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Dreaming of the day..

StephLouise35StephLouise35 member
in Babies on the Brain
hey there! every single day I dream of being pregnant and having a baby, I am married and have a full time job but HB is part time work full time university. He wants to wait till he has full time work and that's it. Basically what I'm trying to get at is how do I deal with this? I'm honestly struggling a little, some days, more than others.

TIA x
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Re: Dreaming of the day..

  • dreamscapes_dreamscapes_ member
    Honestly, I think most of us are in a similar boat. You just find ways that work for you to deal with it. Different things work for different people, so what works for one of us may not work for you. I do find that it's helpful to be here on the board, with other people who understand. It's also helpful that I work at a place with a LOT of kids and sometimes I'm like "...yeah, it's okay that we're waiting". I do get your DH's point, though. My DH and I both work full time, but we're still concerned about budgetary stuff once a baby comes along.
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
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  • izza2izza2 member
    StephLouise35 said:
    hey there! every single day I dream of being pregnant and having a baby, I am married and have a full time job but HB is part time work full time university. He wants to wait till he has full time work and that's it. Basically what I'm trying to get at is how do I deal with this? I'm honestly struggling a little, some days, more than others.

    TIA x
    Hi there!
    I suggest introducing yourself, and I see you've already checked in on the Waiting Room Wednesday post.

    The group of ladies here are all freaking awesome, and quite a few of them are in the same boat (wanting to TTGP, unable to or TTA for various reasons) you are.

    As far as dealing with wanting to TTGP and not being able to - find a hobby to distract you, or take advantage of the child-free life while you're unable to even TTGP. Take a step back and focus less on wanting to TTC, and more on something else in your life. We've all been there, or are currently there. There is no magical cure for dealing with the wait, unfortunately.

    Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
    PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023

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  • lalala2004lalala2004 member
    @StephLouise35 you are definitely in good company here! When it comes to financial concerns, I strongly suggest that you try and make a budget in which you can live on only one income and save the rest. If that's doable, it may relieve some of your H's concerns and you'll save a ton of money. That's what my parents did while waiting to TTC and they waited for 5 years. Similar situation in which my dad was going to school and working at a lower wage retail job while my mom had a full time job. When my dad completed school and started working full time, they knew my mom could be a SAHM because they had lived that way for so long and saved so much money.

    Just a few things to think about. I'm waiting to TFAS and if I could go back and do it again, I definitely would have hung out with friends more, gone on more vacations, gone on more date nights, etc. We did all those things, but there are definitely benefits to a child-free life in the meantime, so try to focus on enjoying those as best you can while you wait.
    *Siggy Warning*
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

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  • glitzandglitterglitzandglitter member
    @StephLousie35 - Welcome! I found that coming and posting here to chat with ladies in similar position to be helpful. I also tried to enjoy the things that I would not be able to do once pregnant. I set goals for saving, fitness and tried to busy myself with hobbies. I talked to DH so we could figure out a timeline because it really helped me to have an end in sight to my waiting.
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  • diaphenadiaphena member
    edited August 2017
    Hey @StephLouise35, welcome to the board! I saw this post and your post in the Waiting Room post from last week so I'll kinda respond to both of those on here.  I can completely relate to you - I go through stages myself where I think every day about how badly I want a baby, and I'm pretty sure I joined this board when I was in one of those stages, haha. Other times though, it goes more to the back of my mind so I'm not thinking of it constantly. I'd second what @izza2 and others said and focus on the good things you have going on now. Maybe even think of things you could do now that you won't be able to do once kids come along - a "before baby bucket list," perhaps? :) MH and I took a slightly spontaneous, adventurous trip together earlier this summer and I was able to really enjoy it knowing that in the future, if all goes to plan, we won't be able to do things so spontaneously anymore.  Keep yourself busy with things you like, and it'll help the time pass in an enjoyable way.

    Also, in your other post you were wondering about PPD after a loss - as far as I know, it could happen, but I'm not an expert in PPD. But either way, if you're feeling depressed I'll hope you'll reach out to someone, if you haven't already. I work in the mental health field and I'd be glad to answer any questions you have about it (not saying that to be presumptuous, so I apologize if it comes off that way... I just know that if getting professional help is something new to you, it can be pretty intimidating).  Feel free to PM me if you like :)
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  • StephLouise35StephLouise35 member
    Thank you all so much!! I'm glad I can come on here for advice and support it's been really helpful and encouraging!! ❤️
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