This thread is for those who have started TTC but are now TTA or Benched. (There is also a TTCAL "sister" thread.)
***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***
This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You
can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and
connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey,
and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a
good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the
week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing
conversation.
Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA
= avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for
non-health-related reasons
__________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?
What brings you here?
How long do you think you'll be here?
How have things been going?
Any R/R/CS/Q?
GTKY: When you do laundry, do you meticulously sort your loads or just throw everything in the machine and hope for the best?
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
<div><b>Are you benched or TTA? </b><b></b>Benched</div><div> </div><div><b>What brings you here? </b>Azoo</div><div> </div><div><b>How long do you think you'll be here? </b>My official testing cyle begins in earnest some time July, after next AF, as well as DH's retrieval in late July... pending good results - <i>ANY</i> RESULTS - we will be gtg from there!!! (with ivf+icsi)</div><div> </div><div><b>How have things been going? </b>Meh. I do enjoy the new job very much. And we are all enrolled so benefits kick in in just a few short days!!! So that's great. Everything else is pretty much a mess tho. Lol</div><div> </div><div><b>Any R/R/CS/Q? I realised we have a wedding to attend possibly <i>very shortly</i> after my egg retrieval. Am I really foing to look ku???? I am not looking forward to people wondering or commenting if I'm just totally bloated and belly-distended from the hormones... :/</b></div> <b>GTKY: </b>This question was written for me. ❤ I love doing laundry. Sorting everything, choosing temps, handwashing the whole bit. It's kind of my jam.
I'm wondering what it's going to be like too, @BusinessWife. I've already gained weight from my foot injury recovery and I'm not looking forward to playing 20 questions. Hopefully we both magically escape physical changes from the hormones. (It's totally possible... right?!) I'm totally a laundry sorter, too.
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
What brings you here? (**tw) 2 back to back miscarriages
How long do you think you'll be here? Till I get my next period I guess
How have things been going? Fine
Any R/R/CS/Q? Nope!!
GTKY: When you do laundry, do you meticulously sort your loads or just throw everything in the machine and hope for the best? I sort some but my DH mostly does the laundry part, I do sort and fold after though!
@BusinessWife I've been going through hell trying to find something to wear to a wedding this weekend that doesn't make me look preg. It's so frustrating. If I was I wouldn't mind looking like this, but since I'm not (due to loss) it's intolerable. If someone were to ask I think I'd lose it. After the first (tw) mc, I actually was back in ballet class and getting my tummy tight again. But it's so much hard this go round.... hormones not back to zero, tummy still pooching.... nothing fits. I hope you don't get super bloated during stims, but I'd say plan on it so you are not scrambling to find a belly disguise like me!
@dragonette505. Ugh I'm so sorry. I can imagine the second time musy be so much harder emotionally. :/ I miss my ballet so much! I was never thin, but I had strong ankles and danced in the pointe classes with the older girls (like I was 12 and they were up to 18ish - they hated me lol) I am so jelly of ppl who are still dancing in adulthood. I even went back for classws at alvin ailey and then sprained my foot reallly really bad and havent been back :p
I did get a couple maternity gowns to try, like basically goddess-style maxis? And I have one similar goddess-style one shoulder blakc/gold even (the invite said black tie optional, but its a Sunday afternoon (??)) So that remains to be seen - will these things camouflage? Or accclentuate :/ could go either way....
For you this weekend, what about something A-line or fit and flare that shows your waist but then has a fuller skirt?
@Alohakumu oh dear, i'm so sorry you're having such a long recovery with that too. How's the foot feeling??? In the past 2 years, I have pretty much gained back <i>all the weight</i> I lost before the wedding - so if I'm going to gain another 15 lbs during stims, I feel like I gotta get on that and lose it NOW so at least I'll be breaking even!!! Lol
@dragonette505 Yeah, I figured it was wishful thinking that I wouldn't show any sort of weight gain. Maybe I'll just wear muu muus to work for a few months...
@BusinessWife The foot is feeling better in that there's no pain. It's still a bit uncomfortable and I'm going to resume my acupuncture treatments/check into getting an orthotic. It's really frustrating to not be able to do mega workouts like I used to, but I did go back to the gym for the first time in a long time yesterday. I can do 25 minutes on the bike and 5 minutes on the elliptical before my legs let me know that I'm done.
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
@AlohaKumu When I was recovering from an ankle injury I def got to do the stationary bike... hopefully that plus the elliptical will at least help take the edge off..
@BusinessWife I have to admit.... because of dance, I'm old but ive always had a great body. I have been fine with that being a hot mess with the bloating and hormones and OHSS making me look KU... because its all been for the goal. Right now, I guess because of the losses, looking KU feels awful. A lady just offered me a seat on the subway a little while ago. No words! I am going to be ok and its all vanity really so none of it is life or death. I have two dresses I ordered when nothing I was seeing was working. I'll try them on tonight. If they don't work then I'm screwed. I went for long dresses because I hoped it would help distract from my belly. I really should've just got a maternity dress but it just made me sad to look at them. @BusinessWife ps are you in NYC? I used to be a regular at Ailey but now I take classes at Joffey ballet.
How long do you think you'll be here? 6 months, maybe.
How have things been going? Eh. Back to work/the grind this past week, but hasn't been too bad. Sister, BIL, and 8 month old nephew are visiting this weekend. Looking forward to kayaking with my sister on Monday.
Any R/R/CS/Q? Been trying to make temping/charting a habit, but not sure if I should temp during my period? Didn't bother this cycle.
GTKY: When you do laundry, do you meticulously sort your loads or just throw everything in the machine and hope for the best? I loathe laundry with a fiery passion. I'd go naked if it weren't frowned upon. I try to do as few loads as possible.
I was trying to find a funny streaking .gif for @chellisam, but I think this is even better. lol!
Kayaking sounds awesome!
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
Re: TTA/Benched Check-In Week of 6/26
</div><div><b>What brings you here? </b>Azoo</div><div>
</div><div><b>How long do you think you'll be here? </b>My official testing cyle begins in earnest some time July, after next AF, as well as DH's retrieval in late July... pending good results - <i>ANY</i> RESULTS - we will be gtg from there!!! (with ivf+icsi)</div><div>
</div><div><b>How have things been going? </b>Meh. I do enjoy the new job very much. And we are all enrolled so benefits kick in in just a few short days!!! So that's great. Everything else is pretty much a mess tho. Lol</div><div>
</div><div><b>Any R/R/CS/Q? I realised we have a wedding to attend possibly <i>very shortly</i> after my egg retrieval. Am I really foing to look ku???? I am not looking forward to people wondering or commenting if I'm just totally bloated and belly-distended from the hormones... :/</b></div>
<b>GTKY: </b>This question was written for me. ❤ I love doing laundry. Sorting everything, choosing temps, handwashing the whole bit. It's kind of my jam.
TTC since June 2016
Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
Our journey has come to an end.
GTKY: When you do laundry, do you meticulously sort your loads or just throw everything in the machine and hope for the best? I sort some but my DH mostly does the laundry part, I do sort and fold after though!
@BusinessWife I've been going through hell trying to find something to wear to a wedding this weekend that doesn't make me look preg. It's so frustrating. If I was I wouldn't mind looking like this, but since I'm not (due to loss) it's intolerable. If someone were to ask I think I'd lose it. After the first (tw) mc, I actually was back in ballet class and getting my tummy tight again. But it's so much hard this go round.... hormones not back to zero, tummy still pooching.... nothing fits. I hope you don't get super bloated during stims, but I'd say plan on it so you are not scrambling to find a belly disguise like me!
I did get a couple maternity gowns to try, like basically goddess-style maxis? And I have one similar goddess-style one shoulder blakc/gold even (the invite said black tie optional, but its a Sunday afternoon (??)) So that remains to be seen - will these things camouflage? Or accclentuate :/ could go either way....
For you this weekend, what about something A-line or fit and flare that shows your waist but then has a fuller skirt?
@Alohakumu oh dear, i'm so sorry you're having such a long recovery with that too. How's the foot feeling??? In the past 2 years, I have pretty much gained back <i>all the weight</i> I lost before the wedding - so if I'm going to gain another 15 lbs during stims, I feel like I gotta get on that and lose it NOW so at least I'll be breaking even!!! Lol
@BusinessWife The foot is feeling better in that there's no pain. It's still a bit uncomfortable and I'm going to resume my acupuncture treatments/check into getting an orthotic. It's really frustrating to not be able to do mega workouts like I used to, but I did go back to the gym for the first time in a long time yesterday. I can do 25 minutes on the bike and 5 minutes on the elliptical before my legs let me know that I'm done.
TTC since June 2016
Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
Our journey has come to an end.
@BusinessWife I have to admit.... because of dance, I'm old but ive always had a great body. I have been fine with that being a hot mess with the bloating and hormones and OHSS making me look KU... because its all been for the goal. Right now, I guess because of the losses, looking KU feels awful. A lady just offered me a seat on the subway a little while ago. No words! I am going to be ok and its all vanity really so none of it is life or death. I have two dresses I ordered when nothing I was seeing was working. I'll try them on tonight. If they don't work then I'm screwed.
I went for long dresses because I hoped it would help distract from my belly. I really should've just got a maternity dress but it just made me sad to look at them.
@BusinessWife ps are you in NYC? I used to be a regular at Ailey but now I take classes at Joffey ballet.
Are you benched or TTA? Benched.
GTKY: When you do laundry, do you meticulously sort your loads or just throw everything in the machine and hope for the best? I loathe laundry with a fiery passion. I'd go naked if it weren't frowned upon. I try to do as few loads as possible.
Kayaking sounds awesome!
TTC since June 2016
Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016
AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017
Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017
October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total)
Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen
12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP
2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN
Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone
Abnormal SIS Oct 2018
Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis.
12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN
Our journey has come to an end.