Serious question...

kleshelle · August 2017

My daughter will be 2 beginning of December, she has supervised visits with her father 2x a week. These started back in spring, I then asked him to STOP using the restroom with her in the room. Today I found out he's still letting her in there... when should this become concerning to bring up to my lawyer?

efrey1986 · August 2017

What did her father say when you confronted him on the issue?
Maybe let him know how serious you are about it if you haven't already and tell him that you will be talking to your lawyer if it continues...?

lilpoots · August 2017

Are there issues with abuse? Why are visits supervised?

kleshelle · August 2017

His excuse is that she cries if he leaves her sight. I say, so what she's extremely smart for her age she knows what's going on if you explain to her what you need to go do. My husband watches her and she never gives him issues when he shuts the door to use the restroom. If I let him know about the lawyer he could and would just hide it from me. They're supervised due to long term drug addiction in & out of clinics... list goes on. I'm just so weirded out over this.

Becky012016 · August 2017

I don't see an issue with a toddler watching a parent go to the bathroom. There's nothing malicious about that nor is there a sexual component to it. My biggest question would be who's supervising the visits. Normally these are done at a third party location with court appointed supervisors in a day care room type setting. Why can he take her out of the visitation room?

msashley2010-2 · August 2017

If his visits are supervised, then this may be something to bring up to those that are doing the supervision of the visits. Why aren't they able to watch her for a couple of minutes while he goes to the restroom?

With that being said, and I don't know the whole situation, what is your primary concern about her being in the bathroom with him?

sarahufl · August 2017

I don't see a problem with a 2 year old being in the bathroom. But if it makes you uncomfortable, talk to the people who are supervising the visits.

tfrangul · August 2017

I'm sorry but there is just not enough info here to answer this responsibility but My son willbe 2 in December and is very smart and watches me go to the bathroom....he also helps me pull up my pants now. So I'm not understanding the issue unless there is an issue with abuse. I also have an almost 9 year old and I guess she stopped going in the bathroom with her dad when she was like 4/5. So Idk. I'm also very confused about the supervised visits.

OmSweetOm · August 2017

I personally don't find it that weird either but, again... we don't know your ex and the dynamic there. I feel like bringing it up to a lawyer is probably a bit over the top when as others have mentioned the visits are supervised so there has to be some kind of middle man before it gets to that point. 2 is still super young. If she were 4/5/6, yes. I actually had to recently have a conversation with my ex about my son sleeping in his mothers bed everytime he stays there. He is 9. And it got to the point where I felt like it was a little weird and unnecessary.. like who is this really benefiting.

Only you know the the whole story here to fill in why it makes you uncomfortable. If you feel bringing it to his attention would just cause him to lie about doing it in the future that is a bigger fish to fry... but without further info as to the reasoning I really don't think it's all that crazy of a scenario to be honest/

k8ywags · August 2017

I work in foster care and often organise supervised contact visits. Our supervised contact workers don't allow parents to take the kids to the toilets simply because they can't supervise the contact or monitor the conversation during that time. If the contact needs to be supervised for a reason then could you discuss your concerns with the supervising agency?

PKFMommie · August 2017

k8ywags said:

I work in foster care and often organise supervised contact visits. Our supervised contact workers don't allow parents to take the kids to the toilets simply because they can't supervise the contact or monitor the conversation during that time. If the contact needs to be supervised for a reason then could you discuss your concerns with the supervising agency?

This. How is it supervised if is is happening? Also, why are you specifically concerned, to echo above replies? My DS is notorious for following you into the bathroom partly (a) curiosity (b) he wants to be with you and (c) we didn't see an issue with it until he started formal school (Kinder) at which time we introduced the concepts of privacy and modesty, as he is in a public environment without us. Given the scary world we live in, we actually used the segway to "private bathroom use" as a way to introduce more specifics about "stranger danger" and to initiate the conversation about your privates being "private." At two years old, in the absence of other concerns, I see no sexual component to it, if anything it is educational, and a two year old does get concerned when a parent leaves the room as their concepts of time and returning are not as well formed as they are still developing abstract thinking skills.

I hope this resolves for you without any drama, for your own peace of mind and your daughter's sake.

Serious question...

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