@safire3 I'm not going to say this process isn't hard but you'll figure it out as you go. Fortunately not everything hits at the same time. Message me with any questions, I'm happy to share more of my experience
@shortstack1030 fingers crossed for you! I hope this is the IUI!
Sorry for those that I missed, I really appreciate the support.
I'm new to this forum, am lost & trying to find my path in this journey and have an appointment when my OBGYN/Fertility Specialist tomorrow. This is probably the 8th appointment this year I've had with him.. but I'm so lost at this point that I'm scared to go and see what he has to say.
Diagnosis (If you've been): low sperm count with poor motility, unexplained anovulation and missing a left fallopian tube due to a fallopian tubal torsion that was misdiagnosed
Cycle/CD: CD 7
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) last month we did round 1 of IUI w/Clomid, BFN.. this month, even if I ovulate it will be on the wrong ovary (the one missing a tube), and DH just got a slew of bad news about his SA and low-T, so we have an apt with our fertility doctor tomorrow am.
How are things going? One trainwreck after another...
1st I did not know why I never ovulate, doctors chalk it up to my weight (BMI 40), but I've never had a regular cycle my entire life and for the majority of it, I was a healthy weight. Had a hysteroscopy and D&C to try to diagnose any issues in July 2015. Remained undiagnosed, used Provera to regulate my periods.
Then, *2 MONTHS* before my wedding, to the man I had been dating for 9 years and living with for 5-6 and was planning on starting TTC a month before the wedding with, I was misdiagnosed and a torsed fallopian tube turned necrotic and had to be removed because my ER doctor discharged me without removing a 3.5" cyst from the fallopian tube and it died as I waited 6 days for a scheduled surgery (can you tell I'm bitter? hah).
We start TTC, SA comes back with Sperm count of 9 million, low motility. Dr. decides to Rx Letrezole and tests DH's testosterone. It comes back extremely low, DH is referred to Urologist. Urologist recommends losing weight, getting better sleep and wearing boxers. He says Testosterone supplements will improve his quality of life and ability to do all of the above, but will diminish his sperm count further.
While that was happening, we got the BFN after IUI/Clomid round 1. DH now wants me to wait 4 months for his "sperm to reset" and thinks he is going to do this on his own. I am feeling utterly defeated. I don't think his losing weight is going to change his sperm count ENOUGH to matter, fertility-wise. I want him to get healthier, OF COURSE, but I'm terrified we're wasting time for the results to be the same 4 months from now as they are now.
We are seeing the doctor tomorrow. I'm terrified that he will suggest IVF and I'm terrified that he won't. I don't even know WHAT to think. I am really been crazy lately. I got off of my anti-depressant to try to have a "natural" drug-free pregnant and birth. But this TTC journey has made me depression RAGE, and I think I need back on to something. I feel like I've failed myself, I've failed this baby that has yet to exist and I don't deserve to be a mom. I've also been so bitter about DH sperm count, and I feel TERRIBLE about it.
Any questions? Any advice on how to stay sane? Has ANYONE dealt with both male infertility and any of the issues I have as well, and what did the doctor suggest? Continue IUI... stop until you are at a healthier BMI... IVF... or just stop altogether?
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? Lane Bryant or Torrid. Before I started gaining a of weight and battling depression, it was Victoria's Secret..
If anyone has read this, bless you, bless your heart and soul. I am an anxious wreck ATM.
I'm new here, but something that you said really struck a chord with me. This weekend, I've realized how unhappy I have been as well. After every hurdle, I used to think, "OK, we will overcome this," and then something happens to make me feel like I will NEVER overcome the IF struggle. I realized that once it the point where it's easier to see how I can fail, rather than overcome, I may need to take a step back. We're considering taking a 3-4 month break ourselves, and also have a Dr.'s apt scheduled that we'll see through. I wish you good luck with the meeting, I know I personally always feel better if I have a "game plan." So, if you're anything like me, I hope you develop a game plan that makes you feel okay with taking a little break & jumping back in later to overcome those hurdles. Easier said than done, I know, but I wish you the best.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@anniemarie1289 Welcome and I'm sorry you find yourself here. There are many ladies on here with different diagnoses and several with male factor IF so you are definitely not alone. We can all relate to feelings of anger, bitterness, rage and wondering wtf we've ever done to deserve the world of IF so you're not alone there either. I'm glad you're seeking treatment and it seems like you already have a plan in place. I'm sorry your first IUI was not successful. My first IUI last month was also unsuccessful. I'm in the TWW of my second IUI now. Does your RE think another try or two at IUI is worth it before IVF?
I think your second message is missing a tag for the person you are replying to. To tag, type the @ and then the screen name of who you want to tag.
@KristoKekerooni Well hopefully a progesterone supplement will help?
@KristoKekerooni I'm so sorry about the progesterone results. I sometimes feel like what's point in doing all this isht to get pregnant if I can't get my progesterone high enough to stay pregnant. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
@anniemarie1289, welcome, though I'm sorry you find yourself here. It doesn't look like you've introed in the newbie thread yet, so when you're ready, I'd suggest doing that.
As to your post here, this is a rough, rough road, and any bit of support helps. The ladies in this thread are a wonderful source of knowledge, experience, guidance, and good vibes, so you're in good company here.
As we were talking about earlier today, up there, we all have high and low points month to month/ week to week/ hour to hour/ minute to minute. Those feelings are totally normal, but I'm sorry that you have to experience them. I'm sending you all of the good vibes for your appointment tomorrow, and I think that, regardless of what your doctor says (IVF or no), the information and direction will help give you some peace of mind.
Can I ask? You said that you're seeing your OBGYN/fertility specialist, have you been seeing an RE (reproductive endocrinologist)? At the end of the day, an OB is an OB, not an RE (though some REs are also OBs). They specialize in different things and have very different jobs. I would highly recommend that you look into seeing an RE if you haven't already. It sounds like you have an extensive history that would certainly warrant an RE's expertise. How long have you two been TTC?
We currently deal with both MFI (OAT - meaning all 3 of H's primary SA numbers are low), and an ovulatory dysfunction on my end that has yet to be fully explored (RE's theory is that it's potentially endometriosis related, though I have not had a diagnostic lap, so that theory is unconfirmed). Obviously every situation is different, so what my RE suggests may not be what your Dr suggests. When we first found out about H's situation, we were sort of shell-shocked. I had long standing known issues, so I just assumed that it was all me. My OB had ordered the SA, and immediately sent us to an RE. She refused to even look at anymore tests saying that H's numbers were beyond her area of expertise and she couldn't help us. At our first consult with our RE, she referred us to a RU (reproductive urologist) and flat out said that IVF with ICSI was our only real option at that point.
I would highly suggest that your H see a RU, not just a regular urologist. RUs specialize in fixing andrology issues while preserving fertility. As you noted, low T treatments almost always destroy sperm numbers, so it's important to be working with someone who can help you in both areas.
Through a combination of lifestyle changes and vitamins (and probably kismet), H's numbers have gone up enough that IUI is back on the table for us. Because of H's issues, we've largely ignored mine for the moment (The RE's prevailing theory being that, if we have to do IUI/IVF anyway for H, my issues will be addressed then). We don't know what we're going to do, what path we're going to take, or how we'll feel about any of it yet.
As far as staying sane? - All I can say there is that, there are times when you will absolutely not feel sane. I have been there so many times over the last 2+ years that I cannot even count. You are certainly not alone there, we all go through it, this journey sucks. Try to be kind to yourself. Meditation and calming thoughts are said to help. I suggest reading the book Conquering Infertility if you haven't already, it's great for helping you figure out how to get to better place mentally.
I think I'll end this novel here but, again, welcome, and feel free to PM me if you have any more specific questions.
@beachbunnyxo123 which clinic are you going to continue going to?
@AlohaKumu I'm glad it went so well today! And ugh, the full bladder. I'm like a camel and don't have to go often but when I do, I have to go right then!
@JuneRoseRuby I'm glad your hysteroscopy went well yesterday @lulu1180 *Hugs* I hope the break helps. We'll miss you though @zwink1 GL with the RU appointment @safire3 I'm sorry you don't have anyone IRL other than YH for support. *Hugs* We're all here for you @laurad75 Sorry AF is being a B @AlohaKumu I hope everything is okay with your leg @TravelingCouple Safe travels! @beachbunnyxo123 Thankfully I've already met my deductible for the year, and I only have to pay 10% after I meet it so money isn't so much the issue. I got most of the results back (I'll post after work), but it's hard to compare since they're from CD 20. I'm glad that you seem more comfortable with the new clinic. I know it's overwhelming, but I'm sure you and YH will come to the best decision for you guys.
@TravelingCouple - So the acupuncturist gave me progesterone in drop form? I've never seen it before, but I researched it and it seems legit... sorta. It's not "true" progesterone in that it's not progesterone at all-it just signals the body to make more progesterone. Apparently this is gentler and won't delay the period as long as regular supplements, but it also might not raise it as much as we need. We are re-checking next week to see the levels. If it's not enough, next month+ will be suppositories. WHICH I AM VERY AGAINST. Don't we already do enough? I get to "relax" in the 2ww. I'm not a symptom spotter. I don't serial test. It's MY time. So for me to have to do this pisses me off.
@KariAnn323 Thanks, It does totally suck. You know, we are kinda on both sides- can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant, but at least the whole time it's only been a one-sided issue, our MFI. But now I feel like we have two "counts" against us on the latter part (staying pregnant). So now we don't only have to deal with miscarriage rates from the sperm DNA fragmentation, but we also have to deal with progesterone issues? I just can't.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@Redpuma119 - It's interesting. I'm remaining skeptical for now. It is USP, which is comforting. I think theoretically it could work on people with "ish" low levels, but with mine so low... I dunno.
Edit to add: it's called Progest-Avail
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
@KristoKekerooni I'm not finding much. Is it newer? It's interesting though because my RE won't prescribe progesterone shots, but this seems different. (I haven't decided if it's him or his nurse who is the idiot.)
@Redpuma119 - I'm not really sure... I found it on Amazon but I didn't find much in the form of research or anything... just enough to tell me it's at least USP.
TTC #1 since September 2014 Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI
(count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low
progesterone Check out my Infertility blog Check out my Infertility Instagram
Loss History (TW):
BFP: 3 May 2015, loss confirmed 4 June 2015 BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015 BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015 BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018 BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
TTC History (TW):
3 losses in 2015 Met with OBGYN in January 2016 Me: all clear, H: OAT November 2016: HSG = All
Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt
#1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17 December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC) Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA) FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018 May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus" FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo. BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019 Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two! Lost Baby A 02 July 2018 Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018 Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
Next Up:
TTC Naturally, possibly IUIs for remainder of 2018. ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Redpuma119 Hopefully the try on your own cycles work out! Fingers
crossed for you. Ain’t nobody wanna pay for IVF if they don’t have to.
AlohaKumu Do you wear compression socks on flights? My
sister had to start doing that and it helps her immensely.
shortstack930
I had my tonsillectomy like 5 years ago and she came to help me out, so it was
only fair. Plus, I took care of her, but got to spend the week coloring and
watching movies, etc. J
And it is an AWFUL recovery. You can’t eat like anything for a few weeks and so
even when you feel better you’re hangry all the time.
purplg8r
My sister’s doing well, thanks. She was doing very poorly until last Thursday.
She was doing ok after that and got a good follow-up review from Doctor just a
few min ago. So, that’s great! Sorry for poor timing this month. Sucks when
that happens since it seems like HIO is about the only thing we can actually
control in this situation. Try not to beat yourself up over it.
adirat YAY for officially being signed up for IVF! Good
luck trying not to freak out too much before late Sept!
@beachbunnyxo123 Sorry for conflicting info from REs. It’s
hard to make a decision on what to do when the specialists don’t agree. DH and
I were both karotyped to make sure the dna didn’t have an issue. But only I had
the Counsyl test. It’s because the female can be a Fragile X carrier, but if MY
tests came back OK then DH wouldn’t need to be tested. If my tests had showed
anything for any of the diseases, then DH would’ve had to be tested to see if
he was a carrier. Ugh… does that make sense at all?
anniemarie1289
Sorry you’ve had such a rough road TTC. I have a lot of anger/depression/rage
issues after 4 MCs and deciding to see a therapist was the best decision I’ve
made. Also, I take a low dose of anti-depressants to help me out as well. I
know that it sucks to wait and be benched while TTC, but sometimes it’s for the
best. I’m currently benched until I can lose 21 lbs. (I’m down 8 as of this
morning). And while it feels like useless time and I just want to try again, I
also want to be the healthiest I can for PG and hopefully a future baby. So
taking some time off while YH and you make some lifestyle changes, could be
good for you mentally as well, if you view it more of a break/vacation to do
things you wouldn’t normally do while TTC.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
introduced myself yesterday on the newbie thread, but this one seems like the right place given where I'm at.
A bit of background: TW, mentions loss. DH and I started TTC last June. I've always been highly irregular (45-60 CDs, occasionally skipping several months at a time), but my MDs always told me that was fine, and not to worry about it. I've always been quite thin (runs in the family), and I think they attributed it to my weight, not acknowledging that there might be an underlying issue, despite my recurring experience of severe, sharp pain in my left abdomen.. Stopped BC 6/1/16, WFAF for 3 months (MD said they wouldn't jumpstart for 90 days). Then, a surprise BFP in early September! Followed, heartbreakingly, by a MC a month later at 8 weeks. Since then I've only had three cycles. Started working with a RE in June. HSG looked good on my right side, but showed a very narrow path and no spill in my left tube. RE wants to wait & try a few cycles of letrozole before doing a laparoscopy.
Diagnosis (If you've been): oligomenorrhea.. RE thinks possible PCOS and probable endometriosis.
Cycle/CD: 5/26
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) A bit of both. HSG and US earlier this cycle, 2.5 letrozole CD 4-8.
How are things going? On my first cycle of letrozole. OV ~CD 19-21, and progesterone was 18.5 on CD 25. DH results came back 2 weeks ago with flying colors, and while I'm thrilled, he keeps boasting about how strong and plentiful his guys are.. Which just makes me feel broken. I've let him know that, and at the time he gets it, but like a big dumb happy puppy, the next time he remembers his results, he gets excited and braggy again. I deal with things I have no control (or limited control) over by learning everything I can, and obsessively preparing for every possible outcome. DH is also information driven, but is comforted more by optimism than preparedness. So he likes to say things like, 'I feel great about this cycle! I definitely think you're pregnant!' Meanwhile I'm reading embryology textbooks and SS like a fiend, but trying not to let myself hope until I get a BFP.
Any questions? So, my left tube is mostly blocked, but I also almost always OV on my left side. RE says that eggs from one side can travel through the opposite tube.. But I don't have a good sense of whether that's like, a miracle of science/journal article can, or an off-menu burger topping can. Do any of you have any experienced with this, or know someone who has?
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? JCrew, Kate Spade.
AlohaKumu Do you wear compression socks on flights? My
sister had to start doing that and it helps her immensely.
@dpjennifer I wear compression socks almost continuously throughout the day, every day, but especially on flights. @lizeybee I'm sorry you find yourself here, but this is a fantastic group of women. I just listened to a podcast on Beat Infertility where they ("they" meaning actual medical doctors) talked about women who did get pregnant when eggs go from one tube to the other side, even though a tube was damaged or completely missing. Obviously it decreases the odds a bit, but it's certainly not impossible.
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
@lizeybee *TW* I don't have any scientific info but when I was going through my ectopic and scared of losing a tube, I googled a ton and found tons of cases where the women had had a tube removed due to it bursting and were still able to get pregnant. *end TW*
Thank you so much ladies for all the support! I really appreciate it since not many people know what we are going through IRL.
@JuneRoseRuby I'm glad the hysteroscopy went well. Hope you guys get everything done and you can start soon. @beachbunnyxo123 I'm also a bit confused about the genetic testing. My RE recommended PGS for us but also the genetic testing for me and DH. I don't see why we really need both. I do understand that there are some things that the PGS testing can pick up even with normal genetic testing (like spontaneous mutations) but the incidence of these is low. So far I declined my genetic testing (I had a panel done some time ago with my23 so I gave them a copy of that) and I let DH do the genetic testing. If his comes back normal we May decline the PGS testing (which apparently will cost up to $6000). @anniemarie1289 Sorry that you find yourself here but you are in good company. @zwink1 already gave you some awesome info. I am also dealing with MFI and we are starting IVF. It can be very hard for some men to come to terms with the fact that they are sub-fertile. Your H may be in a bit of denial and feel like he can fix it all himself. After your appointment today maybe you should sit with him and explain exactly how you feel. You can't do this without him so you guys need to be on the same page. I hope you get some useful answers today and you guys can make a plan that works for you both. @lizeybee welcome and sorry you find yourself here. I have seen it mentioned before that an egg can travel through the opposite tube but I don't think that it is a common occurrence. I hope the medicated cycle works for you and your stay here is short.
AFM we met with the nurse today to go over the protocol and for the general IVF orientation. Basically I start BCP today for about 3 weeks then to back for another u/s and estrogen level. If everything is ok then I start Menopur and Gonal F. Then hopefully retrieval 10-12 days after starting stims. I am equally excited and terrified. We still have lots of things to decide. Apparently if we decide not do the PGS testing then it will be up to us to do a fresh vs frozen transfer. They said frozen has a slightly higher success rate. Did any of you have to choose and if so how did you decide?
@beachbunnyxo123@safire3 I can provide some info on genetic testing and PGS. PGS does NOT test for genetic diseases. PGS checks whether embryos have the appropriate number of chromosomes, and some versions of PGS can check for things like translocations. You may already be aware that chromosome problems are very common in both eggs and sperm. The vast majority of chromosome problems (triploidy, monosomy, etc.) will end in an early miscarriage. You may be familiar with Down Syndrome which is trisomy on the 21st chromosome (they have 3 rather than 2 copies of chromosome 21). Trisomy on any other chromosome will produce a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. PGS checks to see if this has occurred -- because in meiosis, incorrect number of chromosomes is a common occurrence. The idea is that you would then transfer only "normal" embryos to increase your rate of a successful live birth.
The genetic testing on you and your partner is to check for genetic disorders that you may carry. These are mostly recessive single-gene conditions that will not have an impact on your child unless both you and your partner are carriers. (They also test for a few X- and Y-linked disorders that can be passed to a child.) You may be familiar with diseases that are prominent in the cultural consciousness like Tay-Sachs or cystic fibrosis. PGS does not check for these diseases. It simply can't. But if you are tested, you will know if there's any risk of you and your partner being carriers for a condition that could be passed on. Some of these conditions, while recessive, do have an impact on fertility so it isn't unusual to have this testing done at the RE's. Ours did testing on us immediately in our first appointment (and obviously I am very grateful he did since I turned out to carry an x-linked disorder that no one in my family had ever presented with).
If you do have a condition, you can do PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis) to check embryos for this condition. But this is more involved and requires a specialized test for your condition -- it's different from PGS which just looks at the chromosomes and is the same test for everyone.
Both genetic carrier testing and PGS are very personal decisions and I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. But for me, I can tell you that I am extremely grateful I had this testing done because it allowed us to make a much more educated decision about our babies and my fertility (since my condition does impact fertility).
I have done a ton a done of research on this so let me know if you have more questions!
@leekat14 I'm so sorry that your FET didn't work, but I'm glad to see you posting again this week. I've been thinking of you. I can imagine how upsetting it is to get a BFN with IVF. I don't have any advice on any of the new things the RE is recommending, but I am wishing you all the bet and hope that 2 transfers may do the trick. When is your next FET?
@lulu1180 Sorry you're at the "breaking" point. I am right there with you, resetting myself now. I hope this is your cycle, but if not, I hope this break is what you need to get back in a good mindset and lose some weight.
@RedPuma119 Soy and carbs are not recommended in any of the PCOS diets I've seen. Most PCOS diets I see are somewhat paleo. And my RE definitely advocates for eating avocados and nuts and other foods with good fats in them. I try to eat low carb, no added sugar, no dairy, no soy - and that seems to do well for me (when I'm successful in keeping with the diet).
@AlohaKumu Glad the sono looked good! (And that you were able to make it to the bathroom in time after!)
@anniemarie1289 Sorry you find yourself here. Some great advice has already been given, but I wanted to tack on my support. MH had slightly low motility at the first SA, but it improved with lifestyle changes (healthier diet, no caffeine, quitting smoking). I also have what my RE calls "a gnarly case of PCOS" so I remember the day I got his SA results coupled with my PCOS, and I flipped out. I sat in my car and cried. Hard. IF has made me rage a lot. Exercise, yoga, eating well, and talking with other IF-ers helps. I hope you can find some similar outlets that help you. It's also difficult when H is not quite on the same page as to how aggressive to get with treatment and how quickly. From my experience on these boards, it's often that the women want to move more quickly, and the men drag their feet or are in denial.
Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS
Cycle/CD: month 19/an-O
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TTA
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) treatment break
How are things going? Still trying to get back into a good frame of mind... Things have been complicated and messy and tiring lately. Starting a few days ago, I've been doing a little yoga every day, so I'm hoping that will help.
Any questions? no
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? Nothing lately. I've been having a hard time finding stores with clothes that fit right.
Well I tried posting yesterday morning when things were quiet and I could respond but the bump failed me and this thread blew up and I'm on mobile and it's damn near impossible to get you all. I'm LTing all that I can. Hugs to all of you incredible ladies!
Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI, low count
Cycle/CD: I think cycle 15 at this point. CD 11
Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) IUI this cycle!! Hopefully by the end of this week!! Going in for bloodwork and an ultrasound tomorrow morning to see where we're at. Hopefully I'll get the OK to trigger in the next few days!
How are things going? Ok for now. I'm hopeful and excited but I don't want to get my hopes too high so I'm nervous
Any questions? i don't think so!
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? Ill be shopping online at some of the places you guys have mentioned. I'm boring-I do target or kohls. I gave stitch fix a shot and the first two boxes were on point. But then they've been assigning me different stylists and they're getting further and further away from my style by the box. I'm not sure I want to risk it and give them one last shot or not.
@adirat thank you so much that makes so much more sense! I knew the PGS tests or chromosomal anomalies like trisomy 21 but I though it also tested for inheritable genetic conditions. Now I get it! You would think the RE or IVF nurse would be able to explain it like that but nope. Thanks a million!
So I got most of my test results back. I'm still waiting for the DHEA-S test results back. Test was done CD 20. O was CD 21. Any thoughts on the results are appreciated.
@safire3 @beachbunnyxo123 Our clinic ONLY does FET, but we did have the option to do PGS or not. We eventually want to have as many kids as possible / transfer all. So our doctor recommended PGS so we don't have to waste precious time and resources (not to mention heartache) transferring non-viable embryos. :/
@50wife I hope this IUI is the one! @madspunk Thanks for backing me up on the PCOS diet. And I'm glad you're getting into the right head space!
AFM I heard back from the nurse about my concerns with the diet. She quoted my "concern about a diet that is 90% carbs" and responded with a chart of a sample diet and that they would never suggest that kind of diet. So I entered the sample day food into a calorie counter and sent her a screen shot of the results. 82% carbs. Hmmmm.. I also pointed out that the new diet recommended soy, to which she responded that it's okay because I'm on Estradiol. I'm not on estradiol.
@adirat I have a lady boner for you and your smartness!!! Thanks for breaking it down for me!!!
So I spoke with the nurse and financial counselor for the new clinic and just had a very long convo with DH. So we have a vacation in early October and my twin brother is getting married next august which if we started an IVF cycle it would put the next cycle too close to his wedding and a potential due date and I don't want to put my family in a situation to choose between his wedding plans and their first grandchild if it came down to it as that is a very important moment for him as well. also as I posted yesterday I still didn't feel quite ready for IVF and after getting some reassurance that we aren't quite DOR I don't feel as rushed in my decision making process.
so anyhow, we will do the genetic testing, DH will do a repeat SA for the new clinic and DH will do blood work since my old clinic only had him do an SA, then we will try on our own this month. Next month we will do one more IUI. My new clinic does 2 IUIs for one treatment cycle and this would be my third IUI. I would feel better saying that we did 3 IUIs before going to IVF. Then if not successful we will try on our own and start an IVF cycle a few days after Christmas this way it gives me and DH 3 months to eat right do everything in our power to make IVF as successful as it possibly can be and I will feel like at that point we tried everything treatment related we could before moving onto IVF and that we are physically and emotionally ready for it. I feel some relief knowing that we have a plan in place.
@BusinessWife oh I get it, that makes complete sense now!!! After @adirat explanation and your post I get the testing and reason for pgs now. I'm crossing my fingers so hard for perfect embies for a full family for you and YH. I love that you want to transfer all
@madspunk I'm sorry things are so complicated. I really wish I could get into yoga!
@50wife I hope s writhing looks great for tomorrow! As for Stitch Fix, you can ask for your old stylist back if you remember the name or when. I had to do that.
@Redpuma119 ugh I would not be confident in that nurse. Is there another one you can ask to speak to?
@KariAnn323 Sorry - no interpretations of the test results to offer here. From what I can tell, these look pretty good. Did the OB send any kind of interpretation with the results?
@RedPuma119 How frustrating... I hate going against what a dr is recommending, but I'm glad you are pushing back on them on this one! I'd really like to see why they are recommending that particular diet.
@beachbunnyxo123 That's great you have a plan in place! I'm with you in changing my lifestyle in preparation for IVF!
@beachbunnyxo123 That sounds like a great plan, we are pretty much in the same boat as far as timeline. Hopefully we won't even have to make the decision about IVF!
@beachbunnyxo123 Sounds like a great plan! Fx you get KU before, but if not, thats approximately (assuming these G-D cysts stop popping up and being life-ruiners) when we would be starting IVF too!
@BusinessWife and @adirat good to know about the PGS. My H and I want to have it done to ours if we make it to that point because like Lauren Conrad, I mean, @BusinessWife we want to try to avoid as much heartbreak as possible and if we can discard non-viable embryos, we can at least avoid that piece of heartbreak
@kariann323 I don't see anything of huge concern, but a lot of those numbers are hard to interpret because of when in your cycle they were done. Am I understanding correctly that you ovulated after these were done? Because your progesterone is quite high...
@beachbunnyxo123 I'm so glad you have a plan you can be feel good about!
@redpuma119 lol, again, my reaction is just "wut." Sounds like she knows nothing.
@businesswife Yep, we are also in the "transfer all viable embryos" boat though I doubt that'll be too too many. Although MH felt a lot better after learning that our clinic participates in embryo adoption, so if we do have any healthy embryos we don't use, they will go into the freezer for future adoption.
So here's another piece of the pgs thing to chew on... 1) We have to have specific instructions NOT TO IMMEDIATELY DESTROY non-viable embryos. We want the full report on everything in the off chance any are worth retesting due to possible mosaicism or IDK what. But we want to take it one step at a time. Usually anything non viable is just immediately discarded, so if you don't want that to happen, you need to say so. Early and often. Fx that part goes as planned when the time comes.
2) another point my doctor brought to light is that any PGS tested Downs embryos will <b>not</b> be transferred. Ever. Not without sending them to a different facility and a whole rigamarole. I figure we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I mean most couples, even if say you had 7 normal frosties and one with downs, you're going to start with the normies, maybe have two or three and destroy or put for research or adoption any/all remaining unused embryos. And it's strange how my understanding of a lot of this stuff has evolved as I've been faced with it head on. Without going "there" for now, say even after testing 10 we were to end up with 3 viable frosties - 2 normies and 1 with downs, I'm sure we would transfer the two normies first and then, if it came to it, we might have to fight to bring our third baby into the world. Idk. Not going to dwell on it tho since it may never happen. *typos
TL;DR How I've come to think of IVF from a Catholic perspective. *TW*
<div class="Spoiler">Now for the philosophical/ethical part.... I think for Catholics the biggest objection - and there are several - is the "killing of innocent life," part which, I do feel to a certain extent comes from an intentionally un-informed position. There are vast differences between *********TW******** murdering a child, abortion, not transferring potentially viable embryos, and discarding non-viable embryonic cell matter. *********/TW*********
Like that's the part that you can't even have a conversation with some people if you can't get past that point. The abnormal embryos cannot become people. It would be lovely if every combination of sperm+egg=offspring, but that's just not the case, and that's okay. It happens in nature all the time. Just because it happened to occur in the lab setting doesn't mean the same result wouldn't have happened irl. Sperm+egg maybe get far enough to fertilize, (or not! Bc with ICSI omg you are truly creating the possibility for life where there was NONE, so seriously) and if in "Nature," it would have been a chemical or mc or not even, I don't see that particular bit of biological matter as particularly precious. It is only because of the HOPES we lay on that meeting of sperm+egg, and the trouble we went to to get that to happen!!! But if it didn't work out in that particular instance, it would not have worked out in nature, and we might never have even known. That's where I think a lot of Catholics will not even learn enough about IVF to get to that point. And why I think doing PGS is important to me, because there is a fundamental difference imho between tested normals and tested abnormals. (Not getting into any grey areas of retesting or mosaicism or whatever here.)
There are other objections too, which I won't get into them all here, but suffice it to say, we would hope to be able to give all our viable embies a shot at life in my own womb, if at all possible. I know a lot of couples may say that going in, have or two, and realize they are done. I think that may be an easier choice to make too tho, <i>without PGS</i> in a way, I could see. Because let's say you have 8 untested frosties. Or 5. Whatever. If we have not tested them, it's easier to maybe say, "we have no idea if they are even viable. We could keep trying transfers, rolling the dice each time, or we can just call it where we are and no great loss bc hello! X No. Outside babies here!!!" Whereas if a couple were to have 3 PGS normal - potentially viable - embryos waiting, for me it feels more important to go back and give them a shot, because the odds are much greater that a pgs tested embryo will produce a live birth. For me, I'd feel like I have to go back in there and get my babies!!! Like if I have 7 kids trapped in a housefire, and we got out 3 so far, I am not going to tell the firefighters okay, we are good. Lol. I know it's not the same, and forgive me anyone who may personally feel differently, but anyway - as a Catholic - that is how I have come to wrap my head around this thing. It is all a series of medical procedures. Like any other health issues, you would go to the doctor - to the Best doctor you could find! - and get treated. The fact that it hopefully will result in producing our babies makes it even MORE important that we seek treatment, bc it's not even our own lives at stake - it's the lives of our future children. So it's tough and I haven't been back to Church yet or talked to a Priest, but God forgive us if getting the doctors' help here is wrong. Because my feeble human brain can't comprehend how it could be anything but miraculous!</div><p> </p>
@adirat That is exactly what I was thinking. Chart is in spoiler. CHs were solid until I added the progesterone today. There's is a chance O was CD 19. A lot of the time I O the same day as my positive opk, and I had some cramping that evening.
@KariAnn323 you could have O'd on CD 19 and had a fall-back rise....orrrr on CD 21. Lol. I don't know if there will be any definitive answer for you until you get AF, so then you can interpret the BW
I had follow up bloodwork and an ultrasound this morning. I'm still not quite ready for my IUI so I'm going back Friday morning. She said to make sure I made my appt early and bring my trigger shot with me incase. I'm excited. But like a nervous excited. I'm ready for Friday like now!
SNIP** Apparently if we decide not do the PGS testing then it will be up to us to do a fresh vs frozen transfer. They said frozen has a slightly higher success rate. Did any of you have to choose and if so how did you decide?
@safire3 The reason frozen has a high success rate is because only the best of the best can survive being frozen and thawed back out, so that is why frozen rates are higher. However, since MH has such crappy counts and has a chromosomal abnormality, the doc does not expect good quality embryos from his sperm. I had asked if we should get some extra vials of his sperm to freeze in case on the day of ICSI he doesn't have enough in his ejaculate, that we could use it as backup and the RE said he doesn't even expect that his sperm could handle freezing. All of that being said, we have to do a FET because we are PGS testing (due to the chromosomal abnormality-balanced translocation), and also why we are choosing to do donor backup.
I have been kicking butt on our to-do list yesterday and today. Scheduled all appointments and faxed a buttload of documents.
@BusinessWife and @adirat We just read and signed all of our consents for IVF and PGS. It's crazy, but we also are donating all to research or adoption as well.
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
Re: IF Treatment &Testing Week of July 31
@Redpuma119 I agree....soy is bad for PCOS. I hope you get some clarification on what they want you to eat.
@beachbunnyxo123 I love express too, although I do find that more recently I can go in and walk out with nothing...maybe it's a sign I'm old!
@kiwi2628 I'm sorry about the cysts. Ugh that sucks.
@lulu1180 A break can be really healthy. I wish I could take a break but I truly believe it would be more stressful for me!
@KariAnn323 thinking of you. I can't believe they put you through that testing at CD20...
@BusinessWife Yay for almost being in a retrieval cycle!!!!
@JuneRoseRuby I totally understand about timelines. By the time we get to each step I've already wanted to be there months ago!
@TravelingCouple I'm so excited for your move! Almost jealous of your distraction!
@laurad75 I love J.Crew too!
@adirat thanks girl
@safire3 I'm not going to say this process isn't hard but you'll figure it out as you go. Fortunately not everything hits at the same time. Message me with any questions, I'm happy to share more of my experience
@shortstack1030 fingers crossed for you! I hope this is the IUI!
Sorry for those that I missed, I really appreciate the support.
Cycle/CD: CD 7
1st I did not know why I never ovulate, doctors chalk it up to my weight (BMI 40), but I've never had a regular cycle my entire life and for the majority of it, I was a healthy weight. Had a hysteroscopy and D&C to try to diagnose any issues in July 2015. Remained undiagnosed, used Provera to regulate my periods.
Then, *2 MONTHS* before my wedding, to the man I had been dating for 9 years and living with for 5-6 and was planning on starting TTC a month before the wedding with, I was misdiagnosed and a torsed fallopian tube turned necrotic and had to be removed because my ER doctor discharged me without removing a 3.5" cyst from the fallopian tube and it died as I waited 6 days for a scheduled surgery (can you tell I'm bitter? hah).
We start TTC, SA comes back with Sperm count of 9 million, low motility. Dr. decides to Rx Letrezole and tests DH's testosterone. It comes back extremely low, DH is referred to Urologist. Urologist recommends losing weight, getting better sleep and wearing boxers. He says Testosterone supplements will improve his quality of life and ability to do all of the above, but will diminish his sperm count further.
While that was happening, we got the BFN after IUI/Clomid round 1. DH now wants me to wait 4 months for his "sperm to reset" and thinks he is going to do this on his own. I am feeling utterly defeated. I don't think his losing weight is going to change his sperm count ENOUGH to matter, fertility-wise. I want him to get healthier, OF COURSE, but I'm terrified we're wasting time for the results to be the same 4 months from now as they are now.
We are seeing the doctor tomorrow. I'm terrified that he will suggest IVF and I'm terrified that he won't. I don't even know WHAT to think. I am really been crazy lately. I got off of my anti-depressant to try to have a "natural" drug-free pregnant and birth. But this TTC journey has made me depression RAGE, and I think I need back on to something. I feel like I've failed myself, I've failed this baby that has yet to exist and I don't deserve to be a mom. I've also been so bitter about DH sperm count, and I feel TERRIBLE about it.
Any questions? Any advice on how to stay sane? Has ANYONE dealt with both male infertility and any of the issues I have as well, and what did the doctor suggest? Continue IUI... stop until you are at a healthier BMI... IVF... or just stop altogether?
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? Lane Bryant or Torrid. Before I started gaining a of weight and battling depression, it was Victoria's Secret..
If anyone has read this, bless you, bless your heart and soul. I am an anxious wreck ATM.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
I think your second message is missing a tag for the person you are replying to. To tag, type the @ and then the screen name of who you want to tag.
@KristoKekerooni Well hopefully a progesterone supplement will help?
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
As to your post here, this is a rough, rough road, and any bit of support helps. The ladies in this thread are a wonderful source of knowledge, experience, guidance, and good vibes, so you're in good company here.
As we were talking about earlier today, up there, we all have high and low points month to month/ week to week/ hour to hour/ minute to minute. Those feelings are totally normal, but I'm sorry that you have to experience them. I'm sending you all of the good vibes for your appointment tomorrow, and I think that, regardless of what your doctor says (IVF or no), the information and direction will help give you some peace of mind.
Can I ask? You said that you're seeing your OBGYN/fertility specialist, have you been seeing an RE (reproductive endocrinologist)? At the end of the day, an OB is an OB, not an RE (though some REs are also OBs). They specialize in different things and have very different jobs. I would highly recommend that you look into seeing an RE if you haven't already. It sounds like you have an extensive history that would certainly warrant an RE's expertise. How long have you two been TTC?
We currently deal with both MFI (OAT - meaning all 3 of H's primary SA numbers are low), and an ovulatory dysfunction on my end that has yet to be fully explored (RE's theory is that it's potentially endometriosis related, though I have not had a diagnostic lap, so that theory is unconfirmed). Obviously every situation is different, so what my RE suggests may not be what your Dr suggests. When we first found out about H's situation, we were sort of shell-shocked. I had long standing known issues, so I just assumed that it was all me. My OB had ordered the SA, and immediately sent us to an RE. She refused to even look at anymore tests saying that H's numbers were beyond her area of expertise and she couldn't help us. At our first consult with our RE, she referred us to a RU (reproductive urologist) and flat out said that IVF with ICSI was our only real option at that point.
I would highly suggest that your H see a RU, not just a regular urologist. RUs specialize in fixing andrology issues while preserving fertility. As you noted, low T treatments almost always destroy sperm numbers, so it's important to be working with someone who can help you in both areas.
Through a combination of lifestyle changes and vitamins (and probably kismet), H's numbers have gone up enough that IUI is back on the table for us. Because of H's issues, we've largely ignored mine for the moment (The RE's prevailing theory being that, if we have to do IUI/IVF anyway for H, my issues will be addressed then). We don't know what we're going to do, what path we're going to take, or how we'll feel about any of it yet.
As far as staying sane? - All I can say there is that, there are times when you will absolutely not feel sane. I have been there so many times over the last 2+ years that I cannot even count. You are certainly not alone there, we all go through it, this journey sucks. Try to be kind to yourself. Meditation and calming thoughts are said to help. I suggest reading the book Conquering Infertility if you haven't already, it's great for helping you figure out how to get to better place mentally.
I think I'll end this novel here but, again, welcome, and feel free to PM me if you have any more specific questions.
Edit: fix tag.
@beachbunnyxo123 which clinic are you going to continue going to?
@AlohaKumu I'm glad it went so well today! And ugh, the full bladder. I'm like a camel and don't have to go often but when I do, I have to go right then!
@lulu1180 *Hugs* I hope the break helps. We'll miss you though
@zwink1 GL with the RU appointment
@safire3 I'm sorry you don't have anyone IRL other than YH for support. *Hugs* We're all here for you
@laurad75 Sorry AF is being a B
@AlohaKumu I hope everything is okay with your leg
@TravelingCouple Safe travels!
@beachbunnyxo123 Thankfully I've already met my deductible for the year, and I only have to pay 10% after I meet it so money isn't so much the issue. I got most of the results back (I'll post after work), but it's hard to compare since they're from CD 20. I'm glad that you seem more comfortable with the new clinic. I know it's overwhelming, but I'm sure you and YH will come to the best decision for you guys.
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
WHICH I AM VERY AGAINST. Don't we already do enough? I get to "relax" in the 2ww. I'm not a symptom spotter. I don't serial test. It's MY time. So for me to have to do this pisses me off.
@KariAnn323 Thanks, It does totally suck. You know, we are kinda on both sides- can't get pregnant, can't stay pregnant, but at least the whole time it's only been a one-sided issue, our MFI. But now I feel like we have two "counts" against us on the latter part (staying pregnant). So now we don't only have to deal with miscarriage rates from the sperm DNA fragmentation, but we also have to deal with progesterone issues? I just can't.
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Edit to add: it's called Progest-Avail
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Diagnoses: RPL, Endometriosis, MFI (count, morph, DNI, DNAS, multiple bilateral subclinical varicoceles), low progesterone
Check out my Infertility blog
Check out my Infertility Instagram
BFP: 15 August 2015, loss confirmed 23 August 2015
BFP: 16 November 2015, loss confirmed 22 November 2015
BFP: 18 July 2016, loss confirmed same day
BFP: 04 March 2018, loss confirmed 23 March 2018
BFP: 12 June 2018, TWINS; D&C 06 July 2018
Met with OBGYN in January 2016
Me: all clear, H: OAT
November 2016: HSG = All Clear!
January 2017: H tested again, High DNA fragmentation and stainability
February 2017: Clomid + TI + Progesterone = BFN
March 2017: Clomid + HCG + IUI + Progesterone = SA/wash: zero count on attempt #1, <1,000 on attempt #2= BFN
Varicocele Embolization- 5 May 17
December 2017 SA: Zero improvement after embolization
January IVF- 25 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized, 3 frozen day fives (3AA, 3AA, 3AA), 1 frozen day 6 (5BB), 1 frozen day 7 (3CC)
Three PGS normal (3AA, 3AA, 5BB), one inconclusive (3AA)
FET #1: 27 February 2018, 3AA & 5BB, one stuck! BFP 04 March 2018.... Loss confirmed 23 March 2018
May 2018: SHG/SIS = all clear "beautiful uterus"
FET #2: 04 June 2018, 3AA PGS normal embryo, 3AA PGS hatching inconclusive embryo.
BFP: 12 June 2018, EDD 20 February 2019
Ultrasound, 25 June 2018: There are two!
Lost Baby A 02 July 2018
Baby B not growing, D&C 06 July 2018
Laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, chromotubation: 23 July 2018: blocked right tube, heavily inflamed, covered in endo. Removed right tube. Removed more endo from uterus, tubes, ovaries. Endo remains on bladder and bowel.
ER#2 ~Jan 2019
Redpuma119 Hopefully the try on your own cycles work out! Fingers crossed for you. Ain’t nobody wanna pay for IVF if they don’t have to.
AlohaKumu Do you wear compression socks on flights? My sister had to start doing that and it helps her immensely.
shortstack930 I had my tonsillectomy like 5 years ago and she came to help me out, so it was only fair. Plus, I took care of her, but got to spend the week coloring and watching movies, etc. J And it is an AWFUL recovery. You can’t eat like anything for a few weeks and so even when you feel better you’re hangry all the time.
purplg8r My sister’s doing well, thanks. She was doing very poorly until last Thursday. She was doing ok after that and got a good follow-up review from Doctor just a few min ago. So, that’s great! Sorry for poor timing this month. Sucks when that happens since it seems like HIO is about the only thing we can actually control in this situation. Try not to beat yourself up over it.
adirat YAY for officially being signed up for IVF! Good luck trying not to freak out too much before late Sept!
KristoKekerooni Sorry.
@beachbunnyxo123 Sorry for conflicting info from REs. It’s hard to make a decision on what to do when the specialists don’t agree. DH and I were both karotyped to make sure the dna didn’t have an issue. But only I had the Counsyl test. It’s because the female can be a Fragile X carrier, but if MY tests came back OK then DH wouldn’t need to be tested. If my tests had showed anything for any of the diseases, then DH would’ve had to be tested to see if he was a carrier. Ugh… does that make sense at all?
anniemarie1289 Sorry you’ve had such a rough road TTC. I have a lot of anger/depression/rage issues after 4 MCs and deciding to see a therapist was the best decision I’ve made. Also, I take a low dose of anti-depressants to help me out as well. I know that it sucks to wait and be benched while TTC, but sometimes it’s for the best. I’m currently benched until I can lose 21 lbs. (I’m down 8 as of this morning). And while it feels like useless time and I just want to try again, I also want to be the healthiest I can for PG and hopefully a future baby. So taking some time off while YH and you make some lifestyle changes, could be good for you mentally as well, if you view it more of a break/vacation to do things you wouldn’t normally do while TTC.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
introduced myself yesterday on the newbie thread, but this one seems like the right place given where I'm at.
A bit of background: TW, mentions loss. DH and I started TTC last June. I've always been highly irregular (45-60 CDs, occasionally skipping several months at a time), but my MDs always told me that was fine, and not to worry about it. I've always been quite thin (runs in the family), and I think they attributed it to my weight, not acknowledging that there might be an underlying issue, despite my recurring experience of severe, sharp pain in my left abdomen.. Stopped BC 6/1/16, WFAF for 3 months (MD said they wouldn't jumpstart for 90 days). Then, a surprise BFP in early September! Followed, heartbreakingly, by a MC a month later at 8 weeks. Since then I've only had three cycles. Started working with a RE in June. HSG looked good on my right side, but showed a very narrow path and no spill in my left tube. RE wants to wait & try a few cycles of letrozole before doing a laparoscopy.
Diagnosis (If you've been): oligomenorrhea.. RE thinks possible PCOS and probable endometriosis.
Cycle/CD: 5/26
Any questions? So, my left tube is mostly blocked, but I also almost always OV on my left side. RE says that eggs from one side can travel through the opposite tube.. But I don't have a good sense of whether that's like, a miracle of science/journal article can, or an off-menu burger topping can. Do any of you have any experienced with this, or know someone who has?
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? JCrew, Kate Spade.
Married and TTC since 6/2016
@lizeybee I'm sorry you find yourself here, but this is a fantastic group of women. I just listened to a podcast on Beat Infertility where they ("they" meaning actual medical doctors) talked about women who did get pregnant when eggs go from one tube to the other side, even though a tube was damaged or completely missing. Obviously it decreases the odds a bit, but it's certainly not impossible.
TTC since June 2016
Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
Our journey has come to an end.
@JuneRoseRuby I'm glad the hysteroscopy went well. Hope you guys get everything done and you can start soon.
@beachbunnyxo123 I'm also a bit confused about the genetic testing. My RE recommended PGS for us but also the genetic testing for me and DH. I don't see why we really need both. I do understand that there are some things that the PGS testing can pick up even with normal genetic testing (like spontaneous mutations) but the incidence of these is low. So far I declined my genetic testing (I had a panel done some time ago with my23 so I gave them a copy of that) and I let DH do the genetic testing. If his comes back normal we May decline the PGS testing (which apparently will cost up to $6000).
@anniemarie1289 Sorry that you find yourself here but you are in good company. @zwink1 already gave you some awesome info. I am also dealing with MFI and we are starting IVF. It can be very hard for some men to come to terms with the fact that they are sub-fertile. Your H may be in a bit of denial and feel like he can fix it all himself. After your appointment today maybe you should sit with him and explain exactly how you feel. You can't do this without him so you guys need to be on the same page. I hope you get some useful answers today and you guys can make a plan that works for you both.
@lizeybee welcome and sorry you find yourself here. I have seen it mentioned before that an egg can travel through the opposite tube but I don't think that it is a common occurrence. I hope the medicated cycle works for you and your stay here is short.
AFM we met with the nurse today to go over the protocol and for the general IVF orientation. Basically I start BCP today for about 3 weeks then to back for another u/s and estrogen level. If everything is ok then I start Menopur and Gonal F. Then hopefully retrieval 10-12 days after starting stims. I am equally excited and terrified. We still have lots of things to decide. Apparently if we decide not do the PGS testing then it will be up to us to do a fresh vs frozen transfer. They said frozen has a slightly higher success rate. Did any of you have to choose and if so how did you decide?
The genetic testing on you and your partner is to check for genetic disorders that you may carry. These are mostly recessive single-gene conditions that will not have an impact on your child unless both you and your partner are carriers. (They also test for a few X- and Y-linked disorders that can be passed to a child.) You may be familiar with diseases that are prominent in the cultural consciousness like Tay-Sachs or cystic fibrosis. PGS does not check for these diseases. It simply can't. But if you are tested, you will know if there's any risk of you and your partner being carriers for a condition that could be passed on. Some of these conditions, while recessive, do have an impact on fertility so it isn't unusual to have this testing done at the RE's. Ours did testing on us immediately in our first appointment (and obviously I am very grateful he did since I turned out to carry an x-linked disorder that no one in my family had ever presented with).
If you do have a condition, you can do PGD (pre-implantation genetic diagnosis) to check embryos for this condition. But this is more involved and requires a specialized test for your condition -- it's different from PGS which just looks at the chromosomes and is the same test for everyone.
Both genetic carrier testing and PGS are very personal decisions and I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. But for me, I can tell you that I am extremely grateful I had this testing done because it allowed us to make a much more educated decision about our babies and my fertility (since my condition does impact fertility).
I have done a ton a done of research on this so let me know if you have more questions!
@kiwi2628 Sorry to hear about the cysts.
@lulu1180 Sorry you're at the "breaking" point. I am right there with you, resetting myself now. I hope this is your cycle, but if not, I hope this break is what you need to get back in a good mindset and lose some weight.
@shortstack930 I hope this last IUI works for you!
@RedPuma119 Soy and carbs are not recommended in any of the PCOS diets I've seen. Most PCOS diets I see are somewhat paleo. And my RE definitely advocates for eating avocados and nuts and other foods with good fats in them. I try to eat low carb, no added sugar, no dairy, no soy - and that seems to do well for me (when I'm successful in keeping with the diet).
@AlohaKumu Glad the sono looked good! (And that you were able to make it to the bathroom in time after!)
@anniemarie1289 Sorry you find yourself here. Some great advice has already been given, but I wanted to tack on my support. MH had slightly low motility at the first SA, but it improved with lifestyle changes (healthier diet, no caffeine, quitting smoking). I also have what my RE calls "a gnarly case of PCOS" so I remember the day I got his SA results coupled with my PCOS, and I flipped out. I sat in my car and cried. Hard. IF has made me rage a lot. Exercise, yoga, eating well, and talking with other IF-ers helps. I hope you can find some similar outlets that help you. It's also difficult when H is not quite on the same page as to how aggressive to get with treatment and how quickly. From my experience on these boards, it's often that the women want to move more quickly, and the men drag their feet or are in denial.
Cycle/CD: month 19/an-O
Any questions? no
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing? Nothing lately. I've been having a hard time finding stores with clothes that fit right.
Cycle/CD: I think cycle 15 at this point. CD 11
Any questions? i don't think so!
GTKY: What are your favorite stores for purchasing clothing?
Ill be shopping online at some of the places you guys have mentioned. I'm boring-I do target or kohls. I gave stitch fix a shot and the first two boxes were on point. But then they've been assigning me different stylists and they're getting further and further away from my style by the box. I'm not sure I want to risk it and give them one last shot or not.
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
@50wife I hope this IUI is the one!
@madspunk Thanks for backing me up on the PCOS diet. And I'm glad you're getting into the right head space!
AFM I heard back from the nurse about my concerns with the diet. She quoted my "concern about a diet that is 90% carbs" and responded with a chart of a sample diet and that they would never suggest that kind of diet. So I entered the sample day food into a calorie counter and sent her a screen shot of the results. 82% carbs. Hmmmm.. I also pointed out that the new diet recommended soy, to which she responded that it's okay because I'm on Estradiol. I'm not on estradiol.
So I spoke with the nurse and financial counselor for the new clinic and just had a very long convo with DH. So we have a vacation in early October and my twin brother is getting married next august which if we started an IVF cycle it would put the next cycle too close to his wedding and a potential due date and I don't want to put my family in a situation to choose between his wedding plans and their first grandchild if it came down to it as that is a very important moment for him as well. also as I posted yesterday I still didn't feel quite ready for IVF and after getting some reassurance that we aren't quite DOR I don't feel as rushed in my decision making process.
so anyhow, we will do the genetic testing, DH will do a repeat SA for the new clinic and DH will do blood work since my old clinic only had him do an SA, then we will try on our own this month. Next month we will do one more IUI. My new clinic does 2 IUIs for one treatment cycle and this would be my third IUI. I would feel better saying that we did 3 IUIs before going to IVF. Then if not successful we will try on our own and start an IVF cycle a few days after Christmas this way it gives me and DH 3 months to eat right do everything in our power to make IVF as successful as it possibly can be and I will feel like at that point we tried everything treatment related we could before moving onto IVF and that we are physically and emotionally ready for it. I feel some relief knowing that we have a plan in place.
@50wife I hope s writhing looks great for tomorrow! As for Stitch Fix, you can ask for your old stylist back if you remember the name or when. I had to do that.
@Redpuma119 ugh I would not be confident in that nurse. Is there another one you can ask to speak to?
@beachbunnyxo123 it sounds like you have a solid plan in place!
@KariAnn323 Sorry - no interpretations of the test results to offer here. From what I can tell, these look pretty good. Did the OB send any kind of interpretation with the results?
@RedPuma119 How frustrating... I hate going against what a dr is recommending, but I'm glad you are pushing back on them on this one! I'd really like to see why they are recommending that particular diet.
@beachbunnyxo123 That's great you have a plan in place! I'm with you in changing my lifestyle in preparation for IVF!
TTC #2 - August 2016
MFI
IUI #1-3 BFN
BFP 4/21/18 MMC 6/11/18
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
@BusinessWife and @adirat good to know about the PGS. My H and I want to have it done to ours if we make it to that point because like Lauren Conrad, I mean, @BusinessWife we want to try to avoid as much heartbreak as possible and if we can discard non-viable embryos, we can at least avoid that piece of heartbreak
@beachbunnyxo123 I'm so glad you have a plan you can be feel good about!
@redpuma119 lol, again, my reaction is just "wut." Sounds like she knows nothing.
@businesswife Yep, we are also in the "transfer all viable embryos" boat though I doubt that'll be too too many. Although MH felt a lot better after learning that our clinic participates in embryo adoption, so if we do have any healthy embryos we don't use, they will go into the freezer for future adoption.
2) another point my doctor brought to light is that any PGS tested Downs embryos will <b>not</b> be transferred. Ever. Not without sending them to a different facility and a whole rigamarole. I figure we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I mean most couples, even if say you had 7 normal frosties and one with downs, you're going to start with the normies, maybe have two or three and destroy or put for research or adoption any/all remaining unused embryos. And it's strange how my understanding of a lot of this stuff has evolved as I've been faced with it head on. Without going "there" for now, say even after testing 10 we were to end up with 3 viable frosties - 2 normies and 1 with downs, I'm sure we would transfer the two normies first and then, if it came to it, we might have to fight to bring our third baby into the world. Idk. Not going to dwell on it tho since it may never happen. *typos
TL;DR How I've come to think of IVF from a Catholic perspective. *TW*
<div class="Spoiler">Now for the philosophical/ethical part....
I think for Catholics the biggest objection - and there are several - is the "killing of innocent life," part which, I do feel to a certain extent comes from an intentionally un-informed position. There are vast differences between *********TW******** murdering a child, abortion, not transferring potentially viable embryos, and discarding non-viable embryonic cell matter. *********/TW*********
Like that's the part that you can't even have a conversation with some people if you can't get past that point. The abnormal embryos cannot become people. It would be lovely if every combination of sperm+egg=offspring, but that's just not the case, and that's okay. It happens in nature all the time. Just because it happened to occur in the lab setting doesn't mean the same result wouldn't have happened irl. Sperm+egg maybe get far enough to fertilize, (or not! Bc with ICSI omg you are truly creating the possibility for life where there was NONE, so seriously) and if in "Nature," it would have been a chemical or mc or not even, I don't see that particular bit of biological matter as particularly precious. It is only because of the HOPES we lay on that meeting of sperm+egg, and the trouble we went to to get that to happen!!! But if it didn't work out in that particular instance, it would not have worked out in nature, and we might never have even known. That's where I think a lot of Catholics will not even learn enough about IVF to get to that point. And why I think doing PGS is important to me, because there is a fundamental difference imho between tested normals and tested abnormals. (Not getting into any grey areas of retesting or mosaicism or whatever here.)
There are other objections too, which I won't get into them all here, but suffice it to say, we would hope to be able to give all our viable embies a shot at life in my own womb, if at all possible. I know a lot of couples may say that going in, have or two, and realize they are done. I think that may be an easier choice to make too tho, <i>without PGS</i> in a way, I could see. Because let's say you have 8 untested frosties. Or 5. Whatever. If we have not tested them, it's easier to maybe say, "we have no idea if they are even viable. We could keep trying transfers, rolling the dice each time, or we can just call it where we are and no great loss bc hello! X No. Outside babies here!!!" Whereas if a couple were to have 3 PGS normal - potentially viable - embryos waiting, for me it feels more important to go back and give them a shot, because the odds are much greater that a pgs tested embryo will produce a live birth. For me, I'd feel like I have to go back in there and get my babies!!! Like if I have 7 kids trapped in a housefire, and we got out 3 so far, I am not going to tell the firefighters okay, we are good. Lol. I know it's not the same, and forgive me anyone who may personally feel differently, but anyway - as a Catholic - that is how I have come to wrap my head around this thing. It is all a series of medical procedures. Like any other health issues, you would go to the doctor - to the Best doctor you could find! - and get treated. The fact that it hopefully will result in producing our babies makes it even MORE important that we seek treatment, bc it's not even our own lives at stake - it's the lives of our future children. So it's tough and I haven't been back to Church yet or talked to a Priest, but God forgive us if getting the doctors' help here is wrong. Because my feeble human brain can't comprehend how it could be anything but miraculous!</div><p>
</p>
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
I had follow up bloodwork and an ultrasound this morning. I'm still not quite ready for my IUI so I'm going back Friday morning. She said to make sure I made my appt early and bring my trigger shot with me incase.
I'm excited. But like a nervous excited. I'm ready for Friday like now!
I have been kicking butt on our to-do list yesterday and today. Scheduled all appointments and faxed a buttload of documents.
@BusinessWife and @adirat We just read and signed all of our consents for IVF and PGS. It's crazy, but we also are donating all to research or adoption as well.
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid