@maureenbioni I get this. I was this way after losses one and two and I think after loss three I've just become numb. I figure at this point there's nothing I can do.. I probably shouldn't think that way, but the last 3 times I couldn't stop it. Today I am pregnant. I hope to stay pregnant. Thoughts your way!!
One year ago today I got my BFP with what ended up to be my MMC. I HATE these milestones. I'm sitting here crying because I can't stand the thought of losing a third baby and I'm so scared that it's going to happen all over again. I can't believe we've been on this journey for over a year.
Sorry. Total pity post. I'm just having an emotional day.
@hdaley Brown spotting usually means old blood, but it isn't any less unsettling. Hoping it is nothing.
@justkeeptrying Those dates are so difficult. Do something nice for yourself.
Hugs for everybody!
I'm 6 weeks today. My loss milestone is coming up. I just don't feel pregnant - no MS - which has me worried. I'm terrified (and hopeful) for my scan next week. And I'm worried and stressed about DD's seizure disorder which I know isn't good for the baby and am worried that something will happen because of the stress.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@justkeeptrying So many hugs!!! Not fun anniversaries. For whatever reason my Timehop today included a photo from my phone photo album which was baby from my first MMC, when we had seen it's little heart beating for the first and last time. I felt sick when it popped up. 14 days to the day we found out. It's a tough month for me and every little twinge/feeling of discharge I turn into a panicky hot mess.
@becausescience, the symptoms thing is sooo hard. With both my miscarriages I was throwing up starting at 4.5 weeks. Clearly it didn't mean a healthy baby Symptom spotting never ends after that 2 week wait. Ugh. I'm so sorry.
@chasingroygbiv, huge hugs to you! I was also reminded of my milestone because of my Facebook Timehop. I almost think I might have had an "ignorance is bliss" about this date if Facebook hadn't reminded me with a picture I took that day.
Hugs to all of us. Wish we could have an in real life group hug!
Sending a big hug to all!! I woke up super early freaking out about my viability scan today...I mean, freaking out! I was checking my boobs, worried about whether I feel exhausted enough, hoping my nausea would come this morning...trying to calm my spirit with music all morning.
I REBUKE YOU TODAY, PGAL BRAIN!!!!!
Me: 39 DP: 49
TTC since Jan 2017 BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18 BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
@ishmoney Good luck lady on your scan!!! Hope it is early on in the day so you don't have to wait too much more. The waiting is brutal!
@maureenbioni Good luck. Sorry for all emotions. PGAL brain is a downer. I try to remind myself that in the end hopefully everything will be worth it. Deep breaths, you can do this.
My appointment is in 45 min. We are leaving in 15. Time is dragging. I went to the gym this morning and watched a movie on my phone while on the elliptical and actually forgot for about 45 min which was bliss. We are both really quiet this morning. Does anyone ever go to these appointments full of joy? I wish I could. I'm just so afraid that in an hour I'll be crying. Ugh.
@maureenbioni try and keep yourself distracted until the appointment. I hate the build up to the first ultrasound. Praying that you have a great appointment today.
@becausescience, I am also wishing that I had MS or stronger symptoms for the peace of mind. I am appreciating the reminders on this thread and others not to read too much into symptoms or lack thereof. And I hear you on the terrified and hopeful for that first appointment...
@hdaley, I am thinking of you. I forget if you ended up moving up your appointment to 7 weeks? If not, I hope your OB fits you in today for an ultrasound so you can stop worrying and hopefully get some good news. As others have said, spotting is pretty common. I know often it seems harder to have hope when it might be crushed, but I am hopeful for you.
We heard a heartbeat! I sobbed so hard she almost dropped the stick! I'm measuring 8 weeks 4 days which makes sense because I wasn't sure when my period was. We are so numb because we really did expect the worst. I hope my rainbow baby is nice and sticky and hangs in there!
First appointment went really well. The ultrasound machine was down so I have an appointment to go back for an ultrasound tomorrow. I'm super excited actually. And everything should be set up to do my NIPT ((MaternTi)) in the next week or so. This was my first time with this OB and I really do like him. He's the number 1 OB in my city so I'm pretty excited that he had room for me as a patient.
Congrats @maureenbioni !!! @chasingroygbiv my follow up is tomorrow too, 2pm est. I'm glad it was only booked yesterday but I'm really getting nervous now.
Well, the good US high lasted approximately six days. Breast tenderness is pretty much down to maybe a bit lower than typical PMS levels. Logically I know "Symptoms come and go, it's totally normal. The presence or lack of symptoms is no indicator of outcome." But it's pretty much impossible to take to heart right now. First US with OB isn't until Thursday. Normally, I would just call the RE's office and ask if they could get me in this week but H just went on a trip and won't be home until Friday, probably too late to get in, especially considering traffic. I'm thinking about going without him but I know he doesn't want to miss any of them and if it's bad, I certainly don't want to be alone. Usually I'm fine but sometimes I really hate his job.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@ishmoney I've always had pretty mild symptoms. I'm still not really hungry and the thought of BBQ anything makes me want to barf but breast tenderness has been my strongest symptom and now it's close to gone. No cramping, no bleeding. But that's the terrible thing about having had a MMC. You go along feeling like everything is fine until they do an US.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@kiki75, just try to keep remembering that symptoms really mean nothing. And you could just be moving towards a point in your pregnancy where breast tenderness isn't as prominent. Take that from the mama who was throwing up 4x a day up until my appointment where I found out I'd had a MMC. I hate when people say nausea is a good thing, and that lack of symptoms mean a loss. It stings more than anything. Please continue to have faith my friend. I know how hard this is. Just continue to breathe. And focus on the positives.
@ishmoney, congratulations on a great appointment!
Aww @kiki75. First of all, hugs. Secondly I have had next to no nausea today and am also trying to not freak out because that was my first sign something was wrong with my NMC. If you need the ultrasound, I say go for it. Do you have a friend who can go with you? I went with a friend when her DH was gone for work and offered her moral support because she didn't want to go alone. Hugs. I hope this week goes by quickly, no matter what you decide and that if it makes you feel better, your boobs keep growing and hurting. My boob pain has cycled a few times when the growing slows down a little.
Well, the good US high lasted approximately six days. Breast tenderness is pretty much down to maybe a bit lower than typical PMS levels. Logically I know "Symptoms come and go, it's totally normal. The presence or lack of symptoms is no indicator of outcome." But it's pretty much impossible to take to heart right now. First US with OB isn't until Thursday. Normally, I would just call the RE's office and ask if they could get me in this week but H just went on a trip and won't be home until Friday, probably too late to get in, especially considering traffic. I'm thinking about going without him but I know he doesn't want to miss any of them and if it's bad, I certainly don't want to be alone. Usually I'm fine but sometimes I really hate his job.
Hugs @kiki75. Try to keep yourself busy and distracted and remind yourself that symptoms have no bearing on the health of your baby.
I've been doing so well the past 2 weeks after my last ultrasound. But now sitting and waiting for the doctor to come in for today's ultrasound, I am shaking and talking myself down from thinking something is wrong. I hate PGAL brain so much. I can't wait to hold this baby and finally breathe again.
@kiki75, I'm sorry you're stressing at the moment. I hope you can get in and get some peace of mind sooner than next Thursday.
@hullabalou, I hope by now you've had your ultrasound and gotten past the pre-appointment panic to some relief!
Thinking of those of you with approaching appointments - I'm right there with you feeling anxious for mine on Friday morning. I'm so thankful to be pregnant, but some days being PGAL feels like a special kind of torture.
Thank you all. Everything went great. We saw the baby on the handheld ultrasound and it actually looks like a baby now, even saw it wave a little arm around. The OB saw how anxious I was and talked to me about it, explained to me that everything looks perfect and I need to try to let myself enjoy this pregnancy. Here's our little bean at 10 weeks- sorry if the picture is huge.
@kiki75 you helped me through a rough day. Just know the day I had my ultrasound (today) I legit didn't feel pregnant. My boobs feel normal. I'm not really nauseous. I walked in convinced it was over. If you're around where I am, we probably are just adjusting to our hormones well. And I bet we will feel like crap tomorrow!! MY doctor said stop obsessing over symptoms. I said easy for you to say! I know nothing takes away the anxiety but I was literally in your shoes 10 hours ago so trust me I know it's crippling. Don't lose hope! ❤️
@kiki75 Big hugs lady. PGAL brain is super tough. I know you know that symptoms coming and going/lack of full of symptoms means nothing. PGAL brain is just irrational. Hope you get some relief soon. Take a deep breath and repeat any affirmations you have. I find that the affirmations help me.
***TW*** Me: 36 DH:35 Married: 7/10/2016 TTC#1 - May 2016 BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016 BFP 5/5/2017 - CP IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161 Adam Born on 3/18/18
Aww @kiki75, all the support you give everyone else is coming right back atcha! My boobs are cycling and it scares the eff outta me, for real. Like panic attack. Take all these virtual hugs OOOO, go watch ratchet tv, get on a phone call, hug a furry friend...get a early scan...we are here...
Me: 39 DP: 49
TTC since Jan 2017 BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18 BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
@kiki75 Don't go by symptoms. I had pregnancy symptoms up until about a week POST D&C after my MMC. I felt pretty darn good with my son! I know it's hard, but keep your head up!
Re: PGAL Check In (07-26 week)
Though my situation is still dicey, I got news that made it somewhat more hopeful today, so I will channel that positive energy to you, @hdaley, @JournoGrl23, and all the others who may be playing a waiting game or just giving their advice and support.
DS 6/3/2016
MC 1/12/2017
BFP 7/19/2017
EDD 3/31/2018
Sorry. Total pity post. I'm just having an emotional day.
@justkeeptrying Those dates are so difficult. Do something nice for yourself.
Hugs for everybody!
I'm 6 weeks today. My loss milestone is coming up. I just don't feel pregnant - no MS - which has me worried. I'm terrified (and hopeful) for my scan next week. And I'm worried and stressed about DD's seizure disorder which I know isn't good for the baby and am worried that something will happen because of the stress.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@chasingroygbiv, huge hugs to you! I was also reminded of my milestone because of my Facebook Timehop. I almost think I might have had an "ignorance is bliss" about this date if Facebook hadn't reminded me with a picture I took that day.
Hugs to all of us. Wish we could have an in real life group hug!
I REBUKE YOU TODAY, PGAL BRAIN!!!!!
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
@maureenbioni Good luck. Sorry for all emotions. PGAL brain is a downer. I try to remind myself that in the end hopefully everything will be worth it. Deep breaths, you can do this.
@kiki75 Everything you said!
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
@hdaley I hope the spotting means nothing, it can be so common/normal in first tri. FX everything is great.
@ishmoney I hope you have a great update after your viability scan!!
@maureenbioni and @ishmoney, I hope your appointments today go well!
@justkeeptrying, @chasingroygbiv and @becausescience, I'm sorry you're hitting painful loss milestones. The reminders of loss and what could have been are so hard.
@becausescience, I am also wishing that I had MS or stronger symptoms for the peace of mind. I am appreciating the reminders on this thread and others not to read too much into symptoms or lack thereof. And I hear you on the terrified and hopeful for that first appointment...
@hdaley, I am thinking of you. I forget if you ended up moving up your appointment to 7 weeks? If not, I hope your OB fits you in today for an ultrasound so you can stop worrying and hopefully get some good news. As others have said, spotting is pretty common. I know often it seems harder to have hope when it might be crushed, but I am hopeful for you.
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
Congratulations @maureenbioni.
@chasingroygbiv my follow up is tomorrow too, 2pm est. I'm glad it was only booked yesterday but I'm really getting nervous now.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
I'm excited and EXHAUSTED!!
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@ishmoney, congratulations on a great appointment!
my OB got me in today for an ultrasound due to the slight spotting. We heard a heartbeat!!!!! 144bpm! Measuring 3 days ahead. 7w2d
Baby #1: BFP on 10/12/2011, EDD 6/24/2012 Born: 6/16/2012 Boy!
Baby #2: BFP on 11/11/2016, EDD 7/25/2017 - MC 1/2/2017
@hdaley, yay!! Congrats!
@kiki75, I'm sorry you're stressing at the moment. I hope you can get in and get some peace of mind sooner than next Thursday.
@hullabalou, I hope by now you've had your ultrasound and gotten past the pre-appointment panic to some relief!
Thinking of those of you with approaching appointments - I'm right there with you feeling anxious for mine on Friday morning. I'm so thankful to be pregnant, but some days being PGAL feels like a special kind of torture.
@hullabalou I hope everything went well. Any update?
@kiki75 hugs
I know nothing takes away the anxiety but I was literally in your shoes 10 hours ago so trust me I know it's crippling. Don't lose hope! ❤️
@kiki75 Big hugs lady. PGAL brain is super tough. I know you know that symptoms coming and going/lack of full of symptoms means nothing. PGAL brain is just irrational. Hope you get some relief soon. Take a deep breath and repeat any affirmations you have. I find that the affirmations help me.
Me: 36 DH:35
Married: 7/10/2016
TTC#1 - May 2016
BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016
BFP 5/5/2017 - CP
IVF #1 - June 2017 - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo. 7/9 Beta #1 - 161
BFP #2 7/11/17 | EDD 3/24/18
BFP #1 5/2/17 | EDD 1/12/18 | MC 5/18/17
I'm so glad that there were so many great appointments here today!
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18