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December 2017 Moms
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Everything I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me About Formula

tamaraaaatamaraaaa member
in December 2017 Moms
I saw this article floating around Facebook and wanted to share with everyone, especially first time moms.  

When I gave birth to my daughter, the focus on breastfeeding was like a million pound weight on my shoulders.  This is not here to spark a debate about breast vs formula because honestly, I don't care.  At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for you and your child and that simply means feeding your child.  If you can BF, that's AMAZING.  If you can't, that's ok too!  I don't think I would have kept my sanity if my old BMB didn't have people saying to me "dude, feeding your baby is what is important no matter how you do it."  It kept me sane.  It kept me pumping.  It took that weight off my shoulders and made me realize we are all just trying to survive and do what is best for our kid, and that is different for everyone.  

https://www.refinery29.com/2017/06/160915/formula-feeding-benefits-mom-guilt?linkId=40512553
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Re: Everything I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me About Formula

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  • MandaynoMandayno member
    If I do BF I really want to supplement with formula as well, especially in the beginning. I want to make sure he's getting what he needs, but not only that I really want a break at night! 

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  • eazybreezy225eazybreezy225 member
    DD1 had to be on soy formula. But with my younger two I exclusively pumped. With DD2 I pumped like a mad woman for 6 months and had built up a stockpile of formula in our deep freezer to feed her for 4 more months after I stopped. I was a slave to the pump.
    With DD3 I had severe postpartum depression. And I had absolutely no spousal support. From the time I gave birth until she was almost a year old it was the darkest time of my life and my marriage. I pumped until DD3 was 3 months old which was a miracle considering the shit I was dealing with.
    No one said a word about it to me... except for DH. He gave me grief and made comments like "what was the point of doing it, now we have to buy formula"
    I can't tell you exactly when things got better, but they eventually did. DH and I are doing great.. but I told him that if he ever put me through that again I'd leave.
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  • cait5413cait5413 member
    As @kaylawing said, pumping can be really tough! Some moms respond great to the pump and can build up a big stockpile, others can barely pump enough to cover the next day (or not even enough to cover). Also, some work situations or jobs are more pumping friendly than others. I had good times and bad times with my pump--sometimes I could pump more than enough no problem, and other times I couldn't pump enough to cover the next day and had to dip into my freezer stash and do power pumping and blue gatorade to build it back up. Pumping output also varies as your period comes back. For me, it was stressful to not always be able to pump enough but then also to worry that DD wasn't getting enough at the breast either. (Pumping supply does not equate to how much baby gets at the breast; babies are much more efficient, but since you can't see how much they're getting, it still caused me anxiety). I'm looking forward to talking with my insurance to see what pumps they offer this time around; hopefully a new one will work well. I've heard great things about the Spectra (I have a couple hand-me-down Medelas I used last time, since I was on a grandfathered insurance plan that did not cover a pump.) And we'll just see how it goes. If we need to supplement for this LO, we will. DD survived; this one will too. :)

    Married May 2014
    DD born August 2016
    Baby #2 due December 2017
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  • dkizz82dkizz82 member
    @Mandayno I said the same thing today. I pumped for the first 3 weeks and couldn't get a good supply backed up in my fridge. I want to supplent formula at night and try to breast feed/pump feed during the day b 
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  • MandaynoMandayno member
    @dkizz82 when supplementing at night, do you still need to get up and pump? From what I've seen from the other mommas, pumping can need a pretty rigid schedule. I plan on only pumping while on maternity leave. My work is not very pumping friendly due to the job we do, and I plan to do exclusively formula after returning to work. 

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  • kaylawingkaylawing member
    @ameliabedelia-2 this happened to me too! 100+ ounces of milk that my daughter refused to drink. I ended up donating it, (still healthy to drink, some babies just won't tolerate the taste- I don't blame them, it was gross!) but it was so hard to get rid of all that hard earned milk. 
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  • NME44NME44 member
    Echoing @kaylawing...the milk isn't bad, it just tastes bad. My son never cared so I never worried about it.
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  • lavashinerlavashiner member
    I wanted to add on what @cait5413 and @kaylawing said about pumping being hard...

    I had pump I got for free at the hospital which was fine. But it took nearly an hour each session to get 4-6 oz on some days. I never had more than 16 oz. in the freezer and was bummed about that (I wanted a stash, gosh darn it!). Just when I was about to stop pumping, a coworker who had twins rented a hospital-grade pump (I think the Medela Symphony) that was out of this world good. If you can swing it (and want to do it), I would rent a hospital grade pump. It was easier and faster. We had three of us coworkers going in on the cost, so it was something like $20/month each. Totally worth it! It was still not the most fun thing to do, and it was hard to make the time for it during the work day, but it did keep me going for a bit longer than I likely would have. 

    @Mandayno my understanding is that your body will produce when it gets used to breastfeeding. So if you don't pump during the night, after some time you won't produce during the night. You might have a few nights of leaking and some discomfort, but it won't last forever. Your body will get the memo. When my daughter started sleeping through the night and I wasn't getting up to BF I woke up in some puddles with some engorgement, but after a few nights I was fine.
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  • disneyfan0511disneyfan0511 member
    @thatlauragirl that cashier was so out of line to say anything. My first was breastfed for 3 weeks - it's all I could do. After pumping around the clock for her while she was in the NICU I just couldn't do it. And if anyone had ever said anything to me about it, I for sure would have had a meltdown. With DD2 I breastfed for 6 months and then went through whatever milk I had stashed and we switched to formula and I never felt one ounce of guilt. Fed is always best, no matter what. 
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  • anewadventureanewadventure member
    thatlauragirl said:
    As long as I live, I'll never forget going to the grocery store on a Thursday evening to go get formula. My son was 10 weeks old, I was in the throes of PPD although I hadn't been diagnosed yet and after 10 weeks of futility I was giving in and getting formula. I felt like shit and the worst kind of mother ever. And as the cashier rang me up, she glanced down at the formula, up at me and said "You know, breast really is best, sweetie". And I crawled into my car and cried like I've never cried before. I spent the rest of his first year hating myself at every.single.feeding. It was so ridiculous.

    This time I'm reading everything I can beforehand, taking a class and I've got a lactation specialist lined up to help me. And if it doesn't work? I will gladly grab some bottles and formula and thank my lucky stars she will still be nourished and taken care of. No more guilt. I beg y'all not to make the same mistake I did obsessing over it. What a monumental waste of such a precious time in my life. My son is healthy and happy and yours will be too.
    and to JUST THINK of how differently this could have gone, if this lady had seized the moment with grace and said, "You know, fed is best. You are doing all you can, mama, and that is enough." 

    This makes me want to cry just reading it. Sending my love and hugs to you, @thatlauragirl, that you had to have that icing on the cake of what probably felt like a terrible day. Mom guilt is so consuming. This lady choosing to say that to you, in that exact moment no less, was so unnecessary and awful. 
                          
                                       Met: September 2005  Married: October 2008   DS: 09/2014
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  • txmomma16txmomma16 member
    @thatlauragirl that woman is awful, and I am so sorry that happened to you. As a FTM I'm just now seeing the true judgement that mom's get, and I can already tell you that I am not handling it well. Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
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  • Henderson2015Henderson2015 member
    edited August 2017
    @Mandayno   Yes, when supplementing at night you will still need to get up and pump if you're trying to maintain your supply. 
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  • dkizz82dkizz82 member
    Mandayno said:
    @dkizz82 when supplementing at night, do you still need to get up and pump? From what I've seen from the other mommas, pumping can need a pretty rigid schedule. I plan on only pumping while on maternity leave. My work is not very pumping friendly due to the job we do, and I plan to do exclusively formula after returning to work. 
    Yes I think I'll have too. With DD I was only pumping and feeding for the first 3 weeks but I had to pump whether she was hungry or not to keep my supply up and because it just hurt not to 
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  • dkizz82dkizz82 member
    @thatlauragirl I cant believe how harsh people can be. I only bf for 3 weeks and was told o had to stop because of some meds I was on. I was beating myself up so bad about it. I have PPD too and might of come over that counter and slapped that biotch 
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