My work is being a TW. Some employers are nice and let you wait and don't make you start FMLA until after the baby is born. Not mine!!! My boss told the FMLA person I was pregnant and she came in with my FMLA papers last Friday! Since I already had a doctor appt that I had to take 4 hours for they asked me to go ahead and code that to FMLA so now I'm already out a 1/2 day!!! I'm going to lie about the rest of my dr. appts. I already hate it here but the fact they are cutting in on time with my baby REALLY pisses me off. Edited because I can't form sentences.
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
@muggle621 Can they actually do that if you have sick time to cover it? Way to penalize a person for letting them know early so they can make plans. That pretty much solidifies my hope that I can keep this from the masses until the AS. Plus, our HR person left the company last week so we have no one right now. I don't look forward to meeting a new person with, "Hi, I'm pregnant." I hope I like the replacement as much as I did the last person. I couldn't stand the one before her.
AFM, the Honda dealership can stuff it sideways today. And H can take a big swig of milk while expecting soda.
Called yesterday to make an appointment for 105,000 mile service. I tried to find what that entailed but came up with junk on initial Google and had about 45 other things to deal with so I trusted the experts. She said it would take 45 minutes and I double-checked it would include the oil change.
Made an appointment for 7:45 this morning. I go in, tell her I have an appt, she finds it, give her the keys, go sit down. CNN is on blast. It's like a damn movie theater (regardless of the channel, I'm sure we've all had about enough of the current news). Finally I ask everyone else in the waiting area if they mind if I turn it down.
H calls and starts badgering me about if I told them about the rattle (long story, engine was replaced in March, attention to detail was lacking, it's been back a number of times since for various rattles and vibrations, they have yet to find the source and fix the one that only happens first thing when it's cold and I'm backing down the driveway). I tell him I did but she didn't connect with it and it needs to be a separate trip. He also nags about if I told them it was a new engine. When I tell him that I did, he keeps nagging and asks if I'm sure they know. I tell him I can't exactly just follow the tech around nagging them.
So so he calls them. The guy he talks to tells him they're only doing an oil change and I supposedly "refused the 105,000 mile service". WTF?! H assumes that I just can't make an appointment and calls me to be obnoxious about it. Dude. This entire situation is why I've told you a million times to just handle it. You won't be able to resist micromanaging it so just leave me out of it. It makes me look ridiculous to have my husband step in in the middle.
So, thoroughly irritated with H and furious at the person who made the appointment, I go talk to the guy. Oh yeah 105,000 is a new water pump, spark plugs, and this and that and another thing. Do I want to do it? I tell him that's why I made the appointment and ask for a loaner car because I have to get to work. Then he looks at things a bit more, "Oh, they already did all of these things when they replaced the engine." *eyeroll* nice communication, guys.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@muggle621 WHAT!?!?!?!?! Can they seriously do that!? Smh. That definitely deserves TW Tuesday.
I don't have a TW this week. But I would like to say something. I know I've been flamed in the past for things I have posted and I apologize for that. You ladies are seriously a very tight knit group and I've grown to really respect you guys and your rules. Organized chaos I like to call it, lol. But I have learned a lot from you all and just wanted to say sorry to those toes I've stepped on. I also put a post in TTGP again for my post, not meaning any ill intentions. I really want to be part of this community because you guys are chill as hell and I really enjoy being here.
Can I vote for my toddler who just can't seem to understand that he cannot bounce and climb and wiggle and kick and elbow my belly especially when I am currently laying on the couch trying not to get sick by being as still as possible. And let's not discuss the injuries to the boobs. Geez kid.
Also, omg @kiki75. I would lose my shizz all over that whole situation.
And @muggle621 can they really do that if you still have regular sick time?!
@muggle621 They definitely can't force you to take FMLA. That's up to you. They CAN say if you don't use intermittent FMLA, we won't protect your job. But how shitty for them to want you to use it now for appointments.
@kiki75@crossfitbabybump@mdfarmchick Unfortunately they can do that legally. I am in HR but I'm not an expert in FMLA so I called someone who is just to make extra special sure.
@kiki75 You deserve a treat after that ordeal!!!! I hope you are are treating yourself today!
@mdfarmchick I have a similar issue with my pets so I somewhat feel your pain. My cat and my dog keep trying to sit on my boobs. Ouch. I hope you feel better soon!
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
I truly am sorry. Definitely not like me to act that way and it was childish. I am looking forward to getting to know you ladies better! Thank you for everything!
@loganjsmommy1978 what a twatwaffle. Way to make people feel bad for just trying to do nice things. Good on you for going to get someone to help de-escalate. I would have been screaming at co-worker #2.
@muggles621 I'd be so aggravated. I'm sorry they're doing that! Boo!!
@kiki75 your commitment to the task is better than mine! I'd have a hard time staying the course and going through those annoying conversations by that point--good on ya!
@mdfarmchick I'm having a bigger issue with my 3.5 y-o than I am with my 1.5 y-o with the jumping on and elbows. It just totally slips her mind, and she feels bad if I jump or shift, but she's a ball of energy sometimes and gets caught up in the moment! Poor baby
I've been trying to schedule my appointments since last week. The new procedure for scheduling at my clinic is downright backwards. I call, leave a VM, and they call back "within 24 hours" to schedule one appointment at a time. With my first, they scheduled through 20 weeks and then at 20, they scheduled through the end. With my second, they sent me a list of appointments already scheduled and I had to call if they didn't work. With this, my third, they are only doing one appointment at a time! It's IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of the scheduler, and when I finally did this morning, she asked to call me back! I waited for 2 hours. Two hours.
Then a woman who was not the scheduler called me and said "Jessica" is swamped and she's calling me to help Jessica out. That woman who was helping was far more adept than Jessica at scheduling, managing, and checking providers' availability. She also let me schedule through 24 weeks because I was so understanding and had "done it all before" So in the end, Jessica was kind of a TW but I also feel bad b/c I think she's set up to fail with their new system. Helper lady at the end made things all better!
I don't have a TW this week. But I would like to say something. I know I've been flamed in the past for things I have posted and I apologize for that. You ladies are seriously a very tight knit group and I've grown to really respect you guys and your rules. Organized chaos I like to call it, lol. But I have learned a lot from you all and just wanted to say sorry to those toes I've stepped on. I also put a post in TTGP again for my post, not meaning any ill intentions. I really want to be part of this community because you guys are chill as hell and I really enjoy being here.
I truly am sorry. Definitely not like me to act that way and it was childish. I am looking forward to getting to know you ladies better! Thank you for everything!
I like to QFP positive things too.
@crossfitbabybump I appreciate the sincere apology. It takes a lot of someone to apologize in the first place and an even bigger one to own up after everything that went down. I think it's fair to say that it's easy for disagreements like this to end up childish. When it's a matter of principle v. intent and no one thinks they've done anything wrong, it's usually hard to find a middle ground.
TTGP is incredibly tight because the ladies who live there have gone through some of the hardest times in their lives together. The rules are extensive and detailed, but they were created to (1) create a tighter community and (2) protect the members from going through further pain. When those rules are ignored, the masses come to protect one another and keep the community from lowering its standards. It's very easy to assume the worst out of someone who hurt people you care about without acknowledgement of wrong. And when they prioritize defending themselves over apologizing, it's easy to assume that they always prioritize themselves over others.
I understand it wasn't easy for you wanting to join a BMB when the TTGP is prevalent across the site. FWIW, I think you're finally starting to see what a great community it is and why TTGP pride runs deep. It's the kind of perspective you can only get by lurking and getting to know us. I can't say this apology is going to mend every fence for you, but it'll go a long way. Just know that if snark comes your way later on, we snark everyone. The best thing you can do is take it in stride and keep a sense of humor. It's what keeps us going.
PS, I read your TTGP apology too. While I think it was just as sincere, I'd watch the "pray for you" around the TTGP girls. I understand you're religious and that it's coming from a good place. It's just that the girls hear enough of that line sarcastically and many take offense to God playing a direct role in reproduction (i.e., this person is blessed enough to get a baby, this one doesn't get one, this one can wait a few years and a few thousand dollars first). Many are religious, but it's just not the place to throw that in. Remember, science first, last, and always
One last thing. You probably remember that the early March drama resulted in a regular TTGP member being banned. While that account is permanently locked, the user did find her way back to the site and her TTGP family. She's staying off the BMB for the most part, but she has her own spaces on TB and she peeks into March every now and again. So I think it's time to wipe our hands of this. We've all hurt and been hurt, but this drama has taken up enough of everyone's energy. Time to move on
Me: 25 | DH: 32 TTC #1: November 2016 IF Dx NIR PCOS: March 2017 BFP: June 2017 | DS: February 2018
@bethennyfrankel I 100% agree with you! I apologize for your friend that got banned, too.
I was reading a lot of other people who have received some snarks and while others acted like I did in defense, some took it with a grain of salt and I realized I should have done the same thing. I had no right coming here, acting the way I did to such a great group of girls. And I wish nothing but the best for everyone, especially the women in the TTGP board. I wish I hadn't been so ignorant and had read the rules and I know it may not mend fences with all of them but I want them all to truly know I am deeply sorry and want to start over, if they'll have me.
@mdfarmchick my 2 year old decided to full on body slam my stomach the other day. I was not a fan of that. Another time he grabbed my boob/nipple while trying to catch his balance.
My TW complaint. I have a non-negotiable due date for a work related payment I need to make (this week). I can't get the payment through the system because there's a 2 minute set up task that I don't have the authority to do, but the coworker who does said she's too busy. She's fairly inexperienced, and in an entry level position. I'm not her manager, or in her supervisory structure (I report to her manager's boss), but we are in the same department (and sit right near each other), and are on friendly terms. However, when she's needed information that only I can provide, I have always done it within an hour to not hold her up with her work even when I've been swamped. She's known about this for several days and can't take 2 minutes to do it even though she knows she's 100% holding me up.
@crossfitbabybump That was a solid, thoughtful apology. Thank you! I think this is great, and we can all feel more comfortable moving forward supporting each other through this crazy time.
My TW is MH's cough. First off, it's pretty severe, and he's overworked right now too so I feel bad for him. We're going nuts washing our hands every five minutes hoping I don't get sick since I basically can't take much to help if I do get sick. AND he kept me up half the night coughing. So annoying. ... I will admit part of my annoyance is also related to the fact that I want to be the "taken care of" person right now, damnit!
@crossfitbabybump That was a solid, thoughtful apology. Thank you! I think this is great, and we can all feel more comfortable moving forward supporting each other through this crazy time.
Oh, OP sorry to make TW Tuesday about my apology lol but I figured this was the place to do it since I was being a TW and I didn't know if I should just make a whole new post or not. :P
@vflux33 I'm sorry MH is still sick. Can he sleep on the couch?? Joking. If it makes you feel better DH had severe walking pneumonia for more than two months when I was pregnant with DS in the first trimester and I never caught it. Sleeping in the same bed, in a hotel room while he was taking a class for work for 6 weeks. I don't know how careful we were about touching and kissing during that time because I had no idea he had walking pneumonia. The doctor told him the first time he just had allergies. Kid you not. Anyway, maybe there's a little reassurance in there somewhere for you. And if you aren't doing all the things yet, gargle with salt water and drink lemon or lemon with honey, and cinnamon with honey is really good for a natural cough suppressant. Hope he feels better soon.
@mdfarmchick That does make me feel better, thanks! He offered to sleep in the guest room yesterday but I said no because knew it would screw up his sleep and I want him to get all the sleep he can and get better ASAP...
So sorry for all of you that have to deal with TWs today. @muggle621 That just doesn't seem right to me. @kiki75 Ugh, I hate dealing with car stuff. @loganjsmommy1978 I can't understand why some people cannot just treat others as the adults they are and let them make their own choices. Maybe you could write a little card to coworker #1 saying how much you appreciate what she does. @vflux33 Really hope you don't get sick! Can your DH take a sick day? I feel like being overworked does not help one's immune system.
I'm going to call myself a TW for being irrationally sad that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt broke up. Why do I even care????
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@becausescience He's working from home, which is helping a bit, but I think he should take a full on day or 2 because it's all just too much already. Aaaaaaand you've reminded me how out of touch I am with celebrity culture because I have no clue who Anna Faris is.
@loganjsmommy1978 Coworker #2 sounds like a lot of fun. I agree with one of the posters (can't find the post now), that you should write Coworker #1 a small thank you card. Maybe put it in the "snack station" for all the other coworkers to sign. I loved our treat days at work...they really helped if it was a rough day!
@crossfitbabybump No worries ! I think you're awesome for apologizing ! I'm glad everyone is being really positive ! We need more of this in the world . * I apologize for any weirdness with sentence structure or misspellings . I'm on mobile .
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Re: Twatwaffle Tuesday 8/8
Edited because I can't form sentences.
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
AFM, the Honda dealership can stuff it sideways today. And H can take a big swig of milk while expecting soda.
Called yesterday to make an appointment for 105,000 mile service. I tried to find what that entailed but came up with junk on initial Google and had about 45 other things to deal with so I trusted the experts. She said it would take 45 minutes and I double-checked it would include the oil change.
Made an appointment for 7:45 this morning. I go in, tell her I have an appt, she finds it, give her the keys, go sit down. CNN is on blast. It's like a damn movie theater (regardless of the channel, I'm sure we've all had about enough of the current news). Finally I ask everyone else in the waiting area if they mind if I turn it down.
H calls and starts badgering me about if I told them about the rattle (long story, engine was replaced in March, attention to detail was lacking, it's been back a number of times since for various rattles and vibrations, they have yet to find the source and fix the one that only happens first thing when it's cold and I'm backing down the driveway). I tell him I did but she didn't connect with it and it needs to be a separate trip. He also nags about if I told them it was a new engine. When I tell him that I did, he keeps nagging and asks if I'm sure they know. I tell him I can't exactly just follow the tech around nagging them.
So so he calls them. The guy he talks to tells him they're only doing an oil change and I supposedly "refused the 105,000 mile service". WTF?! H assumes that I just can't make an appointment and calls me to be obnoxious about it. Dude. This entire situation is why I've told you a million times to just handle it. You won't be able to resist micromanaging it so just leave me out of it. It makes me look ridiculous to have my husband step in in the middle.
So, thoroughly irritated with H and furious at the person who made the appointment, I go talk to the guy. Oh yeah 105,000 is a new water pump, spark plugs, and this and that and another thing. Do I want to do it? I tell him that's why I made the appointment and ask for a loaner car because I have to get to work. Then he looks at things a bit more, "Oh, they already did all of these things when they replaced the engine." *eyeroll* nice communication, guys.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@muggle621 WHAT!?!?!?!?! Can they seriously do that!? Smh. That definitely deserves TW Tuesday.
I don't have a TW this week. But I would like to say something. I know I've been flamed in the past for things I have posted and I apologize for that. You ladies are seriously a very tight knit group and I've grown to really respect you guys and your rules. Organized chaos I like to call it, lol. But I have learned a lot from you all and just wanted to say sorry to those toes I've stepped on. I also put a post in TTGP again for my post, not meaning any ill intentions. I really want to be part of this community because you guys are chill as hell and I really enjoy being here.
Also, omg @kiki75. I would lose my shizz all over that whole situation.
And @muggle621 can they really do that if you still have regular sick time?!
@loganjsmommy1978 Coworker 2 is definitely a twatwaffle. Wow.
They definitely can't force you to take FMLA. That's up to you. They CAN say if you don't use intermittent FMLA, we won't protect your job. But how shitty for them to want you to use it now for appointments.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@kiki75 You deserve a treat after that ordeal!!!! I hope you are are treating yourself today!
@mdfarmchick I have a similar issue with my pets so I somewhat feel your pain. My cat and my dog keep trying to sit on my boobs. Ouch. I hope you feel better soon!
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
@muggle621 that is nuts! That just doesn't sound right at all...
@kiki75 your commitment to the task is better than mine! I'd have a hard time staying the course and going through those annoying conversations by that point--good on ya!
@mdfarmchick I'm having a bigger issue with my 3.5 y-o than I am with my 1.5 y-o with the jumping on and elbows. It just totally slips her mind, and she feels bad if I jump or shift, but she's a ball of energy sometimes and gets caught up in the moment! Poor baby
Then a woman who was not the scheduler called me and said "Jessica" is swamped and she's calling me to help Jessica out. That woman who was helping was far more adept than Jessica at scheduling, managing, and checking providers' availability. She also let me schedule through 24 weeks because I was so understanding and had "done it all before" So in the end, Jessica was kind of a TW but I also feel bad b/c I think she's set up to fail with their new system. Helper lady at the end made things all better!
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
I like to QFP positive things too.
@crossfitbabybump I appreciate the sincere apology. It takes a lot of someone to apologize in the first place and an even bigger one to own up after everything that went down. I think it's fair to say that it's easy for disagreements like this to end up childish. When it's a matter of principle v. intent and no one thinks they've done anything wrong, it's usually hard to find a middle ground.
TTGP is incredibly tight because the ladies who live there have gone through some of the hardest times in their lives together. The rules are extensive and detailed, but they were created to (1) create a tighter community and (2) protect the members from going through further pain. When those rules are ignored, the masses come to protect one another and keep the community from lowering its standards. It's very easy to assume the worst out of someone who hurt people you care about without acknowledgement of wrong. And when they prioritize defending themselves over apologizing, it's easy to assume that they always prioritize themselves over others.
I understand it wasn't easy for you wanting to join a BMB when the TTGP is prevalent across the site. FWIW, I think you're finally starting to see what a great community it is and why TTGP pride runs deep. It's the kind of perspective you can only get by lurking and getting to know us. I can't say this apology is going to mend every fence for you, but it'll go a long way. Just know that if snark comes your way later on, we snark everyone. The best thing you can do is take it in stride and keep a sense of humor. It's what keeps us going.
One last thing. You probably remember that the early March drama resulted in a regular TTGP member being banned. While that account is permanently locked, the user did find her way back to the site and her TTGP family. She's staying off the BMB for the most part, but she has her own spaces on TB and she peeks into March every now and again. So I think it's time to wipe our hands of this. We've all hurt and been hurt, but this drama has taken up enough of everyone's energy. Time to move on
TTC #1: November 2016
IF Dx NIR PCOS: March 2017
BFP: June 2017 | DS: February 2018
@bethennyfrankel I 100% agree with you! I apologize for your friend that got banned, too.
I was reading a lot of other people who have received some snarks and while others acted like I did in defense, some took it with a grain of salt and I realized I should have done the same thing. I had no right coming here, acting the way I did to such a great group of girls. And I wish nothing but the best for everyone, especially the women in the TTGP board. I wish I hadn't been so ignorant and had read the rules and I know it may not mend fences with all of them but I want them all to truly know I am deeply sorry and want to start over, if they'll have me.
Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot!
ETA: because I can't type apparently today.
My TW complaint. I have a non-negotiable due date for a work related payment I need to make (this week). I can't get the payment through the system because there's a 2 minute set up task that I don't have the authority to do, but the coworker who does said she's too busy. She's fairly inexperienced, and in an entry level position. I'm not her manager, or in her supervisory structure (I report to her manager's boss), but we are in the same department (and sit right near each other), and are on friendly terms. However, when she's needed information that only I can provide, I have always done it within an hour to not hold her up with her work even when I've been swamped. She's known about this for several days and can't take 2 minutes to do it even though she knows she's 100% holding me up.
Pregnant with #2:
Agreed! You guys are seriously the coolest!
Really, they thought it was allergies? WTH.
@vflux33 Hopefully he gets better soon and you don't get it!
@muggle621 That just doesn't seem right to me.
@kiki75 Ugh, I hate dealing with car stuff.
@loganjsmommy1978 I can't understand why some people cannot just treat others as the adults they are and let them make their own choices. Maybe you could write a little card to coworker #1 saying how much you appreciate what she does.
@vflux33 Really hope you don't get sick! Can your DH take a sick day? I feel like being overworked does not help one's immune system.
I'm going to call myself a TW for being irrationally sad that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt broke up. Why do I even care????
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
* I apologize for any weirdness with sentence structure or misspellings . I'm on mobile .
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18