PGAL / PAIF Weekly Check-In 7/18-7/24/17

NYTino24 · July 2017

This thread is for women who are pregnant after a loss and who have a history of loss or for women who have struggled with infertility and are now pregnant.

This thread is one huge trigger warning so if you just came to read, please protect yourself if you are not comfortable reading about loss. This is a place where women can talk freely about their loss history.

*****PLEASE DO NOT post losses here. Start a new thread. *****

Hey PGAL / PAIF ladies, "Today you are pregnant!"

1. How far along are you today?

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?

4. How is your SO handling everything?

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?

Abby7 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today? 23w3d Thanks for making me figure this out, I've been so lackadaisical about keeping track of this.

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. Since I'm new here, I'll share my Cliff Notes.

started TTC June 2010
BFP 8/20/10, EDD 5/2/11, lost baby 10 weeks October 2010
hysteroscopy 12/10 to repair septate uterus, then TTC again starting 1/11
BFP 7/14/11, EDD 3/26/12, DD born 3/23/12
NTNP/TTC starting 5/12, 4 1/2 years of BFNs
BFP 9/12/16, EDD 5/24/17, lost baby 10 weeks (AGAIN) October 2016
cycles resumed December 2016, began fertility workup January 2017, told to TTA until another hysteroscopy could be done March 2017 to check my uterus
SURPRISE BFP 3/5/17, EDD 11/12/17 (admit we did not TTA as told to, but I figured with all the years of IF there was little to no chance of a pregnancy in the two months in question). Crinone until 12 weeks. Wondering if that was the magic that has made baby boy stick so far?

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? This pregnancy is a lot harder than with DD. I am much bigger in the abdomen and my belly is already achy and I think having contractions. Swelling started as soon as the weather got hot, where with her all of my second and third trimester were in the fall/winter.

4. How is your SO handling everything? He is freaking out about money (another 4 years of full time daycare when DD is about to start (free!) public school). He also didn't care so much about having a second one since he's an only child. However, he is still super sweet to me, and supportive.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF? I'm not sure if this will help but...after all those years of not getting pregnant, I got pregnant very soon after my second m/c (3 cycles) - and the only thing that I was doing differently was I was on a Whole 30 (and that only because my neighbors were doing it). Again, not sure if this diet helped, but it seems like it might have. Also, get on progesterone if you have had a later m/c in the past where you had seen healthy development. I had seen both of my m/c babies at 9w5d on ultrasound and they were looking great and pathology found nothing wrong with either of them, so I know it was an issue with my body and not with the babies. Not sure if the progesterone saved my first tri here but it very well could have. My doctor with my third pg said there's no proof progesterone supplements do anything and refused to put me on them even though my reading was only 12. I can't go back and re-do the past but I always wonder if that could have changed the outcome.

NYTino24 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today? 22w3d

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
NMC at 7w6d in Jan. Baby measured almost 2 weeks behind

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? Doing okay, but starting to feel anxious about my August EDD coming up. I would have had my baby in 5 weeks. DH agreed we can go on a mini vacation to escape the world at that time, and also to celebrate our anniversary since it's almost a month before.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
I just realized that he may have an even harder time than me with the angel baby's EDD since that baby was due 6 days before his birthday and he already doesn't like celebrating it since he lost a friend in Iraq on that day. We have talked about a few places, but haven't booked it yet. He is able to really focus on this baby, though.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?
Don't blame yourself and don't hide it. Grief shared is grief divided. My friends and coworkers don't say hurtful things unintentionally because they think before speaking now that they know. Once you get pregnant with a take home baby, it will be even more special and the love will be multiplied.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@Abby7 You got your BFP on my birthday, and a day before I got mine! I am so sorry you have struggled so much, but hope you find lots of support here. So happy your rainbow baby is on the way!

Abby7 · July 2017

@NYTino24, it was a good time for BFPs I guess! Glad you are having your rainbow as well. Once baby boy/girl is here, the struggles will all be worth it. I know for me this will be my last though. I cannot handle any more personal stress and worry that even a healthy pregnancy could bring, because I will always be at least slightly afraid. Also, I'm 39, and this seems like a good time to stop.

misschanandlerbong15 · July 2017

@abby7 so sorry for all you have been through in your journey but so happy that your rainbow baby is on the way!

@NYTino24 thinking of you as your EDD nears. I hope you and your husband can find comfort in yourself during this time

1. How far along are you today? 24+5

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.MC at 6.5 weeks Oct 2016

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? feeling pretty good today. Baby is moving a lot and I keep finding myself just staring at my belly lol I've been so focused on reaching different milestones and counting how much time had passed that I wasn't really paying attention to how time is running out to get things ready. Am I the only one?!

4. How is your SO handling everything? hes amazing as always. Finally got him back to work on projects around the house so maybe we can start setting up baby's room soon

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF? allow yourself time to grieve, process and deal with all the emotions that come from a loss. Don't blame yourself for your loss and don't pressure yourself when you start TTC again

angbaby83 · July 2017

@mparm91 you definitely aren't the only one. Sometimes it feels like there is so much time and other times I'm like crap I have so much still to do and not much time.

1. How far along are you today? 21w 5 d

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. CP/early loss 4/16 and mmc 11/16 at 12 weeks.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? I mentioned in another thread that I'm struggling with some depression. I have a history of this so I know what I need to do it just sucks because I want to enjoy this pregnancy. My success is that my PGAL brain is calming down a little so I'll take it. I have gotten a ton of baby stuff from my brother and I am getting more excited which is taking the place of anxiety.

4. How is your SO handling everything? He is great. He has been so supportive of me and my struggles. He is getting more excited. I think he is worrying a little about finances as we have had a lot of unexpected expenses lately but he handles that stress a lot better than me.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF? Be kind to yourself. I know that sounds so simple but when I was struggling it helped. Do something just for yourself that has nothing to do with ttc or losses or cycle tracking. Also be patient with yourself and allow yourself space to feel all the feelings.

misschanandlerbong15 · July 2017

@angkay711 sometimes I'm looks, it's ok, November is still a ways away, then I think but really it's only 15 weeks left and what if for see reason baby comes a little bit early then I really have even less time to get my act together!

kyethra · July 2017

1. How far along are you today? 22+5

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. No losses, just infertility. Our first was conceived unexpectedly at age 28, after 5 failed IUIs right before we started ivf. It was unexplained infertility then, but at age 31 ttc #2 we tested my amh and found out I have severely diminished ovarian reserve, ivf didn't work for me. So we went with donor eggs.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? Tired, sinus headaches but ok. This is definitely easier than my 1st and my bp is great so far!

4. How is your SO handling everything? Ok. Honestly he seems to keep forgetting I am pregnant and high risk no less and is not getting stuff done around the house, which is driving me insane. We need to get a bathroom reno done and that means he needs to haul ass while I can still work on tiling and things. And then he wanted to go to a conference two weeks after my due date!

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF? Decide what steps you are willing to take and how far you want to go. I went into ivf knowing I might need donor eggs and after it was time to move on, that made it easy.

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

angkay711 +1 to being kind to yourself

kyethra Sinus headaches are awful, hopefully they go awway soon!

NYTino24 Hugs on the August EDD! I was due the day before our wedding anniversary in August and though I didn't have long to connect, I was definitely looking forward to celebrating both.

1. How far along are you today? 21w6d

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing. CP in December 2016

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Physically, I feel fine other than my right foot swelling a lot. Anxiety wise, it ebbs and flows. I felt a little movement last week and nothing really this week. For how far along I am, compared to everyone else, I don't understand why I don't feel anything. I get that the anterior placenta will delay feeling kicks, but I don't even have the quickening feeling.

4. How is your SO handling everything? He is doing well and is in full on nesting mode. When I tell him my concern about not feeling movement, he just says "the doctor said it could take a while." Which isn't super helpful.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?
Stay off google and searching when you have anxiety. Nothing good will come from it. However, talk about your concerns and anxiety because bottling it up and hold it in will not accomplish anything.

NYTino24 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 Don't be too hard on yourself with the movement. I feel more than most because of the breech position he is in, and even then I'd say I usually only feel about 5 kicks a day. Sometimes I'm just uncomfortable from the pressure of him pushing on me and that's how I know he's moving.

missrekaeagle · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?
21 weeks or 20 weeks 5 days depending on the facility

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
MC @ 6 weeks 11/2015

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
I've been thinking about my anatomy scan a lot because the ultrasound tech and doctor were the same ones I saw when going through my miscarriage. My husband is the person who initially pointed it out, and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. It's bittersweet, to say the least. Other than reconciling that in my mind, I'm exhausted. I'm happy that the baby moves around enough for others to feel outside kicks now. My 6yo DD loves talking to her baby brother and feeling him wiggle.

4. How is your SO handling everything?
He's always very calm about the pregnancy, but I can tell he's starting to get excited.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?
If you're TTCAL, please practice self-care to make sure you're in a good mental headspace. It's a stressful process and sometimes it's hard to find support from people who have had similar struggles in real life. A support group for women who had suffered pregnancy and infant loss in an adjacent town really helped me a lot. If I hadn't found the support group, I would have sought therapy from a licensed clinician with experience working with women who had experienced such losses.

CrunchyMidwife · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?

24 weeks +2
2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.

MC @ 8 weeks 2015, MC @ 11 weeks 2016
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?

I'm feeling pretty good. Little dude is moving a TON and I love feeling him higher and higher up! I had a doctors appointment on the 13th and was told I'm a carrier for a genetic disorder so that was super tough. His Dad needs to come in for blood work to see if he is also a carrier because then the chances of DS having an inherited metabolic disorder goes from 0% to 25%.So I'm trying to stay positive because nothing definitive has happened yet.
4. How is your SO handling everything?

He's not my SO but he's handling it well. He wasn't sure if he could do the whole "Dad" thing but now he's super excited to have our little dude here so he can be the best Dad he can be.
5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

@NYTino24 She has been in breech position as well for the past two scans and I feel pressure on my lower abdomen often, so I think it's her, but I really want to feel those kicks! But trying to just be patient....

NYTino24 · July 2017

@dragonfly87-2 My little guy is folded up like this, making him more concentrated in one area. (Do yourself a favor and do NOT Google "frank breech".)

Plus, they sleep 12-14 hours a day at this point. You'll feel more soon!

MKMandeville · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?

24+1

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.

- early miscarriage /CP @4+2 August 2016
- ectopic pregnancy confirmed via blood work and ultrasound between 5-6 weeks September 2016

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?

Overall pretty good. She is growing so much lately she is running out of room already so every little movement is intense. I can see her arms shift positions and everything. Where it is super cool to see and is kind of reassuring it is also really uncomfortable because I cannot sit or lay down in certain positions without her getting mad.

4. How is your SO handling everything?

Fairly well. My appointment on Thursday is the first one he hasn't been able to come to in three months since he started a new job and I think he is kind of having a hard time with it. Not because he is worried that things are wrong but he likes the reassurance of the doppler just as much as I do.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?

This one is tough.

Join a support group, know the signs of depression and seek help if you need it, take up a new hobby.

jkeeney2017 · July 2017

1. How far along are you today?
22Weeks 2 days

2. Share any part of your history you feel comfortable sharing.
TTC for 2 years. Finally got our BFP March 16 and were due Nov 19. Clomid, provera, metformin, 50,000 unit of Vitamin D, and OPKs finally done the trick. I have PCOS.

3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
The second trimester has been really good. While I'm so relieved and thankful to have made it this far I still struggle with the fear of something happening to out sweet girl. It took so long to get here and I don't think it will be really real until she's here and I know she's safe. We have never had a MC so I'm not sure why I struggle so much with thinking the worst could happen.
4. How is your SO handling everything?
Wonderfully. He's so excited to be a dad. After a motorcycle accident that left him on life support for 42 days, and caused him THREE strokes that took away the use of his right arm and hand he realizes how sweet and precious life is. He is going to be an amazing dad.

5. GTKY: What advice do you have for lurkers who are TTCAL / TTCAIF?
Oh goodness. I think the best advice I can give is to pray, pray, and pray some more. The worst advice people use to give me were to quit stressing and that it will happen when it's suppose too. I guess no one knows how hard that is unless you have went for months and months hoping it was your month only to stare down at another negative test. It's a heartbreaking, stressful, and draining experience. But when it happens it's SO worth it and all of those feelings fade away.

angbaby83 · July 2017

@jkeeney2017 it sounds like you have been through a lot. So excited that things are going well but totally understand you still have anxiety. Hopefully you are still able to enjoy the pregnancy despite that. Sometimes when I struggle with thoughts of things going wrong I try to force myself to also think of the positive outcomes and visualize those happening. It doesnt always work but it helps.

lala123321567789 · July 2017

@NYTino24 Hugs

EDDs are hard, and for me it was a big mix of confusing and difficult emotions being pregnant again on my EDD. Surprisingly the day itself was okay, but the two weeks leading up to it were hard, I cried a lot and was super emotional/got upset about silly tiny things. Whatever emotions you do have, it's okay and it's normal. PGAL is so precious but also so hard, especially mentally. I'll be thinking of you, especially as your EDD draws near.

dragonfly87-2 · July 2017

@NYTino24 that is quite the position to be curled up in. It's amazing what babies do in the womb.

JDW0325 · July 2017

@NYTino24
big hugs on your approaching due date!! Mine was during my egg retrieval for IVF. It's such a hard and emotional time. So thankful we both will have our rainbow babies soon!

@MKMandeville
i def agree with support groups! It helps to talk with others in similar situations!

@Abby7
what a journey you have had. So glad you are with us!

NYTino24 · July 2017

@jkeeney2017 You and YH have been through a lot! I hope that this baby helps heal your hearts.
@dragonfly87-2 I really hope he stops liking the position because it can cause some serious leg issues after birth! Unfortunately I can tell he's still in it two weeks after our scan.

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PGAL / PAIF Weekly Check-In 7/18-7/24/17

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