Insensitive A-hole (Vent Session) — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

Insensitive A-hole (Vent Session)

nmd9168nmd9168 member
edited August 2017 in Pregnant after a Loss
I'm sorry, but I have to vent. TW 


This afternoon, I went to a wedding shower for my Cousin-In-Law. I did not want to go anyway. I'm never a big fan of showers, I just find them to be a little boring (except for the food), but I went out of obligation, I guess, and to be a nice family member. This was the first time that I've seen the in-law side of the family since telling my MIL and FIL we're expecting, and of course EVERYONE already knew. I really haven't told many people, but whatever. I have a baby bump now, there's really no hiding it anymore. 

So, we're doing the usual shower things, getting food and cake and stuff like that. Then, I overhear my MIL, across the table saying to someone I don't even know (really loud, mind you. She's already had a few mimosas within the first 30 min of being there) "I THOUGHT I WAS NEVER GOING TO HAVE ANY GRANDCHILDREN [she then looks over at me]. I thought I was going to be stuck with grand-dogs" Then she starts laughing hysterically. At that point, my face is purple from embarrassment. I just got up and walked away because I knew if I said something, I was going to go off and probably never be welcome in the family again. 

My husband and I had one MMC and that was devastating for both of us. We tried for a whole year to get pregnant before the MMC, and then tried for another whole year after the MMC and then had to visit an RE to get pregnant with the baby I'm carrying now. She knows ALL OF THIS. She knows how hard it has been for us. I just hate people so much sometimes. The funny thing is that my husband and I just had an argument about the rude stuff his mother says to me right before I went to the shower because I was dreading going for that exact reason. She has diarrhea of the mouth and does not think, or just doesn't care who it affects when she says stuff.  

I have no plans on visiting my in-laws for a while. Stuff like that is hurtful. Thanks for reading. None of this is abnormal for my MIL, so I guess I should just expect it, but it really bothers me. 
Me: 28 DH: 29
Married: 4-25-2014
TTC: March 2015
BFP: 2-18-16
Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
D&C: 4-2-16
TTCAL: May 2016
IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17



BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Insensitive A-hole (Vent Session)

  • I am so sorry that your MIL said that.  It is especially rude considering she knows your struggle.  

    I think she may be sisters to my MIL  :|  I can never decide if my MIL is that cruel or truly that dumb when she says insensitive stuff. If you ever need to vent--I am here! I get it, girl!
    nmd9168
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  • I'm so sorry about that.  Sometimes people can be so insensitive, and I can't imagine how frustrating and hurtful it must be to hearing something like that, especially since she knows your struggle.

    I think my MIL might be channeling into your MIL as well.  When I had an MMC this past January, she told my husband and I, "oh well, that's a part of life.." and carried on to talk about another pregnancy loss she heard about.  It was devastating to hear her say that, especially since I was still miscarrying at the time (I needed  2 rounds of cytotec and a D&C).  To add insult to an already hurtful situation, she sent my husband and I pictures of a diaper cake she was making because she so happened to be hosting her friend's baby shower around that time as well.  She wanted to ask my opinion on bow colors.  I couldn't talk to her for weeks after that.  I just don't get how people can be that insensitive and clueless!

    She's now happily excited for this baby, offering her two sense in whenever possible.  I just made 20 weeks and she proceeded to tell me how huge I was and that she didn't have any notion of a bump until 5 months... I would think that 20 weeks = 5 months so it makes sense for me to have a little bump. I've only gained 4 pounds since I got pregnant, and my doctors are trying to make me gain weight!  Ughh...

     I hope it gets better for both of us!
    **~About Me~**
    Married: 06/13/16
    BFP: 10/25/16     MMC: 01/24/17 (12 weeks)
    BFP: 04/23/17     Due Date: 01/01/18
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  • @magnolia305 and @laurenjt808 It must be a MIL thing! Maybe when you become a MIL, you turn off the filter and let the insults fly!
    Me: 28 DH: 29
    Married: 4-25-2014
    TTC: March 2015
    BFP: 2-18-16
    Confirmed MMC: 3-31-16
    D&C: 4-2-16
    TTCAL: May 2016
    IUI: 5/13/17-Femara and Trigger, POAS 5/27/17 BFP 5/27/17



    BabyFruit Ticker
    ishmoneymagnolia305
  • Sorry for how she's acting! Mine is the same way. 
    I had a MMC earlier this year, found out a week before my gender reveal party was planned for. My husband's SIL had her gender reveal party a week after I was supposed to have mine. Every time I saw my MIL the week leading up to the party, she would tell me how excited she was about finding out and what decorations they were doing. A month later we were at a family members house and my MIL and the SIL were standing in front of me. My MIL gets down at SIL's belly and starts rubbing and talking to it. Everyone that saw it was visibly uncomfortable except for her. Even though I'm 20 weeks pregnant now, my MMC still bothers me and she made me feel terrible. She also kept asking question like she was trying to prove I did something wrong. It was kind of the last straw with her, so we've distanced ourselves quite a bit. 
    nmd9168
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