July 2016 Moms
FTM53
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1 year mom Check-In
FTM53
member
Well, it's been a whole year! We've survived but I know there have been bumps, bruises, losses, gains, struggles and triumphs. Here's the place to list 'em all
1) Current happiest surprise about having LO
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
6) Other major life changes in the past year
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
1) Current happiest surprise about having LO
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
6) Other major life changes in the past year
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
Re: 1 year mom Check-In
2. I swear my hips are definitely wider and my a$$ is definitely bigger, most of my skirts and dresses that fit pre-baby barely fit around my hips and are inappropriate for work, so still adjust to this.
3. I wish not having stretch marks, they are completely worth it since we have C in our lives, but damn you bathing suit season!
4. My relationship with my Aunt is definitely strained. We used to be super close, but since C was born she thinks she is entitled to have separate time with C, when she lives 6 hours away. She was sadly mistaken when she thought I would commute to CT just for her to have C spend the night at her house (that is currently being renovated and that she, her boyfriend, and their combined 4 kids are sharing the finished basement as the sleeping area). Also she has accused me of trying to cut ties with the family, which is ridiculous especially since my parents are important to C.
5. My close group of friends have been so supportive and automatically assume C is coming to all events. So glad we are surrounded by such love.
6. I started business school and got promoted at work. Time management is crucial, but chaos is guaranteed.
7. Breastfeeding. Both for doing for 9 months, and not for making to a year.
8. Pumping at work. Fighting for a place to pump in private.
9. C walking and traveling the world with us. Maybe a second baby??
2. Body changes- breastfeeding and avoiding dairy has helped me get 20 pounds below my prepregnancy weight. Boobs are ginormous from breastfeeding. Not sure how they'll end up when I'm done. Stretch marks but I look at them as battle scars- like wow, my body grew and pushed out a human. That's pretty cool.
3. Prebaby life- I do miss one on one time with my husband. Also my relationship with my dog has changed and I feel like I give her less attention.
4. Losing friends/family- technically no but I do feel like some friends are more understanding if I don't see them for awhile. I know my best friend would like to hang out more often but I can't do it. It is what it is.
5. Good friendship changes- Yes, I have a few friends who have babies and I feel like we can connect more. I do feel closer to my mom now that I am a mom.
6. Other changes- Along with the high emotional highs, there are very low lows. This has been the most emotionally intense year of my life. I'm also still dealing with pp anxiety (I had anxiety before so no big surprise there).
7. Mom shamed about- Definitely co-sleeping and not sharing a bed with my husband. And nursing anywhere.
8. "I survived"- Breastfeeding. I feel like it was hard for a long time! The first three months probably. Then when it got easier I was upset I didn't "enjoy" it. Now it's very easy and I would say I enjoy it. Another emotional roller coaster!
9. Looking forward to- Communicating more!!!! I can't wait to hear his little baby voice develop!!!
2. Body changes - my ribcage is still 2 inches bigger than pre-babies. I don't know if it will ever go down. Thanks for living up there for 8 months, Ruby.
3. Pre-baby life - I miss being able to just go do whatever I want to. Go to brunch, run four errands in an hour. With twins, living life how we used to is just impossible now. But we've adjusted.
4. Friends/family lost - Our friends have been amazing. Really understanding and accepting of how our lives have changed. Family on the other hand... my extended family has been terrible to us and DH's entire family (immediate and extended, minus a few people) have been awful as well. It's sad, but we're moving past it.
5. Friendships bettered - We have a friend that I affectionately call my "sister wife", even though he's a man. He was there for Andy my entire pregnancy when I was so sick I couldn't be. He's brought us Gatorade when everyone was sick. He brings us dinner like once a week. He's basically become family.
6. Life changes - Thankfully no other big changes in our lives this past year, I don't know if we could have handled it!
7. Mom shame - Oh where do I begin? Keeping my preemies quarantined on doctor's orders all winter. Not throwing their schedule out the window because someone planned something during their naps. Not buying princess everything for Ruby. Feeding them mostly organic.
8. "I survived" - I had many of these moments their first six months when I thought I honestly wouldn't get through the day. But recently, they were both sick and I was sick and DH was out of town. The day we were all the sickest, i got everyone to sleep and got into bed and I was like, I survived!
9. Looking forward - Watching these crazy kids grow. They are so funny now. They communicate with us and have their own personalities, which is so fun. I genuinely enjoy being home with them every day.
1) The pure joy I feel making him laugh and smile
2) still up 15lbs from prebaby weight, so I snore now. Working on it and hoping that weaning helps. Having issues with my hormones and BC which has led to stomach issues and random fatigue, GI, mental health, sexual desire issues. My feet are just slightly bigger...not quiet a half size. I got sciatica. And I have an undiagnosed mom injury - my left thumb knuckle hurts (maybe sprained?)
3) walking out of the house without a purse/bag. I used to just grab my card and ID, shove them in a pocket and leave
4) We don't talk to DHs family much and I got rid of a lot people in my life that wanted to interject their lifestyle and beliefs on DS and I
5) I've gained a bunch of friends and I've gotten closer to two cousins
6) Mom survived cancer, DH got a new job, and I got fired from mine
7) putting him in daycare. And it's gotten 100% worse now that I'm waiting on my new job to start
8) When I was able to keep my job through 3 solid months of severe illness and my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I had just gone back to work and my supply tanked. AND making it a complete year of breastfeeding.
9) Hearing LO's voice and seeing what he really is interested in.
1) Current happiest surprise about having LO
Just how big his personality is and how intense mom love is. After so much struggle to have him in the first place I knew I'd love the socks off of him, but I had no idea. He brings us so much joy it's ridiculous.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
Boobs are incredibly lopsided still, hahaha. Thankfully the dairy free thing helped me drop a lot of weight, I never could lose the extra fluff prepregnancy but now I'm 20lbs down! But now I'm also pregnant again soooo....
3) Anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
I mean, maybe being able to leave the house without much thought? But really no, looking back it's hard to even picture life without him, and DH and I have always been lame homebodies so it's not like having a baby changed that!
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
No, but my parents have divorced since he was born so we've had a lot of family tension in the past year just from adjusting to that.
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
My best friend had a baby this year too, so we've bonded on another level I guess.
6) Other major life changes in the past year
Parents' divorce, quitting my job and starting my own business, DH starting his PhD, and now baby number 2 on the way. Life is crazy, haha.
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
Honestly people are pretty supportive and if they disapprove of anything they don't shame me to my face, but I also don't share all of everything with people. Like I didn't really talk about cosleeping because I didn't want advice or disapproval. Also if my mom knew I was weaning right now she wouldn't like it, but she also doesn't know I'm pregnant so if she did she would understand. I just am careful what I share with different people I guess.
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
Probably when breastfeeding finally didn't hurt? Or when I ran my first solo errands with him? I don't remember, but there have definitely been small victories along the way!
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
Hearing him learn more words, just generally watching him learn and grow because it's my favorite, and meeting his little brother or sister!
1) Current happiest surprise about having LO
I knew I would love her, but man! It is a huge change. I also didn't realize how much it would grow as time goes on. She has become so silly and active.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
I am still 7 pounds over my prepregnancy weight. I finally started losing last month. My belly button will never look the same and I'm pretty sure my hips are permanently bigger.
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
I think just impromptu outings. I don't like to deviate too much from her schedule unless it is an important birthday party or church event. I used to go out to tea with friends, but entertaining a running toddler at the same time as having a conversation can be difficult.
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
No, but we had some struggles along the way!
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
Yes! My parents are very invested in her life and love her very much.
6) Other major life changes in the past year
I stopped working full time.
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
It is definitely discipline, scheduling, and sleep training. I wouldn't say I am crazy strict but I did set a schedule for her and I let her cry it out. I also am very consistent with her on what she can or can't touch/throw.
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
Breastfeeding struggles. It was a terrible discovery to learn that I was starving my daughter due to low milk supply. I tried everything but nothing ever brought it up past 2oz except prescription medication. We made it to 6 months (with supplementing)!
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
Sooo much!! I'm excited to hear what she has to say and watch her play with her cousins more. I'm also hoping that we get pregnant.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening? I'm still not over that my stomach will never look the same. The stretch marks and extra skin are really hard to look at some days. My hips are also a little wider. But now I'm getting a baby bump again, so it's a bit easier to dress in tighter shirts and stuff.
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement) Being able to do whatever we want without finding a sitter first.
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO? I have one friend left. My other "closest" friends have been MIA since she was born despite saying how they couldn't wait to hang out with her once she was here.
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO? the one friend I have left is my best friend of 8 years. She's E's godmother and loves her to pieces. It's so cool to see my daughter bond with this girl I've known for so long.
6) Other major life changes in the past year not much beyond finding out we were having another one so soon.
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about I don't get too much grief about anything. I think the biggest thing is from society about how moms have to be perfect and look incredible and that's just not true.
8) Greatest "I survived" moment looking back at the sleep struggle bus we finally got off of in the last month. November until June is a huge blur.
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year watching E learn more and grow, but also be a big sister!!
1) Current happiest surprise about having LO: Seeing how both of my boys love each other, this LO just loves chasing his brother and follows him all over the place.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
My boobs are just so deflated after breastfeeding two kids.. I still have lots of those hair wispys growing back in from losing hair post par tum.
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
even more just time for myself and time alone with my husband, I feel like its harder to ask people to watch them when theres now 2 and our high school babysitter I havent been brave enough to leave them both with her but I Think no that hes getting easier I prob can.
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
alot of my close girl friends all have 1-3 kiddos now and its so impossible to meet up or we do with all the kids and its chaos. It only happens every few months
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
a college friend I had lost touch with had her first baby a month before me and we got a lot closer..daily texts venting about pumping etc..she came to me for a lot of advice
6) Other major life changes in the past year
not really just juggling two kiddos
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
this one is not a great sleeper and I have let him sleep with us a lot which I said I would never ever let any of my kids do..you get so sleep deprived
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
this one was such an awful sleeper compared to my first hes just starting to sttn more consistently but still has off nights...he also was so colicy would cry all day sometimes
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
watching the two boys interact with each other and play with one another more now that the babe is getting more mobile..figuring out if we want #3...I am shocked Im even considering it, I always just said only two. I go back and forth even though this one was way harder of a baby than the first. I sometimes think Im crazy for even considering it.
In general I was so shocked how my two kiddos are soo different.. and how one could be way more chill and great easy baby..great sleeper etc to the other not being that way at all. Its funny how most say oh your second one is usually way easier etc..was complete opposite for me.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
My hips are definitely wider and I still have a lower belly pooch. I just found out I'm pregnant again, so I don't see these changing any time soon
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement): I miss the spontaneity of doing whatever we want and taking a nap on a weekend afternoon. Or staying out late and not worrying about how the baby is doing with someone else watching him.
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
Not especially. I think some of us have naturally grown apart a little. My best friend had a miscarriage right before my LO was born, but now we are actually due a week apart, so I think this will bring us closer together and neither of us wanted to take about the high/low things too in-depth when we were on opposite ends of the spectrum last year
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
I have a few other friends who had their first kids shortly after us, so it's been nice offering support to them and having people to talk about kids with
6) Other major life changes in the past year?
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about?
8) Greatest "I survived" moment?
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year?
I never imagined how much I would love her. I know it's so cheesy.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
I did not have any weightloss the past 11 months. My Dr mentioned I may be stuck for a year post partum. In the last few, I've finally begun to lose some. I also still struggle with an workouts since the c section.
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
I miss being able to do nothing. I miss being able to nap whenever.
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
Yes. I am not surprised. Some people just don't get it. Our closest friends are getting married and didn't understand that we couldn't just drop 2 grand to be in the wedding. We also had friends who expected to just drop off J with anyone do we could go out to dinner with them. Um, no.
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
Yes! This one surprised me. We have a few friends who were more like distant friends that now we constantly hang out. They love J and that's what matters the most to me.
6) Other major life changes in the past year
We bought a house. We didn't adopt a new furry family member. I am the most active I have ever been since high school.
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
I don't sanitize everything. I also let her play on the playground or in the grass without shoes. If she drops a cheerio out of her cuppy I let her pick it up and eat.
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
I had severe PPD and 10 months later I am completely off the medication and doing great. I met a wonderful village through our stroller group. They helped me understand many things can be normal and helped me cope.
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
We're TTC to hopefully some luck there. Seeing Baby J as a big sister. Watching her grow more and more.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening? I don't think so. Maybe my boobs are starting to fill back in, now that we've ended breastfeeding. Curious to see what the final result is there, lol.
3) anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement): Spontaneity. Later nights out with just my husband, with friends. We don't have an army of family to help with L, so 97% of our nights include her, or a plan at home that allows us to have fun, but still parent.
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?: Close! Definitely some changed relationships. Shockingly mostly with my friends with kids! My kid-less friends are SO incredibly accommodating and love that she comes out with us often! Family has been a challenge to balance too. But I think we're doing ok in that department. My MIL is a little nutty, but manageable.
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?: The kid-less friends! And I'd say we have a better relationship with our neighbors now that we've joined the parent club. So that's been fun!
6) Other major life changes in the past year: I don't think so. We're all at our same jobs, transitioning back was went well. Same house....same old, same old! lol.
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about: Probably the not looking for a sitter/leaving our kid more.
8) Greatest "I survived" moment: When L was barely 3 months old, we went to Europe for 10 days. Looking back, I think I can't believe we did that, lol! But it truly went just fine!! Traveling now, I anticipate will be a different story. I'll be crossing my fingers and doing a lot of praying for our next plane ride in August.
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year: More traveling!!! I love how mobile she is now, and intrigued by everything around her. We can't wait to do more fun trips and help develop her personality socially and emotionally!
1) Current happiest surprise about having LO
-The relationship she has with her Daddy. I knew he'd be a good Dad but the bond they have is amazing and it never fails to make my heart explode. That and the excitement and pride that I feel. When she claps at the end of a song it reminds me to enjoy the little things. And I just burst with pride every time I watch her do things, didn't know I could be this proud.
2) Any body/physical changes still happening?
-Besides this darn irregular period and stupid baby hairs on my forehead, I've pretty much bounced back. I've been really trying to stick with my workouts and I'm excited to say that I'm now lower than my pre-pregnancy weight!
3) Anything you miss about prebaby life (no judgement)
-I miss spontaneous date nights with DH. I also miss being able to sleep in. We still do most everything we did before LO, we just take her with us but those nights when we don't get home until midnight from a pull and she's still awake by 6:30 start to take their toll!
4) Have you lost friends/family over LO?
-Sadly, yes. I have a friend in Ohio that had a baby in April and right away she wants to know when we're driving the 6+ hours to see her. I understand every new mom's excitement but she acts like she's the only one with a LO. Also, my relationship with my parents has become a bit strained. My mom loves to post pictures of S on Facebook whenever they see her - it's just to get attention because that's about as much of a Grandma as she wants to be. She gets jealous about how much my in-laws get to see S but then doesn't make more of an effort to change things. My in-laws are 20 minutes away and have a fully stocked house with toys, crib, and highchair for S. My parents are 2 1/2 hours away and don't even have a place for DH & I to sleep comfortably but then have declared that we should come over more and see them.
5) any friendships changed for the better with LO?
-YES! I've become super close with DH's friend's wife. We always got along but she has really become the person I can reach out to about anything - baby, DH, me - it doesn't matter she's always there with a listening ear and encouragement! I never thought we'd be as close as we have gotten since S was born.
6) Other major life changes in the past year
-Luckily S was the only major change
7) What have you gotten the most "Mom Shame" about
-At the beginning, breastfeeding. I felt like there was so much pressure and I was such a failure for only making it 3 months. Now it's probably dragging her along everywhere we go and not asking for help - I'm sure some think we're nuts for all the places we've taken S. We just don't like to do many things if she can't go with us! Up next: 3 truck pulls 5 hours away and then Lambeau Field next weekend!
8) Greatest "I survived" moment
-I survived the newborn stage. Looking back on it, not knowing I was starving S trying to breastfeed was probably the biggest reason I didn't like the newborn stage. Nothing I can do to change it now but I know better for next time!
9) Thing you most look forward to in the coming year
-We've got so many fun family things planned I'm excited to experience them all with S! I'm just excited to keep watching her develop into her own little person. Can't wait until she starts talking! (I'm sure I'll regret saying that later...)