gifts that we should be buying or would like to buy. looks like we will have to sit down and talk asap.
@coastalmomma-2@bnmort8 My mom does this crap. She buys my brother's kids Halloween costumes every year. She claims that she gets his approval on the costumes, but I feel like it's overstepping. She also set up her house with a boys room and a girls room for her grandkids and no guest room for her adult children. It's fine for me. I live nearby. My brother lives in Hawaii. They are coming in late September. Supposedly, my mom is giving my brother and his wife her bedroom. She's also bought us several large gifts and keeps buying more stuff for the baby. She doesn't listen when you tell her you don't need stuff. I've also asked her not to come to the hospital until we tell her it's time to come see the baby. She still plans to sit in the waiting room the whole time.
@bridge-and-wall my MIL wants us to call her on our way to hospital ahhh like no not happening I told hubby he is not to tell her we are there till we are further in labor. waiting in the waiting room seems pointless to me and not even allowing anyone to come into room after baby is hear till at least 4 hours after delivery if all goes as planned so again pointless. I understand the excitement but sometimes I don't think MIL understands her role in all of this. Good luck with your mother!
@bridge-and-wall, that's the thing that drives me up the wall crazy...the not listening thing. I used to be much less direct with her since my momma raised me to be gracious, but even when I am direct with her these days it doesn't always do the trick. She'll be in town on Saturday for DS's birthday party, and I know she is hoping I'll go into labor this weekend so she can have a front row seat.
Re: UO
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
How am I feeling? "I'm so tired I was afraid I was actually going to fall asleep behind the wheel this morning. I haven't had a solid night sleep in at least 6 months and I know I can expect roughly another year of that. I feel like a terrible mom because I don't play with my kid as much as he deserves since I just want to pass out the second my feet cross the threshold to our house. Did I mention that I let him have cookies for breakfast because I didn't have the energy to fight that battle? Speaking of our house, it's hot mess because I haven't been able to get myself going to clean it in god knows how long. My belly weighs a million pounds and is seriously throwing off my center of balance. I get winded walking up the three steps to our house. My ankle makes this weird clicking sound every time I walk. My belly button is super sensitive to touch and even just wearing a loose shirt is kind of uncomfortable. I've been craving a giant chunk of raw tuna for 8 months now and apparently when you're pregnant you're not supposed to eat a lot of raw tuna. I can't focus on anything and I think my work is starting to suffer. I'm freaking out about paying for another kid when we barely make ends meet as it is. Thank you for asking."
And am I excited about this baby? "Did you not just hear how I'm doing? I'm excited to not be pregnant anymore. But I'm seriously starting to question my decision making capabilities, if you must know."
It's a little dramatic, but honestly sometimes that's my sentiment. And the poor people who've asked me on the wrong day have gotten the full rant.
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
Not sure anyone wants to hear that.
DS #1 [S-5]
3 Step Daughters [A-8] [E-6] [I-4]
Baby #2 09/10/2017
It's a BOY!
Babywearer&EBF
Maybe that's my UO. I don't like people asking me how I am. Period. Ever. Unless they actually care, in which case they wouldn't mind hearing my rant (although I do feel somewhat bad for unloading on them). And I've always been the kind of person who gives an honest answer to that question. I've had more than one occasion where someone asked how I am as we are passing in the hallway, I responded "not so good, actually," and they just kept walking like they didn't hear the actual words that came out of my mouth. Those people don't legit care. They're just making pointless small talk.
Married 2013
Kiddo #1: Sept 2015
BFP: 1/19, EDD: 9/30
"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly just grapes, actually. Ok all grapes. Fermented grapes. Fine, I'm having wine for dinner."
Buying stuff without asking is par for the course, I think. As long as they're not offended if you don't want it, I don't see any harm done (other than them having to go out of their way to return the stuff or wasting money on doubles that aren't really necessary).
But the 2 weeks off is over the top imo. That's more than most fathers get in the States, is it not?! It could be a nice gesture for her to say, "hey, I'd be able to take up to 2 weeks PTO after the baby is born, so let me know if you'd like me to be available for extra help" rather than just telling you she IS taking it, which then puts pressure on you to "make use of her time" so to speak, whether you want her help or not
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
My Mil! Both our parents have a room in their house for grandkids. But this isn't their first so that doesn't bother me. They both have a pack and play for baby also. I just hope they realize we won't be leaving baby all the time with them. However my MIL keeps buying stuff we do not want or need. She keeps going to yard sales and buying toys and stuff. Most of it is for a baby 1 and up and I also do not want to store it until the kid is old enough. I made the suggestion they would be great stuff for grandparents houses and she still just dropped it off. Between Christmas and Birthdays our kids are spoiled from having a large family we really do not need all these extras. It is nice of her to think of us but I keep telling her all we need is baby at this point and we are team green so to wait if she wants to buy clothes. No one listens.
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Me 34 DH 34
PCOS
Baby number 2 due 4/11/20