Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL Check-in Week of 6/26

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Re: TTCAL Check-in Week of 6/26

  • @mdfarmchick, I'm sorry if I made you feel alone by my comment. That was not my intention, and this community really is about helping each other out. I saw that you had TW for part of your post, but then there was an end TW, and outside of that a faint bfp on what was assumed to be a non defective test was mentioned. In general, even presumed BFPs are considered bad form on TTGP

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
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  • @zamora_spin - I would find it very hard to be around all that pregnancy/baby talk too. 
    I got my results back and my hcg is at 34! So I'm hoping next Tuesday it will be down to 0 (I would go Monday, but it's a holiday). 
  • @ChloandCoco You are so close to zero! I'm sure you'll be there by next week. 

    How are all of you TTCAL ladies doing today? 
  • With all the drama yesterday, I was over there scoping out the March bmb. I didn't think seeing those boards would bother me. But apparently it does. Just made me angry that I have to start this process over again for the 3rd time. Doesn't help that I'm on 9dpo and I just don't feel good about it or my chart. Womp womp. 
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • I am annoyed at my uterus right now. My brown spotting has been getting heavier, then lighter, then heavier, then not, for the last two and a half days. If AF is going to get here I wish she'd just fucking GET HERE already and stop dicking around. That way I can shut up the tiny little voice in the back of my head that's saying "but it might be IB looeeze." SHUT UP VOICE NO IT'S NOT AND WE BOTH KNOW IT. :/

    /endrant
  • How you doing today, ladies? What's new?
  • @catlady1215 That sucks. I confess I've tried to stalk my former BMB because the ladies over there were nice and I wanted to see how they're all doing, but it's just too hard. 

    @looeeze I'm sorry your body is giving you a hard time and totally understand the wanting to yell at it. 

    I went in for my follow-up with the dr this morning. I was looking forward to it in some ways, just to be told all is ok, but I got a little upset getting ready this morning and cried in the exam room. **TW** It was the same exam room where I had my first and follow-up u/s that told us I was having an mmc, so it was hard to be in there. The dr was very nice, I told him I didn't expect to get so upset, and he said he understood, this was kind of the scene of the crime. He did a pelvic exam and urine test. **end TW**

    Dr declared I am cleared to dtd and ttc whenever we feel ready. I have done a lot of thinking about it and I think we will try this cycle, although we'll of course see if I O. I thought I would have O'd already (based on symptoms like O pain and CM) but it hasn't happened yet so we'll see. 
  • @zamora_spin, I'm sorry your appointment was tough mentally on you, but I'm glad he had some good news for you. 

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @zamora_spin - I'm sorry your appointment was hard for you. But it's good that the doctor was nice and that he cleared you to ttc again. 
  • @looeeze how is everything today with the spotting? Keeping my fx for you.

    @zamora_spin I'm so glad you are physically doing well. I'm sorry it was emotionally tough, but it sounds like you were able to be strong through it all. I will be going through the same thing tomorrow, I am sure it will be tough to be in the same space and those feelings will certainly come back. I hadn't really thought about this though, so I appreciate the heads up. 
  • @zamora_spin Sorry for the rough appointment. I think I cried at a lot of my follow-up appointments. It's hard to go to your OB's office and see other PG ladies and all the happy PG pictures, cards, and advice everywhere when you're going through such tragedy yourself. Especially when you've still got PG hormones in your body!

    @catlady1215 Stalking BMBs is not usually a good thing. It's a torture we put ourselves through for some reason (or at least I do).  Like, we tell ourselves "It will be fine. I'm at peace with my situation now. I just want to see how people are doing." and then we end up crying and upset or depressed or just angry. 

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • @icecubeinthedesert @ChloandCoco @rachelg777 @dpjennifer Thanks for the support, I knew you ladies would understand. @rachelg777 Yeah, I didn't see it coming but I am guessing a lot of ladies have the same thing happen based on the dr's reaction. And yes, @dpjennifer I was averting my eyes from the various ku ladies in the office. 

    Speaking of which, **TW** I'm hiding from a co-worker who brought their baby in to work. This is the second office baby visit in the past week ** end TW**
  • @zamora_spin, I'm also on the avoiding coworkers who bring their babies to work, as well as all the bumps that seem to be popping up everywhere. On Saturday I even got put in charge of the craft table at our company's family day with no helpers other than DH who I dragged along. 4 hours of torture. 

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @zamora_spin Glad you got the all-clear, but I'm sorry for the hard experience in the dr's office. It sucks when places that are supposed to be safe end up making us feel worse. 

    I'm with @dpjennifer. Stalking BMBs gets harder every month (not that I don't do it!). I'm tortured enough by things outside of my control.


  • @icecubeinthedesert You are strong for surviving that craft table! 
  • @icecubeinthedesert - You are extremely strong, I wouldn't be able to deal with other people's kids for that long.

    I also stalk the BMBs, and everytime I regret it...
  • Rant for the day: Told friend about mmc (via text) and her first lines read as follows, "I'm so sorry. We are trying too and what happened to you is something I regularly think about..." She has no history of mc, they are trying for first. Admittedly, she did say nice things and tried to be comforting as well, and I do understand that it is something every woman thinks about, but I was still like... 



  • @icecubeinthedesert - Ugh, that craft table situation sounds rough.

    @zamora_spin - Going back to the OB after MC sucks. It sounds like you have a good doctor that cares about patients. And I'm sorry about your friend's text. I hate that most people don't know what to say after a MC.

    I know in theory I should be talking about my MC with people and help them understand, but I can barely get the words out. I told a couple of people, but I get so sad and angry when their response is "Oh, I'm so sorry!" and then a change of subject. I can't just change the subject! Once I manage to say "I had a miscarriage" out loud to someone I consider a close friend, I need to keep talking! Uugggghhhh!

    How's everyone else doing today?
  • @msmeeseeks Yeah, I feel like my friend mostly got it right but somehow also made it a little about her, which, really? I should not be surprised as this friend in particular does that a lot, and that is why I waited a while to tell her, but I still feel kind of frustrated. You are totally right, people don't know what to say and it causes pain. I agree, sometimes I want to talk about it, or talk about whatever is on my mind in relation to ttc and loss. Do you have anyone in your life IRL who has been through it? I have found that ladies who have experienced it are the best at not saying stupid things.
  • @zamora_spin - Mostly right is pretty good! I do know several people IRL that have gone through this, but they aren't people I talk to very often. Most of my local friends I know through work, and my line of work is mostly populated with men, so they can't really relate, lol. I would like to talk to my SIL about it, because she has gone through this, but I don't want to talk on the phone and when she's in town she is focused on visiting my MIL and there's no time to really talk. So IRL I've pretty much only talked to my therapist, who is fucking awesome and told me about her MC experience. It means a lot to me that she revealed that, and then she said some hippie-dippie, New Age-y shit that was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I wish I could remember her exact words, but it was all about sisterhood and feminism and wisdom and it was perfect. I actually have an appt with her today, so now I'm jazzed about that!
  • @zamora_spin, I'm sorry your friend replied with that kind of response. 

    @msmeeseeks, I totally agree that it sucks that bringing up MC is a conversation ender. Although I actually told a make coworker about my first loss, and he knew just what to say because his wife has had two MCs herself. And they have 4 kids, so it gives me some hope (even though I know it has no bearing on my situation). 

    The only family member that knows we had the second MC is my SIL. I only told her because she had told me in a text message after my first that she had had one before, but never told any family about it. We were talking later on about my testing and things and she said she had no clue what having a loss felt like. So I'm pretty sure she made up a fake MC to try to sympathize with me, but then forgot about it a few months later. 

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @icecubeinthedesert - Oddly enough, the men that know about our MC have usually said the right things. DH has a much easier time talking about it and has told several people, like a few coworkers and old friends. All of them were awesome, but maybe it's because I wasn't around for those conversations? Like, maybe it's just that people don't know what to say to ME specifically, the person who physically lost the baby. Who knows...

    About your SIL.... WUT. I would be SO PISSED if someone started talking to me about a fake MC. WTF?!? I don't even know what to say.
  • @zamora_spin I'm sorry, it's hard to reach out to people and then have a less than desirable response. I have found that it is mostly the same with my friend group, I think mostly because most of them do not have kids yet.
    @icecubeinthedesert ugh... WTF for your SIL, that's just insulting.

    Not sure if this paragraph needs a TW in this thread but...
     **TW**
    I had my follow-up appt today 2 weeks post D&C. The results came back from the lab and the fetal chromosomes were not viable (XXX) - which likely happens when two sperm fertilize one ovum. Also known as a Partial Molar Pregnancy. I am struggling with everything surrounding this right now (risk for future -albeit low but still "higher", the prolonged follow up, the possibility of cancerous tissue, etc). Does anyone have experience with PMP's?
  • @rachelg777 - I don't have experience with PMP. Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. *HUGS*
  • @rachelg777 I'm so sorry you have to go through this. My dr question a molar with my second loss, but after final results came back, it wasn't. My sister had one though. I don't know a lot of details cause it was about 10 yrs ago... so anything baby related went over my head back then. She had no reoccurrences and I do know she had to do a lot of follow up bloodwork/ultrasounds etc. -TW- she did go on to have 2 babies after that -end TW-
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • Thank you for the sympathy @msmeeseeks and @catlady1215 - and also hope. There might be a long road ahead and there might not. Obviously we are hoping for no complications and a continued downward trend of my hcg and that it remains at 0 for next few months before we can TTC. Thank you for the positive thoughts ladies!
  • @rachelg777 - I don't have any experience with PMPs, but I wanted to say sorry that you are going through this. **creepy internet hugs**
  • @rachelg777, I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't know a lot about partial molar pregnancies, but I did look into it, and it looks like the risk of a second is still low (~1-2%). You're right that it is higher than the general population, but it's still very unlikely it will happen again. FX for you that this was just really bad luck of the draw.

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
  • @rachelg777 I don't have any experience or additional knowledge about PMP, but I am so sorry you're going through this. *hugs* 
  • @rachelg777 I'm so sorry you're going through that, I don't know much about PMPs but I agree with @icecubeinthedesert, the chance of a second one seems to be very low, lower than the other type of molar. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and hoping your hormones continue to go down and there are no further complications for you.
  • Thank you all so much.
  • rachelg777 My first MC was a suspected molar pregnancy, which is why I had to have a D&E. Thankfully mine came back as a missed miscarriage without any partial/complete molar issues. There’s a support group online for it: https://mymolarpregnancy.com/

    They’re pretty rare from what I can tell. But I was also told I’d be benched 6-12 months if it is a molar pregnancy. Because apparently if even a cell of the molar pregnancy was missed during the D&E it could grow and do it’s own thing. So if you were TTC you could get positive pregnancy tests and not know if it was a true PG or a mass of tissues come back from the molar pregnancy. Sorry about the bad news. 

    And sorry for late response... I don't tend to bump much on the weekends...

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • Happy 4th TTCAL ladies! Hope you all are having an awesome holiday!
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