Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
babybakie
member
I feel alone- husband not communicating how I need.
babybakie
member
If he were to see this post headline it would be an argument because he feels he is being very supportive.
We just had an argument because I said I wanted to talk about how I feel. I started to talk calmly about how I missed having the baby inside me, he spoke of how there was nothing that could be done, that we would heal in time. I said yes, but continued to give details of what I am struggling with and tears started to form as I spoke. He started to look at his phone. I waited. He didn't say a word. I asked what he was looking at. It was nothing relevant or related. I told him, please, I need you right now, please look at me.
An argument began. He said he was listening, he was there. It elevated into how I can't about it without crying or that we have talked about it enough, that he just wants to move on, that all he has been doing is being there for me. I only miscarried this passed Monday. Today is Wednesday.
Anyone else have this type of problem? I feel so alone.
We just had an argument because I said I wanted to talk about how I feel. I started to talk calmly about how I missed having the baby inside me, he spoke of how there was nothing that could be done, that we would heal in time. I said yes, but continued to give details of what I am struggling with and tears started to form as I spoke. He started to look at his phone. I waited. He didn't say a word. I asked what he was looking at. It was nothing relevant or related. I told him, please, I need you right now, please look at me.
An argument began. He said he was listening, he was there. It elevated into how I can't about it without crying or that we have talked about it enough, that he just wants to move on, that all he has been doing is being there for me. I only miscarried this passed Monday. Today is Wednesday.
Anyone else have this type of problem? I feel so alone.
Re: I feel alone- husband not communicating how I need.
I'm sorry your husband is or communicating well with you. He likely is hurting too and the only way he knows to deal with it is to push forward. That doesn't mean it's right, it's just people respond in different ways to loss. Try letting him know you need to talk about it to move forward. My husband does this some too, he talks about how we will get through this when I am still feeling in it.
It has really helped me to tell my mom and sister what is going on. My sister lets me talk about it if I need to and mostly doesn't try to minimize it or fix it. (I find that everyone I tell has to tell me several successful pregnancy after loss stories but that doesn't bother me as much as it bothers others). Is there anyone you are close with who might be able to help support you? I don't think your husband is being malicious but I understand why that is hard.
Also feel free to send me a message anytime and share your feelings. You need time to grieve and like you, sharing is part of my grieving process.