@eggplantface Yeah it's super annoying, I'm lucky my mum understands, she's the only one really, she had really bad pregnancies and I'm grateful because I could have it worse..but what's it anyone's problem if I want to sleep all day! Exaggerating? Why would I need to exaggerate to you! Idk if it's tough love but I am getting really annoyed. My SIL had her baby yesterday and everyone's telling her what to do, and they're not even always right! I'm actually looking forward to that, because I want to go off lol. Yes our hormones are kicking in back off lol Also, everyone is different. Just because some miraculously don't feel anything doesn't mean I'm superwoman too
@eggplantface I HATE that and what @clc515 mentioned. I was told today if DH and I make it through this pregnancy it'll be a miracle because I was snarky to begin with. BUT if I react harshly to shitty comments then I know I'll hear something related to me being hormonal. So infuriating.
I called my mom as soon as I found out we are having another boy (3 boys now). Her response was "oh well darn." With the most disappointed tone possible. I know she wants a granddaughter, but, really?!?
@hms1219 I'm so sorry that was her reaction. I remember how annoying that was last time around. I'm already anticipating it this time as well so I'm not sure if we will share the second or not. We don't know the sex yet but we already have 1 girl and 3 boys
DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018
@sabriel1 it was a definitely a buzz kill. This is my last pregnancy, and I would have loved a little girl, but I'm excited to have this little guy and be a boy mom. Her negative reaction now has me dreading telling MIL because this will make 5 grandsons for her.
Mom: BTW, I'm having cataract surgery on August 24th. (She's on the young side for this, I think...) Me: OMG. Do you need help with anything?? Do you want me to drive you? Mom: I want to be able to SEE THAT BABY!
That sucks that she wasn't excited @hms1219. I'm sure she will get over it. I don't know if I will handle reactions like that well. It's our first so we were happy either way as long as the baby was healthy.
@hms1219 that sucks but at the same time I don't think people even realize what they're saying sometimes. Still annoying though. It's like hello, it's still my baby that I love! Some people have no filter.
@Starynightsky24 I'm Catholic so I don't get that response but we get, do you know how that happens? Do you have cable? Are you trying for a (insert any sport) team? This is kid 6 so we've been hearing them for a LONG time. Haha! Gets old and I always want to ask, do you really think you're the first to ask me that. My sister in law suggested my husband start telling people he'd give them pointers if they needed help in that department.
@Starynightsky24 I'm Catholic so I don't get that response but we get, do you know how that happens? Do you have cable? Are you trying for a (insert any sport) team? This is kid 6 so we've been hearing them for a LONG time. Haha! Gets old and I always want to ask, do you really think you're the first to ask me that. My sister in law suggested my husband start telling people he'd give them pointers if they needed help in that department.
So rude!!! I don't know why people don't just mind their own business. It's not like it's their kid. I love your SIL's suggestion. That is awesome.
@Starynightsky24@mpp06 That anyone thinks they have the right to comment on anyone's life choices that are not harming anyone else is beyond me. But hey, without their stupid comments we wouldn't have this entertaining and mildly infuriating thread!
ETA tags
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
I've had multiple people ask me (since we announced we are having twins making it three total kids under 2 years) if I am going to quit my job. I feel like that is such a rude and personal question. Also, why is it automatically assumed that our of DH and I, that I'm the one who should quit? Our mortgage, diapers, and formula aren't going to pay for themselves people. And why do people care if I work or not?
@Starynightsky24 I laughed so hard when she sent me the text saying that! And knowing my husband he'll prob use it. He told someone once when they asked if we knew how that happened, "well I do but don't tell her!". Hahaha!!!
@eggplantface yes exactly! It's so odd to me after I really thought about it, like, uh you realize your asking us about our sex life? How is that ok?! Lol! Does make for good convo here though like you said!
I called my mom as soon as I found out we are having another boy (3 boys now). Her response was "oh well darn." With the most disappointed tone possible. I know she wants a granddaughter, but, really?!?
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that. Congratulations on your third boy!
@Starynightsky24 I'm Catholic so I don't get that response but we get, do you know how that happens? Do you have cable? Are you trying for a (insert any sport) team? This is kid 6 so we've been hearing them for a LONG time. Haha! Gets old and I always want to ask, do you really think you're the first to ask me that. My sister in law suggested my husband start telling people he'd give them pointers if they needed help in that department.
Excellent response. I highly suggest using it. im one of 9 and while my mom never said it she told me she always wanted to reply "we sure do know what causes it and we thoroughly enjoy it."
@hms1219 That's what I'm afraid I'm going to hear if this baby is another boy! My mom and grandmother aren't shy about saying how much they want it to be a girl. My cousins have all boys and I have a boy, so no girls on that side of the family right now. But seriously, they should be excited either way!
@meatball37 That would drive me insane! It's so degrading to working moms to hear stuff like that. I work full-time and spend plenty of quality time with my son. We were fortunate enough to have my husband stay at home with DS after he was born for two years, but both of us always felt like we were both being judged for this arrangement for various reasons.
On a related topic, my husband always complained that he was left out on the playground and other places because he was the only dad there. And several times he was made to feel like a predator with women giving him stink-eye or one memorable time in the Chick-fil-A play area where there was only one woman in there with her kid he came in with DS and she went and got her husband so she wouldn't be alone in the room with him.
I've had multiple people ask me (since we announced we are having twins making it three total kids under 2 years) if I am going to quit my job. I feel like that is such a rude and personal question. Also, why is it automatically assumed that our of DH and I, that I'm the one who should quit? Our mortgage, diapers, and formula aren't going to pay for themselves people. And why do people care if I work or not?
@hms1219 I'm sorry you got this response. I'm a little worried for a similar one from my in laws. We have daughter...and both my husband and I are perfectly fine with 2 girls. But DH is the last one to carry the family name so his dad is really into us having a boy to carry on the name. And my MIL and SIL really want the baby to be a boy because SIL just had a boy last month (our daughters are the same age difference ad these babies will be). They want her little guy to have a boy cousin to play with. We already got a less than excited reaction to our pregnancy announcement from MIL (still don't really know why - but she did apologize). So I could definitely see a similar reaction if it's another girl.
I've lurked on these boards for years before I started posting. I've read so many posts about gender disappointment and never thought I'd get it from my mom. I know when baby is here she will be excited and happy and it was just word vomit but it kind of knocked the wind out of my sails for a sec. We haven't been able to get MIL on the phone. She is traveling for work and super busy. I almost don't want to be in the room when DH tells her just in case.
And I am super excited for the "so when will you try again?" comments. *eye roll*
I have felt really bad about neglecting my SO, but I have felt so horrible. Even on zofran, I am nauseous all the time. This morning, before getting out of bed, he has his arms around me. I was really uncomfortable (nauseous, headache, etc.) so I moved his arm. One of my cats was curled up with me and I scratched her head. SO got JEALOUS! He asked what if he was petting his dog and ignoring me? I said it would be fine to pet his dog. Ugh! He got jealous over a cat. I know he needs more attention, but that was ridiculous.
@JandJ62914 oh my gosh my MIL is the SAME way. Not too long ago she wanted to leave DD with one of her friends so we could go shopping. I don't know this woman so I said no. She said "well I know her" and I said okay well I'm her mom. She literally said "you are her mom but she's my baby too". I just walked away. Sorry, lady, your sons semen contribution does NOT give you partial possession of my kid.
My MIL is the sweetest but we're staying with them this weekend trying to help with a massive garage sale and she won't let me move or carry anything. She keeps yelling at me lol. That's why I'm here though! It's obviously with the best intentions but I'm not disabled and not even very big yet. Only 13 wks.
My mom won't let me carry anything either. This is baby number 5 and I sometimes carry around both my 2 year old and 10 month old at the same time (50lbs combined) but she doesn't want me to carry some groceries, yeah ok mom
DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018
@magnolia305 that irks me. I had several people this pregnancy that felt the need to tell random people they saw. "O I told X that you were pregnant, hope that's ok". And this is someone that pokes fun at the number of kids we have, but doesn't seem to have a problem sharing our news with everyone they see fit to tell. I'm sorry that happened, I don't understand why anyone thinks that's ok unless they've specifically asked if you mind if they share YOUR news.
My MIL was telling people I was pregnant (without permission) at my grandmothers visitation tonight. I am so irate still...
Did you tell her not to tell anyone? I guess stuff like this doesn't bother me like it does some people. IMO it's not really worth being pissed off over.
I have told my MIL not to tell anyone. We've had losses in the past and I have a lot of anxiety over even our immediate family knowing. Plus, it's not like she was telling HER family--which I would have been less pissed about. She was telling my extended family--people she doesn't even know. She loves attention and this visitation wasn't about her. This was her way of making her the center of attention.
I have told my MIL not to tell anyone. We've had losses in the past and I have a lot of anxiety over even our immediate family knowing. Plus, it's not like she was telling HER family--which I would have been less pissed about. She was telling my extended family--people she doesn't even know. She loves attention and this visitation wasn't about her. This was her way of making her the center of attention.
That sucks. I guess maybe chalk it up to a lesson learned and not tell her things until you want it public.
I texted my friend yesterday to tell her I was having a boy, and she responded that she can't say she's surprised. Because she saw (unflattering) pics of me on FB from the other day and I "certainly look different" and am not "carrying at all" how I did with DD.
@Starynightsky24 I'm Catholic so I don't get that response but we get, do you know how that happens? Do you have cable? Are you trying for a (insert any sport) team? This is kid 6 so we've been hearing them for a LONG time. Haha! Gets old and I always want to ask, do you really think you're the first to ask me that. My sister in law suggested my husband start telling people he'd give them pointers if they needed help in that department.
Ha ha same here! My favorite response to "Don't you know what causes that " and other comments similar... "Yes and my husband is REALLY good at it"
Shuts people down immediately.... like in one Instant....
@Starynightsky24 I'm Catholic so I don't get that response but we get, do you know how that happens? Do you have cable? Are you trying for a (insert any sport) team? This is kid 6 so we've been hearing them for a LONG time. Haha! Gets old and I always want to ask, do you really think you're the first to ask me that. My sister in law suggested my husband start telling people he'd give them pointers if they needed help in that department.
Ha ha same here! My favorite response to "Don't you know what causes that " and other comments similar... "Yes and my husband is REALLY good at it"
Shuts people down immediately.... like in one Instant....
My husband literally called it right after the sex. "That did it." I'm going to start telling shitty people that he knew exactly what he was doing and is damn good at it too.
My mom won't let me carry anything either. This is baby number 5 and I sometimes carry around both my 2 year old and 10 month old at the same time (50lbs combined) but she doesn't want me to carry some groceries, yeah ok mom
My 3 year old is 45lbs (97th percentile. He comes from a family of men that range between 6'4-6'8 so he looks like a 5-6 year old) anyway I pick him up sometimes and everyone yells at me. Like I get it he looks huge but I carried him before so my body is use to it. Ugh it's so annoying.
@Starynightsky24 I'm Catholic so I don't get that response but we get, do you know how that happens? Do you have cable? Are you trying for a (insert any sport) team? This is kid 6 so we've been hearing them for a LONG time. Haha! Gets old and I always want to ask, do you really think you're the first to ask me that. My sister in law suggested my husband start telling people he'd give them pointers if they needed help in that department.
Ha ha same here! My favorite response to "Don't you know what causes that " and other comments similar... "Yes and my husband is REALLY good at it"
Shuts people down immediately.... like in one Instant....
My husband literally called it right after the sex. "That did it." I'm going to start telling shitty people that he knew exactly what he was doing and is damn good at it too.
Hah! Mine did the same thing this time! He was so proud of himself.
MIL poking my belly and saying "are we showing yet??" Um, no. That's still just a food baby. Love her to death, but this could be a very long pregnancy
When my DD was 2 months old, my mom offered to watch her for an afternoon. I accepted and left very specific directions which she promptly threw out the window. I come back and we start bickering over something she did or didn't do, she responds "well she is my daughter, I'll do what I want." WHAT!? She quickly corrected herself, said "granddaughter" then denied ever having said "daughter" to begin with.
When I old my now former boss that I was pregnant with DS he reached into his desk drawer and took out his checkbook and a pen, leans forward and says stone faced "alright, how much is this going to cost me for you to...take care of it" my jaw dropped open and with nervous laughter I said "um, excuse me?" He responds "I guess you're adiment on keeping it then. Alright well congratulations I guess."
A couple responses when I announced this pregnancy: "On purpose?"-coworker "This was planned?" -coworker "Uh, is that a good thing? I'm not sure if I should be congratulating you or not." -boss
Re: Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says
Also, everyone is different. Just because some miraculously don't feel anything doesn't mean I'm superwoman too
Me: OMG. Do you need help with anything?? Do you want me to drive you?
Mom: I want to be able to SEE THAT BABY!
"oh, are you becoming catholic now?" Referencing no birth control... this baby was 100% planned. And only our third *eye roll*
and I have NOTHING against Catholics. But, we are not. This made me SO mad! I should have expected some stupid comment though
ETA tags
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface yes exactly! It's so odd to me after I really thought about it, like, uh you realize your asking us about our sex life? How is that ok?! Lol! Does make for good convo here though like you said!
Congratulations on your third boy!
im one of 9 and while my mom never said it she told me she always wanted to reply "we sure do know what causes it and we thoroughly enjoy it."
@meatball37 That would drive me insane! It's so degrading to working moms to hear stuff like that. I work full-time and spend plenty of quality time with my son. We were fortunate enough to have my husband stay at home with DS after he was born for two years, but both of us always felt like we were both being judged for this arrangement for various reasons.
On a related topic, my husband always complained that he was left out on the playground and other places because he was the only dad there. And several times he was made to feel like a predator with women giving him stink-eye or one memorable time in the Chick-fil-A play area where there was only one woman in there with her kid he came in with DS and she went and got her husband so she wouldn't be alone in the room with him.
#2 due 2.15.18
We already got a less than excited reaction to our pregnancy announcement from MIL (still don't really know why - but she did apologize). So I could definitely see a similar reaction if it's another girl.
And I am super excited for the "so when will you try again?" comments. *eye roll*
How about don't comment on my body? K? Thanks.
"Yes and my husband is REALLY good at it"
Shuts people down immediately.... like in one Instant....
When my DD was 2 months old, my mom offered to watch her for an afternoon. I accepted and left very specific directions which she promptly threw out the window. I come back and we start bickering over something she did or didn't do, she responds "well she is my daughter, I'll do what I want." WHAT!? She quickly corrected herself, said "granddaughter" then denied ever having said "daughter" to begin with.
When I old my now former boss that I was pregnant with DS he reached into his desk drawer and took out his checkbook and a pen, leans forward and says stone faced "alright, how much is this going to cost me for you to...take care of it" my jaw dropped open and with nervous laughter I said "um, excuse me?" He responds "I guess you're adiment on keeping it then. Alright well congratulations I guess."
A couple responses when I announced this pregnancy:
"On purpose?"-coworker
"This was planned?" -coworker
"Uh, is that a good thing? I'm not sure if I should be congratulating you or not." -boss