Why am I irritated?

afternoonduck · August 2017

So my brother-in-law and his wife have two little girls. They have nicknamed our baby "Moe" because the girls want to scream "WELCOME TO MOE'S" when they come to our house. I thought it was funny/cute/whatever. But then my mom and dad in laws have started consistently using 'Moe' even though that's not what we call the baby, and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

But I DON'T KNOW WHYYYY!!!!! Why am I so irritated? Does this bother anyone else for a good reason? We are not telling anyone the potential names (we are team green), so I don't know what else they would call it... is this hormones? Should I just use my own nickname more regularly to give them something else to say?

And - yes - a valid answer is that I am hormonal and crazy and I should just deal with it, hahaha

whiska · August 2017

I would be livid too. You're this baby's mom, which means you and your partner have the privilege of naming him or her. Not them.

And a name is like a claim, and also suggests a level of familiarity. They haven't even met this baby yet, YOU haven't actually seen the baby yet, and they've decided to hang a moniker on him/her that takes away from your closeness with your child.

I would be pissed because what if this continues past birth? What if they decide to disregard the name you've lovingly chosen and keep using that one? The little girls can keep having their fun but if it were me I'd nip it in the bud with the adults.

ETA - Also team green here, and we just call the baby "the baby"; everyone seems to be doing ok with that. More generally I'm not a big fan of nicknames for fetuses or naming kids before they're born.

NME44 · August 2017

I think if the girls are calling the baby Moe and you're cool with it, it probably has more to do with a general annoyance of your in-laws than with them actually doing anything wrong. (I don't pretend to know how you feel about your in-laws, but I'm speculating for a reason for annoyance.) Not sure if you've mentioned it annoys you or not, but I'm not sure how they would guess that since it's okay for your nieces to do it.

Also, we were team green with my first and we had nicknames for the baby, of course, like Smudge. But no one calls him anything but his name now, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. (But even if it carried over, Moe isn't a terrible nickname no matter what the baby is named, and it's a cute backstory.)

ameliabedelia-2 · August 2017

I wouldn't worry about it. If they don't have anything else to call the baby right now, why not "Moe"? My nephew was born around the time Talladega Nights came out, and he was "Ricky Bobby" until he was born. Now everyone obviously calls him his real name (which they kept secret until birth).

afternoonduck · August 2017

No, I really do like and love my in-laws. Of course we clash over certain things, but always amicably. We see them once a week, and I've been inviting my MIL to my ultrasounds (now that we are not using the dildocam anymore, lol).

I think maybe I have to pre-approve nicknames or something. I have a lot myself that I don't mind, but someone started calling me "Mooky" one time and I was like... um... wut. And no.

Also, I had a speech/performance teacher in high school that would call us "MO!" after our (sad) performances, telling us we were not even worthy of the "Ron" in "MO-RON!" (disclaimer: he sounds like a big bully, but his methods taught us not to care what other people thought of us when we were performing - and it actually worked! Invariably everyone loved him by the end of the year... if someone was really upset, he would gentle down and talk to them. As for me I went from nearly throwing up in front of 12 people to doing full-blown drama in front of 500 without batting an eye).

Nonetheless - maybe I still think of "Moe" as an insult

alysapuggles · August 2017

I would absolutely be annoyed if they tried to really push it after the "joke" had passed, especially if I let them know at some point that we were done with that. My dad suggests a silly name idea every time we see him ("Oh, how is Nicole doing today?" a joke because our DS is Nicholas haha), but that's different to me, so it doesn't bother me. All that being said, I think I'm just extremely irritable lately in general! Like seriously, wtf! I hope they respect your wishes on this if you ask them to stop!

Amber_Waves · August 2017

Yeah, I would just say to the adults, "I have no idea why that irritates me, but it does. Please stop." Who says you have to figure out why and be rational?

afternoonduck · August 2017

You guys hit a good point. I have just been stewing in it instead of actually saying anything...

cait5413 · August 2017

Yeah, I would just mention it bothers you, and see what happens. The association from your teacher could help explain why you don't like it, if you feel you need to give a reason. I love my in-laws too, but they just came for a visit, and my fuse is so short during pregnancy, some things really annoyed me. Especially my FIL. It wasn't baby related, either; I think I just got tired of having people in our space. Like, we went to the store to get a few things and I picked up whole milk for DD and 1% for the rest of us, and FIL says, "I think we need some 2%," and grabs a half-gallon. (DH grew up drinking 2%, I grew up drinking skim, so I usually get 1% as a compromise). This annoyed me for some reason, and then he didn't even open the 2% or use any of it before they left. I was so annoyed, but I also know it is completely silly, because 1) DH will use the 2% and 2) FIL paid for it!

MJDsquared · August 2017

I feel like everyone else has given good advice/experience and I also want to say I think you're totally valid in being annoyed! It's your baby!

But I have to be slightly off-topic (and maybe embarrass myself if this is a well-known thing)... Is "Welcome to Moe's" from something? Like a TV show or movie? Because otherwise I don't get why they want to say it. Hahaha.

mdcd44127 · August 2017

@MJDsquared It's from the chain restaurant Moe's (Southwest Grill). Every time a customer walks in the door, all the workers yell "Welcome to Moe's!". Every. Time. It's a little funny, a little annoying. I love Moe's burritos to an unhealthy level, so I hear that greeting a lot.

MJDsquared · August 2017

@djd0404 Ohhhh okay. I've heard of Moe's but we definitely don't have them here. Thanks for enlightening me!

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