Mine goes to my FSIL and her mother. I agreed to the bachelorette party before I found out I was pregnant. So when I found out I told SFIL and asked to get out of the bachelorette party because I know my ms is more of a night thing. It's also next weekend. She said that was fine. Yesterday I got a nasty email from MOB saying I owed her $120 for my share. UM WHAT?
So I call MOB and explain and she freaks out and tells me I still owe her the money. Fine whatever -Ill keep the peace. But then she lets me know how disappointed FSIL that I got pregnant and that she wouldn't have asked me to stand up if she knew I was going to get k/u. UM, seriously what part of unplanned pregnancy did you not understand? I really don't care about the money, but seriously. If my SIL has problems with me standing up I wish she would say something so I don't go buy a bigger dress.
@Ready4theParty UGH I hate nothing more than wedding drama. MOB needs to stay out of it and exercise some boundaries. Beyond asking for the $ (which is lame but I can also understand), every comment is an overstep. It doesn't matter if your pregnancy is planned, unplanned, or immaculate conception. NOT. HER. BUSINESS. FSIL can call you herself.
I've seriously been a bridesmaid 20 times (!!!) so weddings are a trigger for me. Bachelorette parties especially. People's expectations are often OOC. I just got an email from a friend's MOH asking me if I would plan the bachelorette party (along with one other girl) because she is 8 months pregnant. I'm not in the wedding party so I was direct and told her I would prefer to be a guest. Her email literally said "wondering if you would help with - well, actually just plan - the bachelorette party". Ummmm, NO.
@Ready4theParty she is way out of line all the way around. And FSIL needs to tell you herself if she has a problem with you being pregnant. How petty and childish.
My WTF Wednesday goes to my mom. She is making a mad dash up here with my teenage sister to attend the funeral for an elderly man that my sister worked for and was close to. That in itself is understandable. What isn't understandable is that when our cousin passed away suddenly in January, they didn't put forth this kind of effort. Nobody came but my dad and the ones who stayed behind posted all these things about being heartbroken right alongside pictures of their fun outings--including an outing they posted while the rest of us were standing in 0 degree weather burying our 23 year old cousin. What's more is that my mom has had a grudge against this part of the family for as long as I can remember and it felt like it was all intentional to stay away. Needless to say, WTF is wrong with them?
@Ready4theParty, MIL's comments about FSIL not having you in the wedding if she knew you were going to be pregnant are completely out of line. People are so ridiculous about their weddings. I feel like everyone here has an insane story.
WTF to my skin lately. My face hasn't been breaking out too terribly (no more than what I would get during my period) but my back is insanely broken out. I almost never breakout on my back (maybe a couple of spots across my shoulders) but it's seriously all the way down my spine and across my shoulders
I second that weddings are the worst!! People go crazy!!! Then years go by and they realize how crazy it makes everyone and they start to get it..but until then...ugh
Thanks ladies. I am letting it go but it's pretty thoughtless. We get a long great so I dont want to hurt our relationship because she's under 100 days and there is so much left to do. I don't care for MOB but I am letting her slide. It's her oldest daughter's wedding and they have money to spare so everything for the wedding is going to be "special".
WTF health insurance. I asked my insurance lady if I could switch form a silver plan to a gold plan the end of December (pay more monthly next year but bring my deductible down to only a grand). She said I could BUT Carefirst is requesting a 52% rate increase next year and will most likely get rid of plans with low deductibles! (My company doesnt offer group health) Seriously? If that does pass, insurance for myself and a baby at silver level will be $750 a month! Thats half our mortgage! If I wasnt pregnant I would not even get health coverage for next year. Im healthy and have never really used my health insurance before and now that I actually need it, its going through the roof :-/
@Ready4theParty they have money to spare and she's coming after you for $120? I guess it's further proof that having money does not equal having class...
People are crazy with weddings... when a joyful event like someone getting pregnant is looked at as an inconvenience for your wedding, you've officially lost your mind!
WTF to receptionists at OBGYN's office. I've had so many less than great encounters. I called today to get my results (because the LabCorp page said results had been sent to my doctor). I said, "Dr. LeMasters asked me to call a week from when I had my blood drawn to find the results, so I am calling." She said, "Oh if you had the InformaSeq, those results take two weeks--and that is business days! Doctors don't know anything." I said, "Ok, but can you have a nurse call me?" Well, the nurse called, and guess what? ALL of the results were in... InformaSeq, anemia levels, gender, you name it... I mean do NOT give information you do not know!
WTF to overbearing SILs. I love her, I really do. We get along great. The problem is she's super opinionated and everyone in DH's family always values her opinion and just goes along with whatever she says. When we first bought our house, she just started buying things and expected us to use them (rugs I hated, lamps, etc.). With my wedding, she wasn't terrible, but still wanted lots of things to be done her way. Now with our baby, she is telling me all these names I need to use and that I HAVE to use a family name, because that's just what everyone does, etc. I'm good at just ignoring her, but in the back of my mind it's just so annoying that everyone in the family bows down to her and I am not about to...especially when it comes to my kids. Rant over.
WTF to my ragey-ness today. I mean no one has done anything to deserve the pure rage coursing through my body (well, except for the IDIOTS who don't know how to drive in Kroger parking lot). I mean I apologized to my husband in advance of any crazy stuff I may or may not say/do tonight....and he brought me flowers...so...so far so good...I just hope I can keep it together.
I usually just lurk but my WTF for today goes to my toddler who decided he needed to take his morning poop outside with the dogs, and do it right at the bottom of the stairs.
@Ready4theParty - Your FSIL and her family sound... awesome. /sarcasm Did you agree to pay the $120 before you backed out? If yes I'd go ahead and pay it, but if you never agreed to $120 then MOB can suck an egg.
I'm so glad we didn't have awful drama at my wedding (aside from my favorite aunt unfriending me on FB after I told her daughter I was having a super tiny wedding and not inviting extended family - she said it was an accident and totally unrelated, but it was an interesting coincidence none the less).
My stepmom was the crazy drama wrench in my brother's wedding. I felt so bad for my SIL and having to deal with her BS. Their relationship still hasn't recovered and that was almost 2 years ago.
I'm in a wedding next spring and my friend (who was my MoH) is being super awesome and supportive. She knows that we were TTC for 2 years and when I told her about the RE's plans for putting me on fertility meds (which could have potentially put my EDD around her wedding depending on how many cycles we had to do) she was pretty much "Well if you can't come because you're giving birth or are on bedrest then I'll miss you but obviously that's totally okay." She'd even talked about finding a separate dress for me if the one that was picked for the other BMs wasn't PG-friendly. Luckily pretty much all of them are empire waisted, so I shouldn't need to worry about it.
My WTF for today: is it normal to have a payment plan set up for birth from the get-go? Today we get a letter from the hospital/OB' office saying, "Okay, so, based on your insurance and assuming you end up using half your deductible in other ways, your payments for a vaginal delivery are $425 a month from July to January. Please bring this contract, signed, to your next appointment. Included are seven payment slips for your convenience."
Like. I saw NOTHING like this when my son was born -- I would not have even know to plan for it. And there is no universe in which we have $425 to spare a month. That's basically half my regular pay! And we're balanced pretty close to our income!
We had 100% expected to talk payment plans with the hospital at some point during this pregnancy, but I had to not anticipated this. Now I've gotta call these people on Friday to find out if I need to cancel my next appointment until we figure out what the hell to do. I turned to my husband while we both stared at the sheet full of math they sent us and said, "Well, we're having this baby in the garage, I guess."
It's been a long and shitty day full of bullshit like this, and this was just the fucking cherry atop it.
@scatteringashes I am so sorry, I have never heard of an office doing that. When I had my first, the office had a flat rate for pre-natal care and delivery and they recommended you calling your insurance to see what was covered.
WTF goes to my daughter, although it made me laugh. I've been planning a special gender reveal for my DS and DD, to make them feel included, get them excited, blah, blah, blah... so, cut to today when I finally get the results! We are so excited... smoke bombs are ready to go, kids are ready to go, camera is ready to go..... reaction? Not what I expected. A picture's worth 1000 words.
My WTF for today: is it normal to have a payment plan set up for birth from the get-go? Today we get a letter from the hospital/OB' office saying, "Okay, so, based on your insurance and assuming you end up using half your deductible in other ways, your payments for a vaginal delivery are $425 a month from July to January. Please bring this contract, signed, to your next appointment. Included are seven payment slips for your convenience."
Like. I saw NOTHING like this when my son was born -- I would not have even know to plan for it. And there is no universe in which we have $425 to spare a month. That's basically half my regular pay! And we're balanced pretty close to our income!
We had 100% expected to talk payment plans with the hospital at some point during this pregnancy, but I had to not anticipated this. Now I've gotta call these people on Friday to find out if I need to cancel my next appointment until we figure out what the hell to do. I turned to my husband while we both stared at the sheet full of math they sent us and said, "Well, we're having this baby in the garage, I guess."
It's been a long and shitty day full of bullshit like this, and this was just the fucking cherry atop it.
Interesting that you posted this today because the midwife group I'm trying out called me today with similar information. I also didn't have this with my 1st baby and she was just born last year! But I'm under a new plan this year so I thought that may have been the reason. They called it "Global Maternity" charge or something like that. The way she explained it was they have no choice because this is how the insurance covers it, so they don't want to hit people with a whopping bill at the end (and I'm guessing get protests and pushback from people?)
I think we're also getting crushed with the whole resetting the deductible situation since we're due in January?
This is just for the midwife group so I'm not sure if the whopping hospital bill for delivery will be handled the same way...
I hope I like the midwife group and am able to use them, because they seem cheaper than an OB, based on my costs last year but I'd have to check. My 1st appt is tomorrow, fingers crossed...
@scatteringashes it looks like you've gotten a lot of feedback on this, just to add my 2 cents, our Dr had us sign a form saying we understand that we will be responsible for whatever insurance doesn't pay, and gave some suggestions, but nothing was forced right now.
@scatteringashes I might also give your insurance a call and ask about this. Because the office is making a big assumption here (that only half your deductible will be met) and if that's wrong and you need remimbursement from your insurance you want to ask them about these sorts of payment plans in advance to make sure insurance will. The whole thing is so strange to me, since they're essentially asking you to pay for services yet to be rendered. And if postponing/talking to your insurance doesn't help I might talk your OB's billing department about alternative billing/payment plans. I'm sure you're not the only one without that much extra money laying around each month!
DS1: Nov. 2013 DS2: Jan. 2016 DS3: Dec. 2017 Baby #4 on the way!
@scatteringashes my OB's office does that. I wasn't crazy about it but we have an HSA that we can use--thank goodness. In the event that I deliver in December, they will take whatever funds are needed to "top off" my 2017 deductible if I haven't met it and reimburse me. That is my understanding of it anyway.
@scatteringashes My OB's office does that too. My prior OB had a similar policy. When I was pregnant with DD, I asked my OB's billing office about it and the lady said something about it being a safe guard for the OB to get paid for the delivery. I guess they had some experiences where the mother did not pay the deductible/medical bills and then the OB wasn't getting paid for the service.
@scatteringashes I second PPs, definitely give your insurance a call. We don't have to set up a payment plan for ours until after baby is born and we get the bill.
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Re: WTF Wednesday
So I call MOB and explain and she freaks out and tells me I still owe her the money. Fine whatever -Ill keep the peace. But then she lets me know how disappointed FSIL that I got pregnant and that she wouldn't have asked me to stand up if she knew I was going to get k/u. UM, seriously what part of unplanned pregnancy did you not understand? I really don't care about the money, but seriously. If my SIL has problems with me standing up I wish she would say something so I don't go buy a bigger dress.
I've seriously been a bridesmaid 20 times (!!!) so weddings are a trigger for me. Bachelorette parties especially. People's expectations are often OOC. I just got an email from a friend's MOH asking me if I would plan the bachelorette party (along with one other girl) because she is 8 months pregnant. I'm not in the wedding party so I was direct and told her I would prefer to be a guest. Her email literally said "wondering if you would help with - well, actually just plan - the bachelorette party". Ummmm, NO.
My WTF Wednesday goes to my mom. She is making a mad dash up here with my teenage sister to attend the funeral for an elderly man that my sister worked for and was close to. That in itself is understandable. What isn't understandable is that when our cousin passed away suddenly in January, they didn't put forth this kind of effort. Nobody came but my dad and the ones who stayed behind posted all these things about being heartbroken right alongside pictures of their fun outings--including an outing they posted while the rest of us were standing in 0 degree weather burying our 23 year old cousin. What's more is that my mom has had a grudge against this part of the family for as long as I can remember and it felt like it was all intentional to stay away. Needless to say, WTF is wrong with them?
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
People are crazy with weddings... when a joyful event like someone getting pregnant is looked at as an inconvenience for your wedding, you've officially lost your mind!
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020
I'm so glad we didn't have awful drama at my wedding (aside from my favorite aunt unfriending me on FB after I told her daughter I was having a super tiny wedding and not inviting extended family - she said it was an accident and totally unrelated, but it was an interesting coincidence none the less).
My stepmom was the crazy drama wrench in my brother's wedding. I felt so bad for my SIL and having to deal with her BS. Their relationship still hasn't recovered and that was almost 2 years ago.
I'm in a wedding next spring and my friend (who was my MoH) is being super awesome and supportive. She knows that we were TTC for 2 years and when I told her about the RE's plans for putting me on fertility meds (which could have potentially put my EDD around her wedding depending on how many cycles we had to do) she was pretty much "Well if you can't come because you're giving birth or are on bedrest then I'll miss you but obviously that's totally okay." She'd even talked about finding a separate dress for me if the one that was picked for the other BMs wasn't PG-friendly. Luckily pretty much all of them are empire waisted, so I shouldn't need to worry about it.
SD: 21 & SS: 17
BFP #2 6/3/2020
*Trigger Warning*
Like. I saw NOTHING like this when my son was born -- I would not have even know to plan for it. And there is no universe in which we have $425 to spare a month. That's basically half my regular pay! And we're balanced pretty close to our income!
We had 100% expected to talk payment plans with the hospital at some point during this pregnancy, but I had to not anticipated this. Now I've gotta call these people on Friday to find out if I need to cancel my next appointment until we figure out what the hell to do. I turned to my husband while we both stared at the sheet full of math they sent us and said, "Well, we're having this baby in the garage, I guess."
It's been a long and shitty day full of bullshit like this, and this was just the fucking cherry atop it.
I am so sorry, I have never heard of an office doing that. When I had my first, the office had a flat rate for pre-natal care and delivery and they recommended you calling your insurance to see what was covered.
FX there is a better solution!
I think we're also getting crushed with the whole resetting the deductible situation since we're due in January?
This is just for the midwife group so I'm not sure if the whopping hospital bill for delivery will be handled the same way...
I hope I like the midwife group and am able to use them, because they seem cheaper than an OB, based on my costs last year but I'd have to check. My 1st appt is tomorrow, fingers crossed...
DS2: Jan. 2016
DS3: Dec. 2017
Baby #4 on the way!
I use Hypnobabies! http://www.hypnobabies-store.com/link.cgi?affiliateID=472
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies!
EDD: 1/6/2018
Eva Jane: 7/23/2014
@scatteringashes I second PPs, definitely give your insurance a call. We don't have to set up a payment plan for ours until after baby is born and we get the bill.