Baby Shower question

firekssd · August 2017

My family is throwing me a baby shower in a couple of months. I currently live in a 1-bedroom apartment with my partner and my 10 year-old. I'm planning to only get the bare minimum and purchase any other items as they're needed (lack of storage). How can I word that we prefer gift cards or our registry items in the invite for this reason? I don't want to come off as rude or unappreciative of the kindness from our family/friends.

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

You really can't. Aside from a registry, it's rude to tell guests what they should buy. People like to pick things out and sometimes have a personal reason for choosing a gift they think is special. If it's something you don't want/need, return it for a store credit. Register at a store with a lax return policy to make sure you get the full purchase price for any returns.

rainbowdashh · August 2017

To put it bluntly, you don't.

Amber_Waves · August 2017

Die hard traditionalists may not like it, but there are some cute poems here:
https://www.cutest-baby-shower-ideas.com/baby-shower-gift-card-wording.html

Trying my own hand...

This family lives in the smallest of homes,

There's no room for extra, not the cutest of gnomes.

A few spare shelves is where all gifts must go

Gift cards and such would fit just so.

Tennis11785 · August 2017

While I appreciate your predicament and the rationale behind your thinking, I'm also of the camp that there isn't really a tactful/appropriate way to dictate what gifts people give. Gifts are a present given from the giver to show their love for the recipient.

Hopefully, people you know will recognize the space issue and think proactively about getting you gift cards. But some people just like giving "things". For example, my H's family thinks gift cards as incredibly impersonal and they would never in a million years give one. And I think they would almost be offended if someone gave them a gift card - they would think "You couldn't take 20 minutes to walk around the store and pick out something you think I'd like?" So different strokes for different folks.

I would just say register for everything you want/need. Then the items you don't have space to store return to the store and keep the gift card to repurchase that item once you get to that phase of the baby's life.

andipandicWed121369 · August 2017

I would go with word of mouth. With our wedding we let my parents spread the word that we wanted Target Gift Cards so we could buy backyard furniture. I wouldn't change the invites but if you're talking on Facebook or whatever, drop all the hints!

anewadventure · August 2017

i agree with PPs. although i'm an etiquette stickler and wouldn't be a fan of this on invites in any case, my family is exactly like @Tennis11785 and they actively find gift cards to be offensive / lazy. you know your family best. word of mouth isn't a terrible idea if you know you have guests that would actually prefer to buy gift cards and think they "can't" for whatever reason.

you can put gift cards on your registry. do so. and definitely register at places with easy return policies. make sure you register for enough items and in enough price ranges that people feel they can pick something for you that meets their gift-giving constraints.

firekssd · August 2017

Thank you all for the advice.

@Amber_Waves this is a really cute idea and I might just use your version! : )

@andipandicWed121369 I might consider word of mouth. Thanks for the suggestion.

failuretofly · August 2017

@firekssd
In addition to the excellent advice of PPs I would also like to add that I see this is your first post ever on The Bump. Welcome! We'd love to get to know you better! If you feel so inclined to stick around and participate in some regular threads (which I hope you do!) why don't you head on over to the Intro thread and let us know a little bit more about yourself. We also do weekly ticker change threads, and other specific weekly threads (like moms of multiples, STM+ moms, PGAL) to help strengthen our relationships and community.

You've gotten some great responses here, but in future, we generally prefer to avoid one-off threads like this, for a very specific, somewhat controversial question. It would probably be more appropriate for the Questions thread, or you could have created a Baby Showers general thread that would have allowed others to also pose their baby-shower related questions and concerns.

tmk0325 · August 2017

I would just limit what you put on your registry to just the basics that you really want/need and add the gift card option on it as well. Unfortunately there is no nice way to say that. We also live in a small apartment with 2 adults, 2 kids, and I just put the basics. Thankfully we were team green so we didn't get a ton of toys or clothes and most people stuck to the registry knowing our living situation. Hopefully they know how tight your living situation is and that you aren't able to hold a lot of crap. I'd also stick to just one registry to keep it simple, so you can take stuff back easily without having to run around to multiple locations.

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