Monday Bitchfest/Magnificent Monday 8/13

Amber_Waves · August 2017

Starting this thread a few hours early...
Tell us about your Monday...

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/ZURKuR034tkGc/giphy.gif

Amber_Waves · August 2017

Holy moly. I'm going to have a magnificent Monday sorting this baby bounty...

DH and I spent most of Sunday at his cousin's house, going through all the baby and maternity stuff they had stored. I thought, since her twins are 5, that she wouldn't have much, but they had saved basically everything. She said they've been too busy to donate it all! She has one boy & one girl & we're team green, so I selected the most neutral stuff + a few things that would probably only work on a boy or girl, but were too cute to pass up.

Our SUV was completely packed with...baby carriers, baby gate, an umbrella stroller (the other stroller pictured is one we bought), high chair, pack-n-play, crib mattress, sheets for crib & pnp, changing pad with multiple covers, breastfeeding pillow, lots of bottles & supplies for cleaning them, swaddles, blankets, toys, bibs, and absolute masses of baby clothing (that's what is in the 5 huge garbage bags in the picture, and that's WITH me taking only about a third of what was there AND only going through the bins up to 12 months). So amazed and grateful!

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/Gu0KrktU8NRRu/giphy.gif

darkfyre · August 2017

That is overwhelming. And only a third wow I do not envy her, but I get it. Getting rid of it can feel so impossible even if you really want it gone.

TigerCakes · August 2017

@Amber_Waves That's awesome!

As for me this is the first magnificent Monday I've had in awhile because I took off this whole week from work! It's just going to be a staycation with a couple of day trips, but anything is better than going to work.

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

Today, on my awful commute into my awful job, I decided I am definitely not coming back after the baby. I also decided that I will get a note from my OB to telework for the remainder of my pregnancy at my 28 week appt. I have an appt tomorrow @23 weeks and will discuss it with her. She already offered to write me one at my last appt based on my headaches and stress/anxiety over current work environment. I figure I can tough it out for one more month. It's giving me an ittttyyyyyyy bit of relief from the normal Monday dread I usually have. So that's sort of a Monday bitchfest and Magnificent Monday rolled into one:)

cait5413 · August 2017

So, I really need to get some more stuff done before the semester starts this week. I stayed home 2 days last week because I caught a bad cold and I couldn't really take anything thanks to LO; by Saturday DD had it so I did not get nearly what I wanted to accomplished, and DD was still running a low-grade fever this morning, so I am home with her. One more day of lost productivity. She seems to feel better, but she's still got a runny nose, the slight fever (I gave her Motrin, so I am hoping by the time her dose wears off it will be gone), a slightly upset tummy, and diaper rash which I suspect may be a yeast rash. At least the doc ruled out an ear infection. I really need her to be better tomorrow because I have meetings at work.

balletnerd · August 2017

Our AC died on us. It's going to be 103 today in Phoenix, AZ. So we're hoping someone can come out and fix it today. We bought a window unit for the bedroom and are hanging out in here with the animals. Scared of how much this is going to cost us...

txmomma16 · August 2017

Ya'll, I really am not enjoying pregnancy. And I kind of hate myself for it.

I have been absent and spotty on here for awhile because of everything going on, but long story as short as I can make it - I had surgery to remove a massive ovarian cyst last month. That was after months of pain and a few ER visits. Well - Friday afternoon I ended up back in the ER. And honestly, this was my worst visit yet.

I got severely dizzy and lightheaded on Thursday evening, so I called the on call OB, who said to get evaluated, but that I could wait to be seen in their office if I could tolerate it. Well, when I went in, they asked a few questions but immediately sent me to the ER. Strike one. Why the heck didn't they just tell me to go in Thursday night when I could have packed myself a bag and been prepared for it.

Then, I'm in the ER, and I swear, I have never been so disappointed with a doctor. I'm an easy going person and I've been told I'm an easy patient, but seriously, wtf. First, the doctor ignores the main problem, the dizziness and lightheadedness and focuses on my extremely minor chest tightness, which I told him multiple times I had been experiencing all pregnancy, (My own OB said that's normal for pregnant patients with asthma and to just be cautious of it and treat any wheezing immediately). Strike two. Then, when the blood and urine tests don't show anything he can blame he comes back and tells me, sorry, but you're pregnant. Well no sh*t Sherlock! Strike 3.

So. I was pretty upset. I could barely see straight I was so dizzy, I couldn't walk myself to the bathroom, which was happening every 20 minutes because of the IV fluids they put me on, and I was miserable. And he had the audacity to say "well my wife was pregnant, so I know what that's like." Uh? No. No you do not. You especially do not know what its like to be an IVF momma who had to have surgery during pregnancy who is miserably dizzy and can't see straight, don't you dare.

The bright side here was my mom. She stepped in and fought for me to get a neuro consult and MRI while in the hospital instead of having to wait at least a week because it was already Friday afternoon. Ugh. Makes me angry that she had to do that.

Anyways, long story short, Baby and I are fine, we spend Friday night and most of Saturday in the Hospital being tested and then ignored, but they finally came up with a treatment plan that helped the dizziness and let me go home. We don't know why it started, or what's causing it, but at least I have some relief. :-)

But seriously, pregnancy is rough. I'm finding myself incredibly jealous of all the bright happy smily mommas to be that I see out and about and a little bitter about where I'm at. It took us years and TONS of work and money to get here, and I don't get to enjoy it. I love my son. I am so excited for him, and he is the reason I am doing this. Everyone keeps telling me that once he comes I'll forget it all and be ready to do it all over again, but I just can't see how. It makes me feel simultaneously weak and like a bad mom.

whiska · August 2017

@txmomma16 My lovetit is a hug. I'm sorry this has been so miserable for you. I wanted to let you know you're not alone (in the sense that PAIF and PGAL has been less fun and happy and hopeful than expected for me too - to the point where I sought therapy). But I can only imagine how you're dealing with all of the physical challenges on top of managing emotions about how long it took to get here and how desperately you want your little boy. It's okay to be upset that pregnancy isn't sunshine and roses, and feel jealous of those who do get easy pregnancies (just like I was jealous of people who easily got their bfps). It's also okay to go back and forth about being immensely thankful for your pregnancy and also miserable based on your unique challenges. All the hugs and fx that everything is looking up and great from here!

Tennis11785 · August 2017

@txmomma16 - Sending you a huge hug. Every pregnancy is different, and you're allowed to hate the downsides of your own. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

flowerpower5838 · August 2017

txmomma16 I feel like some things just never come easy to some people - they have to work harder for every.little.thing. I am so so sorry that you are in that camp. I know what it's like to struggle with fertility issues and just waiting for the next bad shoe to drop and I hate that they just keep dropping for you! ALL OF THE HUGS! Way to stand up for yourself and I am glad your momma was there to advocate for you as hell. I hope this is the beginning of an easier ride for you!

AFM - my magnificent Monday is that I tried a new cheapy makeup primer and I am feeling pretty good about how my skin looks. This baby is exasperating my rosacea and I've been on the verge of a breakout this entire pregnancy. It's a small win, but I'll take what I can get.

breezybee · August 2017

@txmomma16 Oh man, you've been having a rough go if it lately. I am so sorry that you're having so many struggles with this pregnancy. Know that it's completely ok to hate being pregnant, but still want and love your baby more than anything in the world. It's totally normal, and it definitely doesn't make you a bad mom. Hugs lady

cait5413 · August 2017

@txmomma16 not enjoying pregnancy does not mean you are a bad mama or love your baby any less. When he arrives, you probably will feel it has all been worth it and you would do it again, but even if you never want to go through it again, that's fine! You have had a rough road and we still have a ways to go. You can be so happy your baby is on the way and still hate the journey to get him here. Pregnancy can be rough under ideal circumstances let alone when you are having surgery and other health issues. Be kind to yourself

MJDsquared · August 2017

@txmomma16 I'm so sorry you've been having such a rough time! I'm so excited for you to get your miracle baby at the end of this and have the shitty pregnancy part behind you. And whether you decide to go through it again or not, it's okay!

As for me, my Magnificent Monday is that I feel like that girl from Mean Girls who just has a lot of feelings. I'm just so excited for everyone to have their LOs and I love stalking reading birth announcements on other BMBs, or reading baby names/nursery threads on BMBs because I feel like choosing a name/preparing a nursery are just such fun and exciting things and done out of love and ugh I'm a mess over here. Lol. And her increased/stronger movement is certainly adding to that!

muskratbaby · August 2017

I have talked to a few moms who said they stopped taking their prenatal vitamins toward the end of their pregnancy because they didn't feel good after taking them. Plus, they felt healthy enough with their diets by that point... Mine is a 2-a-day gummy vitamin, but I only take it once a day now. Has anyone else stopped taking their prenatal vitamins regularly?

clovelyone · August 2017

@txmomma16 I'm sorry you've had to go through all of this. All of your feelings are valid, so try not to beat yourself up about it. Everyone's pregnancy is different and you've definitely had it rough. FX you and baby have a more uneventful rest of your pregnancy. Just know that we are all here to listen anytime you need to vent or need support.

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

@muskratbaby, I don't take mine anymore

NME44 · August 2017

@ameliabedelia-2, why don't you just get the teleworking note tomorrow?

today is DH and my 7 year anniversary. We're both working so my mom is coming over after to watch the kids and we're just gonna go out to dinner. But it should be nice to eat without having to feed two toddlers and chase one of them every other minute as she leaps from the table to get another stuffed animal or baby doll to enjoy her meal with her.

kyrwyn · August 2017

@txmomma16 To echo what so many have already said, having a tough pregnancy and rightfully not enjoying the experience does not make you a bad mama!

And I firmly believe that whoever tells you you'll forget it, or it won't matter, once the baby is here is full of horsepoop. The things we struggle through always matter, but once they are past and not part of our present they are less immediate and (sometimes) easier to move beyond. At some point you will be done with pregnancy and you'll have the joys and struggles and complaints of being a new parent -- which may not be sunshine and roses either -- and later on, you'll have terrible twos and threenager struggles punctuated by amazing toddler moments and awe, and the nature of your kid-related present reality will continue to shift and grow. I think we all hope that there will be a lot of awesomeness while quietly acknowledging that there will be quite a bit of slog and struggle and none of that makes you less or more of a good mom. You are allowed to hate any (many?) parts of it, without that diminishing in any way your love or feeling of well-being for your child. I hope your support network is amazing, and recognizes you for the herculean struggles you've already overcome, and celebrates with you all your milestones (and, hey, even those new complaints, because change implies forward movement in this case).

FWIW, I don't understand the glorification of pregnancy/childbirth. I think it sets up some really unreachable expectations for women who have anything short of beatific experiences. I don't glow, ladies. I am just really effing relieved/happy to be out of the 3+ years of depression, uncertainty and self body-shaming that infertility brought me. (Either that, or it's a billion degrees outside again and I'm sweating.)

elcd458 · August 2017

@muskratbaby I am also not taking the full gummy dose (just taking one instead of two). Our level 2 ultrasound was perfect so I'm not worried about neural tube defects at this point-- but I still try to eat a rich variety of foods to help with the nutrients baby is getting. I hope to start back with the recommended dose of vitamins if/when breastfeeding, unless it continues to exacerbate headache issues. (Since vtamin deficiencies while BF can sometimes have serious consequences)

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

@NME44, I am worried he will tell me that I can't work remotely if he thinks it's too far from my due date. I think he could potentially tell me to go out on STD since then he won't have to pay me. I also just hired a new employee and I want to get him trained and up to speed before throwing him to the fire....he wouldn't last 2 weeks here if I let my CEO have direct access to him this early on:(

anewadventure · August 2017

txmomma16 said:

Ya'll, I really am not enjoying pregnancy. And I kind of hate myself for it.

SNIP for brevity in quoting

But seriously, pregnancy is rough. I'm finding myself incredibly jealous of all the bright happy smily mommas to be that I see out and about and a little bitter about where I'm at. It took us years and TONS of work and money to get here, and I don't get to enjoy it. I love my son. I am so excited for him, and he is the reason I am doing this. Everyone keeps telling me that once he comes I'll forget it all and be ready to do it all over again, but I just can't see how. It makes me feel simultaneously weak and like a bad mom.

all the hugs and love to you. and to everyone that is struggling. @kyrwyn wrote a beautiful response to you above. an advance TLDR for my post - please, resist with all that is in you, the idea that you are weak or a bad mom. for WHATEVER reason. it is REALLY HARD to be a mom in today's culture. start working towards building yourself up, as it is so easy to feel the pressure and guilt from all around you. you are doing your best. your best is enough. you are not a bad mom. REPEAT. MAKE IT A MANTRA.

i could really relate to your post. my first pregnancy was plagued with complications. at the end, it was very serious, and i had some dark times in the hospital and afterwards. i am still dealing with the fallout. i had SO MANY people say that exact thing to me - when you hold your baby in your arms, it will all be worth it. in the many many moments leading up to LO's arrival, this phrase was less than useless for me. fwiw, these people really do mean well. and although this won't help you, all the same - it will make a difference when your LO is here and you experience your love for him and watch it grow. i've found my struggles in this pregnancy are easier to bear, having experienced the joys of having my first son. my first pregnancy, the "end product" was all theoretical - as it is for you. just know that the people saying this to you really mean well.

as for the expectations to enjoy pregnancy, to rock it, to be this beautiful perfect gestating woman...well...that's never been me. i hate being pregnant. i don't mind saying so. i love this little baby within me with all i have, but that doesn't mean i have to enjoy all of the negatives that come with pregnancy. i don't have the added baggage of infertility struggles and i can only imagine how that makes it even harder when you feel negative thoughts about being pregnant. it doesn't help that pregnancy is so LONG. it can seem never-ending.

i hope the remainder of your pregnancy is kind to you and that you have a great support system. please inform your husband that his job is to listen to any complaint you care to make, even at the top of your lungs, and that he is to spoil the heck out of you. period. you're growing the baby, so his job is to make it easier on you.

balletnerd · August 2017

@txmomma16 you are doing a great job! What an amazing mom you are going to be after all the sacrifice's you are already making for this kiddo. They are so lucky to have a strong mom like you.

And to add to my non working AC (guy is coming in a few hours...still praying for a cheap fix) I just got home from the vet to find out my dog has a torn ACL. May need thousands of dollars in surgery. When it rains it pours right?

kaylawing · August 2017

@txmomma16 I echo what everyone else has already said and I hope you are feeling better/managing the dizziness.

AFM, my grandmother passed away two months ago and my grandpa told my mom (she's an only child) she could have all of my grandmother's jewelry. She decided to take my sister and I over to his house today so we could all look and decide if we wanted anything. It was so fun to sit with my mom, sister, and grandpa as he told us about each piece and the cool stories behind them. It was amazing what he remembered about where/when/why some of the jewelry was purchased. I learned so much about her this afternoon and, as cheesy as it sounds, those stories mean more than any earrings or rings I was given. It was just a really cool day.

failuretofly · August 2017

Magnificent Monday is I went to pelvic floor physio (physical therapy) today and I am so glad I did!

She told me that I am a little weaker than I used to be, and holding tension on the back half of my muscles that are pulling my tailbone in. Also that my bladder comes down a little more when I bear down, but nothing unexpected considering I'm half way through my 2nd tri.

Learned some interesting things:

Coffee can make you leak! That and other bladder irritants (spicy food, citrus, anything with a lot of caffeine) can make your bladder a bit cranky, so when you throw a cough or sneeze on top of it, it can result in stress urinary incontinence. I did not know this!
About 25% of women have no idea how to relax their pelvic floor muscles and as a result have a hard time pushing when it comes time to give birth - this was me with DS!
The majority of women after a vaginal delivery will have some degree of prolapse - BUT it only really matters if you're symptomatic and/or you're not mindful of it as you age and progress into menopause.

She gave me some kegel-but-not-kegel exercises to practice and discharged me from her care and said I only really need to return if issues pop up, other than that she recommends ALL women see a PF physio at around 6-8 weeks postpartum.

kaymariec · August 2017

I work in an office building where my boss rents out the apartments above us to residential tenants. We are also a law firm and I have clients coming here all the time. One of the tenants who also works for my boss is a heavy pot smoker and goes up to her apartment to smoke. It fills my office with the smell of burnt weed and makes me dizzy and nauseous. I have complained on multiple occasions and he talks to her and comes back trying to tell me it's just incense. My hubby smokes and I use to so I know the smell.

Today ay it was really strong and I just had enough of it so I said something to my boss's son, who is also an attorney here and he confirmed it was weed. My boss overhead the exchange and said it's just incense and you should go home bc I'm sick of looking at your face! No joke. I was definitely making a "it reeks in here" face, but his reaction was so nasty. I work very hard and I'm here at least 10 hours a day. Right now I'm afraid to even leave my office bc I know he'll say something rude to me on the way out. Sorry for pointing out a huge problem!

Marley629 · August 2017

@NME44 happy anniversary!!

@txmomma16 everyone above pretty much touched upon what I would have said. I have very similiar feelings as you do and have not been through nearly as much as you have! Just wanted to reach out and send hugs

I hope the dizziness stays away

Amber_Waves · August 2017

kaymariec Is weed legal where you live?
Also, why would it "just being incense" mean that the neighbor gets to compromise your air quality? It seems like there would be an OSHA issue even if it was just incense. Do you have an HR department?

muskratbaby · August 2017

I am so impatient and volatile today! ARGH! Permanent stomach ache, husband is being annoying about helping me move furniture to start setting up the baby room, and my neck hurts. That is all. Might as well go to bed early.

I would be so annoyed if my office smelled like pot. Someone down the hall where I work smokes an e-cigarette on occasion and that bugs me, but pot would be much worse.

andipandicWed121369 · August 2017

My new chromebook came in the mail today. I'm pretty excited. My last one died a month ago and it's been hard to get on my hubby's computer (he's always on it) so prepare for lots more of my opinions again!

Mandayno · August 2017

Today mine is just a bitch fest! I literally could bitch a few paragraphs, but won't! DH is driving me crazy with selling our house. He's so obssessed with it, it's literally the conversation 24/7. I'm so fed up with the whole process thanks to this. I really just need one on one time with him, and to actually feel like he's present! Then there's work.... We are so short handed it's ridiculous! All my time off on various days keeps getting denied. I can't wait for maternity leave to get away from this place!

kaymariec · August 2017

@Amber_Waves I live in Mass so yes it is legal, and I voted to legalize it, but it's the same thing with cigarettes or alcohol. Just because it's legal doesn't mean i should have to sit and smell it while I'm working. My boss is the only HR we have, and he gets mad when I complain about it. What's even more upsetting is that the girl who is up there smoking pot is down by it in front of a two year old and it's a tiny apartment.

clovelyone · August 2017

@muskratbaby I felt super aggravated and annoyed yesterday too. I think I've just been moody lately. SO has been working a lot of OT and busy fixing things so I don't feel like we are getting a lot of quality time besides on the weekends. Plus, it seems like our weekends are always busy and I just want some us time to do something romantic.

txmomma16 · August 2017

@whiska @tennis11785 @flowerpower5838 @breezybee @cait5413 @MJDsquared @clovelyone @kyrwyn @anewadventure @kaylawing @Marley629 Thank you all - Serioulsly. I read all of your responses, and honestly teared up at a lot of them. This pregnancy thing is HARD, and as @anewadventure said, the expectations to just be this rocking pregnant woman are just so high, from all around. Most of my friends had flawless pregnancies with no complications, so sometimes it's hard to remember that I am not alone, and I appreciate all of you for reminding me that I am not. Yesterday was a rough day, and today is looking a little rough, but it's one day closer to Baby, and that's whats important.

@balletnerd I’m so sorry about your dog! I hope that your AC is back running!

@amedliabedlia-2 I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time with your job. FWIW, the ADA requires that your employer give "reasonable accommodations" for all medical needs, and pregnancy is absolutely covered.

@kaylawing That sounds like such a great memory to hold on to. When my grandmother was in town last time she brought some of her mom’s jewelry to my sister and I and did something very similar, telling us about the times she remembers her mom with those specific pieces.

@kaymariec I am so sorry, that sounds like such a headache, literally. I’m sorry that your boss isn’t being reasonable. FWIW, if you report what is happening to the labor board, or OSHA, they may be able to help, but fair warning that it may not come without repercussions. (Repercussions are illegal of course, but that doesn’t mean that people that are already breaking labor laws are going to follow the law…) Also – I’m not sure on what the statutes are in MA, but if she is getting a two year old high through second hand smoke that sounds like child abuse that needs to be reported to the proper authorities.

@andipanicWed121369 Yay for a new computer!!

@mandayno Ugh, that sounds frustrating. All of it!

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