Embryo adoption - resources and reviews?

scooteriste · June 2015

Hi ladies. It's been about a year since I signed on to these forums. Sold the scooter, focused on getting fit again, bought a horse (he's awesome) and basically healed from 4 full failed IVF cycles in the span of 9 months. Yikes.

I'm starting to pick my head up out of the sand a bit and find myself googling. I remember Snowflakes from reading here in the past; it seems like they are now part of another entity. Has anyone had recent experience working with them? I'm in New England and both clinics I used for IVF do not have donor embryo programs. I'm sort of on my own and want to make the best choice for DH and I.

So, does anyone have recommendations on the best way to be matched with a generous family who'd like to donate their embryos? It seems too good to be true, but I really want to try.

hayleydeee · July 2015

I'm having the same dilemma right now. I think a lot of it depends on how much input you want to have in the selection process. I talked to the people at Snowflakes the other day and they were very helpful. (https://www.nightlight.org/snowflakes-embryo-donation-adoption/)

From what I can tell the 2 options are to go through an agency, or to find someone on your own (through the Miracles in Waiting web site). I am still trying to decide which way we want to go.

Knottie36622473 · August 2015

@scooteriste I'd personally look at going overseas. I've considered this as IVF/freezing my own embryos puts me in an ethical/religious dilemma (for me personally I don't have issues with anyone else doing this). I've considered potentially doing embryo adoption if I can't conceive via IUI and I know I will most likely go to India if I do so. Less legal problems, completely confidential, cheaper, and more options for matching as people come globally to India for IVF because it's considered a medical/infertility tourism spot.

numberoneheidi · December 2015

Hi everyone. I'm new to this site, only posted once about a year ago. I want everyone out there who has been through the infertility up and down roller coaster to hear about my story, as just maybe I can help someone who is struggling right now to find some hope to go on.

I am one of the rare woman on this site & probably the Universe who hasn't longed to have a baby. I used to think there was something wrong with me...that I was missing some kind of motherly instincts. Or, maybe it's simply the fact that my own mother told me over and over growing up that having a child was the hardest thing in the world...that it's constant worry and pain & that I shouldn't do it. She even went as far to say that if she could do it all over again she wouldn't have had children; then in her second breathe she retracted "But, of course I love you and your brother more than anyone in this world & wouldn't trade you for anything!." As you can imagine this was hard to listen to & it's stuck with me. Well, it had to stick, because she didn't say this once, she said it at least a few times and the last was a year ago. She was determined for me to listen!

My story: I am now 50 yrs old and single. However, when I first started this journey, about 4 yrs ago, I was still married & in love. My husband at the time had two grown children, but wanted me to personally experience having a child of my own. He & I had a very precarious relationship...up one day & down the next. So, believe it or not, because of the not knowing from day to day if we were going to actually make it together, he encouraged me to look for a sperm donor & egg donor (my eggs were obviously too old).

About 4 yrs ago my cousin Shellei decided at the age of 48 that she finally wanted a child. After interviewing many local AZ fertility doctors asking for $20,000 each time she did a implant she decided to go with an out of state fertility clinic located in Fairfax Virginia, who was in the process of performing trials for frozen egg embryo implantation. This clinic was offering this trial to woman for the unbelievable price of $7,000. Again, as most of you are aware the average cost of this procedure is normally close to $20,000...each time you do it. Long story short, she now has a beautiful 3 yrs old girl from it. About that time I decided to try it out myself, as my cousin & I were the last in the family not to have a child & now it was just me left! I also had my husband at the time encouraging me...sending me texts each day from work like "Baby, Baby Baby!!". But, unfortunately the clinic in Virginia was no longer offering the same $7,000 fee, as the trial was now complete so they increased it to double - $14,000. I decided to search for a reputable clinic that would offer me something I could afford. I found a clinic offering the entire process of in vitro fertilization for a little over $10,000. + travel expenses. So, I traveled to the clinic after going through the entire process (shots...meds...choosing the perfect donors, both egg & sperm...shipping the sperm donor to the clinic...) and was ready to have the embryos cryopreserved & implanted. After waiting a week with my friend there for moral support, to my extreme disappointment the egg donor wasn't ready as her cycle was off. I ended up traveling back home with nothing & feeling very misled. The clinic promised me they would ship the embryos to a clinic of my choice here in AZ once they were ready. I didn't believe them. I thought I was swindled, scammed & everyone I knew told me I shouldn't do it to begin with. However, about 3 months later I received a phone call telling me my egg donor and sperm donor had finally produced two perfect grade A embryos!

Skipping ahead 3 yrs later the two embryos still sit cryopreserved (using the vitrification method, which is supposed to be the best) & waiting for me to finally use them. However, something I left out at the beginning of this is that I've suffered with Fibromyalgia for over 12 yrs. And, at the time I started this journey/process I believed & prayed that I would get better by now. I have only gotten worse...and older.

I am at a crossroad and have been for sometime now. On one hand I would love to take a leap of faith, using the embryos and hoping for the best outcome...that I (being a very Young 50 yrs young...most people think I'm in my young 30's...just the other day a client said he thought I was 28!) would have this baby and all the stories I've heard about Fibro symptoms dissipating during the pregnancy months (some however get worse..It's a huge gamble:*( ) would be true for me as well and my life would be complete once this baby is born. But, the problem remains that late at night and first thing in the morning I'm in major pain. Which is the biggest reason that my instincts keep telling me this will not be the joyful outcome I pray for each year.

So, here's where one of you come in...I would like to discuss the option of adopting these embryos to a loving home. Not only because I believe I went through all of this for a divine purpose. Which was not just to waste over $10,000 + $300 a yr in storage fees, only to have the embryos discarded or used for research in the end. But, to make someone very happy, even if that person can't be me. However, I'm not prepared to simply "donate" these embryos...which is why I've been stuck here in this same spot for 3 long years. I know there is a gray area on accepting reimbursement for embryos. But, honestly I think it's unjust that the many fertility doctors/clinics out there can charge this astronomical fee of over $20,000 to desperate families wanting so much to have a healthy baby that their willing to pay Anything, but when someone like myself decides they cannot go forward with this, they are now forced to simply give away - "donate" a gift of $10,000 or more to someone they've never even met before. There is no law stating that you cannot receive a reimbursement for the money you put into this venture, but it's simply "frowned upon" in the fertility world. And, why? So that the many fertility clinics can go on charging the $20,000 price tag for more embryos to be created. And, that's why we have a epidemic of thousands of embryo's just sitting there yr after yr wasting away.

If anyone out there wants to discuss these embryos further with me after ready my story, please contact me through this site & I will forward my direct # at that point. I have several adult pics of the egg donor (25 yrs old, absolutely beautiful girl 5'3 tall, 130 weight, with light brown eyes and curly hair...very healthy family background) & a child photo & audio interview of the sperm donor (25 yrs old; 6'1 tall, blonde, blue eyes, average weight/build...I have all the medical files saved on both donors, which goes into great detail on family medical background...the sperm donor I was told is a striking double of a young Brad Pitt..graduating with honors with an outstanding family & is willing to meet the child once they are 18 yrs of age). Again, these are 2 Grade A embryos.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story! Blessings to all of you...& keep the faith!

Heidi
Phoenix, AZ

KLake42 · December 2015

I suppose it's regional, but I haven't seen $20k quotes for donor embryos. There's a center in Tennessee that quotes just under $8k, not counting medication and travel (though you also pay for a home study, as with regular adoption). The $8k covers the adoption fees and the FET. It's the National Embryo Donation Center. I haven't used them, but they're a step down the line if IVF doesn't work, and reciprocal IVF with my wife also doesn't work.

cheetagirl · February 2016

*child mentioned*

I did embryo donation (I was the recipient of course) and the place I went through wasn't anywhere near that expensive. I think 5000, plus your testing, blood tests, ultrasounds, other medical tests Sono HSG for example.. so all in all about 10 thousand but that's after the medical stuff too. (plus fertility medication)

we transferred two embryos. they both took but we lost one early on (very early on) and we went on to have our lovely son 10 weeks ago. We're very happy with just him and are going to stop at just one child but after what we've been through we're so thankful to have him and we're very happy with just being a family of 3 . there are no more surviving embryos from his batch that we were matched with anyway, if there were it would be more tempting to try again. hope this helps.

asmith40 · February 2016

The clinic I went to charges about $5000.00 for embryo adoption. I live in Nashville, the clinic is called Nashville Fertility Clinic. They are amazing!

STBMrsMiller · March 2016

We worked with Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park, which is similar to Snowflakes. Great experience, even though the road has been long! Love the adoption aspect vs. an anonymous clinic donation.

peregrinefalconx · March 2016

STBMrsMiller I just wanted to say wow, that is some history and my most heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I wish you every blessing in this pregnancy.

STBMrsMiller · April 2016

peregrinefalconx said:

STBMrsMiller I just wanted to say wow, that is some history and my most heartfelt CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I wish you every blessing in this pregnancy.

Thank you! We're over the moon to have finally seen a positive test and are getting cautiously excited about baby

HeatherPolly · March 2017

Where did you have the FET and adopt the embryo? I'm looking in California and it's 15k and we just spent a small fortune on IVF.

aubs03 · July 2017

I'm in so. Cali and have been working with Dr. Anderson forever!!! We had our daughter thru him 5 years ago and now pregnant through an embryo we adopted from his clinic. It was around $4,000. We love his clinic although its a clinic and not a agency so we had to get on a wait list for 18 months. Best of luck

Embryo adoption - resources and reviews?

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