This thread is for those who have started TTC but are now TTA or Benched. (There is also a TTCAL thread.)
***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***
This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You
can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and
connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey,
and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a
good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the
week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing
conversation.
Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons
TTA
= avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for
non-health-related reasons
__________________________________________________________________
Are you benched or TTA?
What brings you here?
How long do you think you'll be here?
How have things been going?
Any R/R/CS/Q?
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or car?
Me: 35 DH: 28 TTC since June 2016 Azoospermia diagnosis (zero count) Dec 2016 AZFc chromosome microdeletion discovery March 2017 Unsuccessful TESE for DH in August 2017 October 2017 IVF with donor sperm
29R, 24M, 16F, 2d5, 4d6 (6 embryos total) Only 3 could have PGS. 2/3 normal. 5 embies frozen 12/15/17 FET #1 (1 embryo)--CP 2/7/17 FET #2 (2 embryos)--BFN Chronic endometritis diagnosis May 2018
ERA Sept 2018--borderline receptive--12 more hours of progesterone Abnormal SIS Oct 2018 Repeat hysteroscopy Nov 1. Treated recurring endometritis. 12/4/18 FET #3 (2 embryos)--BFN Our journey has come to an end.
Hi, This is my first time in the benched category!
Are you benched or TTA? I guess I'm both... I haven't had my doc say "don't try" but I'm def taking a cycle to let my body get its stuff together
What brings you here? Oh, just two back to back (tw***) miscarriages
How long do you think you'll be here? For sure I'm here until after my next menstrual period. I don't know when that will be as I am still currently (**tw**) miscarrying.
How have things been going? Pretty sucky, actually. But I'm managing.
Any R/R/CS/Q? Nope... though it feels bizarre to not be DOING something.
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or ca Wehate scented candles and air fresheners
@dragonette505 I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't even imagine.
Are you benched or TTA? Benched.
What brings you here? Psychiatric/bipolar/electroconvulsive therapy/perinatal psychiatrist says we have to wait until my ECT treatments are more spread out.
How long do you think you'll be here? A few months, at least. Honestly, though, I really have no idea.
How have things been going? Fine. Experiencing that normal "oh god everyone around me is pregnant or has a baby" especially with my sister, her hubs, and my 8 month old nephew coming to visit in two weekends. I haven't seen them in person since my psych hospitalization in May, so part of me is super excited, part of me is just baby-fever-is-raging but I'm trying to not let it get me down. My nephew is a total ham, and I love him to pieces.
Any R/R/CS/Q? Got an espresso machine today, but I have a treatment tomorrow so I try to guzzle water instead of coffee/espresso to help with the IV.Having tiny veins and being a hard stick sucks.
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or car? I like wax melts, as they tend to be more subtle. Currently have Red Velvet Cake subtly permeating my home.
@chellisam I've never heard of ECT, but hope its not going to delay you too much! The wait for moving forward is so stressful on its own! And YES... so hard during Mothers day and Fathers day holidays with all the baby pics and stuff... I see so so many baby bumps around me. Glad to have some company on the bench, but so sorry you are on the bench too!
@dragonette505 ECT is shock therapy, commonly used for severe mental illnesses when medication fails to control symptoms. An electric current is passed through the brain to induce a seizure. Nowadays t's all done under general anesthesia and with muscle relaxers, so the body isn't have a physical seizure. I've been going for 2 years, and it's been a godsend in keeping my bipolar stable. This past May was my first episode in 2 years, which has been amazing...like a sigh of relief. But I'm prone to seasonal episodes -- I can easily become manic in Spring/Summer and depressed in Fall/Winter months, and stress at work played a huge factor this time. As eager and impatient as I am, I also want to do it as safely as possible and reduce the risk of relapse as much as possible.
@chellisam That IS amazing! So glad you are getting more time between episodes! TTC is so stressful not to mention your work stress. Sending hugs and hoping this time goes swiftly for us both. I am trying to think of being benched as time to use for myself... getting my body back to normal and dealing with the emotions from loss and fear and everything else we deal with.
First time posting in this thread too. @dragonette505 - I'm sorry for your losses. Hopefully AF shows up fairly quickly! @chellisam - It's a good sign that you are getting more time in between episodes! Are you benched or TTA? Both? My GP said to wait three months but she wouldn't fault me from trying again immediately. So, I'm waiting one cycle just to make sure it's all good.
What brings you here? TW * Miscarriage at 6w6d, it was a blighted ovum * End TW
How long do you think you'll be here? Until AF shows up.
How have things been going? Things have been going ok, some days are harder than others, but it's getting easier.
Any R/R/CS/Q? I feel weirdly at ease now that I've decided to wait. Now I just have to find ways to keep myself busy for the next few weeks.
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or car? I've always like the pine tree scent that's available around Christmas time.
@ChloandCoco so sorry for your loss! It sucks so bad. I know what you mean about once you decide to take the time. Hopefully the time flies. Sending hugs.
Re: TTA/Benched Check-In Week of 6/19
This is my first time in the benched category!
Are you benched or TTA? I guess I'm both... I haven't had my doc say "don't try" but I'm def taking a cycle to let my body get its stuff together
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or ca We hate scented candles and air fresheners
Are you benched or TTA? Benched.
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or car? I like wax melts, as they tend to be more subtle. Currently have Red Velvet Cake subtly permeating my home.
Glad to have some company on the bench, but so sorry you are on the bench too!
As eager and impatient as I am, I also want to do it as safely as possible and reduce the risk of relapse as much as possible.
@dragonette505 - I'm sorry for your losses. Hopefully AF shows up fairly quickly!
@chellisam - It's a good sign that you are getting more time in between episodes!
Are you benched or TTA? Both? My GP said to wait three months but she wouldn't fault me from trying again immediately. So, I'm waiting one cycle just to make sure it's all good.
GTKY: What's your favorite scent of candle/air freshener for your home or car? I've always like the pine tree scent that's available around Christmas time.