Introduction

nmd9168 · June 2017

Hello,
I've been ttc since February 2015. I got pregnant in February 2016, but ended up with a missed miscarriage on March 31, 2016. It really affected me emotionally. I was depressed for months, still kind of have trouble even now when anyone brings up having a baby. I considered counseling, but never followed through.

In April, I started seeing a RE, she found out that I have PCOS and my husband has 20% Antisperm antibodies. I started taking Femara with May's cycle and had a trigger shot May 12th, with an IUI on May 13th.

I just got my BFP on Saturday 27th and had 2 betas. One on Sunday at 206 and one on Tuesday at 490. I have my first US June 19th.

I'm having a lot of trouble being excited. I know I'm technically 4 weeks, but I guess I'm expecting stronger symptoms. I feel like there's something wrong with me, for not being excited, but I'm waiting for the ax to fall. But that's me. Sorry for the pessimism. I'm just really nervous.

byrneme · June 2017

@nmd9168 - do NOT apologize, it is 100% natural to feel this way. Congratulations on your BFP - I wish I had amazing advice on how to not feel pessimistic but I don't, it's just the way PGAL brain works. This is a great community though and I encourage you to join the Pregnant after IF board as well as the ladies over there are just as great. I'm 32 weeks and still have my freak out moments! Congratulations again and I'll be thinking of you over the next few weeks. Always feel free to reach out when you have those moments, that's what we are here for!

nmd9168 · June 2017

@byrneme Thank you

HGRich · June 2017

Congrats on the bfp! I don't always comment here since I've had my rainbow baby now, but I wanted to say I dealt with depression after my loss and didn't want to go to my counselor when I got pregnant again because I didn't want to talk about it. I regretted it though, and I think counseling might have helped me through the first trimester better. I encourage you to try counseling if you can. I also saw on the other board how your family told everyone and a week later you found out about the mmc. That's exactly what happened to me too. I ended up only telling my parents and my husband's parents the second time, and didn't want anyone else to know. They understood. I hope things go smoothly for you with keeping it as secret as you want. And I hope this is your rainbow baby!

nmd9168 · June 2017

@HGRich Thank you very much.

peregrinefalconx · June 2017

Yes, to counseling. You can check my history and I definitely see somebody (who actually specializes in RE issues). The first trimester is just plain old hard. No two ways about it. Everything you feel, no matter what it is, is normal. MCs take a heavy toll.

I think I calmed down about this pregnancy at about 13-15 weeks or so. Once you are past week 12, the chances of something going wrong are greatly diminished. You just need to get from here to there. Seek what help you need and the ladies here can always help.

MamaRoni · June 2017

@nmd9168.... any update?

nmd9168 · June 2017

@MamaRoni I had my first US on Monday. Saw the baby's heartbeat and everything measured what it was supposed to be. So far, so good!

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