How do you handle the worry?

mblomq2 · June 2017

I feel like my worry is crushing me today. :-(

I'm 7 weeks pregnant. Will be a FTM and this is my first pregnancy. I've been trying to manage my worry of miscarriage but today I'm scared. No signs or anything, I'm not high risk. It's just fear. I had my first doctors appointment yesterday, was hoping for great news and reassurance but I didn't really get that. They don't do an ultrasound or check for heartbeat until 13 weeks which feels forever away... AND now I'm worried because there's a chance my husband contracted Zika virus the first week of January and now I'm terrified over the possibility I and the baby could have it. Even though it's been 4-5 months (still possible according to the CDC).

How do you deal with the fear and chances of terribleness? I wish I had more joy. This is an amazing and exciting time but it's being crippled with worry.

-Megan

TattoosandLace · June 2017

Megan,

My OB waits until a little later to do a sonogram as to not worry the momma if a heartbeat isn't found/baby measuring younger than LMP expects.

"Today, I am pregnant." I say that every time I worry.

hullabalou · June 2017

Some worry is normal. Try not to obsess over it. Remind yourself that at 13 weeks when you find out everything is fine, you don't want to have spent the whole time freaking out and not enjoying your pregnancy. After 3 losses, I was a nervous wreck with my son and did not let myself just relax and enjoy being pregnant and I regret that a lot now.

The Zika issue is concerning. Is there a blood test for you or him that can determine if it was transmitted? Are you even sure he had it? Your post is not very clear about if he was diagnosed or not.

sabriel1 · June 2017

I just try to forget it a pregnant most of the time and time seems to go by more quickly. If I think about it I do start to worry. If it is absolutely crippling though it is important that you know that pregnancy induced anxiety is a real thing and it is something you should talk to your doctor about. There is a great mental health check in on this board with a lot of wonderful ladies that I would also recommend looking at

mblomq2 · June 2017

@hullabalou

My doctor referred me for Zika testing yes so I'll be doing that soon. They're calling me to schedule it. DH was never confirmed with Zika, he just had all the symptoms (bug bite, rash, then flu symptoms) and this was after our cruise to the Bahamas so it's defitnely possible. Even at that point he saw a doctor but they said they would not test for Zika. It was kind of BS. We didn't think we'd actually get pregnant the first month of trying and thought we'd be 6 months in the clear. But nope!

soulcupcake · June 2017

I try to be optimistic, but there are times it's difficult, and relief and reassurance come and go. There really is no "out of the woods" for me, but I try to focus on the positives throughout the pregnancy. It gets harder the closer I get to the end of my pregnancy since that's when I lost my first son. 8.5 years, two take home babies later, and it's still tough at times.

itsrandiyo · June 2017

Chin up Momma!!! Everything will be fine, and if something does happen...all the worrying before hand isn't going to do a thing

So try to enjoy it, and too much stress is bad for the babe!

seitzy3 · June 2017

I'm sorry you are feeling so worried. I agree with above posters that you could get a test if you are worried about Zika. I would put a call into your OB and tell them how you feel. It won't hurt! Try to keep your mind off the negatives, easier said than done I know, but try and occupy your brain with something happy and positive. If you like to work out, go do that, or watch your favorite show etc.

also, just wondering because I'm not familiar but what is the reasoning for waiting until 13 weeks? By then, your first trimester is pretty much over by then. I'm curious why some doctors wait that long.

sabriel1 · June 2017

The reason is that fetal heartbeat can not be reliably and consistently picked up with a Doppler Everytime so it is supposed to save mom's unnecessary worry if they try and don't hear one

KLHauck12 · June 2017

I understand how you feel. I was worried in my first pregnancy, which turned out fine. Now I'm more distracted by my daughter, day to day concerns about her. So it's easier to keep my mind off of it and feel like time is moving faster. So maybe whatever you can do to distract yourself and pass the time with things you enjoy (and make you feel less stressed). Do you get s chance to nap? That passes time and is relaxing, lol!
For me it helped to not get too caught up in planning and looking at baby stuff until the 2nd trimester because I couldn't shake the feeling of it being a jinx.

meatballs37 · June 2017

I just had to say that your post sounds very much like how I felt with my first pregnancy. I lived in fear of the first trimester, and even after that, I worried a lot. Because of that I didn't enjoy my pregnancy like I probably could have. I ended up with terrible PPD and PPA after my daughter was born. I would highly suggest you join in on the weekly mental health check in threads. I will try and post a new one each week. It could also be very beneficial for you to talk to your doctor about your anxiety right from the get go.

mpp06 · June 2017

Someone told me once to be happy and not worry and if something happens, then be sad, but until then it does nothing to worry because we have no control over it. I will admit, it is so very hard not to worry. That is your baby and from them moment you find out you're pregnant you want to protect them. But know that everything will likely be alright and that in the blink of an eye your baby will be in your arms ❤️ Will be praying that your worries ease and you have a safe and uneventful pregnancy and delivery!

TattoosandLace · June 2017

How are you feeling, @mblomq2

mblomq2 · June 2017

Hey all thanks for the support. I did mention my anxiety to the midwife on my Thursday appointment but she didn't address anything. I was also being calm and collected at that point though. Thanks for the offer to join the mental health thread. I just may do that.

I did some reflecting and journaling this weekend. As a self described 'smart stoner' (college degree, workaholic that also smoked weed almost everyday) I have to admit not intaking the herb has heightened my anxiety. I knew I was self medicating but with this big new life change it's more clear to me. This weekend I made a list of ways I will combat my anxiety and I also had a real-talk with DH about needing reassurance and positivity. He's good at those things. Ideas- affirmations, continue journaling, start reading again (non baby books!), positive back talk to fight the negative thoughts, asking for support when needed... let me know if you have more!

ps- one last thing. I caved today and bought a baby Doppler. I know I'm not a professional and I run the risk of using it incorrectly or not being able to simply find the heartbeat even if it's there. But since my first ultrasound/heartbeat appointment isn't until 13 weeks I'm hoping this will give me some comfort over the next month!

-Megan

hullabalou · June 2017

@mblomq2 I also recommend walks or even just sitting outdoors with a cup of tea of coffee. My anxiety gets much, much worse when I am cooped up indoors too long. I walk 1/2 mile 3 times a day on my breaks at work and I can tell a huge difference when the weather is nasty and I can't get outside.

mblomq2 · June 2017

@hullabalou yes exercise too! Good idea. I love being outdoors. I'm worried (hah I can't stop lol) how things will go when I'm in my third trimester in winter in Chicago. I will be so cooped up! But lately I've been adding yoga to my days so that helps

Chawk17 · June 2017

@mblomq2 how long have you quit the herb? I live in a state where it is legal ( I don't think Chicago's jumped on that wagon yet...i could be wrong) DH has friends who still do they tried to quit w pregnancy but it was hard.
Did DH stop too- for support.

mblomq2 · June 2017

@Chawk17 IL has medical marijuana but it's very specific, not for mental health issues only physical ones like MS etc. Chicago is decriminalized but not out for purchase like Cali or CO. I quit when I found out I was pregnant so 4 weeks ago just about. I read up on pros and cons of continuing smoking but there's just not enough research out there. My DH never smoked like I did, just socially from time to time, so that's not much of a factor. His vice is beer and that's a whole other story! Haha.

Chawk17 · June 2017

@mblomq2 im in WA dont forget us on that list

good for you for quitting! I don't smoke anything- DH currently smokes regular cigarettes but not around me.

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