PGAL (Pregnant after loss) check in - 6/21

jensjourney · June 2017

I didn't see a thread on this subject yet and I know that PGAL moms approach pregnancy different than moms who have not had a loss. For this week's check in:

How far along are you?
I'm 6w6d

Do you have any appointments this week?
None this week. First ultrasound is on Monday

How are you coping with anxiety?
Most days I'm doing ok. I'm trying to stay positive. Ultrasound is not something I look forward to. It really triggers a PTSD response for me. I do better with anxiety when I have no appointments on the horizon. I am starting to feel the crazy train pulling into the station for my ultrasound Monday already. I'm hoping that connecting with other PGAL moms can help me through those tougher days!

Rants, raves, or questions?
Nope

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
DH and I have a timeshare in Mexico that we can't visit this year because of Zika, so we are thinking we will visit friends on Martha's Vineyard instead.

soulcupcake · June 2017

How far along are you?
5 weeks and change.

Do you have any appointments this week?
Nope. Not for a couple weeks, assuming the doctor does it then.

How are you coping with anxiety?
I'm okay right now. It gets worse the further along I get. The anxiety comes and goes. I'll feel temporary relief when I receive good news, but the anxiety always returns, and it peaks as I near my due month.

Rants, raves, or questions?
None at the moment.

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
Pool, zoo, movies, downtown attractions, hangout with the kids, relax/chill, etc.

heatherdubrow · June 2017

Thanks for posting this @jensjourney!

How far along are you?
4 weeks

Do you have any appointments this week?
Betas are friday!

How are you coping with anxiety?
So so so anxious. I keep peeing on sticks and stressing over how dark or faint they are.

Rants, raves, or questions?
None that I can think of

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
We just moved across the country so probably just settling in.

jensjourney · June 2017

FX @heatherdubrow keep us posted on your betas! I have done the pee on a stick thing...in fact, confession, I did it last night at 6w5d (while DH was out of the house) because my symptoms have disappeared and I was feeling particularly nutty. The best part is all I had was a digi, so I waited for the yes + sign to come up and I ripped that bad boy apart so I could see the dye...how's that for letting my anxiety get the better of me

heatherdubrow · June 2017

@jensjourney I can relate to all of that!

BelhurstBride · June 2017

@jensjourney, I completely understand the PTSD during u/s. I feel exactly the same way.

At my post op appointment my OB said she would run future pregnancies how I wanted, meaning if I wanted a bunch of u/s she'd agree. Right now that's a hard no for me.

hullabalou · June 2017

How far along are you?
I'm 4w1d

Do you have any appointments this week?
Had my second beta draw today, waiting on results.

How are you coping with anxiety?
Not well. I am still testing every day and obsessing over if the line is darker or not. I get really anxious with every cramp or weird sensation. My first beta was only 22 on Monday so I am praying for a much higher number today.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Nope

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
We live very close to the beach so will spend a lot of weekends there.

jensjourney · June 2017

@hullabalou I hope you get good news today. Keep us posted!

Thank you you all for responding. I really hope this group can help us all find the support we need through this process.

magnolia305 · June 2017

Good luck on beta's @hullabalou and @heatherdubrow! Sending you lots of positive vibes @jensjourney!

How far along are you? 4w3d

Do you have any appointments this week? Had my last beta draw today. So far my numbers have gone from 25 at 10dpo to 276 at 14dpo. Hoping for another big jump with results tomorrow!

How are you coping with anxiety? Trying to stay busy with DS and just trying to stay positive--easier said than done.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Not at the time.

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have? I have been home with DS for a month already (teacher here!), but we are planning on going to Door County, WI in July.

heatherdubrow · June 2017

@hullabalou fingers crossed for you!!

seltzerinstead · June 2017

Man I totally know how you all feel, time has slowed to a crawl since BFP!

How far along are you? 5w4d

Do you have any appointments this week? Nope - I haven't even called a dr yet. I had a bad experience with my OBGYN before I had the loss in Sept at 7w, I felt like every visit I made was a complete waste of time. They drew blood 5000 times, used the vag cam 3x and every time it was "too early to tell anything." It was stressful bc at 5w I had bleeding and then broke out in hives all over my body (probably from stress??), but the hormone levels didn't tell me anything either, it just cost me time and money. I know they were just checking to make sure it wasnt ectopic or something, but it all felt pointless. I am waiting until I'm at least 8 weeks to make an appt, and going to a midwife clinic this time. I'll be a FTM, is this crazy?

How are you coping with anxiety? This week has been good. I have been feeling way less anxious in general since I started monitoring BBT in March, it really calmed me down bc I felt more in touch with what was going on w my body. Everything feels different this time too, I had way less implantation spotting before the BFP than last time, and I have sore boobs and fatigue, and last time I had no symptoms, so hoping its the real thing this time. Sleeping and exercise has helped too, anxiety is high when I don't get enough sleep.

Rants, raves, or questions? I want a beer!!!!

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have? taking a long weekend for 4th of july and hanging around at home, going to the beach with the fam at the end of july for a week - cannot wait!

Thanks everyone for making a safe and anonymous space to vent.

azmamatobe · June 2017

How far along are you?
8 weeks today

Do you have any appointments this week?
None this week, 2 weeks until my next

How are you coping with anxiety?
I'm treating this as something totally different. Last round was my first and I made it to 8 weeks when I began bleeding. A lot. Today IS my 8 week and everything has been different this time which is great. I'm just keeping my chin held high.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Just anxious to see my next US

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
Living inside. I'm from southern AZ, it was 122° yesterday so no plans really just keeping cool

hullabalou · June 2017

Second beta came in at 91! So it more than quadrupled. I will be anxious until my ultrasound I am sure but I am starting to breathe a little easier.

jensjourney · June 2017

@hullabalou I've been checking to see if you had an update. Great news! Congratulations!

magnolia305 · June 2017

@hullabalou Yay! Those a great numbers. Congrats!

MamaRoni · June 2017

How far along are you?
I'm 4w5d

Do you have any appointments this week?
None.... haven't even made an appointment yet....

How are you coping with anxiety?
Doing pretty good.... I have a rainbow baby (15 mo old yesterday) that proves to my soul a baby after a loss is possible. So oddly.... I much less anxious now than I was with him. That said.... I haven't gone for an ultrasound yet so....

Rants, raves, or questions?
Nope

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
I have 5 little boys so our summer will be spent doing swim team.... barrel racing.... beach hopping and a trip to Disney!

GraceUponGrace09 · June 2017

How far along are you?
8wks, I think

Do you have any appointments this week?
No, I don't go in until the 11th (wah!)

How are you coping with anxiety?
I'm actually starting to feel better as I go along. It was really rough at the beginning.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Nope

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
We honestly don't have much on the calendar for the summer and it sounds awesome! We have a camping trip planned with our friends and will probably go once just our family.

@seltzerinstead I was the same way. I just called yesterday to make my first OB appt. I had a MMC soon after I made the call last time and somehow it was a trigger for me. I kept putting if off. Now I'm a little bummed tho bc they would have seen me now but now I have to wait 3 weeks since they are booked up. Oh well, somehow waiting made me feel better. Also, like you said, I had this fear of going kinda early and they wouldn't be able to see anything which would drive me crazy with worry.
Also also, I wish so bad I could have a MF. There's only one in our town and she's with a practice I really don't want to use. But they can be a really great choice!

wal2017 · June 2017

6w 5d or somewhere close to that!

no appointment until my first appointment which is next week- wish it'd hurry up.

Some days are better than others in regards to anxiety. My symptoms this pregnancy are different than last time, when I miscarried- which helps a bit. It is actually nice to have symptoms because last time my symptoms never got that bad. Somehow my nausea is welcomed gladly! I keep reminding myself that worrying won't help and all I can do is be happy that I'm pregnant today.

Summer plans include lots of cooking out, days at the pool, and long evening walks.

msunshine123 · June 2017

How far along are you?
6 weeks

Do you have any appointments this week?
None this week.

How are you coping with anxiety?
Most days I'm doing ok and I try to stay positive. Having my rainbow - now 2 - gives me hope and I try to just cherish the moment. In this moment as far as I know I am pregnant and I choose to be happy.

***TW - prior losses were a MC at 8 weeks and cord accident day of delivery at 39 weeks - end TW***

Rants, raves, or questions?
Nope

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
Beach, pool, concerts and baseball games

desertdweller21 · June 2017

How far along are you?
4 weeks

Do you have any appointments this week?
Three beta draws this week. Monday's (@12dpo) was 25 and today's was 60. So even though it doubled, it still freaks me out it's not higher. My progesterone from Monday was over 20 though, compared to 12 around the same point last pregnancy. So that's good news I guess. This is all from my RE...I'm going to wait to schedule the OB until I hear a HB.

How are you coping with anxiety?
I'm pretty anxious. This is my 3rd BMB and hopefully my last. I was going to wait to post anything until week 6, but I caved when I saw the PGAL thread (thanks for starting it!).

Rants, raves, or questions?
None at the moment.

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
Camping and trying to stay cool (also in AZ).

alemarie1 · June 2017

How far along are you?
5 weeks, 1 d

Do you have any appointments this week?
Beta test tomorrow that I'm anxiously awaiting

How are you coping with anxiety?
I'm constantly reminding myself that I can't control whatever happens and to not overthink everything. I switched to all new doctors **trigger ** our loss was at 23 weeks last October, my expected due date for our rainbow is within days of my first due date anniversary..

Rants, raves, or questions?
Wishing I had some time off from work, it's so exhausting. .

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?

I've been dying to go swimming, but we don't have a pool... We have a wedding in Vegas in August so that will be the highlight of our summer...

starla · June 2017

I'm so sorry for for everyone's losses. I'm happy that we're here together and that we all get our rainbow take home babies.

How far along are you?
5w5d

Do you have any appointments this week?
I moved my doctor's appointment up to tomorrow. Dating ultrasound on the 30th and first midwife appointment on July 11th.

How are you coping with anxiety?
I'm coping OK most days. I had a freak out a couple of days ago because I had some light brown spotting. It lasted about 3 days and seems to have stopped (that's why I moved my doctor's appointment up). I also took my temperature the next morning and it was down a bit, which didn't help my anxiety. However, I took it about an hour earlier than normal and had the window open all night. I took it again this morning and it was back up. I can't wait for first trimester to be over.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Rave: I discovered non-alcoholic radlers! First, I was making my own by mixing non-alcoholic beer and grapefruit juice, which is pretty good, but then I found canned non-alcoholic lemon radlers and they're amazing! I think I will keep making my own as well because my version had way less sugar and calories. It's going to be a life saver this summer.

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
Camping, cottage, relaxing.

Edit: Missed answering one of the questions.

caseymc2005 · June 2017

How far along are you?
I'm 6w4d

Do you have any appointments this week?
Ultrasound appointment tomorrow morning....hopefully they'll detect the heartbeat.

How are you coping with anxiety?
I am trying to keep myself busy, stay positive, and not think too much about it; but that's obviously easier said than done, isn't it. I am constantly counting down the days until the next blood draw or appointment. Last week's ultrasound and blood were perfect but I am always worried that the bad news is just around the corner.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Only a rhetorical one. Why does my fertility office do their pregnancy "monitoring" so damn early in the morning?! Dont you want me to be well rested? LOL!

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
Not making any long range plans until I am out of the first trimester. I'm just too nervous. The bright side is that I live near the beach, so I plan on spending a fair amount of time there for some r&r and some therapeutic salt air.

Chawk17 · June 2017

How far along are you?
I'm 5w5days

Do you have any appointments this week?
Just had both betas

How are you coping with anxiety?
Doing great. I don't have generally have anxiety- so doing great.

Rants, raves, or questions?
Nope

Since it's the first day of summer, what summer plans do you have?
DH and I are teachers- and like crazy people we joined a math curriculum team for 2 weeks, science team for 1 week, and summer school for three weeks.
So generally summer is a perk for teachers...we exchanged it for some extra cash:)

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PGAL (Pregnant after loss) check in - 6/21

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