FFFC 8/18*

MJDsquared · August 2017

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/IsZ6k5d5oFxBK/giphy.gif

*Not guaranteed to be flame free

MJDsquared · August 2017

I always roll my eyes when people say stuff like, "I have really bad heartburn so hopefully LO will be born with tons of hair!" or, "I have more acne this pregnancy, so I think it's a girl," or, "Well the Chinese gender chart was right for my last one, and this one says X, so I think it's that."

This is my first pregnancy, but I know that pregnancies can all be different (or the same) regardless of sex. Also, I was just reading a thread where someone mentioned heartburn and like four people were like, "Yeah, I had really bad heartburn and my baby was completely bald." And as far as wives tales go...they're gonna be 50/50, generally speaking. (Also, early on we looked up the Chinese chart and found two different ones and one said boy and the other girl, soooo....)

All that said, I don't side-eye looking up the wives tales and seeing what they say for fun (pretty sure the only one that was right for me was heart rate, except at our U/S yesterday it was lower, so would've been wrong), I just don't get putting stock into them.

Marley629 · August 2017

I've been using my toddlers kid toothpaste for the past couple of months. I can't stomach the regular one and I enjoy the bubblegum flavor of his.

casace · August 2017

@MJDsquared I was told this last appointment that I'll start to see a decrease of the heart rate soon (I guess it's not as fast as time goes on) so that might be it.

But i totally agree with you...i had a really hard first trimester with additional issues and everybody is like oh it has to be a girl because you didn't have these issues last time. Nope....another boy thank you very much!

katiegeminimoon · August 2017

Mine is a pretty bad, don't kick me out for being a terrible person, haha.

My bff got pregnant their very first try and still to this day brags about it (rude). She cried when she found out she was having a girl because "they" (her husband) wanted a boy so bad. They are planning to ttc in October. She keeps talking about everything like she knows she will get pregnant her first try ("well I will be giving birth X month so I'm not going to bother buying a pool pass") and it's annoying the shit out of me. My fffc is that I hope it takes them 2 months instead of 1 just so she can stop being so smug and annoying. I also hope it's another girl. As someone who went through a loss and took 17 months to get (and stay) pregnant I would never truly wish that struggle on anyone.

failuretofly · August 2017

I put my son in dayhome twice this week so I could do self care. First was pelvic floor physio, today was counselling. It was the best decision ever. I will be a better mom because of it.

cait5413 · August 2017

@MJDsquared There is actually a correlation between heartburn and hair growth. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17150070 Of course, there will be exceptions, but this one is not just an old wives' tale.

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

I am going to leave work early today and instead of spending that extra time with my daughter, I am going to leave her in daycare so I can nap. Also, I am using a free hotel stay I have from our wedding to go to the spa and spend the night with a good friend instead of using it with DH:)

MJDsquared · August 2017

@casace I'm definitely not concerned about the lower heart rate, it was still a normal HR! Seriously, I'm lucky and had no morning sickness and this woman at work was like, "It's a boy." She apparently missed me finding out it's a girl, and asked the other day, "And it's a boy, right?" Nope. She also seemed disappointed for me that it was a girl lol. I think she has at least one of each and must favor her son, I guess.

@ktcakes87 Hahaha I love your confession. I wouldn't wish infertility or loss on anyone, but wishing for someone annoying like that to take two cycles to get pregnant instead of one is not flame-worthy at all, in my opinion! Honestly I get a twinge of irritation when I see people say they got it on the first try or got pregnant while using birth control, so reading some of the intros on here was tough (but if you're reading this and you're one of those people, I promise it didn't make me think less of you and I couldn't tell you a single username of anyone who said that, so even if that's you, I don't remember!).

dkizz82 · August 2017

@ktcakes87 it is so easy for some people. It's crazy. We got pregnant with our first on our first cycle trying. We lost that baby. It then took 12 months to conceive DD. I was expecting that again but nope, spring break and 2 missed pills later, here we are.

I jope she doesnt ha e trouble, like you said. But sounds like she has never been dealt a bad hand (except for the girl waaaah waaaah waaahhh).

breezybee · August 2017

I don't understand how people get pregnant by accident. How could this possibly happen? And how could it happen MULTIPLE times? And how could it happen on birth control? It's something that really confuses me.

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

@breezybee, I think about this ALL the time. It doesn't help that this baby was such a science project, but I just can't imagine getting pregnant on accident!

katiegeminimoon · August 2017

@dkizz82 I don't really wish her trouble, except maybe one cycle just so she can stop being such an ass hat about it. I am happy for anyone who gets so lucky, but bragging about it all the time to your bff who was having trouble getting pregnant was pretty insensitive of her.

Amber_Waves · August 2017

@ktcakes87 I had (note the past tense) a friend who announced her pregnancy in a room full of women by saying "we only had to do it 5 times!" Also, she was "5 weeks pregnant." YIKES. This was before my husband and I started trying (we dealt with infertility), but I was furious on behalf of the women in that room that had struggled or were struggling with infertility &/or miscarriage. Little Miss Only-Had-To-Do-It-5-Times knew these womens' histories at least as well as I did. This was one of many super-rude and thoughtless things I witnessed from her before I let that friendship go.

tamaraaaa · August 2017

I don't give a shit about the eclipse. Whew, I've been waiting all week to get that one out.

tamaraaaa · August 2017

Also, I watch Netflix while I work and I've been watching Gossip Girl. And I'm liking it! Am I 16 again? Judge away, I don't blame you.

elev2017 · August 2017

@ktcakes87 My bff recently told me she and her husband had started TTC 2 months ago and that she was disappointed she wasn't pregnant already. I didn't go through true infertility and my husband and I weren't actively trying to get pregnant (more of a "I'm going off the pill now, and when it happens, cool" mindset), but I did wait nearly 6 months for my period to get normal after coming off the pill and then when it never did I had to go on progesterone when my doctor ran a blood test and found that I wasn't ovulating at all, which was kind of scary. So I also thought that was kind of insensitive of her. Granted, the progesterone worked pretty quickly and now I'm carrying twins, but I still was a little annoyed that she thought 2 months was such an inconvenience when she knew I'd had some issues that took about a year to fully resolve.

wabash15 · August 2017

@ktcakes87 your way nicer than I am... I would wish her a solid 6-9 months! I also get irrationally irritated with the women who get KTFU on the first try. I know its not their fault and their fertility has no bearing on mine but it just sucks that some women struggle so much and others are not trying or even trying to prevent and boom.
@ameliabedelia-2 I have also done that... just a few minutes of peace and quiet or sleep....

failuretofly · August 2017

@ameliabedelia-2 high five on self-care

Marley629 · August 2017

@tamaraaaa I do the same. Currently binge watching party of 5 after finishing One Tree Hill last week #oldschool

breezybee · August 2017

I've taken 2, yes 2, naps today at work. Thank god my boss understands and is totally cool with it. Working is hard!

kyrwyn · August 2017

@breezybee I'm exhausted today at work too! As soon as the last VP leaves, I'm out of here. He's in the lobby chatting it up with someone, so I'm hopeful that'll be soon.

dkizz82 · August 2017

@ktcakes87 I know you don't. I was agreeing with you. Might of not sounded that way but I was.

cait5413 · August 2017

It took us 6 months with our first, and every cycle we weren't pregnant was a disappointment and resulted in a little heartbreak. So while it may be insensitive for people to complain after a short time, I understand where they are coming from. Even though I knew that a year of trying could be perfectly normal even if we had no fertility issues, it was very stressful and felt like failing. While we were TTC the first time I was very annoyed with a friend who conceived both of hers on the first month of trying. As for how it happens by accident, I thought my cycle was pretty regular. We had unprotected sex once 2 days before my cycle was supposed to start. I didn't account for the stress of my dad's death throwing off my cycle, and bam--we were pregnant. Since it did take us a little while the first time, we were very surprised that we did it without even trying. (But I also see it as a cosmic joke from my dad / his sending us some joy in a difficult time).

NME44 · August 2017

So my first pregnancy took 8 excruciating months of trying. Then I lost that one, and it took 6 more months before I finally got my sticky baby.

Then I got "surprise" pregnant with DD one month after I quit lactating on a night when I had been drinking and got lazy about a condom. I never in a million years thought that would happen to me.

And this is the first baby I have actually been pregnant with when I had "planned" to be.

I also know two women who have had to go through fertility treatments with their first child or children and ended up with surprise babies on their third (one even had an IUD

)

Point being, I NEVER take for granted how easy or hard it was for someone to get pregnant or how easy or hard it would be for myself to get pregnant in the future.

All of this being said, @ktcakes87 friend would also annoy me beyond belief and I would probably have to stop talking to her for a while. Or at least have a frank discussion about how she makes me feel when she says those things. (Because honestly, the struggle and the loss still sting, even though I'm happily parenting two beautiful children with my third on the way. Never goes away.)

ETA: it goes the other way, too. One of my dear friends was surprise pregnant with her first when she was relatively young - early 20s. Her second required medicinal intervention and I have never been so happy for someone as I was when she told me she was finally pregnant. And now after a year of trying for a third she has basically decided she may only have two kids (she wanted a whole handful).

peachy13 · August 2017

@ktcakes87 i completely understand where you're coming from. I have two girlfriends who got pregnant their first month trying and brag about it still. They had lovely pregnancies and healthy kids, and all is fine and dandy. Now they're talking about having baby #2 and are basically like "well we're going to try in September so that we have a baby in June" and it's infuriating. I also would never wish pregnancy struggle on anyone but it's just so frustrating to listen to because I feel like they think their bodies and husband's seed are superior to everyone else's and that they're invincible. I did get pregnant my first time trying too but that pregnancy ended in a MC. Some people are really lucky and that's great, but I wish they could get a little dose of reality every now and then.

katiegeminimoon · August 2017

I love (and hate) that you all see where I am coming from, it makes me feel like less of a jerk! I'm sorry you all have rude friends too! I have told her how it makes me feel but she still does it. The only thing that changed was that she would say "one and done!" meaning they got pregnant their first try until I told her that's not what that means and that she sounded dumb, haha.

Want a personalized experience?

FFFC 8/18*

Re: FFFC 8/18*

Choose Another Board

Search Boards