Elbow deep in the uterus?! I didn't know this was a possibility and now I'm scared haha. I thought having my water broken pre-epidural (jabbed several times bc the dr didn't get it right the first two times) was painful but oh my gosh that sounds like torture.
I don't think I said anything too out there but at one point during my 2 hours of pushing the NICU team was brought in to assess my son's heart rate following birth. He didn't tolerate labor well and his heart rate kept going crazy (everything turned out okay). I looked over and said "whoa there are a lot of people in here, hi!" Everyone laughed. There was probably 15 people in the room and it was a pretty small room.
I had a natural birth with DD , and I was at my breaking point and asked the nurse to check me , she said I was at an 8.5 and she would come check again in 30 min. My face had to have been priceless , I literally though I might die if I had to wait another 30 min .... DD was out and on my chest about 10 min later . Once they let me push I though that the nurse was going to have to deliver her for sure . The doctor barely got her gloves on to catch. Once she was on my chest and the cord was cut ( we delayed this quit a bit ) the doctor asked me " do you want me to stitch you up?" It was the strangest question and I was not prepared for it .... I said with a blank stare , if it were your vagina what would you do ? Everyone in the room burst out laughing and she said " fix it " ... I'm not sure if she just asked because o didn't have any pain mesa or what , but that was a curve ball to me . I figured they just did it
I like watching sports, especially soccer, so it was perfect that during my weekend-long induction both the Euro Cup and Copa America were on. So we were able to watch like 4 soccer games per day in the hospital. By the time I was actually pushing, the soccer games were over but the NBA finals were on. I wasn't doing well with my pushing, but I deal with stress by escaping so at one point I asked DH to move so I could see the score of the game. DH joked to the nurses, "can you imagine if I asked her the score of the game, while she was pushing?!
With DS I had a 17 hour labor, so DH and I weren't quite prepared with how quickly I progressed with DD. (Both times my water breaking was my first indication I was in labor.) With DD, it was past time to go to the birth center, contractions went from 10 mins & easy to 1.5 mins and hard over the course of 20 mins. We got into the car, DH turned and asked me a question. I looked at him and said through gritted teeth "just drive!" He nodded and backed out of the driveway. To this day, neither of us could tell you wht the question was...but we both laugh. Then at the birth center, he was grabbing a grocery bag out of the back with Gatorade and snacks and it ripped...i told him to just leave it. DD was born within 5 minutes of walking through the door.
Joey 06.05.2010, MC Jan 2014-EDD 09.11.2014, Aurelia 08.24.2015 (lost twin ~12 weeks), Ectopic Loss Feb 2016, EDD 01.03.2018
During labor with my daughter my mom farted and her and my exhusband started laughing. The last thing you wanna hear while laboring without drugs is someone snickering. I told my mom if she did it again I'd shove my foot up her ass sideways. She apologized and said she gets gassy when excited to which I quipped "gross, now I feel sorry for my dad". My exhusband ran into the hallway so he wouldn't laugh in front of me while my mom stood there looking dumbfounded. It's funny now, but it definitely wasn't funny then.
Re: You said what?!?!
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020