New Here Loss Mentioned

cassafrass15 · August 2017

Hello all,

I've been lurking around on this message board for a while and I have deeply appreciated the support you all all have given me without even knowing I was here.

DH and I have been TTC for 2 years now and the journey has been frustrating, confusing and sad. After multiple cycles using letrozole, we had a miscarriage January 2 of this year. My previous RE told me, over the course of a year, that I had "plenty of eggs" and then that my "egg reserve is low" and at our last appointment before I left for another RE "you may be perimenopausal." This all from 1 set of blood tests. He also diagnosed me with an "ovulation disorder" but always stopped short of calling it PCOS.

I started with a new RE earlier this month. He seems motivated and less prone to scare me to death without reason. He gave me more information in 1hr than the other RE did in 1 year. He assured me my follicle count did not reflect perimenopause. He sent my for an HSG (which the other RE never even mentioned) and found that I may have a polyp in my uterus. Since my other RE never suggested an IUI, and never prescribed clomid, he suggested a round of clomid and an IUI. I was so hopeful. My period has never been regular and I have often had 15 day cycles since going off BC 2 1/2 years ago. This month I had a 29 cycle. You can all guess that I allowed myself to believe it had worked. But today AF visited with a vengeance. And now I am discouraged. I don't know what our next step should be. Should I try another IUI or should I start thinking seriously about IVF considering it has been 2 years TTC and almost 8 months since my miscarriage? I'm feeling a little lost. Thanks for listening.

suchaglencoco · August 2017

I am so sorry for you loss. Miscarriages are one of the most difficult experiences any woman can go through.
I am glad you found another RE that seems to work a lot better with what you need. I think what you do next, iui vs ivf, is a very personal choice. It also may be one that is made depending on how your insurance is set up. Some insurance require 2 or 3 iuis before moving on. My clinic preferred to do 3 before moving on to ivf, but it our history, our old RE was fine moving on after only 2.
I think it's a question you'll have to ask you RE about for a better opinion since he knows more about your health and history.
I will say that ivf is a lot more involved than I ever imagined before I went through it. I thought it was just a step or 2 above an iui, but it's actually like a mountain compared to a molehill. It is a lot more expensive and a lot more work inside and outside of the office.

Whatever decision you make will be right because you'll have been the one to make the decision. Just make sure you have all the information you can gather before making a final judgement on it.

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

I am so sorry for your loss and that you're here. I experienced my loss on Jan 7 and tomorrow was my due date for a singleton but since it was twins it wouldve been july...I thought 2017 was my year of miracles and here I am still trying to get pregnant so I get it. I hate that your first RE was so not with it ugh!! Seems like you're on a better track now. Some folks get lucky with an IUI and others do not. I dont know if insurance covers anything for you BUT I know that can play an issue to. I did 7 IUIs and moved on to IVF. At times I wished I moved on sooner since I'm older and it seems i dont make as many eggs or normal embryos as i would like. Theres also so much to consider in each process for sure.

How is your AMH level? That sometimes plays a role on the time you have left of getting eggs. I wish you the best of luck...I wish IUI could work for everyone. Sorry AF showed but its just a step in your journey. good luck to u!

puppyluv13 · August 2017

**TW**
Let me start by saying that I'm so sorry for your loss... It's so hard to lose something when you want it so bad... But hopefully your rainbow baby comes soon

I've had very similar things happen. My doctor said I had "PCOS characteristics" but never diagnosed me with PCOS. And for that I was put on Metformin. I then went through 4 cycles (medicated and an IUI) and my RE spotted a polyp. She put a hold on my next cycle, and put me on BC for a month to try and get rid of the polyp. That didn't work so she did a D&C and removed the polyp (and 5 others she didn't see on the scan!)... After surgery I had to wait another 6 months for healing... But our next cycle (IUI#2) in late May actually worked and we finally got a BFP, only for it to end in a CP/MC that lasted about 5 wks. Even though we've had 5 failed cycles, each one seems more promising than the other... and it seems that each cycle we eliminate something that could be hindering the process.

Have you been prescribed Metformin? My RE said she puts almost all of her patients on it, and it seems like a lot of ladies on here take it too... Did your doc say anything about removing the polyp or being concerned about it?

If you are comfortable with your new RE, I wouldn't give up hope yet. Sometimes it's a trial and error thing and you guys just need to find what works. Also, don't let your RE send you straight to IVF. Our RE mentioned it last year, but it absolutely isn't an option for us (financially). So we told her that we could only afford to do a couple more IUI's, and that's what we wanted to try before throwing in the towel... And she was ok with it! So i think being on this board and learning about infertility procedures, and being open and honest with your doctor, is huge when going through this process.

cassafrass15 · August 2017

Thank you all so much for your replies.

@suchaglencoco I didn't even think to check my insurance, which I know makes me sound like an uninformed dunce. The whole process has just been very overwhelming and I sometimes leave my good questions at the door when I walk into the RE's office. I will check on what my insurance covers and requires, because that will have a huge bearing on our decisions, for sure. And I also, apparently incorrectly, assumed that IVF was a mere step up from IUI. Guess I had better do some serious research. Thank you for opening my eyes! I wish you luck on your journey.

@Hopeful_mom I am so sorry to hear that you have also experienced loss. I know how painful and unfair it feels. Especially with what seems like my entire Facebook friends list pregnant right now. I am 32, which I thought was "spring chicken" in baby-making years, but my RE also mentioned that my AMH is lower than he would like to see. I think you're right and that's a big consideration that I didn't think about before - if my egg reserve is low, i guess IVF may or may not be an option. So much to consider! Thank you for your good advice! Sending 2017 baby vibes your way.

@puppyluv13 I am pained to hear that you suffered loss as well. It's such an awful feeling, and I didn't even know I was pregnant so I'm sure it would have been harder after a BFP. It gives me so much hope to hear that you feel you've been eliminating the issues one by one and that each cycle seems more promising. I've never heard of metformin (yet another thing I wish my previous RE had mentioned) but I will ask my RE about it at our next appointment. Thank you! He said he wasn't concerned with the polyp and hasn't mentioned it again - hoping that's a good sign. The endometriosis is another thing, though. He suggested laparoscopy to clean it out if we don't get a BFP in the next couple of cycles. My last RE kept pushing for IVF, even after only seeing him for a few months, but I just wasn't ready for that and I really think he gave up on me because of it. This new RE hasn't even mentioned it once, which I appreciate. I feel much more comfortable with him as a result, and I think you're right about being honest with him.

To all ladies, I am learning so much from you! I'll have lots of good questions (and posts to remind me what they are when I panic) for my RE next time I see him. Thank you for taking the time to respond and enlighten me. I greatly appreciate your advice! Baby dust to you all.

suchaglencoco · August 2017

@cassafrass15, you're not a dunce! It's a lot to take in and it's very, very, very overwhelming! I highly suggest taking a notebook with you to your appointments. The days leading up to them when you think of a question, write it in the notebook and leave room for your answer. Also, I'm surprised no one at your RE's office has discussed your insurance with you. At our first consult, they had someone from their Provider Services department come in and discuss what our insurance required, what testing should be covered, and what they believed would be out of pocket expenses to us. I suggest you call your RE office and see if they have someone like that in house and if not, contact your insurance company. One of the worst things is when you think an expensive test or rx is covered and it's not and you're scrambling to find the money somewhere.
If you have any appointment coming up with your RE, see if you can discuss what they think your ivf protocol would be or ask if they have a mock up schedule to look at. For our fresh cycle, I at one point had to take 3 different injections a night for weeks leading up to my egg retrieval. It's a lot different than a trigger shot for iui.
One of the most important things I learned was that there is no stupid question when it comes to this stuff. You're spending thousands of dollars on procedures that only work a small percentage of the time even when they're done 100% correct. Always have as much information as you can get to make sure you have the best shot possible for a positive experience.

cassafrass15 · August 2017

@suchaglencoco A notebook is a genius idea! In fact, I took your advice and wrote down some questions today before they slipped my mind. And I will definitely ask what he expects for an IVF protocol. I'm learning so many new terms on this site. It's liberating to learn the lingo so that I can be better informed. Thank you again!

Hopeful_mom · August 2017

cassafrass15 i forget things i want to ask all the time so I make lists too. My RE is great and i can email her questions if I forget something i wanted to ask during out meeting. She also has come to know me and asks if we got through the list i have. SO just know you're not out of the ordinary and your RE isn't going to think anything of it as so mnay of us do it.
I've gotten to the point that i keep my own notes on my bw and US updates so i can compare my growth of my follies etc.
You should know i've been at this for a while and they'll always be a new abbreviation that i will learn...sorry you have to get the hang of it but it get s easier.
I will say i hate in this new world that they make it like we can now have babies into our 50's and its just NOT true, wish it was but its not. Here's the good thing even if you have Low AMH, being 32 you should still be making good quality eggs maybe just not many or you may not have as much time left to get them. I'm 41 now and still have hopes in becoming mom so try and hang in there. This isn't a fun journey, in fact its quite a scary one but once you learn more about it, it should get easier to move on.

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