Labor choices already

mommaSG · July 2017

I know its a bit early but does anyone have plans on how they will deliver their LO?

The reason i ask is because with my DS 8 years ago i went into it knowing i would need a c-section. My ob didnt listen to me but i know my body. My blood vessles are thin in my brain so when it rushes such as in pain i sometimes pass out. It is also a defense mechanism my body does to protect itself. I tried to tough it out with my son because my exs family stressed about the bond it forms. I was induced at 9pm on a monday and had 2 failed epidurals becuase i also have scoliosis. I was then 8 cm with no ep when my tailbone poped out of place and went straight down to 5cm and mine and DS heart rate droped severly. They ended up doing an emergency c-section at 7pm tuesday. So i am asked all the time if i would try normal agai. Or go straight for the c section and honestly DH and i both agree to the csection. I dont want to risk mine or LOs health plus i know its tmi but stitches in my crotch scares me. When i tell this to ppl i get the but you wont bind with ur kid and get shammed on the thought but my son and i are inseparable and my bond is just as strong as any other

BelhurstBride · July 2017

Honestly, this sounds like a conversation you need to have with your doctor.

mommaSG · July 2017

@BelhurstBride i mainly just needed to vent but also wanted to know if anyone else os having this concern about obs already aski g you to plan the birth

soulcupcake · July 2017

If it were in the budget, I'd like to plan another homebirth (planned homebirths with my last three), but it's just not in the cards this time. We're looking into hiring my midwife with dd3 to be my monitrice or look into hiring a doula. I'd plan another low intervention med-free birth. I will be induced at 39 weeks, which is important because I have practically non-existent labors and need to be in a controlled environment with immediate access to pitocin upon birth due to increased risk of repeat PPH. I'll likely work with my last midwife on prepping my body for labor (membrane sweep, if it's needed) and other methods to help get things going. We'll still have to prepare for unplanned UC as I did with my last three.

mommaSG · July 2017

soulcupcake said:

If it were in the budget, I'd like to plan another homebirth (planned homebirths with my last three), but it's just not in the cards this time. We're looking into hiring my midwife with dd3 to be my monitrice or look into hiring a doula. I'd plan another low intervention med-free birth. I will be induced at 39 weeks, which is important because I have practically non-existent labors and need to be in a controlled environment with immediate access to pitocin upon birth due to increased risk of repeat PPH. I'll likely work with my last midwife on prepping my body for labor (membrane sweep, if it's needed) and other methods to help get things going. We'll still have to prepare for unplanned UC as I did with my last three.

How was the homebirth. I originally looked into them 8 yrs ago with DS. BUt opted out i love hearing other experiences so that i cam try to look at alternatives

BelhurstBride · July 2017

I think it's relatively normal to think about the delivery early on. I mean, it's obviously going to happen, and for some, require a lot of planning. Considering a VBAC can take some planning, not all doctors and not all hospitals allow them.

My preference is another med free vaginal.

FWIW, inductions are generally more painful than natural labor. Also, my SIL had two sections. She gave up any hope of a third child after her second surgery. She said the recovery was significantly worse the second time and she'd only have another kid if they could figure out another way to get them out.

msunshine123 · July 2017

Most doctors will ask at your first appointment possible plan.
For my 1st I delivered naturally no drugs or intervention

***TW but my son died due to a cord accident they believe occurred when my labor started End TW***

My DD was a scheduled c section and this LO will be too. As a mother who lost a child I'd say do whatever method keeps you and your LO safe and works for you.

selahluna · July 2017

@msunshine123- my heart goes out to you for your loss. Thank you for your story and reminding us all that birth is beautiful whether it is a section or natural. Doing what is right for you is what makes freedom of choice so beautiful.

LadyMillil · July 2017

I want to deliver at the birth centre with a midwife but IVF patients don't qualify for midwife care here so I'm just hoping I get an OB that understands I really want one part of this process to be less " medicalized", as long as it's safe for both me and baby.

winnie1122 · July 2017

Planning another vaginal birth in the hospital with an epidural. Hoping to avoid induction this time though, that was a long and unpleasant process (worth it but ughhh). My mom had to be induced every time and my pregnancy/delivery experience was pretty similar to hers with DS so I'm mentally preparing for another induction if necessary. But I would be so excited if I went into labor on my own this time!

julievdm12 · July 2017

We are moving so I won't be taken into my midwifes care until 17 weeks but once I meet with her I will discuss what she recommends we do to try and ensure I make it to the hospital in time.
I had my son this past April at 41+1. I had been 4cm dilated and they were concerned about how fast I would go. They decided since I was over 41 weeks, to break my water and hope that it jump started labour.
I went in and they broke my water. Just over an hour after I started to have really strong contractions and 45 mins after the contractions ramped up he was out.....
sooooo, no judgement on anyone who is planning a home birth, but I really would rather deliver in hospital and I'm very much hoping to either have a repeat successful induction via breaking of waters or to make it to the hospital in time.... I will also ask for an emergency kit to have at home, just in case. :S

soulcupcake · July 2017

@mommaSG - I planned a homebirth with #3, but ended up being induced at the hospital. My last two were born at home. With ds2, it was a non-existent labor. He basically just shot out. I had just gotten off the phone with my mom two minutes before his birth. I told her before ending the call that we'd call her once labor started.

Dd3's birth was less chaotic, but still a big surprise to us all because I had no clue anything was happening until maybe 5-6 minutes before her birth, when my midwife checked me and said I was 8 cm and her head was hanging in the birth canal. Surprise! I felt pretty normal, and was not at all convinced anything was going on. The only constant feeling of slight discomfort was lower back pain and pelvic floor pressure that started a couple weeks before. The contractions I did feel were irregular and not strong enough to really count as labor. They were just like the ones I had the week before that fizzled out.

With both I had been 5 cm and 70/80% effaced, etc., for a week, so that was a contributing factor (for all of my births).

Megzb510 · July 2017

I had 2 LEEPs when I was younger and I never progressed past a 2 when I was induced with my son, so my son was born Csection. My OB said I likely had scar tissue that prevented my cervix from normal dilation, and that I would not be a good candidate for a VBAC. So I will be a planned c section this time around.

kahlya88 · July 2017

I discussed this with my OB prior to even ttc. Last delivery didn't go so well, I had placental abruption that went unnoticed. We've discussed this together and opted for a planned csection 1 week before edd. If labour progresses on its own prior to this, we're going to let nature take its course. Personally, I wouldn't mind not having to deal
with labour again.
I think talking to your SO, as well as medical professional would be the best method to determine what concerns you have, and how to make this as stress free as possible.

chucksmom15 · July 2017

My OB asked at my 8 week appointment. I told him right now I know I want an epidural and I want him to get the baby delivered the safest way possible. He said that was enough of a birth plan for now. If I change my mind after doing research he would update my chart. You don't have to have anything set it stone yet! You are allowed to change your mind if you want.

the_other_mother · July 2017

My plan with DD went out the window. It was supposed to be a med free birth center birth, but I had to be induced so we went to regular L&D. I was still able to go without the epidural, but the amount of pitocin I was on made it really hard and fast. I'm crossing my fingers that I can have a better experience this time. I'll try for the birth center again (inside a hospital) as long as I don't have to be induced. I wasn't planning a water birth, but hydrotherapy was a lifesaver with my first labor so I'll definitely be utilizing that again.

winnie1122 · July 2017

I will say, and hopefully I'm not stepping on any toes, but careful not to get too attached to your birth plan. I feel like on my last BMB the birth announcement thread had a lot of people who were disappointed and even traumatized by the way their births went because it was not what they had envisioned, especially if they went in with high expectations of it going a certain way. Not that it's bad to have a plan and be excited about it, but I just felt bad for the ones who seemed heartbroken by it not going the way they had pictured. It seemed to really dampen their overall experience with birth, but maybe it was just the way they wrote about it. Mine didn't go as planned and I would love if I could have fewer interventions this time simply because it was uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like it ruined my experience by any means. Being prepared is one thing, but be prepared for a few possibilities?

the_other_mother · July 2017

@winnie1122 it probably didn't help that all those ladies were hopped up on PP hormones when they wrote their birth stories. I know my mind changed and calmed down about the way my birth went within the months that passed afterward.

SquirrelsRWatching · July 2017

winnie1122 said:

I will say, and hopefully I'm not stepping on any toes, but careful not to get too attached to your birth plan. I feel like on my last BMB the birth announcement thread had a lot of people who were disappointed and even traumatized by the way their births went because it was not what they had envisioned, especially if they went in with high expectations of it going a certain way. Not that it's bad to have a plan and be excited about it, but I just felt bad for the ones who seemed heartbroken by it not going the way they had pictured. It seemed to really dampen their overall experience with birth, but maybe it was just the way they wrote about it. Mine didn't go as planned and I would love if I could have fewer interventions this time simply because it was uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like it ruined my experience by any means. Being prepared is one thing, but be prepared for a few possibilities?

Absolutely this! I wanted a med free birth....no intervention. Although I went into labor and got to a 5 or 6 on my own, that's where I stopped. My water was ruptured, I was given pitocin, and after 14 hours of labor I opted for the epidural. My son was born 17 hours (31 hours total) later by emergency c-section when I stalled out at 9cm and ds's heart rate wasn't recovering well. I'm going for a vbac this time around and back to my original plan, but you have to be flexible especially if it's your first time.

clc515 · July 2017

@the_other_mother whats the difference between a birthing center in a hospital, and a hospital?

We have a birthing inn that i assumed was where all moms go, but now that you put it like that im not sure. Hadnt really talked about birth plns with doc yet, so can ask when i see him next too.

sabriel1 · July 2017

@clc515 At our hospital the birthing center is a special area that is looked after by the midwives. The birthing room is different and more of an "at home" feel. The medical equipment is kind of hidden away and they have many more options for laboring than the birthing rooms in the hospital do (a tub, birthing stool, double bed instead of a hospital bed, etc). They can not offer any interventions there though like pain relief so if you want/need some intervention they can transfer you to the other birthing rooms in the main hospital.

the_other_mother · July 2017

@clc515 they are like birthing suites with a more "homelike" atmosphere. Regular queen sized beds, huge jacuzzi tubs, and they use a lot of the decor to kind of hide the more medical looking things so you don't feel like your in a hospital room. They don't offer any interventions. No IVs, and only intermittent monitoring. If you decide you need an epidural you have to actual transfer to L&D. You get one nurse that is "your nurse" the entire time. (I guess until shift change.) You can have as many people as you want in the room. You also don't have to transfer to a different maternity/recovery room afterward, you just stay there. (Unless they are full and another mother in labor comes in needing it.) To me it was ideal because you were actually in the hospital on the same floor as the L&D and NICU if there were any complications, but you still get the calm, birthing center atmosphere.

EmmyMommy123 · July 2017

@the_other_mother that sounds so lovely! I'll be discussing with my midwives some options at my first appointment. Where I live the options are home, hospital, or birth centre (all with midwives, only hospital with OBs), but the birth centre is a completely different location than the hospitals. With my last birth I wanted to deliver at the hospital but labour at home as long as possible, since I wanted an intervention-free birth but didn't have anyone in my life who had anything less than a traumatic first birth! Labour was so fast at the beginning that the midwives prepared for a home birth, but I was ready to go to the hospital at a time that things slowed a bit. At the hospital I had a normal room but only my midwives were with me (no nurses or OBs), until they found my son was stuck and I was no longer dilating after many hours of intensifying and back to back contractions with the urge to push. My care had to be transferred to the hospital for an epidural to stop the pushing and then pitocin to progress labour, and then forceps when he still was stuck. If that is all a strong possibility of happening again, I don't know what the point of the birth centre would be if I'm just going to be transferred again! Going from home to hospital was one of the worst parts and I don't know that I could cope with transferring from home to birth centre only to then be transferred to hospital if I need intervention again. At least last time I was where I needed to be already for the interventions. At the same time, the birth centre is soooooo nice that it'd be a shame to miss out on it if this labour and delivery ends up not requiring intervention.

EmmyMommy123 · July 2017

@msunshine123 I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the reminder that however we end up birthing, the safety of us and our sweet babes are truly all that matters.

@winnie1122 agreed. I couldn't fully grasp this last time, no matter what anyone told me, and it took me a very long time to accept that what didn't go my way wasn't anyone's "fault", especially not my own! I'm hoping this time around I can accept that well in advance and go more with the flow. It's great to be informed and have a plan so that your preferences are shared, but beyond that, I'd almost say write your birth plan, share it with your support partners so they can advocate for you, and then throw it out the window.

marissajc · July 2017

Labor freaks me out a little for this one. With my first, my water broke at 11:30 pm and she was born at 2:20 am. 20 minutes of pushing, no epidural, but I did use nitrous oxide which took the edge off and helped me focus. I hope this one does not come more quickly, but also hoping for a natural labor again

noodles15 · July 2017

I have been induced with my 3 kids. My inductions have went well and I was always already 3-4 cm at the start of the induction which certainly helps. We live about an hour from the hospital and unfortunately really don't have anyone besides my 74 year old MIL to watch our kids during labor so chances are I will schedule it again. I would like to let it happen naturally and understand that induction is a risk but unfortunately our options are pretty limited.

jaguirre227 · July 2017

Had epidural then went the natural route in birthing center and will be doing the epidural this time. The needle in the back freaked me OUT which was the reason for natural with my last baby. Never had c-section and praying I won't need one because THOSE scare me. Who knows though, I might change my mind and opt for no epidural again, although it REALLY freaking hurts FOR REAL. I just want to be the one making the choice, not a frustrated or impatient nurse or doctor. ..unless completely medically necessary. ...

georgiagirl3050 · July 2017

I fee like I'm in the minority here... never had any desire for a med-free birth. I'm a physician, so I guess I have a lot of faith in the medical profession, and I feel that interventions are just things we've learned over time to make the process easier and safer. I've had two vaginal deliveries with epidurals and will hopefully have the same again. Both were lovely, had no pain, pushed for <10 minutes each time, babies latched on immediately, no problems whatsoever. Maybe I've just been lucky but I don't feel like I missed out on anything by avoiding unnecessary pain...

magnolia305 · July 2017

I never had any desire to have med-free birth, either. I had a crappy labor nurse (told me she was horrible at putting IV's in, was a nervous wreck, and didn't seem confident in anything she did)--she was eventually asked to leave and I got a different nurse. Because of that nurse, my epidural took longer than expected and I didn't get it when I wanted it--BUT, I still plan on getting an epidural again. I just know to be more vocal and advocate for myself. That nurse was the ONLY bad thing about my delivery or my stay at the hospital. Everyone else was amazing.

With my previous pregnancy, my doctor didn't ask what my "plan" was, until I was in the 30+ weeks. She did ask me at my first appointment which hospital I planned to deliver at (she can deliver at 3).

SunflowerMama428 · July 2017

My first I went natural for 19hrs. The hospital wouldn't let me out of bed because my blood pressure spiked. I had no health complications during my pregnancy at all and was a good candidate for a natural labor. You just can't predict stuff. I missed out on the first few hours of DS life because I was so exhausted by the time we called the c section I passed the hell out after getting pain relief. This time planned c section. I want to enjoy my baby this time and not miss a thing. I thought about a vbac but honestly the risk of going through the same thing just isn't worth it to me.

jessilee15 · July 2017

georgiagirl3050 said:

I fee like I'm in the minority here... never had any desire for a med-free birth. I'm a physician, so I guess I have a lot of faith in the medical profession, and I feel that interventions are just things we've learned over time to make the process easier and safer. I've had two vaginal deliveries with epidurals and will hopefully have the same again. Both were lovely, had no pain, pushed for <10 minutes each time, babies latched on immediately, no problems whatsoever. Maybe I've just been lucky but I don't feel like I missed out on anything by avoiding unnecessary pain...

I'm a physician too; I felt the same way about the epidural! Yes I could handle the pain, but I saw no reason to. Might have helped if I could move around more, but I vbac'ed my second time and had to stay on the monitor, which was pretty uncomfortable after a few hours

the_other_mother · July 2017

@georgiagirl3050 I totally understand when people don't want to go the med free route, and even though I'm a fan of modern medical advances I understand that there aren't many benefits that don't also come with risks. Obviously we all weigh benefit vs risk throughout our pregnancies, labors, and in making decisions for our children. I'm sure you didn't mean it but to me when you say "unnecessary pain" it feels like a bit of a jab towards those who choose to endure the pain. I'm not sure why anyone would choose med free if we thought it was completely unnecessary.

babymakes9 · July 2017

Hmm, No one has ever asked me what my labor plan was in all 7 of my pregnancies so far, and they were at different hospitals at different parts of the country. I have been induced twice (1 week early each time) at Doctors orders due to fear the baby was going to be to large (both were 8lbs. my largest was 9lbs. 14 oz.) and had no other interventions besides the breaking of the waters for one of those and pictocin for the other. The other 3 living births I have had were all natural no epidural births. I do have a question though my current providers nurse told me at my last visit that I need to rotate through all the staffs drs. for appointments as whom ever is on call will deliver me. I really like my Dr. but don't like the idea of not seeing the same person at all visits (I understand if he is on a delivery another dr. would fill in for the appt.) and I do understand that if I deliver after hours the Dr. on call will deliver me (which doesn't bother me as the only time My Dr. was present was on the induces labors. Is this standard practice now?

Mgaulrapp · July 2017

I will be induced at 39 weeks as I was with my last pregnancy. My labors are fast (my second birth was 20 minutes long--barely made it to the hospital.) My induced labor was 45 mins from timeable contractions to baby in my arms. This is obviously unless baby has other plans, but this is MY current plan! I usually dont have time for pain meds although I ask for them LOL I will hopefully go home within 24 hours as well.

Whatever else happens, I will go with the flow. No birth plan, no expectations, I do whatever I need to do to get my baby here safely.

soulcupcake · July 2017

the_other_mother said:

@georgiagirl3050 I totally understand when people don't want to go the med free route, and even though I'm a fan of modern medical advances I understand that there aren't many benefits that don't also come with risks. Obviously we all weigh benefit vs risk throughout our pregnancies, labors, and in making decisions for our children. I'm sure you didn't mean it but to me when you say "unnecessary pain" it feels like a bit of a jab towards those who choose to endure the pain. I'm not sure why anyone would choose med free if we thought it was completely unnecessary.

I get you. And as we're all aware, every experience is different. Opting for med-free isn't necessarily opting for pain. It's not an exercise in masochism. If one goes in weighing the risk–benefit analysis of routine practices and decides against them, it isn't "pain" they're choosing, they're opting for less interventions that are statistically shown to increase the risks of complications or further interventions. While AROM may just be "breaking waters" to some, and is one of the most widely performed interventions, it also has its own set of risks. It *could* start labor, but if one's body/baby is not ready, and they have a less than stellar Bishop's score, and their baby isn't in the optimal position to facilitate the progression of active labor (low in the pelvis and LOA or OA), then it could lead to "failure to progress" where no amount of pitocin is going to get baby in a favorable position, especially without ambulation. Movement plays a crucial part in the baby's descent. AROM also opens the door for infection with each VE. Those are risks. Even something as simply as AROM. Assessing these routine practices and weighing them against one's own situation is part of the process of risk-benefit analysis.

I have nothing against pain meds. It's a good thing multiple options exist. Each individual simply has to decide for themselves their own pain tolerance and the interventions they're comfortable with. For many who opt for low intervention births, it isn't usually even about the pain or meds, and there are various techniques and methods to assist in a med-free birth (hydrotherapy, Hypnobabies, courses I took during my second pregnancy as a "just in case" I didn't get lucky the second time).

georgiagirl3050 · July 2017

@the_other_mother I'm sorry if you were offended by the term "unnecessary", but that's how I feel about it. I feel that if I can have a pain-free labor and still end up with a healthy baby, why should I choose otherwise? The only intervention I had with my second baby was the epidural, otherwise I had a "low intervention" birth, my water broke on its own, and I don't feel that I did anything to increase the risk to myself or my baby

mamab92 · July 2017

If everything goes according to how I want it, we'll have a hospital birth, epidural, and deliver vaginally.

Of course this isn't guaranteed and I'm willing to do whatever is in our best interest if necessary. My first two births were done like this (except I was induced with my second), so I'm hoping the third will as well.

BelhurstBride · July 2017

@soulcupcake, it's like you stole the words out of my mouth.

I went into my first birthing experience planning on an epi. Turns out, it was a pretty poor choice for DD1 and I. It made me terribly sick, DD1 didn't respond well, either. We narrowly escaped a c/s and ended up with a vaginal vacuum. I now choose to avoid the epi at all costs.

We have two close friends who ended up leaking spinal fluid post epi.

So while I'm glad it worked out so well for you, @georgiagirl3050, it just isn't that simple for many, and many choose to avoid not because they want to experience "unnecessary pain" but because they'd rather avoid unnecessary risks.

Starynightsky24 · July 2017

We barely made it to the hospital with DS. He was born less than 45 minutes after we arrived. No time for an epidural.

I planned a similar birth for DD but she chose to take her sweet time. She ended up being born sunny side up which is likely way. I got to the hospital around 8pm at 4cm. When they checked my at 12am and I was only a 5 I said screw this and got an epidural.

It was aweful! It caused my blood pressure to drop dramatically. And I was repeatedly passing out from it.

I am am absolutely not doing the epidural again

sabriel1 · July 2017

@soulcupcake that was excellent. I'm not trying to be a martyr by not getting the epidural. There are tons of different things going through my mind when making that decision one of which being the small risks associated with the to epi. I personally know several people who ended up with sections because they were induced too early and then got an epi too soon. I also have two friends with reoccurring spinal headaches for years since. My point is I'm not judging people who get one but it is not free of risk and people who go med free have likely determined that for them personally the risks out with the rewards

Another thing I personally consider is that we only have a small hospital here and so if you go into labor during the day you likely won't be able to get one because the anesthesiologist will be in surgery. I've given birth with and without meds (planned and unplanned med free) and I will tell you my worst experience was the one where it was med free but not by choice because there was no one to give me the epi. Having to go med free and not being prepared for that emotionally was horrible.

rainafire77 · July 2017

I was considering a VBAC but on Wednesday my doctor felt my stomach and said he could feel the scar tissue buildup from my c-section 15 years ago and the size of the incision made him nervous. He strongly recommended a repeat c-section unless I was dead set on a VBAC. I'm good to have a repeat c-section and get my tubes either tied or removed at the same time.

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